by C. L. Quinn
There she was, the child, lying nestled inside her, warm, happy, waiting for nature to take her from the echo of life she had been to the sweet baby girl she would be someday soon.
A message sent to Sarah, over and over, not in any voice, but in a feeling that translated nonetheless, still recognizable: hi mommy, hi mommy, hi mommy.
Standing, Cherise lifted her hands from Sarah, but David stayed with her to guide her forward from the inward journey. He felt Sarah’s hand on his as her eyes lifted.
“Thank you, both of you. She’s here, she’s real. I am Shoazan.”
“Yes, your kind are coming out of the woodwork lately,” Cherise commented. “I’m teasing. I know, though, that this child is here for a reason. You wondered why the universe sent this man.” She tilted her head toward Sarah’s belly. “She’s why. None of us have any specifics, but that young lady will be right beside our other children when the time comes. The future looks very interesting.”
David carried three cups of tea from the little kitchen, all infused with honey and whisky.
Sarah started to protest when he shook his head. “It won’t hurt the child, but it will help you cope. Believe me, Sarah, you have a lot to cope with. Your life is changed forever.”
“I realize that. Honestly, I’ve just barely moved past the trauma of this entire event. Losing Mies, adjusting to life without him, helping Nikolai deal with all of this, and now this little girl. She’s going to need her father and he’s gone forever.”
Silent again, Sarah drew small circles around her belly.
“How do I do this? Raise a magic-infused child on my own as a normal human woman?”
“You don’t,” Cherise answered quickly. “You must return to France to Xavier’s home. Or you can come to Iceland. You are always welcome to stay with us. But Sarah, you cannot raise a first blood child by yourself.”
“I don’t know. Thank you both for all you’ve done. And this situation, Cherise, I can’t ever thank you enough for letting me know. My own child didn’t trust me.”
“She trusts you. She just knew that you weren’t ready for her.”
“I am. It doesn’t take me long to adapt to anything, although I admit this is the biggest adaption ever, but I’ll be okay. I’ll be there for this beautiful child. I will be a great mother, I promise.”
“I sense that, and my senses are highly accurate. Do you need anything else before we go?”
“No. I think that my daughter and I just need to be alone to get to know each other.”
“That is very true. Sarah, you’ll call Xavier or Tamesine and let them know that you’ll be home before she arrives? You are aware that vampire babies come in six months, not nine, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I know most of your race’s history. Not too much would surprise me. Other than anything about this particular situation with Nikolai and Mies and now, a child from a long-deceased vampire. Yeah, the word crazy doesn’t quite cut it, does it?”
“Not really, no. All right, we need to go. Take care of yourself.”
David leaned over and kissed Sarah on the cheek.
“Sleep well, little Shoazan.”
As with most vampires, they were gone the instant the door opened. Sarah stood looking at the wide open door to her apartment, unable to concentrate on the simple task of closing it.
“Mies,” she whispered. “I have something of yours.”
Outside Sarah’s apartment building, David and Cherise stopped.
“She’s not going to return to France or come to Iceland,” David commented.
“She isn’t. My guess is she’ll try to do this here in Boston on her own.”
“It’s a mistake.”
“It’s hers to make. And we’ll always be there for her.”
“I should let Park know.”
“Yes, you should.”
Twelve
Now that her life’s course had been changed once again, Sarah had a lot of decisions to make. This child must take precedence over everything and that included her own desires. Her own needs fell very low on her list of priorities.
Cherise and David had told her that she must raise her daughter with the first blood community. And while that made perfect sense, and she understood the reasoning, something held her back from buying tickets and returning to France.
Yes, this child was going to be powerful, and yes, she would need the instruction and legacy of her race. Someday. Until that day, she could live a normal life with guidance from a mother who understood her vampire heritage almost as much as the first bloods themselves.
In the end, that is exactly what Sarah wanted for her little girl. She wanted her to grow up as any child should, with no expectations of destiny or fate facing her; just a carefree childhood built on learning the basics of life, to learn to love and have fun, to feel safe every minute.
That’s why she decided to stay in Boston. Here is where her life was. She would raise her daughter to be part of the world, to see all of its beauty and know that there were things to be cautious of. She would shine here, have friends, go to school and learn her ABC’s. When the day came to introduce her to the first blood community in Europe, then Sarah would take her to southern France. After all, that part of her heritage would control her choices in the future. Either way, this child would grow up in both worlds.
However, it couldn’t include Leo. Sarah made the decision this morning over a strong cup of coffee. This is where the sacrifice must be made for now. A vampire was essentially a normal human child until full maturity, but there were some things that happened around them that were not normal. She would be too unpredictable and that meant that only those read in could be really close to her.
“I will manage to do this,” promised Sarah, her hand on her belly as it had been most of the day since Cherise told her that she was pregnant.
A warm tickle had invaded Sarah all day, little surges of joy that coursed through her. It was the child. Now that she had accepted the baby, the child was interacting with her. Sarah had heard unbelievable stories about how these children respond, even in utero, to their parents.
