by Anna Paige
“Wait until I leave. It’ll be more special that way.”
“Seriously? You don’t want to see me open it?” Was he for real?
“Of course I do, but I also want you to have the freedom to explore this one on your own.”
“I knew it! It’s some sort of crazy sex toy, isn’t it?”
He barked out a laugh and reached up to give my nipple a quick pinch. “No way. If that was it, I’d be staying to help you break it in. But I like the way you think. Christmas is right around the corner…” He tapped his chin with one finger, thinking. “I bet they have giant, red-striped ones with twists on the end, specifically for Christmas.”
I quirked a brow at him, shaking my head. “You really are a weirdo.”
He shrugged. “Told ya.” His lips pressed to my temple and he leaned back to look at me, his hands rubbing my upper arms. “Good night, gorgeous. You call me if you hear or see anything out of the ordinary. Anything at all. Promise me.”
“I promise.” I lifted my free hand to stroke his jaw. “I love you. And thank you. I know this isn’t easy.”
He stepped over to the door, guarding his expression. “It’s never easy being away from you. But I understand. And I respect what you’re doing. You used to be half fragile, half fierce. Now though, you’re mostly just fierce and I’m so damn proud of you. I love you, too, baby.”
I moved to the keypad and disarmed the system, watching him leave. I was fighting back a surge of emotion at his words, so I let him go without comment and secured the house.
With a heavy sigh, I took the box to my room, plopping down on the bed and lifting the large, flawlessly white lid.
My heart leapt into my throat and my eyes burned as I lifted my gift from the pristine white tissue paper. A black leather jacket. It was supple and feminine, just like the one I had all those years ago, with several zippered pockets discretely placed in a way that set it apart from the biker variety. It was beautiful. The smell of leather wafted over me as I turned it over and over in my shaking hands. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I ended up doing a little of both as I stood and went over to the floor-length mirror to try it on, even over my thin pajama shorts.
It was cool against my skin and fit perfectly, hanging at just the right length. Turning this way and that, I slipped my hands into the front pockets, and frowned as I pulled out a small slip of torn notebook paper. I stilled as I looked down at it, half expecting to see those same hateful words, hastily scribbled by the mother who hated me.
What I found instead was Brant’s boxy print.
‘I wish I’d met you years ago, so I could have loved you that much longer. You’re everything I ever wanted and so much more than I deserve. I absolutely adore you. My heart is yours…now and forever.’
Tears fell onto the edges of the paper before I even realized I was crying. My fingers shook as I read it over and over, thinking of all the ways he’d healed me these last few months. The things he made me face, the way he made me feel, how he paid attention to the smallest things, ferreted out every single hurt I still carried and found a way to heal it. He set out to mend every broken piece of me, and he was succeeding. I was blown away that I’d found someone who loved me that much, who saw me, the real me, under the baggage I’d been allowing to weigh me down.
I wondered if he knew that every word on that page, every sentiment he’d expressed… I felt the same for him.
Now and forever.
I fell asleep that night wearing the jacket and holding that note in my hand. I would carry it with me always.
•••
I’d like to be able to say that I slept like a baby, never waking, never scared, but that would be a lie. Around three in the morning, I came awake with a start and lie there convinced that someone was lurking outside. Rather than panicking, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and remained where I was, quietly checking the cameras and refusing to give in to the urge to barricade the bedroom door. I may have stared long and hard at the locks that used to give me my sense of security, may have even debated using them all tonight and trying to slowly wean myself from them by eliminating one every night—or every week—as I built my courage.
In the end, I didn’t lock a single one. I didn’t move the goddamn dresser in front of the door. I didn’t call Brant like a frightened child. And I even refused to keep checking the cameras.
Nothing outside was waiting to hurt me.
Everything that I was afraid of was coming from the inside.
Inside of me.
I let fear and memories scare me and it was getting so damn old.
While I may not have been able to sleep, no matter how brave I was determined to be, I knew I could use this time to better myself. So, I went to work studying self-defense—thank goodness for the internet—and decided that I would finally take Spencer up on his offer of that fancy taser. I wouldn’t just try to be brave. I wanted to look at myself and see what Brant saw.
I wanted to be fierce.
By the time the sun came up, I was bleary-eyed from staring at the computer all night and so amped up that I almost wished Isaac would show up so I could kick the fucking shit out of him. What Brant told me in Kade’s kitchen was exactly right.
I wasn’t going to just get by. I was going to thrive.
And heaven help anyone who got in the way of that.
Seventeen
Brant
I hate this shit.
I’d just wrapped up working on the main house, having made solid progress, and was headed to the cabin to change before taking care of some completely different business in town.
I should just tell her. Then I wouldn’t have to sneak.
I’d been spending as much time as possible with Lauren in the last couple of weeks, but it was never enough. I wanted to wake with her and fall asleep with her and have breakfast with her while she still had that incredibly sexy sleepy face of hers. But with my work on Milly’s Mountain and her trying to catch up at the diner, we’d been kind of hit and miss. We still talked and texted all the time and saw each other every day, even if only for a few minutes.
