‘I was not the man she’d met, and couldn’t offer the globetrotting life she sought. So I ended it.’ The words sounded like a snarl as he slipped back in time, seeing again the moment that once lovely face had screwed up in selfish pity. ‘Grazie a Dio! It was for the best.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’ The gentle concern in Tilly’s eyes was almost too much. He was glad Carlotta had revealed her true self to him. It was just sad that it had taken such an accident to show him the kind of woman she was.
‘When should you have married?’ He needed to deflect attention from himself, prevent the horror of those months coming out into the open and infesting his dreams as they always did when he thought too much.
‘An hour after Jason told me the engagement was off.’
* * *
Tilly clenched her teeth, biting back the tears. She couldn’t let them fall now. Not here. Not in front of this man. She’d thought she was over Jason, over the way he’d called everything off so suddenly.
‘Dio mio.’
The expletive was hotly followed by rapid Italian words she couldn’t understand and her need to give to tears was swamped by the urge to laugh—in a way she hadn’t done for months. How could she talk about it to Xavier and even find it funny? It was this place and being marooned from reality.
Exactly a year ago she should have married the man she’d believed to be her Mr Right. He’d been safe, comfortable, someone she’d grown up with, then he’d catapulted her into a new life, telling her she should live for the moment, as he’d done. Was that what she was fighting against now? A moment with an Italian playboy who set her pulse racing?
Xavier stepped close to her and reached out his hand, stroking the backs of his fingers across her cheek. The air cracked with tension as she continued to resist giving in to the temptation of a kiss. Seconds slowed to minutes as he moved closer still. So close she could smell his fresh masculine scent, taste it on her tongue.
She ached to be kissed by him, to feel his lips against hers.
From the hallway the old grandfather clock sounded the first strike of midnight. It chimed through the charged air and the small clock on the mantelpiece echoed it, ending the year and her contract.
‘Midnight,’ she whispered softly, unable to do anything else, the atmosphere was so laden and intense. His gaze fell to her lips and every breath she dragged in seemed to burn.
The chimes continued, showing out the old year and ringing in the new. Everything became hazy, except Xavier’s handsome face. Had the world stopped turning?
‘Buon Anno Nuovo.’ His sensually deep voice sent ripples of tingling awareness all over her.
‘Happy New Year.’ Her soft barely-there whisper was almost drowned out by the thudding of her heart and the last stroke of midnight. She had to go right now. She wasn’t ready for this. Before he could do anything to stop her, she left the room, carelessly putting her glass down as she passed a table.
‘Natalie.’
He called after her, but she didn’t stop until she was next to the Christmas tree he’d wanted banished from the house. Then she sensed him behind her and turned.
‘Don’t run from me, Natalie, not tonight.’
She looked at him, unable to decide if the undercurrent of vulnerability she heard in his voice was real. ‘I have to go.’
‘Stay.’
Was she really afraid to celebrate the New Year with a kiss or was she running because she wanted to be kissed? Would she regret it if she left now? Her heart thudded harder than ever as she looked at him. Her mouth felt dry, as if not a single drop of champagne had passed her lips.
‘No. I can’t.’
He didn’t say anything but moved towards her, the intensity of moments ago still surrounding them. She couldn’t take her eyes from his face and could hardly breathe as he moved closer.
His fingers brushed her cheek briefly before sliding into her thick hair and holding her firmly. Slowly he lowered his head, stopping before she could feel his lips on hers, and she looked into his eyes. Fireworks of passion exploded in them and beyond that display she saw something that made her want him more.
‘Happy New Year, Natalie.’ The deep tones of his voice sent sparks of heat around her body.
She swallowed hard, almost unable to form a single word as she responded instinctively in Italian. ‘Buon Anno Nuovo, Xavier.’
What was she doing? As his lips almost touched hers, she pulled back, but his hand in her hair held her. ‘Your contract is over, Natalie, and you can’t deny there is something between us tonight.’
Was he giving her permission to kiss him, to give in to the desire that thudded in her veins? His lips met hers, brushing so tenderly over them that a soft sigh escaped her. The kiss became harder, more demanding and she couldn’t help herself.
She fought hard to keep her eyes open but it was all she could do to stop her lashes lowering. His lips tasted hers and she resisted the temptation to press herself against him, hot need rushing through her. This was just a New Year’s kiss. Nothing more.
