He went out the door while Tessa thoughtfully stared after him. When Claudia had died so suddenly, Orin had considered his life over. He’d turned into a recluse and begun behaving as though he was an old man instead of a robust rancher, capable of keeping up with his sons. It wasn’t until Rafe and Lilly had fallen in love and married that something inside Orin had woken up.
It’s never too late to love. Oh, how she’d grown to realize the truth of those words.
With that thought in mind, she carried her phone to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the white bed where she and Joseph had shared a passion so deep she would carry the memories the rest of her life.
Her hands shaking, she scrolled through her contacts until she reached Joseph’s number. But just as her finger was about to push the call button, Orin called out loudly.
“Tessa, come here! Quick!”
The urgency in his voice had her tossing the phone onto the bed and racing out of the room. As she hurried down the hallway, he suddenly stepped from Ray’s old room, causing her to nearly barrel straight into him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Are you getting ill?”
“I’m okay.” Without saying more, he took her by the arm and led her into the living room. “I was putting my empty bag on the top shelf in the closet and found something.”
Relieved and a bit bewildered, she shook her head. “Let me guess. A dead mouse. Since the house was empty for a while I—”
Shaking his head, he said, “Nothing like that, honey. Come over here. Where we can sit.”
He led her over to the couch where the open drapes shed plenty of light into the room. It wasn’t until the two of them were sitting that she noticed he was holding a manila envelope in his hand.
“That’s what you found? What is it? Old photos?”
A strange expression on his face, he handed it to her. “More than photos. I think this holds the answers you’ve been looking for.”
Totally confused, she began to pull the contents from the envelope. “I don’t understand, Orin. This stuff—” She stopped in stunned silence as a single sheet of thick paper fell open on her lap. It was a marriage license issued in the State of Nevada to Monica Simmons Parker and Asa Hamilton Parker. The document was an exact duplicate of her mother’s marriage license! But how did it get here in Ray’s house?
She stared at Orin as her mind spun for reasonable explanations. “This doesn’t make sense! Why would Ray have a copy of my mother’s marriage license? Unless—”
He gestured to the papers lying in her lap. “Maybe you should look everything over before you start making assumptions.”
“Right—yes.” Her hands shaking, she sifted through the remaining items. A photo very similar to those that she’d given Joseph to examine. A copy of Tessa’s birth certificate. And a sealed white envelope with her name handwritten across the front. Like pieces of an abstract puzzle, she tried to assemble them in her jumbled thoughts.
“Why was this stuff hidden away on a shelf in the closet?” In a dazed stupor, she continued to stare at the papers that documented her life. The fact that Ray possessed these things could only mean one thing. Yet the reality was slow to settle in her mind. “Why hadn’t it been left in Ray’s desk where I could easily find it?”
“I figure the man didn’t want just anyone finding these things,” Orin said carefully. “At least, not until you found them first.”
Her hands shook as she tore into the envelope and extracted two sheets of lined notepaper. “It’s a handwritten letter,” she whispered numbly. “To me. From Ray.”
Her voice quivered as she began to read out loud.
“‘My dearest Tessa,
By the time you read this letter I will be gone from this earth and you will be on the Bar X. It grieves me deeply that I can’t be there with you. I’ll never feel the joy of talking with you, seeing you smile, or feeling your hand reach for mine. Still, I can die a happy man knowing I have a daughter who’s grown into a lovely, responsible woman.
“‘I’m sure you have many questions as to why I never made an appearance in your life and why Monica, your mother, told you I had died before you were born. First and foremost, please try not to judge her harshly. The two of us met by happenstance and I was so instantly besotted with her I couldn’t reveal that I was already married to Dottie. Instead, I married Monica using the assumed name of Asa Parker. It wasn’t until she was pregnant with you that I realized I had to confess.
“‘Naturally, the truth angered and disappointed her, but she loved me in spite of everything. And I continued to love her, even though, I never saw her again...’”
