by Jenna Kernan
She’d let him. Her kiss left no doubt. He could do all the things he’d imagined as he lay beside her night after night on the frozen ground. He’d never wanted anything so much as he wanted Lily. Why hadn’t he done this weeks ago instead of bickering about this or that?
Lily’s hands were tugging at his shirttails. A moment later she had them up and out of his trousers, her fingernails raking over his skin, arousing him to madness. He eyed the table behind them and draped her half across it.
A pot clattered to the floor and Lily startled, then stiffened in his arms. An instant later she turned her head away, depriving him of her full mouth as she pushed against his shoulders.
“Let me up, Jack.”
Somehow he’d taken her to the table beside the kitchen stove, where her employer, Sasha Cowdan, now stood staring at the two of them tangled together like newlyweds.
Lily slipped from his arms and tugged at her blouse, her face flaming with embarrassment. Jack tucked in his shirt.
What the devil had gotten into him? He’d just wanted to speak to her about his tools. No. If he were honest, he’d admit he’d come for this, had wanted it since that day in her tent when she’d stroked his bare chest. And he would keep coming back for this as long as she’d let him. Lily was like a hunger now, something he could not control with his mind. He needed her body, her mouth, her throat.
And she needed him, too. Her kiss told him that. No wonder she’d held him off all these days and weeks. It wasn’t to protect herself from his unwelcome advances. It was to keep him from learning they were wanted.
“I’m sorry,” she said to Sasha.
He wasn’t. He’d never be sorry for something that perfect. Why hadn’t Nancy ever kissed him like that? Why hadn’t she held him as if she were drowning and only he could save her?
Lily elbowed him and then cast her gaze from him to Sasha. Jack had forgotten the woman was there again. He couldn’t seem to see anyone or anything but Lily.
She glanced at Sasha. “He’s sorry, too.”
But he wasn’t. He’d do it again when he had the chance, was already planning their next encounter. Somewhere private—their boat! Yes, he’d have her alone then under the stars with the northern skies glowing with their shimmering light.
“Jack. I don’t know what got into you,” said Lily, trying and failing in pulling off the rebuke.
Into us, he wanted to say, but he couldn’t seem to speak as he stared into her blue eyes. Her lips were swollen. His mouth twitched in a satisfied smile. He’d done that to her. His kisses made her cheeks and neck flush a tempting pink and her lips full with wanting.
She placed a hand on her bodice, which was rising and falling in a manner that made him take another step toward her.
But she turned away, helping Sasha mop up the hot water which now steamed from the floorboards.
“Out of my kitchen, Jack Snow,” said Sasha.
“Tools,” he said to Lily.
“Tomorrow,” she said without looking up.
“You’ll bring them?” he asked.
She hesitated, biting her lower lip between sharp white teeth. How he wanted those strong teeth to score his skin as she raked her nails over his back again.
He waited, taking in the worry in her eyes. She should be worried, very worried. She had been wise to hold him off, had somehow succeeded. But now he knew her secret.
She wanted him, too.
“Well?” he asked.
“Yes, yes. Now go.”
His smile held the sweetness of victory. She could come to him and he’d be waiting for Lily to forget her resistance and again give him the sweetness of her kiss.
He left them, wondering why he had ever thought he wanted a sweet, compliant woman when he could have wildfire. As he walked out into the night to cool his skin, he compared her to every woman he’d ever met and found each one lacking. Lily, despite her best efforts, had roused him to near madness with just a kiss. Why were all the women back there as pale and meaningless as their poorly painted watercolors and self-indulgent poetry? Not one could do a blessed thing except order servants about and primp. None of them could have walked all the way from Dyea.
He scowled up at the sky, wondering what it would feel like, for once in his life, to take what he wanted instead of doing what was expected of him?
Lily rose even earlier than was her custom to track down Jack’s tools. She hoped to have them gathered and returned to his boat before he even rose from his bed on the opposite side of the large dining room.
Nala stood when Lily left her bedding and stretched, nose down, back arched and then shook as her mistress rolled her thin pallet and blankets. Her hound walked silently behind her as she slipped out into the dark predawn. The sun had begun to rise again, peeking up above the mountains with a dim, joyless light that never seemed to penetrate the clouds before falling back below the horizon for eighteen hours at a stretch. Lily covered her face against the cold and slid her hands out of her gloves so she could maneuver her sled behind the dog. She hung the lantern first and then gathered the leather straps.
