by Leigh Lennon
I tried to speak, to say something, but Red spoke for me, “Don’t speak, honey. Just let us hold your hand.”
I nodded, but that even caused pain. I had to know, and they had to know what was on my mind. “The baby?” Those two words were all I could piece together.
“He or she is doing just fine.” I turned to Levi, who was holding my other hand. Him here, with me, was everything, especially after how I’d treated him.
“Dads!” Levi rubbed my face gently, a tear forming in the corner of his eye. “Doc, we’re going to be dads.” He leaned down and kissed me, and in return, I squeezed his hand. They stayed with me until I couldn’t keep my eyes open a second longer.
Three weeks was how long I’d been cooped up in this hospital. Fuck, I couldn’t wait to get home. We hadn’t talked a lot about us, and the same fear crept up in the past three weeks that had made me run to begin with. Scar had planned to move a couple of things over to my apartment to help me out as I continued to heal from home.
On my last full day, I was surprised when the door opened, and it wasn’t Levi or Red, but Arden. He’d been here to see me many times, but today, it seemed different, almost like he had an agenda. By the look on his face and as he sat in one of the chairs, scooting it close to me, I realized I was right.
“Ready to go home tomorrow?” he asked, and it wasn’t like Arden to shoot the shit with me. By then, I’d gotten mobility in the arms that had been hit the worst with the shards of glass. My back still hurt like a motherfucker, but hell, I was alive, and the little baby that was a part of me, regardless of paternity, was growing in Red.
“Yeah, I’m so tired of physical therapy. You know what they say, doctors make the worst patients.”
He was sitting directly next to me and I attempted to push myself up in bed, moving to see Arden better. “So this is not a social call.” I was an older brother. I got it.
“Yeah, I’ve had to wait, honestly, because you weren’t ready for what I had to say beforehand, but now, I think you may have some perspective.”
Perspective. It was a good way of saying I’d pulled my head out of my ass, yet somehow, I still kept Levi at arm’s length.
Arden steepled his fingers together, waiting for me. I nodded in agreement, and he continued, “But knowing you, like I’m starting to, you still have reservations.”
I shrugged my shoulders as my answer. “Well, I understand, believe me,” he replied. “But I have to say I wasn’t quite so fucking stubborn as you. I mean, I see it, we all do, in your eyes. And the world be damned, I choose my own happiness over anyone’s opinions.”
Nodding, I started, “It’s not other people I care about. Sure, it’s unconventional, but for me, it’s one gender or the other. It’s about my own preconceived ideas.”
He closed his eyes, thinking on my words. He stood, pushing back the chair. “So what you need to ask yourself is will your preconceived ideas keep you warm at night when your heart aches for the two people you love more than anything in this world?” He was at the door when he stopped and looked back at me. He seemed to have one last thing to add. “Only you, Jordan Peters, can answer this question. But if you can’t accept the love you have for a man, they will only wait so long, and then you won’t have a choice at all.”
He shut the door quietly behind him and left me with his parting words. The idea was more than I could fathom, and in the quietness, I had many tough decisions to make. But really they weren’t hard at all. Grabbing my phone, I figured I had twenty-four hours. Could I pull it off? With help, I possibly could.
59
Levi
I saw him every day, and it took everything in me not to grab his arm as I had when he woke up. I’d hoped he’d understand how fragile life was and welcome me back in his arms, but he was just as confused as before.
Though the one thing that linked us was knowing we were going to be fathers. But if we were not together, would Scar find out the bio daddy and exclude the other one? Scar still insisted that it was all of us or none of us. And when she made plans to move in with Jordan and stay in his guest room, I wasn’t invited. I was crushed but after almost losing them both, I’d take the stubborn as fuck doctor as long as he was breathing his next breath.
I was placed on desk duty until the fire department’s shrink cleared me. And the fuckers who almost killed the loves of my life were caught fleeing Illinois at the Kentucky border. It was a good thing they were almost a state away, or I might have killed them myself. In the investigation and their confessions, they admitted the truth to why they let Scar and Jordan go. They’d tried to blow the building the second my eyes found theirs. They wanted me to witness their deaths. It was dumb luck, I guess one could say. There was a short in the detonator—it was what saved them. I chose to think of it as fate.
Finishing up some arson reports they’d had me investigating until I could get back to my firetruck, I looked down at my phone at a picture of Scar, Jordan, and myself we’d taken at the Navy Pier one day. We’d had so much sex and wanted to get out and mingle with the world. Of course, all it did was make us want each other more. On the big wheel, we’d both fingered Scar, causing her to orgasm as we rode it. It was the best. Of course, she insisted on a selfie for her Instagram account, and I’d saved it as my screen saver. I’d spent hours looking at this picture. I couldn’t get enough of it, of them.
With one glance at my clock, Jordan was being released right then, and I wasn’t there. Actually, he didn’t ask me to come, and Scar suggested this morning to give him some space. I’d moved in with her to be close after her injuries caused a severe concussion. I’d used any excuse to be near Scar. And I didn’t want to miss out on any of the pregnancy. I was going to be a dad. The thought scared me and sent chills up my spine. What if we had a girl who looked like her mama? We’d be fucking screwed.
