Libby picked up the robe and a nightgown, then went into the bathroom and turned on the water in the bathtub. She added a few drops of bath oil to the hot water and was soon immersed in the spice-scented water.
“You better not be peeking, Matthias,” she called out.
This time there was no answer.
After her bath, she cleansed her face and slipped on her nightgown and robe. By the time she settled herself under the covers, she felt her eyelids drooping and her body relaxing.
“I don’t care, it still has to be a dream,” she murmured sleepily, curling up on her side. As she fell into a deep sleep, a lone tear gathered at the corner of her eye and silently slipped down her cheek.
LIBBY, YOU HAVE TO wake up. It wouldn’t be good form to show up late on your first day of work.
“Don’t be mean, Tyler. Let me sleep,” she murmured, burrowing under the warm covers. As soon as the words left her mouth she realized the voice she’d heard wasn’t her husband’s. Then she knew she also wasn’t lying in her own bed. She opened one eye to find Matthias sitting in the chair.
“How can I get up?” she asked him. “It’s so cold in here I’m likely to turn into a Popsicle.” At that instant, she could hear the heater switch on. “Now if you’ll just go away for about an hour…” she suggested.
“Of course.” In the blink of an eye, he was gone.
Libby took several deep breaths.
“This has to be a dream,” she muttered, grabbing her robe and shrugging into it.
Within the appointed hour she showered and put on her makeup. The lipsticks in the cosmetic bag were brighter than she usually wore, but she couldn’t fault with how the one she’d chosen looked on her. It wasn’t until she had a chance to study her choice of clothing that she felt anger at the entity sent to change her life.
“What is this?” she demanded, holding up a black-and-cream plaid skirt that ended well above her knees. Since there was no answer, she paired the skirt with a red sweater and black opaque tights and black flats. As she studied her reflection in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door, she realized she was dressed the way she used to dress more than a year ago.
“That is much better than those grandmotherly dresses you were wearing,” Matthias pronounced as he popped back in.
“Calf-length dresses are in style,” she said, refusing to admit she did look better in a shorter skirt. She found red button earrings and a gold chain with an onyx pendant to match the bright red sweater.
“Are you ready for breakfast?”
“Why, are you joining me?”
“Food is not necessary for my existence. But I will see you again. Here is where you will be working. I’m sure you will have no problem adjusting to your new job.” He handed her a piece of paper and disappeared.
“Wonderful. He provides clothes, lodging and a job,” Libby murmured as she looked down at the paper. Her face turned white as she read the words.
“No, please,” she moaned, dropping onto the end of the bed. If she wanted Matthias to reappear and explain how he could do such a horrible thing to her, she was out of luck. There was only silence. It took her several moments to rouse herself and leave the room.
As Libby stepped outside, a familiar voice sounded inside her head.
The blue Maxima is yours.
“It better have a full tank of gas.” She found the keys in her purse and unlocked the driver’s door.
Naturally, it has a full tank. I wouldn’t give you anything else.
Libby drove to a coffee shop she knew well. At least, one she remembered well. Except she noticed Maxine’s now had red-and-white striped awnings in front instead of the homey blue-and-white gingham curtains. Inside was more familiar, with most of the tables and booths filled and waitresses scurrying to fill orders.
Libby’s face lit up and she opened her mouth to greet Maxine, the owner, but the woman merely offered her a smile.
“Just one, honey?”
Libby gave her a jerky nod.
“Let’s find you a nice table.” Maxine led the way toward the rear of the restaurant. She gestured to a chair and handed Libby a menu after she’d sat down. “Would you like coffee?”
Libby nodded and coughed to clear her throat. “Yes, thank you.”
“Be right back with your coffee.” Maxine took off.
Libby set her purse on an empty chair and opened the menu. As she scanned the offerings, she felt desolate and wondered if she could eat anything at all.
As I explained before, Libby, no one here knows you. You are nothing more than a perfect stranger to them.
That doesn’t mean it can’t hurt, she thought, positive speaking out loud would only cause unwanted attention.
“Here you go, hon.” Maxine set a filled cup in front of her. “Have you decided what you want?”
“I’ll have the Belgian waffle with scrambled eggs and bacon,” she murmured. “And a large glass of grapefruit juice.”
Maxine nodded as she jotted down the order. “You’re new around here, aren’t you?”
Libby nodded. “I start teaching at Miss Parker’s Preschool today.”
“That’s right, Bonnie is going on maternity leave next week. Well, darlin’, if you need anything, you just ask for Maxine.” She patted Libby’s hand before she rushed off.
Libby could feel her throat close up. I went to school with her daughter, Karen, she thought. I worked here every summer while I was in high school. Maxine was one of the first people to come see me after Sara was gone. And now she doesn’t even know me.
You wanted everyone to leave you in peace, Libby. All I did was grant your wish.
Now she truly understood the adage of being careful what you wished for.
Libby couldn’t remember ever coming in here and eating by herself. She always ran into people she knew. She would either share their table or someone would sit down with her, even if it was only to have a cup of coffee or an iced tea.
