Nicky walked past the fabric showroom on Fifty-seventh and Third. They had chosen the fabric for their drapes and bedspreads there. Their apartment was a showcase. Nicky felt a shiver go up his spine. What had happened? Whatever the reason, he’d blocked it. As he walked along, he couldn’t help but come to a conclusion: he always seemed to destroy the happiest times of his life. Maybe it was because he didn’t trust the happiness he felt. He’d hurt Peter because he’d been jealous of someone Peter was working with. He’d been scared of getting hurt himself. Too bad he didn’t realize it then. He wondered if he’d ever be able to handle happiness? He didn’t know. Now Peter was dead. Death was so final. He’d fantasized about death with Steve when they watched snuff movies together. Now the thought scared him.
The way Peter died still didn’t make sense to him. He’d always been the one to put down drugs. Nicky had never been as clean as when he was with him. They had their big fight when Nicky wanted to try poppers and a downer while making love, and Peter refused. Nicky went out and picked up a trick. He brought him home and they fucked all night. Peter left—packed a small bag and left, just like that. Nicky hadn’t expected it. When he came back the next night, Nicky’s jealousy turned to pride and he wouldn’t apologize. He’d wanted to; he had wanted their world back, but he’d destroyed it. He found a lot more tricks after that, and Peter never touched him again.
“What a fucked-up schmuck I am. If only...if only don’t count, baby!”
CHAPTER 15
Here and There
He passed the Victoria Hotel, a little jewel of a place that New Yorkers keep to themselves, and he remembered the piano bar where the two of them had spent so many wonderful evenings. It was one of those, you have to know about it places owned by a chic dyke who attracted the Hampton set as well as the rich gay crowd. He walked in, and just as before, a fellow was playing show tunes at the piano bar and people were sitting around singing in harmony, enjoying the game of who knows the lyrics to the most obscure show tune.
He walked over to the bar where Trudy, the owner was pouring drinks. She saw him, stopped what she was doing, and ran over to him.
“Nicky, what a wonderful surprise. When did you get in?”
“Just tonight. Trudy you look fantastic. Things must be good.”
It was true, she looked great. She must have had another lift.
“No complaints. I suppose you heard about Peter?”
“Yeah, I still can’t believe it. It’s not his style.”
“We all thought the same thing. In fact it’s been the hot topic all
night. Did you hear what happened at Karen’s?”
“Were you there?”
“Yeah. Everyone and his uncle was there. It was a bad scene. I blame a lot of it on the coke Karen’s into. I mean, it was way over the top. Ridiculous. By the way, your babe is beautiful. Have you seen her?”
“Yeah, we were having dinner when I heard about Peter.”
Nicky was talking, but his mind was somewhere else, remembering what Karen had said that night on the phone. Something about dealing with Peter. He knew she was capable of having someone permanently disappear. She’d done it before. From what he’d heard, it didn’t even cost that much. Not that money would make any difference to her anyway.
“Come on, Nicky, have a drink.”
“Make it Scotch on the rocks. Sorry Tru, I’m really down.”
“I’m hip. Peter was a special guy. What are your plans? Are you going through with the marriage thing?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess so.”
“It would be good for your career.”
He looked around. Most of the people in that room would accept his getting married for no other reason than a worldwide publicity stunt with no problem. It was the Val thing that had complicated everything. Trudy broke into his thoughts.
“How long are you going to be in town?”
“A couple of weeks. I have to do some location shots for my new series.”
“Wow, congratulations! A series. That’s fabulous news. Isn’t it strange? I mean look at us! I always get so involved with living when I hear of someone dying. I get this desperate feeling that I have to live every moment to the fullest.”
“I know what you mean. That’s why I had to take a walk. It was punch someone out or go for a walk.”
Trudy lifted her glass.
“Let’s drink to life. To life in the fullest with as much happiness as we can get.”
“I’ll drink to that. You’re something else, Tru. I’m glad I stopped in.”
“Hey, what are friends for?”
“Listen babe, I have to make a call. Where’s the phone?”
“Use the one in my office, through that door over there.”
He kissed her lightly on the cheek and went to her office to call Val, when he realized he didn’t know her unlisted number. He’d have to get it from Karen. Her phone picked up in half a ring.
“Hello.”
“Hi, it’s Nicky.”
“Where the fuck are you?”
“Walking.”
“I know you heard about Peter.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I called you to get Val’s number.”
“Are you going there?”
He answered her, but what he really wanted to tell her was to fuck off, and it was none of her goddamn business.
“I think so.”
“Good. That’s what you should do.”
“I don’t care what you think I should do.”
“Stop right there, Mr. Venuti. We’re a team, whether you like it or not, and don’t forget it.”
“Okay. Just give me the goddamn number.”
“Val’s upset, so get over there pronto. Here’s the number, Plaza 6-4535. Call me tomorrow. Early.”
A saccharine voice answered his call.
“Hello, Mrs. Rhodes here.”
“Hi, it’s Nicky. Let me speak to Val.”
“One moment, I’ll see if she’s available.”
Available? What the fuck did that mean?