Her dog stood still as Lily strapped her into her harness and then mounted the sled. Nala began to yip and bark in excitement as she bounced straight up and down in her harness traces waiting for Lily to draw on her gloves. The instant she had her feet secure upon the boards and gripped the drive bow, Nala was off, bounding on the fresh snow and breaking a trail with her massive chest. Lily laughed in delight as the wind burned her cheeks. The cold made her eyeballs ache, but she didn’t care. She loved the thrill of dog-sledding. It seemed the perfect mix of exhilaration and beauty. In a few minutes they were away from the half-buried buildings and flying over the frozen lake. Here the wind had scoured much of the snow away, making it ideal for Nala to run with all she had. They traveled in a magic golden circle of light, provided by the lantern. The only sound was the slide of the runners as they scraped over the granular snow. Lily made a circuitous route to the camps of the men who used Jack’s tools, stopping to gather them like fallen apples from the half-finished boats that lined the shore. The whipsaw was last and with that aboard she turned toward home. Nala now settled into a tireless trot that Lily knew she could maintain for hours.
As she left the lake, and slipped between the tall silent sentinels of trees, Lily marveled at how the snow crystals shimmered on the dark trunks of the evergreens and how the snow-laden branches dipped to brush the ground. She spied Jack’s building site and smiled. When he rose the tools would be here waiting and best of all, she would not have to face him. For the only thing more exhilarating than riding her empty sled was kissing Jack Snow.
Something moved beside the boat. Lily pulled on the brake and called for Nala to halt. A man stepped into the circle of light. Jack, she realized.
Her heartbeat tripled as she stared at him, tall and handsome. He placed a gloved hand on the upturned boat and brushed off the snow.
Lily lowered her muffler and tried to speak, but her voice was breathless, as if she had been pulling the sled.
“You’re up early.”
His grin was charming, but the twinkle in his eye spoke of mischief.
“Following you.”
“I have your tools.”
Jack unloaded them. “Ride me back for breakfast?”
She hesitated. To say no would be rude, for he’d have to wade through the snow to return to the hotel. But to say yes was to allow him to stand behind her on the foot boards, his big body pressed close behind hers.
She didn’t remember nodding yes, but a moment later he was there, encircling her, his arms reaching around her to grip the drive bow. She lifted the reins and Nala glanced back.
“Ya!” said Lily and they were off.
Jack laughed, echoing her excitement in the joyful sound. After a moment she steered them away from the hotel and out onto the lake, wanting Jack to feel the thrill of riding with Nala running full-tilt.
Her dog hit the lake at a run and they whizzed along, Jack gripping the bow as she leaned back against him.
He called her name and she turned her head, tilting it back to look at him as they raced over the frozen lake. But he didn’t speak again, only moved forward to kiss her.
His mouth was hot and cold all at once and his tongue slipped along her mouth. She felt a moment’s resistance, but she could not hold on. The world was flying by too fast and Jack was holding on too tight. Lily surrendered to the thrill of the ride and the kiss and the man who had found her weakness in him.
In a moment he broke free and howled like a wolf to the dark sky. Lily laughed and turned them back for home. Nala slowed to a trot as they hit the deeper snow and brought them safely to the hotel.
“I’ll never forget that ride if I live to be a hundred,” said Jack.
Lily smiled, wondering if her mother would be proud of her. Was this the adventure her mother had intended? Had she known what would happen by releasing Lily into the world? It was such a marvel, this territory, and she now felt it flowing in her blood, becoming a part of her.
Jack stepped down and then turned to kiss her again. But Lily was ready this time.
“Ya!” she said, sliding away from him as Nala trotted toward the kitchen, where Lily stored her sled.
“You can’t run forever,” he called.
Perhaps not, she thought. But she sure could try.
Over the next several weeks Lily avoided him when possible as he worked tirelessly on their flat-bottomed boat. She had a knack for visiting only when the lakeshore was filled with other builders and by being on the far side of the room when they lay down to sleep.
He cautioned himself to patience. The break-up was coming—not just for the lakes, but for them, and with it, his opportunity to have Lily alone.
He built his craft on the shore, electing not to set it up on the ice as many others did for he feared the break-up’s power and unpredictability. No one could say exactly when the ice in Lake Bennett would fail, but Jack expected it would be awe-inspiring. When he could not work for exhaustion, he gathered with other men to share what they knew of the river. He borrowed a tattered copy of the December fifteenth edition of the Dawson City News, now four months old. Jack had read the passage concerning White Horse Rapids often and knew it by heart.
The rapids are a half mile long and dangerous. A reef of rock juts from the left shore as the river narrows and the water boils with waves running five feet in height. Here a long boat comes in handy as a short one falls mercy to the waves. The landing is to the left beyond the reef and to the right lie the graves of those who drowned in their attempt.
He had not shown Lily the article, for he saw no need to have a hysterical woman on his hands, but he did bring her to see his completed boat. She surveyed his work with a critical eye.
