by Leigh Lennon
In the past, I’d pushed the idea of intimacy with Levi from my mind. I was accepting it when he leaned his head against mine in the most intimate of gestures.
“Just let me love you, Doc, and the rest will fall into place.” I nodded my head, and it was all the permission he needed. He pushed me back to lie against the couch, straddling me. “This doesn’t have to go any further but let me feel your body. Let me taste all of you.”
I give him a little nod of my head, and when I thought his mouth would crash to mine, it took a detour, working toward my neck. He licked me, kissed me, and sucked on my shoulders while his hand roamed my inner thigh. It stayed put, not moving further. I wanted it farther north. I needed him to touch me and touch me there.
“It’s okay, Levi. It’s okay to explore.”
He pulled his head from my neck. “Hell, baby, that’s all the permission I need.” His fingers were the first to reach my shaft after they worked them down the elastic of my boxers.
I took a deep breath just because his touch differed so much from Red. I could feel his calloused fingers, but they felt unbelievable against my cock. When he wrapped his hand around the length of me, I stopped breathing. Shit, this was beyond my wildest pleasures.
“Do you like that, baby?” Oh, where to begin. First, I loved him calling me baby. And sure as the night sky sparkled with stars, it felt fan-fucking-tastic.
“SHIT, don’t stop. Make me come.”
His hand stilled for a second as though he had something to say. “Wanna come on my hand or in my ass?” My eyebrows hitched at his dare. “Ah, shit, Jordan, forget I said that.”
I sat up, pulling his hand from my cock. “No, are you serious? You’d give me that?” I asked.
His hands worked my cheeks, cupping them tight, bringing me into his gaze. “Shit, baby, I’ve wanted you to claim my ass from the second I saw you. Fuck, Jordan. I love you, and I need you. But if you aren’t ready, I get it. We can slow this down.”
I was sitting up when I pulled him from the couch into my arms. “If we do this, we do it right. Not on the couch. Let’s be comfortable.” I extended my hand to him and pulled him with me to the bedroom I’d been staying in.
He stopped me at the door. “You okay with this, baby?” His tenderness showed me he was a sweet lover.
“Yeah, I’m surprisingly more than okay with it. Make love to me, Levi. Break me in. Show me how you can love me.”
In the doorway of my room at Red’s place, I stilled, waiting for his reply.
43
Levi
Was this for real? Early on, Scar had told me if there was a chance with him, just the two of us, to take it if it seemed right. She’d never be jealous of what we had. No, she wanted it for us.
“I’ll love you so good. I’ll teach you everything I know. I’ll make it good for you, but now, I’ll show you how to make it good for me—for the both of us.”
His lips didn’t crash on mine. No, they started at my forehead as he trailed kisses down my face, then to my neck and over my shoulder blades. He kissed both my nipples, working his tongue over them as he kneeled, grabbing my cock for the first time.
“Fuck, yeah, taste me. Have your way with me.” My words seemed to give him permission.
As he licked my tip, I would try to burn this sensation into my memory. A hiss escaped his own mouth, and I continued to be happy by all of this. “Just a little, Doc.”
“You got it,” he said, pulling from me for a second. “Fuck, you taste good.” I’d been with enough men in my life to know their taste was so vividly different than a woman’s. I’d wondered if he, too, was noticing the stark difference.
After he deep throated me a couple of times, I needed him in me and now.
He stood, letting me taste myself on him. “I need you now,” I demanded. I leaned in and kissed him. “Hold that thought, babe. I’ll be right back.” We needed something, and though Scar had it in her top drawer, I had been carrying this in my duffle bag that I shuffled from Scar’s place to Jordan’s condo.
He was waiting on the bed, his eyes instantly locking on the items in my hand. “Prepared?” he questioned.
“Yeah, more like hopeful.” Jordan had taken Scar’s ass before, so he knew what to do. Throwing him a condom, he smiled. I crawled in close to him, and started, “Babe, I want you so badly, but if you’re not ready, I’ll wait. Please tell me.”