Too choked with tears to continue reading, she handed the letter to Orin. “Please finish it for me. I can’t.”
Orin gruffly cleared his throat and picked up where Tessa had left off.
“‘...after the night I visited her in the hospital—when she’d given birth to you. You see, my darling daughter, your mother was a wise and wonderful woman. She understood that neither of us could live with our consciences if I deserted Dottie to be with her. Therefore, over the years, she sent photos and letters of you, as a way for me to keep up with my daughter’s growth. Yet, all the while, my heart yearned to be the father you needed.
“‘When Monica died so suddenly, my first urge was to make myself known to you and bring you home with me. Although Dottie never learned about your existence, I’m very certain she would’ve welcomed you with loving arms and made you the child she could never bear. I was making plans to go to Nevada when I received the news that you’d been taken in by the Calhouns, a family that could give you so much more than I ever could. And now as I fight this disease that is taking me away, I believe I made the right choice in letting you continue to believe Asa Parker was dead. Those were your important growing years and I wanted you to have the stability the Calhouns could provide.
“‘My greatest wish now is that the Bar X will give you as much pleasure as it has given me. And that someday you will come to realize how very much I loved you.
“‘Your father,
“‘Ray’”
As Orin slowly closed the letter, Tessa began to sob.
“Oh, Orin, all these years. I had a father—and now he’s gone. I can’t bring him back!” Every part of her was aching with regret and a sense of utter loss. Not just for all that she’d missed, but also for her parents, who’d made the lonely sacrifice to spend their lives apart. “Why didn’t my mother tell me?”
Lying the letter aside, Orin drew her into the comforting circle of his arms and Tessa buried her face against his strong shoulder and continued to cry.
“Your mother couldn’t tell you, Tessa.” Orin spoke gently. “She wanted you to believe your father was a hero. And as far as I’m concerned, Ray Maddox was a hero. It takes a big man to give up the things he loves most. Why else do you think I let you come down here to Arizona without putting up a big fight?”
The gruff affection in his voice brought even more tears to her eyes. “I love you, too, Orin,” she finally managed to choke out.
“Tessa! What is this?”
The unexpected sound of Joseph’s voice had Tessa pulling away from Orin’s embrace and jumping to her feet.
Using the back of her hand, she attempted to dash the tears from her cheeks. “Joseph! What...are you doing here?”
His skeptical gaze swung to Orin then back to Tessa’s tear-stained face. “I rang the doorbell but apparently you didn’t hear it. What’s wrong? Who is this man?”
The shock of Joseph’s arrival was enough to stem her sobs and as she wiped at the last of her tears, she walked over to him.
“This is Orin Calhoun.” She gestured to Orin, who was now rising from the couch. “He’s my—Nevada father.”
Joseph looked dumbfounded but managed to give Orin a polite nod. “Nice to meet you, sir.”<
br />
He walked over to Joseph and extended his hand. “I’m certainly happy to see you, Deputy Hollister. You couldn’t have arrived at a better time.”
Looking even more confused, Joseph shook the other man’s hand. “Maybe one of you should explain what’s going on. Have you gotten bad news?”
Orin cast Tessa a gentle smile before he stepped over and collected Ray’s letter from the coffee table. “I wouldn’t call it bad,” he said as he handed the folded paper to Joseph. “I found this earlier in the closet of Ray’s bedroom.”
“Please read it, Joseph.” Tessa spoke, her voice hoarse with raw emotion. “It...explains everything.”
Joseph unfolded the letter and began to read. As Tessa watched, she could see he was deeply affected by Ray’s revelations. The man had been his mentor and longtime friend. The fact that Ray had hidden such a deep secret was probably even more shocking to him than to Tessa.
“This is incredible!” He shook his head in disbelief. “I had my suspicions that Ray might be Tessa’s father, but when I tried to imagine my old friend holding such a secret—it seemed impossible. But now this letter makes everything clear.”