“You’ve doubled the planking on the bottom,” she noted.
“To strengthen the hull,” he said, noticing how her dark hair shone in the light.
“Then why not the front?”
“It’s called the bow.”
He tried for her hand and she stepped around the boat on the pretence of inspecting his handiwork, but actually putting the hull between them. He smiled. Run, but you can’t hide.
“That’s the part that’s likely to hit the rocks at White Horse Pass.”
He scowled, staring at the boat again, thinking that she might be right. “How do you know about the pass?”
“Did you think that because I’m Irish I can’t read?”
He had indeed thought that. “Of course not.”
She sniffed. “Men are laying wagers on the break-up. Odds say it will be on May twenty-fifth.”
“Did you lay a bet?”
She laughed. “Jack, I don’t lay bets, though I have occasionally taken them.”
She glanced across the frozen lake. “Snow’s already gone from the hillsides, but this ice is as stubborn as any Irishman, overstaying his welcome.” She turned back to him. “I know it’s May already, but do you think we’ll see Dawson by June?”
“Possibly. July definitely.”
“And the snows coming again by September. That’s not long to lay your claim on the Eldorado.”
“I won’t be digging by a stream. Those claims will be long gone.”
She sighed, the worry returning to her eyes. How he wished he could hold her and assure her that everything would be all right. But her concern was well justified. He’d been so focused on the possibility of being alone with her that he’d nearly forgotten the danger of the rest of the journey. Arriving late to Dawson would be the least of his worries.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Afraid you’ll have to feed me all next winter, too?” He tried for a smile and failed. He wanted her so badly he ached. Did she have any idea how much?
Her composure slipped. “I promised you that I would help you all I can, Jack, and so I will.”
“Lily?” He reached for her but she held up a hand to stop him.
“No, Jack. Not again. I know what you’re wanting from me and now you know the way of it with me, as well. But I need you to understand. I made a promise to my ma to see more than the walls of our tenement. I’m here for an adventure and to be part of something bigger than myself. You’ve become very dear to me. But if you’re thinking to have me, I’m asking you not to. I know a man like you doesn’t choose a woman like me for long. I’m trying to be wiser than my ma. She fell to temptation a time or two. They didn’t stay. Nor will you, Jack. So don’t make me fall in love with you and then cast me off so you can return to New York alone.”
“Lily, I never intended…” But he had intended exactly that. He’d had so little respect for his partner he was ready to do whatever she’d allow him to do and it shamed him. “You’re right, Lily. You deserve better.”
Lily stepped outside the restaurant to stare out at the frozen lake. It had been reported that the river beyond Bennett had already given way some eight days earlier and those with the smallest boats had dragged their crafts across the thinning ice in an act that Jack called lunacy. Perhaps, but they were already under way. Even so, she was still trapped. Stuck in this frozen purgatory between Dyea and Dawson and trapped between what she wanted and what she knew would come.
Taking Jack would be her ruination. She felt it in the marrow of her bones. Yet she wanted it so badly it pulsed inside her with each beat of her heart.
Soon the two of them would be sleeping together in a narrow boat. Lily feared what would happen then. For she did not think she still had the will to say no, and she didn’t expect a man to have the will to deny his pleasure. Perhaps that was the way between man and woman, passion over common sense.
Why hadn’t she chosen that little tailor for a partner instead of this big, handsome, unattainable man?
Jack had kept his distance since she’d asked him not to shame her. But the tension between them had not lessened. All that had changed was the new awkwardness they shared as they waited their release from the ice that trapped them here.
At first, the crack sounded like a rifle shot, but then it was followed by another and another. The ground under Lily’s feet rumbled and one of the men shouted.
“The ice is breaking.”
Lily dashed toward the lake with the others. She elbowed her way through the crowd. The lake seemed alive with slabs of ice pitching and colliding. They squeaked as they scraped across each other and exploded with sharp pops as the ice snapped under forces she could not imagine.
Lily’s heart beat fast as the rumble started. Water surged through and around the thick platforms of ice, tossing them one upon the other. She scanned the shore, searching for Jack, needing to share this moment with him. She found him, eyes pinned on her as he pushed through the crowd.
“Look at it!” she called, her words lost in the rumble.
He looped his arm about her and
drew her close as they turned to watch the bottleneck of ice gathering, piling upon itself over the roar.
“That won’t last now that the water’s flowing.” His voice was a shout directly into her ear and yet she could barely make out his words.
She had not even finished nodding when the dam broke in the middle releasing a slurry of freezing water and ice down the center of the lake. Gray water foamed and frothed as it greedily snatched great slabs of ice and carried them along.
Men cheered, threw their hats and scrambled to load their boats. The break-up had come at last and the race was on again.