Tobi nodded. “Yeah, none of our stories are pretty. I’m sure Jasper will tell you his.”
My heart broke for these guys. Sure, it sucked not having a maternal figure, but Tobi didn’t have any parental figures until he was older. If I hadn’t had my dad, I would’ve ended up in the system just like them. So, at least I was lucky to have one loving parent in my life. I wasn’t joking when I said I was worried to hear Jasper’s story.
“How’d you manage to make coffee with the power off?” I asked, changing the subject. I figured I’d pried enough into Tobi’s past.
“French press. We have one next door. I’m thankful this place has gas stoves so I could heat the water. Makes better coffee than a machine anyway.”
He was right. I’d never had coffee from a French press and was impressed with it. I was definitely asking Sara for one for Christmas. She’d been hounding me for present ideas anyways.
Not even two seconds after asking, the front door opened. Jasper practically ran into the room to get out of the cold. I laughed at how bundled up he and Ezra were, but quickly stopped when Jasper came right at me. I knew what he was doing and immediately put down my coffee then ran and jumped over the back of the couch to try to escape him.
“Come on, Low! I just want a hug!” Jasper shouted just before scooping me up.
I yelped when his ice-covered jacket touched all the places I didn’t have clothing covering me. He spun me around and planted a loud kiss on my cheek. I giggled and smacked his shoulder before he released me.
“That was just mean! I’m barely awake right now.”
“Oh, we know,” Ezra answered, giving me a quick hug. He thankfully had removed his jacket. “We’ve been waiting for you to wake up the last two hours. Tobi figured it’d be best to let him talk to you before we came by.”
I nodded and took a seat on the couch again, all of them crowding around me.
“I’m just going to cut to the chase,” Ezra said, sitting on the coffee table to face me. “We all want you. Simple as that. The question is, do you want all of us?”
I didn’t even hesitate. “Yes. I do.”
Jasper let out a laugh. “I was not expecting such a quick response.”
“You will when you hear she’s apparently been with two guys at once before,” Tobi added.
“Really?” Asked Ezra in surprise. “You’ve been in a polyamorous relationship?”
I grabbed my coffee cup back up, knowing I was going to need a little more energy if we were going into this part of my past.
“Once. It was twin brothers. It only lasted a few months, though. I figured out pretty quickly after so many failed relationships, that one person wasn’t enough. I don’t know if you three have noticed, but I’m a damn handful. I have too much personality in one tiny body.”
While I was being honest, I omitted the real reason behind having a polyamorous relationship. It was because if one of them left, at least I still had another still there. I couldn’t take being abandoned by one more person in my life. I knew my dad hadn’t abandoned me, but it still felt like it sometimes since I was practically alone in the world. At least, I was until these guys showed up.
“Oh, really? We hadn’t noticed,” Tobi stated sarcastically.
I nudged him hard with my shoulder. “Be nice! I gave you great sex last night!” I said pointedly.
He gave me a sexy smile and held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, fair enough.”
“So, this isn’t new to you at all. That’s a plus.” Said Ezra.
“Or you three either. You all seemed like the type to share everything. I figured that out quickly after meeting you. None of you show any jealousy when any of you touch me.”
“Nope. We never get jealous,” Ezra answered. “We figure with how busy our lives are, it’d be hard for all of us to each have our own girl. Having one girl together is usually how we do things, but it’s always just fun. You’re the first we’ve actually wanted more of.”
I held up my hands. “Whoa now. I’m a fun kind of girl, not a relationship girl. I’m more than fine being with you guys while you’re here, but this is just a holiday thing. Nothing more. You guys leave when you’re done with the cabin anyways, so everyone will just go back to their regular lives. Got that?” I eyed each of them, letting them see I was totally serious.
Anytime someone stated that they wanted more than fun from me, I went into a panic. I sucked at love and really didn’t care for it anyways. No love here. Nope. But, as I thought about it and looked around at their stricken faces, something twisted in my gut. It was as if my mind was warring against the thought of them just being temporary. I’d never had that feeling before and it freaked me out. I couldn’t fall for these guys. My heart needed to remain stone. Family was where I distributed my love and that was it.
“If that’s what you want, Low, then I’m okay with that,” Ezra said with a resigned tone.
It was clear by how they all were looking at each other and me that they didn’t like my decision at all. But I knew they deserved better. They were amazing guys. I just wasn’t the one to give them what they wanted. I could give them my body and my time, but my heart was off the table.
“It is. Fun and that’s it.”
“Fun, I can do!” Jasper said excitedly, throwing an arm across my shoulders and biting my ear playfully.
I laughed and shoved his face away, not wanting to get turned on before I’ve had any food. I was barely surviving off the coffee after my night with Tobi and really needed to get some calories in me before tackling a sexual encounter with Jasper. Something told me, he’d be a hot lover, but he’d also be a handful.
“If fun is all you want, I’m in too,” Tobi added.
“It’s settled then,” I said happily. I was relieved to be getting away from talking about feelings. “Now, I’m starving and require food before any fun happens for any of you. Who wants to help make breakfast?”