Tessa collected the photo and other documents from the coffee table and handed them to Joseph. “These things were with the letter. The photo is almost like the ones I gave you.”
He glanced through the items before turning his focus on her. “I brought the photos with me, but I left them in the truck,” he admitted. “After my friend in the crime lab cleared them up...well, I could see the man was a young Ray Maddox. I didn’t know how to tell you, Tessa, or how you would take the news.”
Even though there were a few steps separating them, she couldn’t mistake the warm, tender love she saw in his eyes. The sight of it propelled her closer to him.
“Is that why you’re here, Joseph? To give me the photos?”
“No.” He glanced uncomfortably at Orin. “I, uh, thought we needed to talk.”
Orin cleared his throat. “You two don’t mind me. I’ll be in the bedroom.”
He slipped quietly from the room and, for a moment after he disappeared from view, Tessa thought she was going to start crying again. Her nerves were on a roller coaster and she realized the highs and lows would never end until she learned what was in Joseph’s heart.
Her legs too shaky to continue standing, she walked over to the couch and sank onto the middle cushion. “I had picked up the phone to call you when Orin found the letter,” she admitted.
He moved over to the couch and eased gently down beside her. Tessa’s first instinct was to throw herself at him, to hold him tight and never let him go. But there were so many things that needed to be said, so much to explain.
“I came by earlier this morning,” he told her. “I couldn’t find anyone around.”
She sighed with regret. “I’m sorry we missed you. Sam and Orin and I were driving over the ranch looking over the grazing and water supply. Orin has agreed to stay on a few days to help us get the ranch restocked and going again.”
The surprise on his face was almost comical. “Restocked? You mean you’re going to make the Bar X a working ranch again?”
For the first time in days, a genuine smile came over her face. “I sure do mean it. Sam is going to oversee everything. And, of course, I’ll be around to help, too.”
His hands closed around her shoulders as his eyes delved into hers. “Tessa, only days ago you told me you didn’t know what you were going to do about staying here or going back to Nevada! Am I supposed to believe—”
“This isn’t some sudden decision, Joseph, although it probably looks like it to you. I think I’ve known from the very first moment I stepped foot on the Bar X that I would never be able to leave it. But that night—when we argued—I was afraid to admit that to myself, much less you. All that time we were together you never mentioned anything about loving me. I tried to tell myself it would be better if I went back to Nevada and forgot you. But I can’t do that. I can’t leave this wonderful home my father gave me. And, most of all, I can’t leave you. Even if you don’t love me.”
With a rueful groan, he pulled her against him then wrapped his arms so tightly around her she could scarcely breathe, much less move.
“Oh, Tessa, I’ve been a fool. I should have told you how I really felt. But you never said anything about love and my pride kept holding me back. That and the fear that you had no real intentions of staying here permanently. Then when you told me about Jett’s job offer, I sort of went into panic mode. I was sure I was going to lose you. That night we argued, I hardly knew what I was saying. But I realize now that everything I said was wrong. Can you ever forgive me? Trust me?”
Tilting her face up to his, she hoped the magnitude of love she felt for him was there in her eyes for him to see.
“We were both afraid of getting hurt,” she whispered. “But that’s all gone and forgotten now, Joseph. All that matters is this moment and our future. My parents didn’t get to spend their lives together. But maybe I can make up for that in a little way by living the rest of mine with the man I love.”
He lowered his lips to hers.
As he kissed her deeply, joy flowed through Tessa until she felt as though her whole body, including her bruised heart, was flooded with happy sunshine.
“Looks like I have a penchant for picking the wrong place and time to show you how much I love you, but I promise I’ll make it up to you later.” Drawing her hand to his lips, he kissed the backs of her fingers. “Will you marry me, Tessa? Will you be my wife? The mother of my children?”
More tears spilled from her eyes, only this time they were created from the sheer joy bubbling inside her.
