“I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. What I did to you…to us…I was scared, and instead of talking to you about it, I tried to push you away.”
“What are you scared of? Not going back to baseball?”
“No. I mean, yes, that scares me, but I was more scared of you last night.”
“Me? That blow job I gave you was pretty scary, huh?” she asks, sarcastically as she rolls her eyes.
“Yes, actually.”
“Excuse me?”
“Can you sit down, please, and I’ll try to explain?”
She hesitates for a moment, and then sits. “Go ahead.”
“I need to get back to baseball, Sierra. It’s what has always made me happiest in my life, and I don’t know what my life would be like without it. This past year has been harder than I’ve let anyone see. I refused to give up, even when my body was giving up on me, but there were nights that I thought about everything being over. Nights filled with alcohol, random women, and yes, tears, as I contemplated a life without baseball. I know I can’t play forever, but I’m still young enough to have a least a few more years left in me. I’ve got a college degree, and options outside of baseball, but I can’t leave it yet. I just can’t. Not even for you.”
“I would never ask you to give up baseball. I haven’t asked you to give it up.”
“Yet you came to me when I was in the middle of practicing last night.”
“I came to you because I missed my boyfriend. I’m sorry that your middle of the night fucks just weren’t cutting it for me anymore.”
“I have to practice if I’m going to make it through Spring Training.”
“And I have to sleep so I can pay attention in my classes and pass my training. Yet, every night when you come into bed and wake me up, I have sex with you for hours, even though I should be sleeping. I just wanted something for me for once.”
“For you? Is making love with me a chore? I make you come every damn night. That’s not for you?”
“No. It’s not. And please don’t insult us both by pretending that it is. You wake me up because you’re so pumped up about getting better and staying in the batting cage longer and longer. Those orgasms are for you, so you can tell yourself that you’re being a good boyfriend and taking care of me. But I need more than orgasms. I could get those from any guy I pick up at a bar.
“A good boyfriend would have had dinner with me at least once this past week, he would’ve asked me how my day was, or how my studying is going, and maybe, just maybe, he would wake up long enough to give me a kiss goodbye in the morning. That’s the kind of taking care of I need. I think I deserve it, too.
“I get that your career is important to you, but you don’t seem to understand that mine is important to me, too. I’ll never be the girl who just wants to lounge around and spend your money, or be on your arm because you’re a hot baseball player. Even if I didn’t have a football god for a brother, I’m just not that kind of girl. I like my independence, and I value myself enough to know that I’m more than arm candy.”
My head is spinning at what she’s just said. I came here to apologize for last night, but it seems I have much more to be sorry for. She’s right about my focus being all about baseball this last week. I need to focus on my career, but I also need to focus on her. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, although I’ve made them that way lately. I could’ve had dinner with her, and I damn well could’ve kissed her in the morning instead of burying my head in the pillows and ignoring her as she got up for work.
“I don’t deserve you.” There’s so much more I need to say, but that’s all I can get out right now.
“Right now, I’m not sure you’re wrong.” Damn, she’s not giving me an inch. Not that she should, but it still stings.
“Can I take you to dinner tonight?”
“My mom’s flying in tonight.”
“Oh, I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t ask,” she says, looking like she might cry. “You know what hurts even more than you ignoring me, or not being interested in me for anything besides sex?”
“No.” I’m not sure I want to know. In fact, I’m positive that I don’t. I need to, though, if I have any chance of fixing this. “Please tell me.”
“You haven’t spoken even one word of Portuguese to me until last night. It took me putting your cock in my mouth for that to happen.”
Holy shit. I slide out of my seat to kneel next to her chair. I take her face in my hands and look her in the eye. “Eu te amo. Eu sinto muito,” I tell her, meaning every word, because I do love her, and I’m very sorry for what I’ve done to her.