Love and gratitude overwhelmed Sarah several times while she wandered around the apartment and then took a walk in the park to think about how to proceed with her life. The decision made, Sarah was already making plans. First, she needed to let Nikolai know, but not in a text or phone call.
So she sent a brief text: Nik, meet me for lunch Monday at noon at Friday Next. Please. Don’t bring Naji. Miss you.
Friday Next was a family owned sandwich shop that had perhaps the best bread and soup she’d ever tasted. She’d been craving food from there all morning. And now that she knew that she was pregnant, whether it was psychosomatic or not, she felt ravenous.
“That eating for two thing, is it real?” she asked her daughter. “I’m going to go for yes it is and order a large pizza tonight for dinner. This could get ugly.”
As night settled in, so did Sarah and the large pizza, curled up on the sofa, along with a big bottle of cherry cola and an old romantic movie starring Doris Day and Rock Hudson. It was silly shit, and she loved it. At the end of the movie, Doris’s character was pregnant and alone until, just in time, Rock Hudson’s hero comes back into her life and they marry. Happy Ending ensured.
Briefly, Sarah allowed a moment to feel sorry for Mies, for herself, for this little girl who would never know her father.
“He is a hero,” she told her unborn child. “Someday, we’ll have a long discussion about him. For now, I need to go to the bathroom, clean up, and get some sleep. It’s been a good night, my darling.”
“What is it, Sarah? You would never have told me to leave Naji out of this, so what is it? Are you okay? Have the vampires gotten pissed or something? Is the universe retaliating already? Sarah?”
“Nik, God, calm down. I can’t tell you what I came to tell you if I can’t get a word in. No, everything is fine. Why don’t we order and then we can talk.”
&n
bsp; “Sarah, you have me freaked out. Right now, I can’t eat. What is going on?”
“I’m starved, so if you’ll give me a moment. Ah, hi, good timing,” Sarah said as the waiter arrived at their outdoor table. “I will take the soup of the day combo with your chicken pecan sandwich, an order of onion rings, and a basket full of the focaccia bread. Oh, yeah, and that cinnamon encrusted apple dumpling. To start.”
Nikolai watched Sarah lay the menu back on the table. When she looked up at him, she beamed. He could feel her intense joy at the idea of eating the food she’d ordered. Intense? That word didn’t quite apply. She was over-the-top crazed about receiving her order.
“What’s going on? Please, tell me now. I won’t be able to eat a bite until you do.”
Sighing, Sarah pushed the menu and napkin aside and leaned in. “In a little more than five months, I’m going to have a baby. Mies’s little girl.”
At first, Nikolai just stared at Sarah. He began to speak, stopped, tears welled in his eyes and he scooted out of his chair to come to hers. Pulling her up and into his arms, he held her so tightly, she had difficulty breathing. She held him back just as tightly.
This was something that she could share with no one else, because he was the only other person alive on this earth that knew Mies. They both had come to love and admire him and that a piece of him was left behind, his child, meant more than either of them had words to describe.
When he backed away, Nikolai wiped his eyes.
“I’m sorry, my friend, I couldn’t stop myself. You’re pregnant. With Mies’s baby. I can’t imagine too many things that would make me happier right now. Ah, Sarah how are you feeling? Do the others know? It’s a girl? Is she all right?”
“Whoa, Nik, my goodness, rapid fire Q and A! Sit back down, order, and we’ll talk. I’ve needed this for a while now. But first, how are you and Naji doing? You’ve been incommunicado for two weeks.”
He smiled as he finished giving the returned waiter his order for nearly as much food as Sarah had ordered.
“There hasn’t been much “communicado” between us either. It’s been a whirlwind of wine and lovemaking. We just fit so well together, Sarah. I’ve never met anyone like Naji, and the more I get to know about her, the more I want to know. It’s pretty magical. I have no idea where this might go, but I suspect, I hope, that we have started something lasting. I’ve never really been in love before, and while this is still too new to say that, I’m willing to admit that it’s where I’m heading. I just hope it is for her too.”
“Oh, she’s hooked, Nik. I’m pleased for you. Naji doesn’t spend weeks or even days with anyone. She’s really taken with you. And why not, you’re a beautiful man with a huge heart, the best smile, and a nice bod.”
“And some residual vampire skills.”
“Really? Like what?”
“Sex things, Sarah, and things I won’t tell you. Just suffice it to say that I can do some things normal men cannot, and she’s pretty thrilled. Don’t worry, I told her I had vampire skills and she laughed. She doesn’t suspect anything.”
“I’m glad to hear that. She deserves an uncomplicated life. Although, Nikolai, if you two remain together, then we will need to tell her eventually.”
“I know. We’ll hop over that bridge when we come to fall off it.”
English as a second language. He cracked her up and she adored him. It amazed her how easy it was to look at his body and not see Mies. She saw only Nikolai when she looked at him.
“I can’t wait to see you two together. Okay, my news is epic, but you know about all I know now. I only found out two nights ago. The empath Cherise came to my apartment and was able to feel the baby’s lifeforce inside of me. I’m having a daughter, and she’s not fully human so it’s a little scary.”