His fingers curled tightly in her hair, keeping her lips just where she really wanted them—beneath his. A small sigh of pleasure sounded in her throat as the kiss intensified, his tongue seeking hers.
She gave herself up to the ecstasy of the moment, her body filled with fiery heat. How could a kiss be so unbelievably hot? His lips trailed down her throat and her whole body trembled. He kissed her bare shoulders as he cupped her breast, the pad of his thumb grazing over her peaked nipple, causing her to drag in a breath of pure pleasure.
He moved against her and through the silk of her dress she could feel the firmness of his body, from the muscular chest to his strong thighs. Unashamedly she moulded herself against him, the hardness of his arousal pressing against her, tormenting her.
As passion threatened to overpower her, take away her last remnants of sanity, he pushed her away. Shock stunned her, freezing her mind and body. All she could hear was the thud of her pulse as her heart raced, but when she looked at him, the expression on his face had turned cold.
What had she done? What had she been thinking? Kissing Xavier Moretti like that?
The fierce look on his face left her in no doubt she’d gone too far, read too much into the flirtatious mood of the evening.
‘That shouldn’t have happened.’ The husky tone of her voice cracked with raw desire that even she could hear. He continued to watch her, displeasure increasingly more evident in his eyes and the firm line of the lips that had just sent her senses into overdrive.
The temptation to turn and run upstairs was immense, but she must never let him know what his kiss had done. The world had stopped turning; everything except him had ceased to exist.
She stepped back, feeling a chill on her skin after the heat of being in front of the fire. Or was it the heat of his kiss? Those dark and wickedly brooding eyes didn’t leave her face for one second, causing her cheeks to glow as a blush crept over them.
‘Goodnight.’ Thankfully firmness brushed aside the husky voice she’d just heard coming from herself. She stepped back again and the further she moved from him the more humiliation rose within her.
‘Buona notte, Natalie.’
Damn him, he wasn’t making this easy for her. He could at least say sorry. But you kissed him back. The traitorous voice in her head mocked her embarrassment and she dragged in a deep breath.
She had to get out of there. Slowly she turned to walk up the stairs, feeling him watching every move she made so intently she could hardly walk. After what seemed like an eternity she reached the first landing.
‘Natalie?’
The sensual way he said her name had her turning to him instinctively, but she refused to go back, refused to be drawn into something neither of them wanted—or needed. She couldn’t respon
d, couldn’t say one word as their eyes met.
‘Grazie.’
She didn’t wait to find out what he thanking her for or even acknowledge it. She gave him a brief smile before she turned, forgetting her earlier intention and running up the stairs as fast as she could in her high heels. She didn’t dare stop, not until she’d reached the sanctuary of her room.
* * *
Xavier woke as a chill spread over him. The fire, which had burned so hot at midnight, was now nothing more than embers glowing amidst the ash. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said about the fire of desire within him.
He should never have kissed her, never have accepted her unspoken invitation to taste those lush lips, because now that he had, he wanted more. With each passing hour he’d been drawn to her with an inevitability that he’d been unable to ignore, despite the guilt that had prevented him from even thinking of kissing a woman in the last three years.
He stood up and pain niggled down his legs, a legacy of the accident and a constant reminder of his guilt. As was Tilly’s insistence that she worked for him, making it plain that, despite the pull of attraction between them, nothing would ever happen.
But something had happened.
She’d kissed him back, responded so hotly he’d wanted her right there and then.
He’d only intended to brush his lips over hers in a celebratory kiss, and he’d almost stopped, sensing that a boundary would be crossed, a boundary she’d firmly set.
As his lips had tasted hers he’d lost his ability to think. The heat of her lips on his still seared him. Kissing her had been all he’d wanted to do; he couldn’t allow things to go further, and not just because she was vulnerable. The only woman to have seen his battered body was Carlotta. As the memories of her revulsion had mixed with his constant guilt, he’d pushed Tilly away.
He’d watched Tilly all but run upstairs and had been unable to process the implications of what had happened. Her door had clicked closed and he had marched away from the ever-mocking Christmas tree, back to the heat of the fire.
Maledizione. He should never have kissed her. She’d tested his control, pushing it almost to the breaking point. He’d forced himself to let her go, to step away from her when every nerve in his body had cried out for the satisfaction of feeling her against him. He’d remained downstairs because he’d known Natalie wasn’t a one-night sort of woman.