“It’s going to be hard when baseball season starts or when I have to travel for business and we’re apart. I’ll miss you, but it’ll be okay if I know you miss me, too. I didn’t feel that from you this past week. You need to focus on getting back to your team, and I want that for you so, so much. I just need a little bit of you, too.”
“You have all of me. I can’t give it all to you right now, but I’m yours. There are no rabbits in my future. I promise.”
“Rabbits?”
“Oh, um, shit. I meant bunnies. Jen called them rabbits and it just slipped into my head.”
“Jen? Oh Hell, did she come to see you?”
“Yeah, while I was working with Waverly.”
“She shouldn’t have.”
“I’m glad she did. If I’d lost you because I was focusing on baseball, and only baseball, I’d never have forgiven myself.”
“Wait, you just said she interrupted your session with Waverly. You need to go.”
“I’m right where I need to be, Gatinha.”
“I just said I wouldn’t interfere with baseball.”
“You’re not. I did this. Not you. You’ve been supportive and wonderful, putting up with my stupid ass while I ignored you and treated you like shit.”
“When you say it that way, I really sound pathetic.”
“You can punch me a few times if it will make you feel better. Or hit me with an arrow somewhere non-life threatening.”
“An arrow?”
“I thought I heard Darcy say you were doing archery.”
“Oh, yeah. I was. They have some fun stuff for us to do here in between torturing us with Science and Languages.”
“Cool. Maybe you can show me one day.”
“Maybe. I don’t need to punch you or shoot an arrow into you to prove I’m a strong woman. I just need to walk away if you treat me badly again.”
“I won’t.”
“I hope not. Listen, I have to get back, but thanks for coming by. We’ll talk soon.”
“How long is your mom in town for?” I ask, standing when she does.
“Just the one night. She was visiting our aunt in California, and we convinced her to stop here before going home.”
“Oh, okay.”
She bites her lip and looks at the floor. “If you have time, you could come to dinner with us tonight. Zack and Ainsley will be there, too.”
“Yes. I want to go to dinner.”
“Great. I’ll text you the info.”
I impulsively pull her to me and hug her tight. She hugs me back, and I just stand there breathing her in, thankful that I didn’t screw things up so badly that we can’t go back from them. And promising myself that I’ll do everything I can to never hurt her again.
Chapter 9
Sierra
My parents aren’t the type who enjoy a fancy restaurant more than once a year, so we’re taking my mom to a really good Mexican restaurant on the fringes of downtown. I decided to dress with the theme, putting on a tight black mini dress that has an off the shoulder lace overlay. I didn’t go all out with my hair and makeup because this isn’t a date. It’s a dinner with my mom, and my maybe-boyfriend.
I texted him the restaurant and time, and he said he’d be there. I shouldn’t be nervous. He’s seen me naked and experienced my morning breath, yet he’s still around. Or a
t least he’s promised to be from now on.
When I get to the restaurant, I see Zack, Ainsley, and my mom getting out of Zack’s truck. I beep, so they see me and wait. I run over to my mom as soon as I get out of the car, hugging her tight. I love my parents. I know some people don’t have good relationships with theirs, but mine are great. Sure, they disciplined us when they had to, and they didn’t let us get away with any crap, but I’ve always felt loved and wanted. I know Zack feels the same way, too.
“I’ve missed you,” my mom tells me when we pull apart.
“Me, too. You have to come visit more often. Especially since Zack and I are both here now.”
“I know,” she says, linking her arm with mine as we walk into the restaurant in front of Zack and Ainsley.
“Hi,” Joel says, standing up from one of the benches when we walk inside. “They said they didn’t have a reservation for you, so I put our name in for a table.”
“I could’ve done that,” Zack grumbles.
“You weren’t here,” my mother reminds him, swatting his arm. “Thank you, Joel. It’s nice to see you again.”
“You as well, Mrs. Taylor,” he tells her. “You look lovely tonight.”
“Dude, that’s my mom.”
“He said she looked nice, Zack. Calm down,” Ainsley tells him.