“I want you.” It was all Jordan said when I rolled over to my stomach. “Levi, no, I want to see you, see your face when I enter you.”
He was giving himself to me. Hell, my heart was so full of love for this man. I loved him; there was no doubt in my mind.
“Not sure I can be gentle,” he warned.
It was one thing I loved about being with a man. With our bodies an even match, he could be rough with me and not worry about hurting me. I could get off on rough in a matter of seconds, too.
“Do what you like, Doc. Take me, I’m yours.”
Jordan stilled, and I worried I’d overstepped when he asked, “Fuck, are we cheating on Red?”
Ah, he thought of Scar through this all, and it only confirmed why I loved him. “No, Doc. We’re fine. It was something we discussed. She told me if the time came, to have at it.”
A smile spread on his face. “Really? Why am I not surprised? I think stopping right now would kill me.”
I pulled him down to me and kissed him, but this time, I let him have the control. “Fuck, Levi, I never thought it could be this way. I’m sorry I fought you.” The good doctor was going to psych himself out if he thought of the past.
“Doc, please fuck me. Take me and shut up—get out of your mind.” I stopped briefly and added, “Please, baby, please take me now.”
He pushed his tip into me, his way of stretching me out. “It’s okay; don’t be gentle.” With that, he pushed into me so hard and so quick, but I welcomed the wonderful intrusion. “Fast, take me fast.”
“Working on it, LT! You are so tight and feel so …” He paused to lock eyes on me. “Shit, Levi, you feel fucking amazing.”
“I love you inside me.” My response was brief because it was all I was able to choke out.
Our connection was more than sex. Hell, I saw it and read it plain as day on his face. He was fucking me, yes, but he was making love to me at the same time.
After one more deep thrust, he yelled out my name as he came, and I let loose on his stomach. I didn’t care that we were a sticky mess. I pulled him onto the bed and into the sheets and held on tight until his breathing changed. I was sleeping next to Jordan after we made love. Shit, the only thing missing was Scar, and she’d be between us tomorrow. Everything had changed but in the best fucking possible way.
44
Scarlet
I couldn’t wait. I was wide-awake at five a.m. If I left in the next hour, I’d be back by nine a.m. in time to talk to them over a plate of flapjacks. No, they weren’t pancakes. No one better ever call my flapjacks fucking pancakes.
I was nervous; the voices in my head always got a bit cranky when I was both nervous and sleep deprived. Plus, I was positive Ell and her men wanted all five thousand square feet of this place to themselves.
I’d grabbed my suitcase and took one of the cars that the boys kept up here, just in case, and headed toward Chicago and to my guys. I wondered what they had done. Hell, they looked so cute last night, huddled together.
Logistics floated through my mind, and I wondered if someone had slept in my room or if they’d fixed the damage they caused. Had they kissed? My nipples hardened, and a warmth radiated between my legs at the thought. Was someone sleeping in the spare room? Did one of the guys take the uncomfortable as fuck futon in my office?
So many images filled my brain. And for once, I let the memories of my mom and dad dance around in my mind. It wasn’t the life that had been stripped from me of them being my parents. No, it was the good memories. My dad showing me how to fish. He was determined to make me a sailor i
n one way or another. Or the times my mom taught me to cook. Her specialty was baking, but she began showing me around the kitchen at an early age.
My future, or my ideas of a future with my men, gave me hope. Before Daimen and Arden took me into their fold, I’d had lonely Christmases and birthdays. It should have been any kid’s fantasy to wake with the knowledge and spirit that should have encompassed these two days. Sure, it would have been fun to have gifts to open, even if it was just a few like I had with my parents. Or smelling my birthday cake baking or helping my mom with the turkey or driving around looking at lights. It’s all stuff the kids in school talked about after Christmas. And the stories they told about the birthday parties their parents threw for them physically hurt me. I wanted it all so much growing up. I didn’t have it, but I’d have it with Levi and Jordan. One day, we’d have a family, and I’d be able to give our kids everything I never had. In that hope, my future would make up for my shitty childhood. With Jordan and Levi, I’d have the happily ever and never have to think about what I missed as a child.