She glanced around the room and saw many familiar faces. A few looked up and offered her a pleasant, but impersonal, smile. How it hurt that she couldn’t walk up and say hello.
But that didn’t stop Libby from covertly watching Denise Watkins, who was having breakfast with her fiancé, Carl Lindsay, the manager of the hardware store. She remembered receiving their wedding invitation. She had gone to school with Denise, and years ago they had spent a lot of time together, but Libby couldn’t remember the last time she had spoken to her. She’d never even asked her about her wedding plans. And now Denise didn’t know her.
Libby pulled a paperback book out of her purse and began reading. She gave Maxine a wan smile when the woman refilled her coffee cup and again when she set her breakfast in front of her.
If I say I wish I’d never made that wish, will my life go back to normal? she asked silently.
No, Libby, it won’t. It’s too late now.
Are you saying this is a learning experience for me? She didn’t bother to hide her sarcasm.
I am a teacher. I am familiar with lessons that are meant to turn you into a better person. I can already tell you I don’t like the lesson you’ve planned for me.
Perhaps not, but I can assure you that once this is all over, you will feel better for the experience.
Now why doesn’t that thought give me comfort?
Libby finished her meal as quickly as possible. She couldn’t handle sitting there any longer watching people she knew but who obviously no longer recognized her.
Now there was only one problem. She was beginning a new job today at the last place she wanted to be.
She didn’t need to ask for directions when it was time to pay her tab and leave for work. Not when she had worked there for the past six years. Not when it was the same school she herself had gone to and always visualized her daughter attending.
Libby parked her car in the preschool parking lot and watched cars pull in and the drivers drop off their pint-size passengers. Her eyes stung with tears as
she watched little girls and boys run into the building.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered.
Of course you can.
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel as if she wished to take flight.
Go on, Libby. Go in and face your greatest fear.
Libby took several deep breaths to calm her racing pulse. Then she climbed out of the car and slowly headed for the entrance.
Chapter Four
“I’m so pleased you could come to us on such short notice, Libby. What with the holidays coming up and all.” With her low voice, constant smile and warm manner, along with her silver hair pulled back in an intricate knot and her flowery dress billowing around her calves, Regina Parker looked like every child’s dream of the perfect grandmother.
Libby couldn’t remember a time in her life when she hadn’t known Miss Parker. She had attended the preschool. She had even fallen so deeply under the older woman’s spell that her only dream was to grow up and come back to work with her. One of Libby’s happiest days was her first day teaching at the school. And how she’d loved those times when Tyler picked her up in the afternoon!
No memories now, Libby. You’re here to make new ones.
Libby wanted nothing more than to scream at Matthias—demand he appear, even. Luckily, she knew better. He’d just remain invisible and she’d look like a fool.
“I’ve heard wonderful things about your school, Miss Parker,” she said in a low voice.
“Please, call me Miss Regina. Everyone here does. Let me introduce you to your class. You’ll learn that we’re somewhat informal here. The children learn, but teaching is done with games and crafts.”
“It sounds like a wonderful way for them to learn,” Libby replied truthfully. “I’ve always believed children learn more if you make the classroom a fun place where they enjoy finding out about new things.”
Miss Parker’s face lit up. “I could tell when I read your resumé that you would be a perfect addition to our staff.” She stood up, reaching for a cane she’d been forced to use since she broke her hip the previous spring. “Now let me introduce you to your class.”
Libby could feel her smile freeze on her face as she likewise stood and followed the older woman out of the office.
Her breakfast churned alarmingly in her stomach as she walked. The scent of violets drifted in the air toward her. Libby remembered it well as Miss Regina’s trademark.
She suddenly remembered the older woman contacting her after her baby’s death. How many times had she called? How often had she urged Libby to talk to her, and all Libby could do was whisper that she couldn’t talk and quietly hang up? After some time, there’d been no more calls. Now she wished she’d allowed her mentor to draw her out. Perhaps things would have been different for her.
But you didn’t wish to talk to her, did you? You preferred to wallow all alone in your pain, as if you were the only one to have suffered so.
Libby flinched at the blunt words spoken in her mind. Her stomach clenched again when they approached the second-to-last door on the right.
From the first day she’d started teaching here, this had been her classroom. Always she had headed for this room eager to work with her students.
Miss Regina smiled and opened the door, stepping back so Libby could enter first. A heavily pregnant woman seated in a low chair was reading from a storybook. At the sound of visitors, she looked up and smiled.
Libby wanted to cry. She felt as if she was looking at her own self more than a year ago.
“All right, my babies, who’s going to help the whale out of her chair this time?” the woman said cheerfully.
“Me!”
“Me!”
Within seconds, six small children were circling the woman and carefully helping her to her feet. She gave each one a thank-you hug before turning to Miss Regina and Libby.
“I gather you’re Libby.” She smiled, holding out her hand. “I’m Bonnie Summers. As you can tell—” She patted her round tummy “—the kids are useful in helping me get to my feet. I’m to the point where I’m more than happy to spend the remaining months wallowing in a comfortable chair with my feet propped up.”
Libby had no idea how she could muster up a smile, but she did as she took Bonnie’s hand. She felt as if she was looking at herself the day she had greeted her replacement.
