A soft rap on the front door startled him. It was Becca Potter. He quickly opened the door.
“Josh.” Becca sounded surprised and she seemed to be having trouble looking him in the eye. No doubt Becca knew everything. She and Elle were Lucky’s best girlfriends. “Is Lucky here?”
Josh gestured toward the closed door in the back. “She’s changing.”
“Did she find her necklace?”
“Yes. It was in the gutter.” Josh was glad to at least be privy to even that small piece of information about Lucky. Ten days without Lucky had felt like a lifetime.
“Oh.” Becca nodded and a silence fell between them.
Josh shifted uneasily for the twenty seconds or so, then finally asked, “So what have you got there?”
“A poster.” Becca seemed to shrink in on herself. “Uh, for Valentine’s Day. To advertise the cards I, uh, make.”
“Yes. Lucky told me,” Josh remembered, happy to latch onto any conversation. “Your cards. So you’re going to sell them again. That’s great. Fenelon Falls is going to have a good Valentine’s Day. I hear Elle’s running some kind of dateathon.”
“Hey, Bec,” Lucky called from the back. “I’m here. I just needed to change—” She walked toward them as she tugged down her—actually his—sweatshirt. “Is that the flier for your cards?” Lucky asked, her face delighted.
Josh felt a small flare of envy. Since he’d told her that he was closing the church, Lucky had stopped looking at him that way, and now she was Miss Sunshine, bundled in one of his sweatshirts, the necklace he’d rescued dangling in the V of the collar. He saw it was a heart and felt another burst of jealousy. Who could have given her that? He knew she wouldn’t tell him if he asked.
“No,” Becca was saying. “But I brought a poster.”
Lucky tsked. “If you made up the fliers with an order form, I could get you a whole slew of new customers.”
“Hey, you found your necklace,” Becca gently deflected Lucky’s attention.
Lucky covered the heart with her hand. “Thank goodness. I wouldn’t have felt right without it.” She studied the poster that Becca held, then nodded. “This does look great! It will do for a start. How are the art classes going?”
Becca smiled. “I love them. My students are so nice.”
“Penny Blakely is enrolled, right?” Josh asked, wanting to be part of the conversation. “Will said something about it. He really appreciates how you’re handling Penny.”
Becca flushed deep red from her neck to her forehead.
Lucky gave a short shake of her head.
“What?” Josh mouthed to her when Becca stared at the floor.
Lucky just raised her eyebrows. “Bec, if your cards are going to turn out anything like this, you’ll do a brisk business.”
“I’m beginning to think like Aunt Elle. Valentine’s Day is much too overrated,” Becca finally said. “She’s right. Cupid should be taken out.” Josh was surprised by the vehemence in her voice.
“It’s a nice time to think about the ones we love.” Josh was trying to be helpful, but that only netted himself another exasperated look from Lucky and more embarrassment from Becca.
“Don’t mind her,” Lucky said with a laugh. “She’s suffering from a serious case of Cupidious neglecticus.”
“I’m going now.” Becca headed for the door before either of them could reply. But Josh didn’t miss the meaningful glance Becca shot to Lucky. Lucky just smiled as she escorted Becca out. Once the other woman left, Lucky turned and stared at him. Her face had lost any mirth. “I don’t want to keep you, Josh. I’m sure you’ve got a lot to do.”
“I’ll give you a ride home,” he offered.
“I can walk.” Lucky shook her head as she headed for the storeroom.
Josh caught her arm. “It’s freezing outside. I’ll run you home.”
“I’ve got my jacket.” She waved at it, then looked dismayed as she took in the soggy mess.
Josh resisted the urge to laugh. “You had a jacket,” he said. “But you’re going to have to put that in the washer.” He started to take his off.
“No, you need it,” Lucky protested. “And I didn’t say I’d go with you.”
Josh ignored her and held out his coat.
She shook her head a second time.