Jasper answered by jumping from his seat and pushing a shoulder into my stomach, lifting me off the ground and over his shoulder to carry me to the kitchen in a fireman’s hold.
“As long as it’s my turn next, I will happily feed you, woman.” Jasper said before he turned his head to deliver a quick bite to my ass.
Damn it. Now, I was turned on and actually thinking of foregoing breakfast for once in my life.
Fucking men …
“Finish What You Start”
After that slightly awkward chat with the guys about the status of our relationship, the days began to fly by leading up to the show.
The storm only lasted about two days, which we all spent either playing random board games my dad had stashed away in an upstairs closet, drinking a little here and there, eating copious amounts of marshmallows by the fire, and them stealing kisses from me in between practicing the routine. Unfortunately, no other sexual escapades ensued during those two days, but I thankfully didn’t have to wait long to be indulged.
I was well taken care of when I finally decided to show Jasper and Tobi my outfit for the show. They took turns ravishing me in the outfit. Jasper got to have a bit more of me, since he and I had yet to really have a turn together. I’d missed being touched by more than one person at the same time. It had been well over a year since my relationship with the twin brothers, so I’d forgotten just how tantalizing it was. Being bit, licked and kissed by two sets of mouths was enough to drive a normal girl insane with lust. With me, it was damn near perfect. Unfortunately, poor Ezra had been checking on the venue preparations when this happened. That was why it was only near perfect. I longed for three sets of mouths and hands on me, but it seemed like something always got in the way of them all taking me at once.
One was either having to go into town for supplies for the cabin, or having to check on preparations for the venue while also keeping in touch with those that were left in charge of their construction company during their absence. I was lucky to get just two of them that day.
At one poi
nt during the last week before the show, I finally looked around at my side of the cabin and decided it was time to embrace my dad giving me the okay to change it. It was as if having the guys here was taking the sting of his absence away little bits at a time every day. I saw what a wreck the cabin truly was. I knew how much my dad loved it, but it was mine now. Changing it for the better wouldn’t erase what the cabin itself meant to him.
So, I bit the bullet and asked the guys for some help fixing a few things.
They were a bit surprised since I’d been against them touching a single thing when they’d first offered to help. Of course, they agreed wholeheartedly since the last thing left to do on their side of the cabin was install the new kitchen cabinets. I didn’t really give them an explanation of why I changed my mind, but shocking enough they didn’t ask for one. They just let it be. That made me admire them just a bit more.
Surprisingly, it felt good to have them know about my past. Sara was the only one I could really talk to about it, but even then, it still felt hard to breathe when I did. Not with them, though. With them, it was like learning to breathe again. It was a weird feeling and I questioned it quite a few times the rest of the day after that.
When the guys were finally finished with their side of the cabin, they started helping me with mine. I bought a second water heater so both cabins could finally have their own hot water, and they rigged it all up within two days like it was a piece of cake. I didn’t have to yell at them anymore for taking all the hot water – which I’d done numerous times already. They fixed the bathroom floor where my ass had dented it in. They replaced a few light fixtures. And finally, they patched up a bunch of holes that Dad always said he’d get around to fixing, but never did. I went into town while they finished up their last-minute things in both cabins, and picked up some new decor to give my cabin the touch of me it always needed.
The day of the show, Jasper and I stayed behind while Tobi and Ezra went ahead to the venue. They left earlier that morning to do all the last-minute set ups with the decorations and made sure the lighting and sound were running smoothly. Jasper had stayed behind to load up all their clothes since the night before was their last night staying in the cabin. The renovations were done, and Stanley would be putting that for sale sign up the day after Christmas. I was going to stay with them tonight at their apartment in the city, then drive back home tomorrow.
I had been a mess all morning. My nerves were getting the best of me, though I wasn’t sure at this point if it was the show worrying me, or the fact I’d be alone again. The guys had done what they could to assure me it would all be fine, but I just couldn’t help pacing all over the place.
“Low, it’s going to be fine,” Jasper consoled me as I continued my pace back and forth in front of the fire place. “Just relax and it’ll all work out. I bet when you start you’ll even love it and not want to stop.”
That was easy for him to say. He sat on the couch with his feet propped on the coffee table like it was just a regular day. He and the others had been in the spotlight for a while and did this even every year. Stage fright was not something they really worried about. I, however, was on the verge of puking with how anxious I was.
“I can’t relax. I barely slept last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about how bad this could all turn out if I messed up. I have bad luck and am as graceful as a stampede of elephants.” I continued pacing, nervously biting at my nails as I stared at the fire in the fireplace.
I was hoping the warmth of it and the gentle crackling of the flames would help ease some of my tension, but it just wasn’t working.
Jasper was suddenly at my side, grabbing my shoulders to bring my pacing to a halt. He started gently kneading between my shoulder blades.
“You are going to drive yourself crazy if you don’t stop thinking about it. You need to be cool like me or you will end up messing up.”