“Yes! Yes!” She planted kisses all over his face. Then, easing back, she gave him an impish smile. “Unless you think you need more time to make sure I’m putting down my roots here on the Bar X.”
Chuckling low in his throat, he nuzzled his lips against her cheek. “There isn’t going to be any waiting. I’m going to put a ring on your finger as fast as I can.”
Orin’s earlier plans for the evening suddenly came to her mind. “Orin is taking Sam and me out to dinner tonight. I think it would be the perfect chance to celebrate our engagement. Can you join us?”
The tender smile on his lips and soft glow in his eyes said he’d pluck a star from the sky and hand it to her on a silver platter if that’s what her heart desired.
“I haven’t slept in about twenty hours, but I’m so happy I’ll never know the difference.”
Pressing her damp cheek next to his, she closed her eyes and hugged him tight. “Happy, yes. Together, always.”
Epilogue
Eight months later, on a cold, February night, the Hollisters plus a few close friends were gathered in the big living room of Three Rivers Ranch house to celebrate the beginning of the annual Gold Rush Days festival that would kick off in downtown Wickenburg tomorrow.
At least, that was the excuse Maureen was giving everyone for the dinner party. But the Hollister matriarch wasn’t fooling anyone, especially Joseph and Tessa. The real reason for the get-together was to celebrate the exciting news that Tessa was pregnant. For the first time since Hannah was born eleven years ago, a new baby would soon be joining the Hollister family.
As Tessa stood next to the fireplace, soaking up the warmth from the burning mesquite logs, Joseph walked up and handed her a fluted glass of ginger ale and a small saucer holding a cluster of chocolate-covered walnuts drizzled with gold-colored icing.
“Reeva says it will be a few more minutes until dinner is ready. I thought you might like to try her gold nuggets—that’s what she calls them. She makes these every year when Gold Rush Days roll around.”
“Yum! Thank you, Joseph. I am famished.”
“Why don’t you sit down, honey?” he suggested. “There’s a big, empty chair ri
ght over there by Sam and Mom. You need to rest before we have dinner.”
Laughing softly, she bit into the sweet treat then washed it down with a sip of her drink. “I’m only eight weeks along, Joseph. When the baby starts growing and getting heavier, I’ll probably be hunting the first chair I can find. But right now, the fire feels wonderful.”
Lowering his head to hers, he murmured in a suggestive tone, “Folks around here are saying how cold this winter has been. But I haven’t really noticed. Have you?”
Her muted laughter put a grin on his face. “I’d call it the warmest winter on record. We’ve hardly had to use the heater at our house.”
His grin deepening, he slipped an arm around the back of her waist and nuzzled his nose against the top of her hair. “Happy?” he asked softly.
She tilted her face up to his. “A year ago, I was working as a housekeeper on the Silver Horn. I thought my life was about to change because I was finishing my criminal justice degree and planning to find a new job. Wow! Talk about change. Now I’m a married woman with a baby on the way. Not to mention the owner of a thriving ranch.”
“Well, a year ago you were right about two things. You did get your degree and you did find a job as legal secretary for Mr. Dayton in his Wickenburg law office.”
Since she’d taken the job three months ago, each day had been a learning experience about the intricate dealings of the legal system. Plus, Mr. Dayton was an elderly gentleman who was a pleasure to work with. Only yesterday she’d told him about her pregnancy and already he’d been assuring her she could take as much maternity leave as she needed. As for the Bar X, Sam was doing an admirable job seeing that every aspect of the ranch was working and producing as it should. And soon their first crop of calves would be born.
Her soft laugh conveyed just how amazed she was by the changes in her life. “Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d be inheriting a ranch like the Bar X and marrying the sexiest deputy in all of Arizona.”
His fingers tightened possessively on the side of her waist. “Just in Arizona? Geez, I must be slipping,” he joked. “I thought I was easily the sexiest in three states.”
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