“What? You can’t wear my coat?” he asked impatiently. “You’re already wearing my sweatshirt.”
Lucky gasped and looked down. When she raised her head, uncharacteristic meekness filled her face. “Okay,” she said and allowed him to slip it over her shoulders. It swamped her.
“I’ve still got to set the alarm,” she said.
Josh handed her the keys to his truck. “Does it still work the same?”
“Yes.”
“Your password is—”
“—my birthday,” Lucky finished. “Do you remember my birthday?”
Josh gave an impatient click of his tongue. Did she think that just because he’d refused her proposal that he’d forgotten every little thing about her? “Lucky, just go wait in the truck.”
CHAPTER TWO
Still Wednesday, January 10
LUCKY WAITED in Josh’s truck, feeling the warmth of his jacket around her. She nuzzled her face into the collar and inhaled deeply. She smelled leather and aftershave and Josh. She still couldn’t believe he was actually going to close the church. Of course, she knew things had to change. Nothing stayed the same. But Josh had always been her constant. She’d never considered life without him, without his smile when she approached or his sane reasoning when her brain worked too fast.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she scolded herself. If there was a handy wall available, she’d knock her head against it. Instead, she sat in his truck, feeling like a stranger even though the passenger seat had molded over the years to fit her rump. She looked around and saw the CDs she’d given him for his birthday, the plastic Jesus she’d stuck to his dash and the furry dice she’d hung from his rearview mirror. Jesus was frowning. See, even he knew. She opened the door, ready to slide out.
But Josh was striding in her direction, and Lucky reluctantly swung her legs back into the cab and shut the door. The truck dipped with Josh’s easy heave into the driver’s seat.
“Now you’re freezing,” Lucky commented.
“I’ll be fine.” His words were clipped.
Lucky kept her mouth shut. She’d heard the impatience in his voice. He’d always carried the woes of the world on his shoulders, felt personally responsible for them, gave and gave to the small community congregation. Could that be why he was shutting down the church? Because he thought Fenelon Falls would suck the life right out of him, if he stayed? Or that he wouldn’t have anything left to give to anyone if he kept the church open? If that was the case…
“Stupid,” Lucky muttered.
“What?” Josh glanced at her as he shifted into gear.
“Nothing.”
“You said something,” he insisted as he pulled onto the main drag and headed toward her cottage.
“Just talking to myself.” Lucky lapsed into silence. It would be better once she got home. She’d pop a frozen dinner into the microwave and spend a quiet Wednesday evening—doing what? Nothing. Even though the ride was less than five minutes, it seemed an hour had passed before he parked outside of her front door.
“That wasn’t so bad,” he commented, flashing her a quick look. He’d forced enthusiasm into his smile.
Lucky got her keys out of her pocket before opening the door. “Thanks for the ride,” she said as she slid out and shut the heavy truck door firmly. As she hurried up the walkway, she heard Josh cut the engine and get out. He must want his jacket back. She fumbled to get the key in the lock, aware that Josh was now standing very close, close enough for her to feel his breath on the back of her neck. She pushed open the door and the chill of the house hit her face. “Oh, we need heat in here.” She flipped on the lights before shrugging out of his jacket and handing it back to him.
“The heater will do fine,” she lied. The heater took a couple of hours to really get up and going. But she wasn’t about to— Too late. Josh was already crouching down, crumpling sheets of newspaper, stacking the firewood in an optimum way, as he had done for her a hundred other times. Soon, Josh had the fire crackling, and he put his hands out to warm them.
Lucky’s heart beat faster as he stood. He was like a handsome stranger she just couldn’t stop staring at.
“I have two frozen dinners.” The words came out before she could stop them.
“Is that an offer for dinner?” Josh brightened.
Lucky nodded, even though she knew it was a bad idea. “Yes.”