“That’s very sweet of you to say, Joel,” my mom says.
“Just telling the truth.”
“Seriously, man. Enough with the ass kissing.”
“Shut it, Zacky,” I tell him, earning a glare.
“Can we have one meal where you two don’t try to antagonize each other?” my mom asks.
“No,” we both say in unison.
The hostess yells out Joel’s name right then, so we drop it for now. Joel takes my hand and smiles down at me as we walk to the table. “Você esta bonita.”
“Thank you. You look very nice, too.”
He’s got on a green polo shirt, dark jeans, and combat boots. His hair is in its usual slicked back style, just begging for me to run my fingers through it.
“I wanted to impress your mother.”
“Just tone it down before Zack loses it.”
“Am I threatening his masculinity?” he asks, pulling out my chair for me. “Does he need to be the alpha?”
“No, and yes. He’s very secure in his masculinity, but he’s also very protective of me, my mom, and Ainsley.”
“Got it. I’ll stop with the compliments.”
“Thanks,” I tell him, leaning up to kiss his cheek.
We all discuss the menu as we look it over, debating on appetizers to share and deciding what we want. I’m having trouble deciding between the enchiladas and the chimichanga, although I know I want some empanadas, too.
“You get one, and I’ll get the other. We can share,” Joel offers.
“I thought you wanted tamales.”
He shrugs. “I can take some home with me.”
“Getting in all the good stuff before you have to diet, huh?” Zack asks.
“Yep. I’ve been eating pretty healthy while I’ve been out, but it’s back to only lean meats once Spring Training starts.”
“It’s the one thing that sucks about being a pro athlete, but it’s worth it.”
“Yeah, it totally is.”
“Sharing food is fun, too. Ains and I do it all the time.”
I smile at my brother, silently thanking him for being nice to Joel. He nods at me in response. We agree on what to order and Zack signals the waitress over. She comes to the table, but stands next to Joel instead of Zack.
She starts speaking to him in Spanish, hitting on him. I know he speaks fluent Spanish because we’ve compared the similarities and differences to Portuguese while he’s been teaching me his language. He looks at me, winks, and then turns to the waitress.
“I’m Brazilian, so my native language is Portuguese. My girlfriend speaks Spanish, so maybe she can translate what you said to me, and then I can give you my answer.”
Her eyes go wide as she glances at me. “Oh, um, no. That’s okay. I’ll speak in English. What would you like to order?”
Once she walks away, Zack looks at Joel with his head tilted. “You don’t speak Spanish?”
“I do.”
“She was hitting on him,” Ainsley explains.
“With my sister sitting next to you? You have your arm on her chair for fuck’s sake.”
“Women hit on you when you’re with Ainsley,” I remind him.
“I don’t like it. Any of it.”
“Neither do we, but as long as you say no, we can handle it. Right, Si?”
“Yep. I’ll never like it, but I can live with it. Especially when my guy does things like he just did. That was epic.”
“Nah. It was just the right thing to do,” Joel says, closing his eyes as I lean over and kiss him. We’re going to be okay.
* * *
Joel
I’ve been back on track, working and training as hard as I can, but also giving Sierra the attention she deserves. Our relationship just keeps getting better and better. I still worry a little about what’s going to happen when I go on the road, but she says she’s really going to be okay with it, and I have to trust that our love will keep us going. I’m not the first athlete to be in a relationship with someone who can’t go on the road. Other people have done it, and we can do it, too.
Tonight, I’m going to hang out with the kids from the high school team Miles coaches. I went out and watched them play a few times last year, signing autographs and stuff, but this time will be different. This time, they’re going to help me. Batting in a cage is one thing, but it can’t account for the variables a human would be throwing at me. These kids aren’t MLB players, but they can still toss the ball with me, and his pitcher is actually being heavily recruited, so he should have some good heat.