My text alert brought me out of my daydreams. Looking at the message, I smiled. Jordan and I talked every day. Hell, I saw him all the time, but it was all surface level shit and nothing super deep.
The Good Doctor: Meet us at Red’s apartment.
It was all I got, but fuck, I’d take whatever he gave because I wanted him more—both of them more than anything in this world. Grabbing my coat, I turned to the receptionist. “Something came up, and I’m not sure I’ll be back.”
I didn’t know what to expect, but he never really had to truly ask. Good or bad, I’d always be there for Jordan. And Scar and now—our baby.
60
Scarlet
The man was fucking stubborn. I’d come by the hospital to get him, and the staff said he’d checked himself out. I was hurt because he’d fucking run again from me, from us. When we’d made plans for his recovery, I didn’t want to push. I suggested I move into his place until he was fully able to be on his own.
Levi didn’t press Jordan for an invitation to join us. He came in every day and spent time with our good doctor. He was careful not to touch him unless Jordan initiated it, and he hadn’t. Levi was disappointed, but after almost losing us to those psychopaths, he was content that we were still alive. He’d been staying with me, claiming he wanted to experience every bit of my pregnancy—even the horrible morning sickness which had hit with a vengeance. He was staying in the guest room. I still was clear. It would be all of us or none of us. Both men were cautious and I stuck to my guns.
Hormones overtook my body, and I started to cry at being abandoned by Jordan again. Then one of his nurses handed me a note. I opened it slowly, unsure what to expect but confident he’d left me again. Now, it was just not me. I had a passenger, and I felt more outraged for him or her than myself.
Red,
You probably think I ran again, but I didn’t. Please meet me at your apartment. I promise, I’ll explain everything then. But for now, take care of our baby and get your sweet and beautiful ass home. I love you.
Yours always,
Jordan
I stuck the note in my purse and made my way to a c
ab outside Mercy, bracing myself for what could be waiting for me at home.
The elevator was closing when I heard, “Hold it please.” It was a voice I knew all too well. He was out of breath in his uniform, though he was on desk duty. “Scar, hey beautiful.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “You’re heading to your place, too?”
“Yeah, Jordan left me a letter. And you?”
A smile spread over his face, and I tried not to let any of this mean anything. “LT, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” He nodded in agreement but reached for my hand, pulling me to him.
“I’ve missed you, Scar.” Yeah, I understood what he was saying. Though we’d seen each other for the past three weeks every day, I missed his intimate touch so much.
“Yeah, me, too.” I leaned my head against his forehead until the doors to the thirty-seventh floor opened, and I kept my hand intertwined with his. Using my key, I opened the door but had to do a double take. This was not my apartment, not the one I had left this morning.
Jordan was sitting at a new dining room table that was shoved up next to my other dining room table. Boxes were everywhere, and my once small television the guys complained about without fail was replaced by a television the size of what Levi had in his house. Upon further inspection, it was Levi’s television and the table Jordan sat at was his from his apartment. Jordan’s recliner was in my corner along with bookcases that had once housed Levi’s video games in his own place.
There was so much stuff, and in front of my window sat Levi’s couch and Jordan’s coffee table.
“What in the world??” I asked, taking it all in.
“Yeah, I couldn’t decide, so I thought we’d decide together and the rest we could donate to the women’s shelter I volunteer at.”
But he hadn’t answered the most obvious question. I didn’t think I had to ask it, but apparently, I needed to. “Okay, but what is all this doing here?”
I looked up at Levi, who was smiling. He hadn’t said a word either. It was like he understood when all I saw was so much fucking clutter.
“If we are going to all move in together, I thought the logical choice was your apartment. It’s the biggest. But I wanted it to be ours, a little bit of all of us. I don’t have much, but I wanted to contribute something.”
My mind was not catching up with the reality when Levi tipped my chin to his. “I think he’s trying to show us what he wants, beautiful.”
Jordan stood, and by the grimace on his face, he was in pain. He grabbed both of our hands. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you. I want you both. I want to be committed to both of you because I love you, Scarlet Reeves and Levi Arnold, more than the stars, the moon, and the sun combined.” He took Levi’s face in his hands and pulled him close to his own body. “I’m sorry I’ve kept you far from me. It was not that I didn’t love you. I didn’t think I could give you what you needed.”
“I need you, you stubborn fucker, any way I can get you,” he replied.
“Yeah, I get all of this, now.” I’m star struck, seeing these two together in this way, and if I wasn’t already pregnant, my ovaries on their own would have figured a way to conceive at their sexy as sin display of affection. Jordan turned to me. “And hell, Red, I’m so sorry, so very sorry I’ve done this to you, making you go without either of us because you refused to choose. And I’m so fucking glad you didn’t because I want you both if you both will still have me.”
I was to the side of both men, watching them. I circled my arms around their waists. “I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you both, right fucking now.” But I would have to do gentle, and I didn’t want gentle. I wanted to see them fuck one another, and I wanted them both to take me at the same time. These thoughts floated through my mind as I was about to demand they take me to bed. If we could make it to my room. Shit, there was so much crap around my house, but I didn’t care one bit. I only needed them.