Josh sat down on her couch, where he could see her in the kitchen. Lucky stuck her head in the freezer, looking for two different dinners. They always shared. Her fingers worked to open the dinners from their cardboard box, and she ended up ripping the boxes, then had to piece together the instructions. Microwave or oven? Microwave would be quicker, but they wouldn’t be ready at the same time. She resigned herself to the fact that Josh was staying for a while, and set the oven to preheat, put the dinners on a cookie sheet, trying to calm down the entire time. When there was nothing else to do she walked back into the living room.
“What now?” Josh asked.
“We wait.” She’d found a clean, long-sleeve T-shirt and tossed it to him. “You might as well get comfortable.”
“Hey! This is where this went,” he accused her. “I’ve been looking for it.”
She shrugged. “Finders keepers,” she murmured and then quickly turned away as Josh stripped off his soggy dress shirt.
“Okay, turn around. I’m decent, now,” he said teasingly. “So what are your plans tonight?”
Lucky waved in the general direction of the computer in the corner of the room. “I’ve got a ton of paperwork. I’ve also got to check my eBay store. I’ve got several auctions closing tonight.”
“Okay. Don’t let me disturb you.” Josh moved to sit on the couch closest to the computer. They’d spent many an evening in exactly those positions. “You’re still doing good business?” His question was polite. He shifted to a more comfortable position, his head resting on the back of the sofa, his long legs stretched out in front of him, angled because the coffee table was in the way.
“Enough to stay open.” What a silly question. It wasn’t like Josh to ask silly questions. Horror passed through her. Surely this wasn’t some awkward warmup for a deeper conversation. She walked across the room and sat down to turn the computer on. He couldn’t want to talk about or, for goodness’ sake, process what had happened on New Year’s Eve. She was doing her best not to think about that night, about her life without Josh.
“Lucky, we need to talk.” Josh shifted again, so he could see her better as she peered at her computer screen.
“About?” She tried to make her voice light. Now would be a good time for the earth underneath her feet to open up and swallow her whole before spitting her out some volcano in Hawaii. Or Japan. She wasn’t picky.
“About the church and me and—and why…”
She could feel his eyes on her, but she wasn’t going to turn and face him. If she looked into those eyes, she would have to forgive him for doing what it was he had to do. Just the thought of the church closing made her want to cry. She clutched the little heart around her neck and zipped it up and down the chain.
Desperate to avoid the conversation she didn’t want, she asked, “So where were you coming from all dressed up like that?”
JOSH CLEARED his throat. Lucky wasn’t going to like what he had to tell her. She’d avoided him for ten days after he’d told her about closing the church. After this, she’d never talk to him again. “Do you really want to know?”
“I’m not sure.” She kept her eyes on the screen, her hand working the mouse. He wanted her to look at him, so he would know exactly how she was feeling.
“I need you to understand.”
“About?” Her voice was cautious.
“Everything, everything that’s happened since New Year’s. I need you. I need my friend.” Josh couldn’t say it any plainer than that.
Lucky was silent and finally, she swiveled her chair around and looked at him. What he saw on her face was hurt and a deep sadness that he knew he had caused.
“I can’t stand us not talking,” Josh whispered.
Lucky’s lips tightened, and she shook her head. “I can’t talk to you about this when I don’t understand it.” Her voice broke. “I know I can’t expect you to feel the same as me about us, but the church? How long have you been thinking about this? If you were so unhappy, why didn’t you say something?”
Josh grabbed her hand, surprised to find it was ice cold. He rubbed it between his two hands to warm it up. “You deserve an explanation. And it ties into the reason I’m all dressed up.”
Lucky looked at him warily, almost as if she knew it was going to be bad news.
“It’s not you,” he said hurriedly.
She didn’t look convinced.
“I was coming back from a job interview when I saw you facedown in the gutter,” Josh explained. “I thought you were dead.”
She stared at him for a half a second and then nodded for him to continue.
“It’s in Chicago.”
She frowned, her eyebrows nearly touching. Funny he was just noticing that for the first time. He wouldn’t have thought there was anything about Lucky he didn’t know.