“Yes, I can imagine it would be easier for you,” she murmured. “When are you due?”
“In two months, but I feel as if I’ve been pregnant all my life.” Bonnie chuckled. “Let me introduce you to my crew.” She turned to the tiny faces looking up at them expectantly.
One face in the back of the group caught Libby’s attention. The little girl had strawberry blond hair pulled back in a straggly ponytail, tied with a dark green ribbon that matched the ribbon trim in her green corduroy pinafore. A sprinkling of freckles dotted her cheeks and nose. Her mouth was made for laughter, except there was no laughter on her face or in her eyes. Instead, she looked at Libby with a touch of sorrow and something else that she couldn’t read.
Libby smiled as Bonnie put names to the faces. Each child stood up when his or her name was called, and walked over to shake the new teacher’s hand.
Blake, who swaggered over and gave a quick bow at the waist before taking her hand, was obviously the class show-off. His black hair and blue eyes along with a quick grin told Libby he would be a guaranteed lady-killer in ten years.
Candi was the class pinup girl. Her pink corduroy pants and pink-and-white print knit top were as immaculate as her white tennis shoes. Her blond hair was gathered up with pink barrettes that allowed the curls to cascade down her back. Libby doubted the little girl would let even a speck of dirt to touch her.
Troy was self-important, sure to grow up to be the next mover and shaker in the business world. Little Lisa was the bouncy cheerleader type, and Libby knew she would find the girl a wonderful helpmate in the class. Josh was obviously the one who loved to make trouble. The tear in his jeans bore witness to his latest brush with adventure.
Bonnie also pointed out Danny, Tisha, Kenny, Lisa and a few other children, but it was still the little girl in the back that Libby’s attention kept wandering to. Since she didn’t come forward, Libby finally walked over to her and crouched down.
“And who are you?” she asked in a soft voice.
The girl offered her a shy smile and whispered, “Becca.”
“Becca,” she repeated. She touched the girl’s nose with her finger. “Becca with freckles.”
Becca giggled. “Mrs. Robinson says they’re angel kisses.”
“And who’s Mrs. Robinson?”
“She takes care of me, since I don’t have a mommy or daddy,” she said matter-of-factly. “They got lost.”
“Becca is in foster care,” Bonnie said softly, coming up to stand by Libby. “She was found wandering the streets, with no idea what happened to her parents or where she came from. When Miss Regina read about her in the newspaper, she called Mrs. Robinson and suggested Becca come here. She was hoping interaction with other children would help her cope with her loss.”
Libby’s heart clenched at the thought of a child left with strangers. She quickly stood up.
“Are you saying she isn’t from around here? That she was virtually abandoned by her parents?” she whispered so Becca wouldn’t hear.
Bonnie’s lovely face showed concern for the little girl. “It’s a strange case. There were no car accidents in the area around the time she was found, and with her being so young, it hasn’t been easy to find out much more than her name and that she’s four. I’m afraid she doesn’t interact with the children very well. It’s as if she feels she doesn’t need anyone else in her world.”
A child without a mother being watched by a mother who’d lost her own child. Libby couldn’t even imagine who hurt more here.
The morning passed quickly as Bonnie graciously stepped back so Libby would be the one dealing with the children.
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They first made up a game to help Libby learn their names, and during rest time, Bonnie showed Libby lesson plans and the two women discussed what the class had been doing for the past few months. It didn’t take Libby long to realize how much she had missed teaching.
“It’s amazing how close your ideas are to Miss Regina’s,” Bonnie marveled as they shared lunch. “Most new teachers who have worked elsewhere don’t approve of her methods and aren’t afraid to say so.”
“I can imagine they don’t stay long, then, do they?” Libby smiled. “It was easy to discover that small children learn faster when they have fun while doing so. I don’t know about you, but I swear I still have nightmares about my fourth-grade teacher, who ran her classroom like a military boot camp.”
“You, too?” Bonnie laughed. “Mrs. Kittridge was like that when I was in fourth grade, and I couldn’t imagine there could be another one of her.”
Libby’s smile froze for a second. She should have known that Bonnie, close to her own age, would have studied under the same teacher.
“Maybe it’s a prerequisite for fourth-grade teachers,” she said lightly.
“That’s why I knew I wanted to teach preschoolers. Not to mention how much I enjoy all the playtime we have,” Bonnie said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “Although it hasn’t been as easy to get up and down the past few months. I’m letting you do all that for the next few days. We won’t even mention what happened to me the time I got down in the beanbag chair last week.”
Libby chuckled at the mental picture of the pregnant young woman ensconced in an extremely soft chair that didn’t readily release its occupants.
“How many kids did it take to get you out of it?”
“More like three teachers. I was told not to do it again.” She laughed. “Have you started looking for a place to stay yet?”
Libby shook her head. “I haven’t been here long enough. I know I can’t put it off for too long. I guess I should start looking this weekend.” In a sense, she felt reluctant to leave the motel. A part of her feared she would lose Matthias if she moved elsewhere.
Bells, Rings & Angels' Wings Page 4