She was doing phenomenally well. She’d agreed to carry Spencer’s taser—an early Christmas present, he claimed—and never entered or left the diner alone. She was vigilant about using the security system, both at the diner and at home, which made me feel a lot better.
More than that, what made me able to sleep at night was knowing she could take a man my size to the ground in the blink of an eye.
Seriously, I learned the hard way.
She’d been finishing up for the night at the diner and I offered to help her take the trash to the dumpster out back. After tossing the bags in, I came up behind her and put my arms around her, like I always did. But this time, I caught her off guard. She was still a little jumpy at that point and I forgot to be sure she saw me coming.
That’s a mistake I won’t be repeating.
She threw her head back and caught the bridge of my nose in what I referred to as a reverse head-butt, then her elbow smashed into my ribs with enough force to take my breath. I ended up on my knees, cupping my nose and gasping for air in the time it took for her to realize it was me.
She was half a second from kicking me in the balls when her face went stark white and she fell to her knees beside me, apologizing profusely.
Once I was sure my nose wasn’t broken, I complimented her on her technique and played it off like it hadn’t hurt like hell.
It really had.
But she felt bad enough as it was, so I let her off the hook and repeatedly told her how impressed I was.
To make up for the mistake, she’d insisted I take her from behind for the rest of the week.
Who the hell would argue with that?
Not me.
Even weeks later, I got hard every time I thought about the days after I took that elbow to the ribs. It was worth it.
And today could have been one of the rare times we were able to s
pend the whole afternoon together, maybe even revisiting those spectacular positions, but no. Of course not. Because I had to go and be sneaky, trying to keep her in the dark about something important and my punishment was having to handle the details on the one damn day we both had the afternoon free.
Fucking hell.
I could cancel my meeting, push it back by a day or two.
No, I was fighting against the clock as it was. Any further delay and I was fucked.
And not in the fun way.
As if she knew I was picturing her naked, Lauren sent a picture message at that precise moment that made me groan out loud and want to throw my phone against the wall. It was a picture of her full, sensuous mouth, tongue skillfully extended with a caption that read ‘wish you were here’.
Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
I practically kicked the cabin door in, grinding my teeth as I headed up to shower and change for my meeting. Just as I stripped and headed for the bathroom, I typed back a reply, checked the time, and dropped my phone to the counter, knowing full-well my words would have her squirming in her seat as she finished up orders in her little office at the diner.
The text I sent read: ‘I’ll be there soon enough, past that pretty pink tongue and down your hot throat while you sit on my face and I eat your pussy like it’s my last fucking meal. Be ready. Two hours. No underwear.’
I stood under the cool spray of the shower and managed to fight off the urge to rub one out. I would save it for her, all of it, and she’d take every single inch, every drop, because she craved it just like I craved her. We were both going crazy trying to find enough time together and it was high time we had a good long fuckfest.
Today was the day.
And if the jackass I was meeting tried to drag his feet, I’d fucking choke him. Swear to God.
•••
“Holy shit,” Lauren groaned, falling to the mattress. Her breath was coming in heavy gasps, breasts heaving pleasantly as I stood over her, turning her onto her back as I stood beside the bed and positioned myself between her open legs.
I nudged her entrance with my cock, grinning when she shuddered and wiggled against the head, trying to ask for more but not having enough air in her lungs to do so. I’d been pounding her from behind for so long that her legs had given out when she came.
I took myself in hand and rubbed the head of my dick up and down her slit, not pushing inside.
She whimpered and peeked at me from under her lashes.
“What?” I stroked my cock over her clit, gently at first then a little harder, watching her to be sure it wasn’t too much. She was extremely sensitive just after an orgasm but, if I timed it right, I could make her come again within minutes if I persisted. I let the head dip further down, passing over her swollen opening to rest against her ass. “Is there something you want?” I teased, sliding back up and across her clit, settling into a slow rhythm that took me from the tiny sensitive nub to her puckered rear opening and back, marveling at the low throaty sounds she made, letting me know she was enjoying every second.
I tapped my cock against her clit, making her jump, then pressed it lower, dipping slightly inside before withdrawing and pressing against her ass. “You want me here, gorgeous?”
She made a whining sound low in her throat but didn’t answer, so I moved away.
As soon as I did, she wiggled and lifted her legs to put her ankles on my shoulders. Her legs were bent slightly, lending me a spectacular view of everything she had to offer. I lined myself up with her deliciously wet pussy and dipped inside, just an inch or two, just enough to get her attention.
“Mmm…”
“You like that?”
She nodded, eyes falling closed as I pressed in a little more.
“You want me all the way inside that hot pussy?” I pulled back, slipping out of her and positioning myself against her asshole. “Or would you rather I fuck you right here?” I looked down at where I meant. “I’m already so slick with your juices, it wouldn’t take much pressure and…” I gave a little nudge and watched the tip start to breach her opening.
“Ahh…” She gasped, eyes trained on my face.