“I’d start next month.”
Lucky still didn’t say anything.
He tightened his grip on her hand. “Please talk to me.”
“You know, those big city folks are different.” She nodded, looking pleased with herself. “So different that they’ll hate you and you won’t get the job at all,” Lucky said matter-of-factly, then added, “Of course, they’ll hate you a lot. You’re too openminded and not at all by the book. So we don’t have to worry.” She gave a sigh of relief and smiled hopefully at him.
“They offered me the position before I left.”
She smacked her lips. “There you go. A real church wouldn’t do that. Plus, it’s a long commute to Chicago. I know folks make it every day, but why would you want to do that?”
Heart pounding in his ears, he gave her another piece of information. “I wouldn’t commute.”
“Not commute?”
“No, I’d move to Chicago.”
She yanked her hand out of his and shook her head. “No. You’re not telling me this.” She put her hands over her ears as if that action could stop any more bad news hurtling her way. He knew he was hurting her. They’d been tied to each other for more years than he could count. This move would hurt them both. But he had to do it and he wanted her approval. He wanted her to be happy for him. His next words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
“I took the job, Luck.”
Lucky got up from the chair and walked into the kitchen.
LUCKY COULDN’T be hearing what she was hearing. She suppressed the urge to burst into tears. Closing the church was bad enough, but leaving? It was unthinkable. Josh couldn’t leave, much less move to Chicago. She stared at the frozen dinners, still frozen and sitting on the cookie sheet.
“It helps if you put them in,” Josh said from the doorway.
“I was preheating the oven,” she retorted as she opened the oven door and pushed the dinners in. She set the timer and said over her shoulder, “If you’re hungry, my feelings won’t be hurt if you leave.”
“Ah, Luck.” Josh’s voice was tinged with regret. He touched her arm and she flinched. But he pulled her into a deep hug anyway. For several moments they remained still. Lucky felt the hard plane of his chest against her cheek, smelled fabric softener in his shirt and wished time would stop. Then she g
ently pushed herself away from him.
“Was it the proposal?” She had to ask. She would never forgive herself if her proposal was the reason he suddenly wanted to live in Chicago. “Was it too weird? I mean I can change churches and we can pretend to be strangers—”
“No!”
His emphatic tone was reassuring, but not in the way she wanted.
“It’s not you,” Josh reassured her. “I told you that.”
“Then what is it?” Fenelon Falls had everything anyone could want, unless of course he or she wanted cultural events, a major sports team or a big shopping mall. But other than that, the little town had people who would embrace a stranger and made sure that no one was ever hungry or cold. Josh hadn’t shown any interest in opera or sports—except the local high school football team, which he supported wholeheartedly.
“You remember my seminary friends?” Josh began. He didn’t look at her when he said this.
“Yeah, Joe and Paul.” The rock in her chest thudded down to her stomach. She knew about Joe and Paul. They were missionaries, who had dedicated their lives to helping the needy. They traveled to other countries, building new schools, tending to the sick, digging wells for fresh water.
“You know where they are now?”
She knew exactly where they were. But she couldn’t believe the conversation was going in this direction. “Wasn’t Joe in Somalia?” she remarked.
He nodded. “And Paul?”
“The last you said he was in Mongolia.” It was sounding worse and worse.
“And remember I told you about Amanda—”
“Your old girlfriend.”
“She’s in South America with her husband.”
“And?”
He looked away, as if he didn’t want to voice the words.
“And?” Surely he wasn’t going to say what she knew he was going to say. She couldn’t bear it. She stepped back putting some distance between them, crossed her arms over her chest and asked a third time, “And?”
“And I’m in Fenelon Falls.”
CHAPTER THREE
LUCKY COULD ONLY STARE at Josh. Her mind was whirling, not accepting what he was saying. After a minute, she croaked, “What’s wrong with Fenelon Falls?”
Who Needs Cupid? Page 18