In no time, all the beautiful memories of my parents and the future I had with my men entertained me through the drive, and I found myself navigating the streets of Chicago. I pulled into my parking garage before I knew it. I left my suitcases in the car and hurried to my apartment. I had no idea how I’d find them, but without a doubt, I know they’d be there waiting for me.
45
Jordan
The room was pitch black, and I was in a haze, my eyes barely adjusting in the darkness. But when I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist, I bolted from the bed and opened the blinds just enough to give me an indication of where I was and what I had done.
It was a good thing Levi slept like the dead. I sat and looked at him as his chest rose and fell. I couldn’t get out of my own mind. He was beautiful and tender, then rough, and then tender again. It was more than I had hoped for, and in my heart, I was already breaking for what I knew I needed to do. All my stuff was nice and neat next to the door. I grabbed it, closing it behind me after taking one last look at Levi. He had the gentlest of snores, and he looked so sexy with just a sheet draped over his body.
The idea of him naked with his cock that had come so hard made me want to wake him and let him have his way with me. I closed the door lightly, moving out to the living space.
I sat down on the table where just a couple of weeks ago, Levi had fucked Red so hard as she sucked my cock at the same time. I’d never felt a part of something like I did with them. So why was I doing this? When I freaked out, I left. It was what led me overseas to begin with. There was this girl who wanted more from me than I was willing to give at the time, so I up and left her. The saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” was meant for me.
With a pen in my hand and a piece of paper on the table, I wrote:
Levi,
I’m not sure why I’m doing this. Part of me wants to wake you up and go at it again. And then this part, the one that is winning, feels like a chicken shit to let you wake alone. But I just need a second to catch my breath. I love you, and I’ve denied it for weeks. But I can’t see how my constant fear of accepting that I’m bisexual at some level will ever be good for the three of us. Please take care of Red. I’ll be out of town for the next couple of days, so come by and grab your stuff at the apartment then. I will never forget what you and I shared. I don’t regret it, not ever, but Red needs more than I can give, and you’re the guy for it.
Jordan
Looking at the time, I see it was five a.m., and the sun would be rising soon. I’d get back to the house just in time to grab a couple more changes of clothes and then I’d be out of the apartment and to our family cabin in Northern Illinois by the time Levi woke.
My brother would know where I was hiding, but for now, I needed to wrap my head around all of this. With the fear and hurt that had coursed through Red’s eyes the day she left us to figure this out, I was selfish to let my inner desires win. She needed us and only us for her. Could I get back to where we’d been? Until I could accept this, I needed time. I only hoped he would take care of Red while I did.
46
Levi
I was typically a happy guy. But when I woke, my grin was like the fucking Joker from Batman. Shit, I’d fallen asleep with Jordan in my arms. Turning to the clock, I caught the time—8:44. Grabbing for my phone, I smiled at Scar’s text.
Redhead Seductress: Got on the road early. Took one of the guys’ cars. Will be back by nine.
We had sixteen minutes to get coffee brewing and take a shower. Maybe, just maybe, we could save some time by catching a quick one together. This time, I’d suck him all the way dry.
Jordan was an early bird, so I wasn’t surprised to wake up without him. He was probably at the gym or catching up on last night’s game neither one of us cared to watch. For both Jordan and I, very few things were less important than our Cubbies, but sex and Scar were the two things at the top of our list.
I’d hope that Scar would forgive us right away, then we could get to the business at hand of being together at the same time. I wasn’t sure Jordan was ready for me to claim his ass, but if he was, he was going to experience one of the best days of sex ever. He’d be in Scar as I was in him. But fuck, if he wasn’t, then I’d give him my ass again, and he could fuck me as I fucked our redhead seductress.