Jordan stopped both of our advances right then. “Don’t worry, there will be time for us to make love—all together. But first, I have one more surprise for you.”
He weaved us in and out of the maze of boxes and furniture, bringing us to the closed door of my home office. He stood facing us when he began, “Last night, I thought long and hard about the love both of you have brought into my life. As I said, I love you more than the stars, the moon, and the sun combined. So I was thinking those three things represented us, our love, and who we are to one another.”
I loved this side of him, how he became deep at times and wooed us as he was doing right now. I saw it with the mild shaking of his hands or how he touched his chin because he was nervous. I loved this Jordan. I loved every part of him, and I couldn’t believe both him and Levi next to me were mine and would be for life. And our love for one another was growing inside me.
“Red, you are the star in our life. You continue to sparkle. They are, in essence, a nuclear fusion, and you are exactly this. You bring us together; you’re the beginning of us.” He paused, looking at Levi. “And you’re the sun. You give off both light and heat, making us both warm in your presence.” He stopped for a second, and it was then I saw beads of sweat forming on the crown of his head. This was him being vulnerable, and I didn’t see it often, but I loved him even more for this. Just when I didn’t think I could love him more, I did.
“And that leaves us with the moon.” A small smile appeared on his face. “The moon’s gravitational pull causes our ocean’s tidal waves. Sometimes, they are high and sometimes low, depending on a bunch of scientific lingo that’s not important. The important part is sometimes it has caused major riffs, and sometimes, it has been calm. But the ocean would not be what it is without the moon. And without you two, I wouldn’t be the moon; I’d be some black hole searching for you to make me complete.” He paused, giving us both a weak smile. “I hope you guys can accept me for who I am, knowing I’m trying to work out stuff within me. I’ll make mistakes, and I will cause tidal waves in our lives, but if you guys are next to me as my sun and star, I know I can make it through anything.”
Holy shit, who knew this man in front of me was so romantic. I wanted to throw myself at him, but I couldn’t. I gently walked toward him, bringing him as close to me as I could. “Jordan, as long as you’re here, I will be next to you every step of the way.”
Levi’s strong arms were around us. “I fucking love you, your stubbornness and all. I won’t ever let either of you out of my reach again.” Levi began to pull us toward my room between the boxes, but Jordan wouldn’t budge.
“I have one more thing for you both.” We stopped, waiting for whatever grand gesture was next. My mind had still not caught up to him moving our stuff here or the whole stars, sun, and moon analogy. Surely, he couldn’t top any of this.
He turned the knob to the door where my home office was. “I hope you don’t mind, but I called in every favor I could think of. If you don’t like it, we can change it before the baby comes, but I thought she or he should have a little bit of us in his or her room.” Turning on the light, I’m greeted with a mural painted on the wall. And just not the wall but the ceiling, too.
The ceiling had sparkling stars. Over the baby’s crib were a moon and the ocean tides. On the other side of the room, on the opposite wall, was the sun painted to a dazzling brilliance. And on further inspection, the crib was the one I’d showed Elliot I’d wanted a couple of days ago. A deep cherry sleigh crib. In the corner was the rocking chair that matched the crib.
I couldn’t speak. “If this isn’t what you want for our baby, we can redo the nursery, but I wanted you to see how the three of us loving each other is the best thing for him or her, and certainly for all of us.”
I turned to him, Levi’s arms were around my shoulders, when I replied, “You touch this room, and I’ll gut you.” They both laughed at me, my mind on the beauty he’d created in just eight hours.
“I think that is her way of telling you she loves it, Doc.” But before I
could take in anymore of this room, Levi scooped me up in his arms. “Are you coming, Doc?”
“Yeah, I’m right behind you.” And he was. Looking over Levi’s shoulder, I saw the heat in Jordan’s eyes could not be contained. I had braced myself for the worst-case scenario, and now, I was bracing myself for one hell of a ride, mainly all three of us riding one another in one way or another for the next several hours.
61
Jordan
This was going to be tender, so very tender. First, I was in pain, yet I’d taken some pain pills just so I could make love to these two. Secondly, we’d be gentle with Red for the next eight or so months. After she healed, of course, all bets were off.
Levi climbed over Red, straddling her. Somehow, I blinked my eyes, and they were undressed. I had to catch up. Thankfully, I was in track pants and a large sweatshirt my brother had given me of Brock’s. The man was huge, and I needed clothes that wouldn’t be tight on me. At the moment, I was glad I could shimmy everything off very easily.
I stood to the side, watching them kiss. How I loved it before, but now that I was willing to admit my love for both a man and a woman, it was more sensual. “Doc, what are you waiting for, a formal invitation?” It was something we joked about a lot, but that was Levi. I’d always thought it was weird the names that Arden and Daimen called one another like asshole and fucker, but now I got it. This man I loved, loved being an ass at times.
“Yeah, ass wipe, that’s exactly what I’m waiting for.”
“Then get your fine-looking ass up here. I’ll be gentle with you, I promise.” I climbed onto Scar’s bed, lying next to her naked body. It wasn’t long before Levi’s strong hands wrapped around my hard cock, stroking me lightly.