I pull up to the field and smile when I see Sierra and her friends already in the stands. Kendrick and Waverly are here, too. Kendrick’s been taking care of my medical progress ever since I started getting help from Waverly. That wasn’t part of my original deal with Reina, but she signed off on it when he told her it would help with whatever research he does for the Foundation.
My smile goes wider when Sierra holds up a sign with sparkly letters on it, proclaiming her love for me. She’s got her hair in ponytails, and fuuuckk, she’s wearing a tight sweater and a cheerleading skirt. How the hell am I supposed to play when she’s looking like that? Having a hard on is not going to be comfortable. At least I have compression shorts on under my cut off sweats, so it may not be so evident.
“Nice wood,” Matisse yells when I go up to bat. I turn to her and she smirks as Sierra dissolves into a fit of giggles. Okay, so yeah, it’s definitely evident.
I turn back to the pitcher and nod. He throws me a good pitch, and it’s game on. I hit, run, throw, and slide into bases for the next two hours, and it feels fucking fantastic. It’s been years since I’ve just played to play and not to win. I thank all the kids and go get my girl.
I pick Sierra up and spin her around, kissing the hell out of her. I don’t care that the kids can see us, or that her friends and mine are telling us to get a room. I only care that this amazing woman came here to cheer me on—literally. She’s a wet dream come true, and she’s all mine.
“Sorry to break this up, but the guys want to know if you’re going to the pizza place with us,” Miles says.
“Oh, umm…”
“Yeah, we are,” Sierra answers, smiling at me. “I just have to change, and then we’ll meet you there.”
“You don’t have to change,” Landon Wilson says. He’s the pitcher, and his dad, Zane, is a good friend of Miles.
His dad comes over and smacks the back of his head. “Not appropriate.”
“All I did was say that she didn’t need to change.”
“Why doesn’t she need to change?” Zane asks him.
“Because…well, shit. Don’t tell Mom
, okay?”
“Apologize, and I’ll consider it.”
“I’m sorry,” he grumbles.
“You’re Zane Wilson,” Matisse says suddenly. She looks absolutely star-struck. She’s covered in ink, and I’ve heard he’s a pretty famous tattoo artist, so I guess that’s why.
“Uh, yeah. Hi.”
“I’m Matisse,” she tells him, sticking out her hand. “We have an appointment on Monday. My friend Stella set it up.”
“Oh yeah, hey, it’s nice to meet you. Stella said you did an apprenticeship at a shop in D.C.”
“It wasn’t anything like you do, but I learned some stuff. Thanks for letting me shadow you.”
“No problem. Some of the guys from the shop are meeting us for pizza if you want to come. My wife will be there, too.”
“I’d love to meet Quinn, but I have plans.”
“Go on ahead, Matisse,” Kendrick says, shocking the hell out of me, and pretty much everyone else. “I can help you study tomorrow.”
“Are you sure? I know you made room in your schedule for me today.”
“I’ll figure it out. Have a good night.”
He starts to walk away, but she stops him. “Kendrick, wait. I don’t want to re-schedule.” She turns back to Zane. “I’m sorry I can’t make it tonight, but I’m really looking forward to meeting everyone.”
“No worries. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“Wait a minute,” Sierra says. “How come you didn’t offer to help me study, Kendrick? I’m struggling a little in Science, you know.”
“I didn’t know, actually. Maybe we could include you.”
“No. We can’t. Sierra was just kidding.”
She practically drags Kendrick away, putting her hand behind her back to flip Sierra off. “That was interesting,” I say.
“Yes, it was,” Waverly answers, looking at Kendrick and Matisse like she’s trying to figure out a puzzle.
“You coming with us, Waverly?” Jenysis asks her.
“Sure, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is,” Sierra tells her, and I smile again because of her. This time it’s not because of how hot she looks, but because of how good of a person she is. She’s the whole package, and I’m pretty damn lucky to have her in my life.
Society Girls: Sierra Page 8