“I will help you with our baby. I am sorry to lay claim, too, but as you know, her father and I were very close. He would be so thrilled to know that he was going to have a daughter. I wish he could be here.”
“Oh, so do I. I’ve been assured that I can’t do this on my own.”
“You are not on your own! I will be here. There must be a museum in Boston that can use an historical specialist. I have a very unique perspective of human life and vampire through the centuries.”
“Which will get you killed. The rule applies doubly in big cities, so you can’t let anyone know about them.”
“No, Sarah, this secret does not leave me. I always realized how fortunate I was to be in on one of the greatest anthropological finds in the history of mankind, and that I must keep it to myself.”
“It’s also a great honor to be trusted.”
Nikolai bowed his head. “I know this. Okay, so in about five months, I will be an uncle.”
“Before we even know it, we will welcome her home.”
“How are you doing with this? I know you were falling in love with Mies and now, you will have a reminder that he is gone.”
“No, I will have a reminder that he was here. She’ll be beautiful, Nik, more than anything I’ve ever seen. She’ll be his but she’ll also be mine. I already love her more than I ever thought possible.”
“I do too. You must let me know anytime you need me, and Sarah, you must promise. I know you, you’ll do everything on your own before you ask. Raising a child on your own is not easy. My father left just after I was born and my mother struggled every day to take care of herself and me.”
“It won’t be easy, but there are millions of single parents all over this world, and I have a good job in a great city with every convenience I could need. And I have you. If I ever have to ask for help beyond that, I know that the vampires will come immediately. So I have no worries about whether I can raise this little girl safely and happily.”
“And Naji?”
“If I read her in, then she can stay close to me. If I can’t, then I will have one of the vampires use compulsion to erase me from her life. I have mixed feelings about that. We love each other, but she’s had a hard life, and being introduced to the existence of vampires won’t make it easier. I have to think of what is best for Naji. There is so much to consider before this child comes out to meet us.”
“Da, knowledge of supernaturals has been difficult at times, but also fascinating. I would not wish to have my memories purged, even with what I have experienced these past few months. Sarah, if they ever tell you that they want to do so, please try not to let them. The past few months have been difficult, but now, having made it through it all, I wouldn’t want to lose those experiences. In many ways, I am a stronger man for having known Mies and I am grateful to have known him and for what we endured together. I am more of a man, and less afraid than I would be having never known him.”
“I feel the same. And now, I have this little girl. I already believe she’ll outshine the sun.”
The waiter arrived with the first of their plates.
“It’s here! I am insatiable since I found out that I’m pregnant. I eat everything in sight now.”
For the next forty minutes that is exactly what Sarah and Nikolai did. He felt he needed to support her, so he kept up. It wasn’t easy.
“I don’t understand.”
“Leo, I’m not sure if I can make it any clearer. In the past few days, some things have changed in my life over which I have no control. Because of these changes, I can’t begin a relationship with you after all. You are a wonderful man, you deserve someone who can give you all of her attention, and right now, that isn’t me. You know that I’ve been attracted to you, I still am, but until things change, I’m not dating. Anyone. I’m really sorry, but nothing can change my mind because the situation that I face is unchangeable. I hope we can remain friends.”
Leo threw his hands up. “I give up. Uh, yeah, sure, we work together, I admire you, of course we’ll remain friends. But if you ever decide you’re interested in me again, it’s all up to you, okay?”
Sarah smiled. “Yes, that’s fair enough. It means a lot that yo
u want to remain friends. If I lost your friendship at this point, I really would be upset. You know this has nothing to do with you personally, right?”
“Of course it doesn’t! Who can resist this?” He held his hands out to present himself.
Laughing now, Sarah touched his forearm. “I couldn’t, if things were different, I promise. Okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
Dropping his grin, Leo nodded. “I guess so. You know, I accept that something is keeping you from going out with me, but I still have hope.”
“You’re a really good man with a good heart. I’m the one losing out here. See you tomorrow.”
It was done. One more tie broken to the life she had hoped to build here. The next challenge that remained would be the deepest cut of all. She would have to discover if Naji would also become the casualty of a bitter choice.
Tonight, though, she needed to call Tamesine.
IN SOUTHERN FRANCE
The phone interrupted Marc just as he’d fallen asleep. Fishing it off the bedside table, he saw it was Sarah in Boston.
“Tam, baby, wake up,” he moaned into his mate’s ear.
“Why…do the children need me?”
“Your girl in Boston’s calling.”
“Oh.” Tamesine rolled into a sitting position and took the phone from Marc, grimaced when he dropped and pulled his pillow under his head to fall off quickly.
Pressing the button, she answered softly. “Sarah?”
“Tamesine, hi, I know it’s late for you, I’m sorry. I just needed to check in and I couldn’t wait. I’ll be brief.”
“Okay, dear, what did you need?”
“You know, don’t you?”
Sliding from her bed, Tamesine walked carefully past the children’s beds into the large bathroom attached to their suite.
“Of course. Cherise called as soon as she left you. We care about you and know what a difficult time you’ll have raising this child.”