“You like that, don’t you? This is what you’ve been needing isn’t it? You’ve been dying to have my fat cock in your tight ass, pounding you ‘til you come.”
She wiggled her hips and gripped the edge of the bed, pulling herself toward me, chasing my cock shamelessly as she moaned, “God, yes. Please, Brant.”
“Please what, baby? Ask for what you want and I’ll give it all to you right now.”
“Brant!” she pleaded, groaning in frustration when her attempt to impale herself on my cock resulted in me pulling back.
She’d never once asked for this, always nodding or moaning to let me know what she wanted, like she was ashamed to say the words. I wasn’t going to let that continue. Not anymore. Either she asked for what she wanted or I’d never take her this way again. It wasn’t for me, it was for her. She needed to know it was okay to want this. The last thing she needed was another reason to feel unnecessary shame.
“Tell me what you want, Lauren. I have to hear the words. I need to hear your gorgeous voice.” A low growl tore through me as I bit my lip to keep from plunging myself in right that second. “Do you know how hot this is? How much I love that you trust me with this? But I won’t keep going without the words. Tell me where you want me, Lauren. Now.”
I pressed just a little against the tight ring of muscle and she cried out. “My ass. Fuck my ass.”
I circled my arms around her thighs and pulled her ass off the bed as she hooked her ankles behind my neck. I leaned forward to rest one hand on the bed by her waist and slowly, very slowly, I pressed my cock inside her ass, taking her inch by inch and allowing her time to adjust. She hissed and gasped but continually pressed herself against me, welcoming the invasion, the feel of me in her most vulnerable place.
When I was fully inside, I stopped and straightened to my full height, pulling her legs from around me and hooking them over my forearms as I gripped her knees and held them wide. I looked down at her then, the blissful expression in her hooded eyes making me smile. “This is okay, baby. It’s you and me. Only us.”
She returned my smile and sighed as I began to move inside her. “Now and forever.”
“Now and forever,” I agreed.
•••
It was a week before Christmas and time was running out. I could feel a sense of urgency that kept me on edge most of the time. I couldn’t concentrate and it was driving me crazy. At first, I assumed my anxiety was because I might not have Lauren’s present in time, but then I got the call saying everything was ready and still the feeling of unease remained.
I convinced myself that it was nothing, but the truth of it was I was still having those goddamned nightmares. The ones where Zoey appeared and told me I was going to fail.
Compounded with the fact that Isaac had yet to be found, and it was no wonder I was losing my shit. The cops had searched for days in the area around the abandoned car in Jersey, followed blood trails with hounds, even called in air support to try and find the bastard. The theory was that he bled out somewhere and was carried off by scavengers or he was holed up in those woods hiding out from the cops. Either way, no one thought he was stupid enough to come back here.
I tended to disagree.
Of course, whenever I tried to bring it up, I got shut down. By Clay. By Spencer. By Lauren. No one thought it was possible except me.
Maybe they were right.
But what if they were wrong?
That was the thought that kept me up at night.
So, I kept my mouth shut and my eyes open, the feeling of impending doom reminding me to be vigilant. I had to be. There was a lot at stake. I wouldn’t fall into the trap of complacency. Not when Lauren’s life was still on the line, and as far as I was concerned, it was. I wouldn’t stop worrying until I saw that bastard’s body on a metal slab in the fucking mor
gue.
Until then, I would wait and watch.
I would protect what was mine.
•••
Lauren
“Let me get that.” I fussed, taking the huge tray of food from Talia’s swollen hands.
“I’m pregnant, not helpless.” She groused, reaching out to snag a deviled egg from the tray in Ali’s hand as she walked by.
“Oh, sit your wobbly ass down somewhere and let us handle it,” Ali barked, twisting out of her reach. “And quit your bitching.”
Talia flipped her off and turned to give me a wink. “She loves me, can you tell?”
“Yeah, I can.” I laughed and followed Ali to the dining room to drop off my stolen tray.
Ali took it from me and set it down, stepping back to look at the endless amount of snacks and finger foods we’d prepared. Part of it came from the diner—it was good to be in charge, especially when it meant using the industrial-sized kitchen to prepare for a personal party—the rest was prepared by us girls here at my house. Well, Teach’s house. Whatever.
With Christmas only days away, and everyone heading to spend time with their families, we decided to do a gathering here in Denson before everyone went their separate ways until the new year.
Talia and Spencer were heading off to visit her parents and introduce Spencer to her brother who was back from deployment and coming all the way from Texas. Ali and Clay were going to her father’s in Asheville, and Brant and I planned to spend Christmas with his parents in Pennsylvania. I couldn’t wait to see Jennie and Will again.
There was a sharp rapping on the front door and Clay shouted from the living room, “I got it! It’s Gran!”
Clay’s grandmother had thrown a fit when she found out the guys wouldn’t be coming to see her on Christmas Eve this year, so Clay asked me if it was okay to invite her here for our celebration. It had been thoughtful for him to ask but I told him it was unnecessary. All were welcome here, Gran included.