It was quiet in the room. The asshole was showing me up by getting to the gym first thing, apparently. As I rounded the corner, my eyes fell on the coffeemaker. The overachiever could have at least made me a pot of coffee before he left.
Something caught my attention on the table. Ah, my man had left me a note, telling me where he went. Maybe he was getting us coffee and breakfast in time for Scar’s arrival.
Picking up the note, I read the first line and let the paper fall to the floor. He’d left. Nothing else mattered. My heart was racing a million miles a minute when the lock of the door twisted, and I waited for someone to appear. I needed it to be Jordan, telling me he’d realized his mistake. If he’d done this before Scar returned home, I could forgive him, but the second I had to tell Scar her number one fear of being abandoned had come to fruition, I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive him even though I loved this fucker as much as I did Scar.
Reaching around the door was my gorgeous redhead seductress. She was a sight for sore eyes, but fuck, in her smile, she’d been working on the same false hope I had. “LT,” she boomed, dropping her purse and throwing herself into my arms.
She kissed my cheek and pulled back. “Fuck, I missed you. By last night’s phone call, I could tell things were better between you and Jordan.” She looked around me and then back my way. “Where is the good doctor?” Her voice was low and breathy. She’d seen our closeness last night before I’d made love to him. Now I wanted to kill him.
I let her out of my embrace. Reaching down to grab the note, the one he’d woken up early to write while leaving me in bed to wake by myself, I gave it to her. What a chicken shit, I thought about Jordan, being the one to hurt our girl.
“Um, I don’t understand. You two were together last night, and then he just up and left you?” The tears were already forming in her eyes as her cheeks flushed.
“Yeah, I told him I loved him, and he said the same to me.” I’d had my hand on her hip, and she pulled out of my embrace so quick. “Scar …”
“Fucking save it.” She looked away from me as if she planned to retreat, but in a split second, she was back in my face. “You told me this was for me. When you suggested this, you promised us that you wouldn’t push and look at what you did.”
I closed my eyes because I couldn’t bear to look at her. “Scar, he does love me. He’s just scared.”
“I’m not fucking blind. I saw it, but no, you had to go and push with your words and your actions. This is because you couldn’t keep your promise.” She pointed at her wrist, the one with the cast on it. “And you kept on and kept on. I thought it wo
uld happen naturally. But even I came to bat for you a couple of times because you were so cocky about it. Fuck …” She looked down at the letter. “Don’t think for one second Jordan gets off scot-free. I get it, Levi. He fucked you and ran. You should be mad. Shit, I’m angry for you.” Her compassion gave me false hope for one second, but then her red-rimmed eyes looked up at me. “But in the long run, you broke your promise to me.” She studied the letter a bit more, pointing to the last part. “And this right here …” She choked up. “Take care of Red. This won’t fucking happen. Don’t you see that? It’s the three of us, and if we can’t have three, we have nothing.” She crumpled up the paper, tossing it right in my face.
I stepped forward to offer her some sort of comfort or even solace, but she swung her arms around, making it impossible to do so. “Get the hell away from me.” She leaned up against the wall, and though I wouldn’t be gathering my things, I’d abide by her wish. Grabbing my wallet and my keys from her kitchen table, I made my way to the door. I turned around to say I was sorry, but I couldn’t utter the words. I watched as Scar slid down the wall into a heap on the floor, and my whole body ached. This was my fault; she wasn’t wrong.
47
Scarlet
He closed the door behind him, and it was then I became that same little girl who’d just been told her parents died. It was just like yesterday, and I could even sense Miss Maizie trying to pick me up off the ground. I wasn’t sure how much time passed until I was actually picked up off the floor this time. In his aroma, I knew it wasn’t Jordan or Levi. Through the tears that had blurred my vision, I saw it was Andrew.