“Where are you, darling? Are you all right?”
“Sure, I’m fine. I just had to take a walk and think things out.”
“As long as you’re okay. Are you coming here?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there soon.”
“Are you far away?”
He laughed.
“No. Just a few blocks.”
“Hurry up.”
He made his way back to the crowded bar.
“Well, well, look who’s here.”
The man who had spoken was Marty Cushman. How weird was that? Nicky had just thought of him earlier and there he was. That meant good karma to Nicky! Marty had his arm around a pretty young boy as per usual. Nothing had changed.
“You’re still as beautiful as ever, Nicky darling. Dare I introduce you to my newest discovery? Oh that’s right, I forgot, you’re going straight this year.”
Everyone within earshot laughed, including Nicky.
“That’s right.”
“I, for one, am thrilled. Less competition for me. Have a drink with us, darling.”
“Sorry, Marty I have to go. The little lady’s waiting.”
“If I hadn’t been here in person to hear you say that, I would never in a million years believe what just came out of your mouth. Just remember, Nicky dear, you can go gaily forward instead of straight, and that way leave yourself a few options.”
“I like that Marty. My old friend, you always gave good advice.”
Marty kissed the boy with him.
“Listen to him, my sweet.”
Nicky hugged him, and they said their good-byes, each insisting they stay in touch.
It was too cold to walk. He found a cab, gave the driver Val’s address, sank back, and deeply inhaled his cigarette still laughing at what Marty had said.
“Gaily forward, that’s a good one. Trust old Marty to come up with something like that. Truth is, I do lik
e options.”
CHAPTER 16
Time Out
Val met him at the door and they kissed casually. He hung his coat in the closet, then poured himself a Scotch.
“Jesus I’m tired. Where’s the old lady?”
Val put her hand over his mouth.
“Shush. Don’t call her that, silly. I think she’s sleeping.”
“Thank God. I can’t handle her right now.”
“I wish we were in our own place. Are we ever going to be alone?”
“Not now, Val. Okay?”
“I’m sorry. It just slipped out. I don’t want to get heavy. I’m getting the crazies that’s all. I’ve never craved privacy before. I don’t think I ever thought about it. It’s because I want you so much right now. Every part of me wants to feel you.”
She stopped for a second, nearly embarrassed by her admission. Nicky grabbed her roughly and kissed her. They slipped from the couch to the floor. She gasped.
“Right now. Right here.”
“What about the old lady?”
“Fuck the old lady.”
She pulled her sweater over her head, and started to unzip her pants. He joined her in the race to get their clothes off. He was kneeling there with nothing on, looking at her lying on the carpet. That little body of hers drove him wild. She was built like a young boy with boobs. He couldn’t hide or deny his excitement. His cock was standing up like a flagstaff. She suddenly sat up and took it in her mouth. She had eaten him before but never so aggressively. Her mouth felt marvelous. He pulled away from her, threw her back on the carpet, and banged into her. She gasped for air and whimpered.
“Nicky you’re hurting me.”
He seemed to come back from somewhere else.
“I’m sorry, honey. I lost it.”
“I’m coming, Nicky, I’m coming.”
She screamed in a whisper as her whole body convulsed.
He rolled onto his back and she sat across him. He liked that position. He was as deep inside her as he could possibly get. Each time he moved, she winced. He rolled her over. Lying on her stomach, from behind it could have been Steve. They had the same narrow hips and the same white skin. He exploded in his own fantasy of having both of them in bed. What a threesome that would be. Val jumped up and grabbed her clothes.
“I’d better go to the bathroom before I leak all over Mummy’s oriental rug.”
Nicky pulled on his shorts, put on his shirt, flopped on the couch, and lit a cigarette. Life wasn’t all bad. In fact right there, right then, it was A-O-K. He put on the TV. There was always a movie somewhere on the tube. He found an oldie. Sabu in the jungle with all his elephants, and he smiled to himself. Now there’s a queen who really got away with murder.
Val’s script was lying on the couch and he started to flip through it. It was definitely a major production. If it was a hit, she was going to be tied up for quite a while. Wild! All he had to do was pray for a hit. Val came back looking nearly shy.
“My love, I’m in paradise right now, but before it gets invaded, may I suggest you go and put something on?”
He went to the den and shouted, “I’m gonna take a quick shower.”
“Shh.”
She ran down the hall into the room.
“You’ll wake Mother.”
He made a typical Italian gesture as he disappeared into the bathroom laughing. Val pulled down the convertible couch and got under the covers. She was nearly asleep when Nicky came in wrapped in a towel.
“Hey babe, don’t you think you’d better go in the other room?”
“No, I’m sleeping here with you.”
“Won’t that cause more hassles?”
“I don’t care. She must know we make love.”
“I think you’re wrong there.” He laughed. “I don’t think your mother ever thinks of people making love, especially you.”
Val thought back to earlier that night when her mother had cried and admitted to being in love. Then she looked at Nicky with his wet hair and handsome face and nothing else mattered.
“I can’t bear the thought of leaving you. I just have to wake up with you in the morning.”
“Hey, it’s up to you.”