I gave him a glare over my shoulder, but it felt pathetic considering his hands felt really good on my tense shoulders. It’s hard to glare at someone when they were massaging your shoulders. “That’s not exactly helpful advice. If I could switch off the nerves with the snap of my fingers, I definitely would.”
“Okay, how about this, I’ll tell you something about me to take your mind off it?” He supplied.
I nodded. “You can try. Not sure how much that will help though.”
“Want to know the reason you never see me drink?” He asked; his hands stopped on my shoulders.
The randomness of that question surprised me, but I was more than interested in hearing this. I slowly nodded and pulled away from him to lean on the edge of the fireplace.
“When I was a kid, my father was never really in the picture, so my mom raised me on her own,” he started as he sat next to the fire and looked up at me. “She was always doing her best to make ends meet, but that meant she was always gone. I was pretty much left with a babysitter for hours on end, seven days a week.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, preparing myself for what I knew was going to be a hard story by the look on his face. “What happened?” I asked gently.
“I started acting out in school. I felt like she was abandoning me, because I was just too young to understand that she was doing it so I could eat, have a bed to sleep in, and have all those neat action figures she would randomly surprise me with as an apology for being gone. I was slacking in school and starting fights. I had to change schools twice because of it.” His face fell a little more.
“When I turned nine, though, things changed,” he continued. “Mom married a financially stable man, and it all seemed like a great start to a new beginning. She worked less, and I got to have a male figure in my life. I was excited. But, sometimes the nicest of things are simply a mask for what really lies inside.”
My brows pinched in worry. I didn’t like where this was going at all.
“Then what happened?” I prodded softly; my voice almost shook with nerves at what I knew was coming.
“He was an extreme alcoholic with a bad temper. He never took no for an answer. At first, it was just continuous arguments between them. I would throw a pillow over my head and try to drown out their voices while they screamed. But then, things escalated. The fights turned more physical. He’d hit her, and if I tried to stop it, he’d hit me. But then one night, it went even further.”
I covered my mouth with my hand and held my breath, waiting in absolute horror for what would come next in his story.
“He had drunk more than usual, and they got into another fight. I went downstairs because I was worried about my mom. When I got to the bottom of the stairs though, it was to the sight of him stabbing her with a kitchen knife. She died right in front of me.”
“Oh my god… I’m so sorry, Jasper. I can’t even imagine…” My vision blurred as my eyes glassed over. How could someone as light-hearted and funny as Jasper, come out the way he did after seeing something like that.
“The neighbors had called the cops from the noise and they got there before he could get to me. After that it was the foster system. It broke me inside what happened, but I tried to hide it away behind humor. I figured laughing my way through the heart ache was the only way I’d survive it. Drawing had been my escape when I was alone. When I met Tobi and Ezra, it made things hurt less. I liked drawing houses a lot, since mine was never really a happy one. I drew tons of windows, because I figured if there was enough light in them, the darkness wouldn’t seem so suffocating.”
I was in complete shock and honestly had no idea what to say. I fisted a hand over my heart as a few tears slid down my cheek. “That’s why you won’t drink. Because of him.” I paused and suddenly was hit with the memory of how I acted when we first met. “Oh my god!” I slapped my hands to my cheeks. “I was such an asshole to you that one day! How do you not hate me?”
Jasper chuckled and stood. He grabbed my hands from my face and lifted them to his lips, placing delicate kisses on my knuckles. “You didn’t know
. I couldn’t have hated you for that if I tried.”
“Still, I’m an asshole.” And I definitely needed to slow down on the drinking. Or, you know, quit all together. Baby steps.
He turned me around and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Yeah, but you’re a caring asshole and I adore the shit out of you.”
I laughed and shook my head. I couldn’t believe myself. His reaction had been so opposite of the way I probably would’ve reacted. I envied him and idolized him all at once. “Shit. Now, I’m sad and freaking out about the show.”
He laughed again. “Yeah, I probably should’ve saved that story. But at least now you know my dark and ugly past. We are all equal now.”
He had a point. “True. But now I don’t even know what to do with myself.”
“Well,” he said; his voice dropped an octave lower. “This is the first time you and I have had any alone time.” He leaned his head over my shoulder and caressed the side of my neck with his lips. “I could think of a few things that could take away the sadness and the anxiety all at once.” His hands slid beneath my shirt to my hips.
“Oh really?” I breathed out, knowing exactly where he was going with this. Which only surprised me more that he could go from something so heavy, to something so seductive.
“Definitely,” he answered huskily. “If anything could bring up either of our moods, it’d be the idea that’s playing on a loop in my brain.”
He nipped at my ear then walked over and grabbed my blanket from the couch, laying it out on the floor in front of the fireplace before returning to his stance behind me.
His hands slid down my back to the hem of my shirt, grabbing the edges. Slowly, he worked my shirt up and off me. He trailed kisses from one shoulder to the other before kissing his way down the rest of my back. I felt him slide his own shirt off and press his lean, muscular chest against my naked back.
The More the Merrier Page 7