“Good, then come here you gorgeous creature. I want to cuddle.”
“You got it, baby.”
He slipped in beside her. She kissed him lightly on the cheek, snuggled down into a comfortable space under his arm, and was asleep almost immediately. Nicky lay in the darkness listening to her breathe.
What a day. What a life! At least he was alive. Had Karen pulled off the perfect crime? It would be hard to pin anything on her. She always covered her ass so well. He wished to Christ he wasn’t involved with her in any way. But beggars couldn’t be choosers. He promised himself one day he wouldn’t need her connections or her bread. He’d talk to his old friend Marco, Salvatore’s son. He always knew what was going down. He had connections all over the city.
His own world was just too damn small; that was his problem.
CHAPTER 17
Saturday Morning
Morning didn’t bring the expected scene from Anne. Val got up, crept into the hall, and found her mother’s door still closed. She quietly opened it and there she was, propped up on two pillows and still asleep. Relieved, Val went to the kitchen and put the kettle on for tea before returning to Nicky. He had rolled over and was spread full across the bed still asleep. She slowly lifted the sheet and kissed him at the nape of the neck, then continued kissing him down his spine. He stirred, turned his head, and smiled.
“Hey, what’s goin’ on?”
“Just waking you up, my love,” she answered, barely stopping with her tongue.
“That’s the understatement of the year!”
He turned over and she found herself facing what she had woken up. Without hesitation she put as much of him in her mouth as she could, and let him slide down her throat. He groaned and just lay there in ecstasy. She really loved to eat him. She couldn’t get enough of him. She felt herself getting wet. When she ate him like that it was as good as getting fucked.
All of a sudden the kettle started to whistle. The piercing noise was so insistent it couldn’t be ignored. He gasped as she took her mouth away, and he rolled over laughing. She ran to the kitchen. The noise had woken her mother who appeared in the kitchen not knowing what to expect.
“What are you doing Valerie? Didn’t you sleep well?”
She didn’t want to look her mother in the eye so kept busy with the teapot.
“Very well Mummy. Just fancied a cup of tea, that’s all. How about you?”
“That’s a good idea. I just can’t get used to seeing you up first, and making tea at that.”
Val couldn’t tell whether her mother knew she hadn’t slept in her bed. But if her mother wanted to ignore the whole thing as usual, Val was thrilled to let her play ostrich.
It was par for the course for Anne Rhodes to pretend something didn’t exist, especially if it offended her. That quirk that made Val so angry, so often, was now a gift sent from heaven.
Poor Nicky! She made the tea, racking her brain trying to figure out where and when they’d be able to sneak a few minutes alone.
“Wake up, darling its teatime.”
He half turned his head, looked at her out of one eye, and hissed through his teeth like a Bogart gangster.
“Close the fucking door and get back here. Now!”
She smiled and mouthed the words, Mother’s up.
He put his fist in the air, waved it toward the kitchen, and rattled off something in Italian.
“I promise, before the day is through, I’ll make it up to you.”
“You’re on. It’s just a question of how do I walk around all day with a hard-on?”
Val burst out laughing.
“Crude and rude, but very descriptive, I must say. I suppose I have to learn not to start things I can’t finish.”
Both in terrific humor, they sat on the bed drinkin
g tea.
“What’s on our agenda today?”
“I thought I’d call my Ma and plan on us going there tomorrow.”
“I’m so excited about that. For some strange reason I’d never thought of you with a close family. Just think, I’m going to have a mother-in-law. Isn’t that wild?”
“I can’t promise you wildness, but my mom happens to be wonderful.”
“I hope she likes me.”
“She will. What’s not to like?”
Val leaned over and kissed him.
“I love you, Mr. Venuti.”
He smiled. “What about your old lady?”
“For some strange reason she isn’t saying anything. I think she’s just going to ignore the fact that we slept together. I’m thrilled about it, and I’m not saying anything either.”
“Great. We have enough to deal with.”
“You know I nearly forgot all the hideousness out there. Do we have to go out ever again?”
Nicky didn’t answer. Val didn’t notice.
“I feel like being lazy today. I don’t want to get dressed or put on makeup or chat with anyone. And I do have to go over my script. It’s hard to believe, but I start rehearsals on Monday. I’m a bit nervous. I’m much more used to film. By the by, have you spoken to your agent since you’ve been here?”
“Not yet. He thinks I’m coming in on Monday. I’m not gonna bother till then.”
“Do you think they’ll have a big première when our movie comes out?”
“As far as I know, yea. Why?”
“I was just thinking, you’ll have to come back into town for it.”
“You’re something else. I’m here now; I’m gonna be here for a couple of weeks, and you already have me back here again.”
“You know what I mean. I can’t help thinking how lonely I’m going to be when you go back to L.A.”
Nicky took her hand. “I’ve said all this before. It’s our time. Now! We have to make the most of it. We’re hot! Okay?”
She nodded with her eyes downcast.
“You’re gonna have the show. It’s a full-time job. You don’t have any idea what it’s like doing eight shows a week. It’s a killer. What kind of contract did you get?”
Murder! Hollywood Style Page 9