He glanced out of the landing windows, out into the night, which was illuminated by the snow, casting an eerie glow. At least it had stopped snowing. With any luck the minor roads leading away from the manor would be clear by tomorrow and she could leave—even if he had to dig through the snow to make a track to the road. She couldn’t stay here, not when she tempted him, making him want things he had no right to want.
As he finally retired to his room he paused at the end of the corridor that led to Tilly’s room. He imagined her asleep in the grand four-poster bed and knew he didn’t want her to be so far away from him, and not just because they were alone in the house.
With another stream of curses muttered under his breath he turned and strode towards his room. Whatever had happened tonight could not be repeated.
CHAPTER FIVE
TILLY WOKE WITH a start the next morning. At first she couldn’t work out where she was. Then everything came flooding back. Had she really kissed Xavier last night? Or had it been a dream? Surely she hadn’t done anything so stupid? She scanned the dim room, looking for anything that would remind her and help her clarify reality from dreams.
Her gaze rested on the black silk dress she’d draped over the chair last night and she closed her eyes in resignation as her memory cleared. She had kissed him. She’d thought he would be her fling, but she’d been unable to do it.
Her cheeks burned as the scene played out again in her mind. She could hear his deep sexy voice as they’d stood in the lounge, telling her that her contract was almost over. He’d used a celebratory New Year kiss to get past her guard. But celebration had definitely not been on her mind as she’d very daringly responded to him. After making it clear she was here in a professional capacity, she had been the one who’d taken it too far.
With her mind in turmoil, she slipped from the bed and pulled aside the heavy curtains, the cold from the leaded windows making her shiver, but at least it wasn’t snowing. Hopefully she could try and get to Vanessa’s house today. She had to be at the engagement party. There was no way she wanted to upset her friend, make her feel guilty for finding love and happiness, even if it did nudge at her own failings. More importantly she had to get away from the man who’d opened up the door to thoughts she should never have had.
She took clean jeans and a jumper from the case, wishing she’d had the forethought to put them to warm on the radiator last night. Almost haphazardly, she tossed everything else back into the case before closing it and turned her attention to the dress. Whatever had made her dash out and choose such a garment? As she’d put it on last night she’d really wanted Xavier to notice her and now she blushed at that idea.
Leaving the case and her dress, packed into its garment cover, on her bed, ready for a quick getaway, she left the room. A heavy silence filled the house as she walked along the corridor to the stairs, each window she passed offering a gorgeous view of the snowy parkland, but she didn’t have time for that. She needed to pack her catering things and load the van—getting to Vanessa’s engagement party was her priority.
She looked at the Christmas tree as she came to the bottom of the stairs, its bright decorations mocking her. For the second year in a row New Year’s Eve had been a disaster. Both times it had been her fault. Either passion, or lack of it, had completely messed things up.
Walking down the corridor to the kitchen, she felt a blast of icy air and seeing the back door wide open went to close it, but not before she’d surveyed the depth of the snow and ascertained if there was any hope of getting her van out.
It looked unlikely. Snow had been driven by the wind, banking up against the wall of the courtyard and almost along one entire side of her van. Xavier’s sporty number, so covered in snow it was unrecognisable, would most definitely not be going anywhere.
Large footprints trailed through the white blanket of snow, towards one of the stone outbuildings on the opposite side of the courtyard. What was Xavier doing?
As if conjured up by her thoughts, he emerged from the barn, his arms full of logs. He looked as if he was preparing to stay for a long time. Did he not want to rush back to London? He paused briefly when he saw her. ‘Buon giorno, Natalie.’
How could he sound so...? She struggled for the right word. Unaffected? After last night she had no idea how to act with him. How did you greet a man when you had all but thrown yourself at him the night before?
‘Are you staying here longer?’ Puzzlement filled her voice as she stood back to let him past, trying to ignore the heat building in her cheeks.
He stacked the logs against the wall just inside the back door, adding to those he must have already brought in. He didn’t pause in his task, but the firmness of his voice warned her against disagreement. ‘We are staying longer.’
‘We?’ she gasped the word out in shock. ‘I can’t stay here. Not with you. Not after last night.’
He straightened, wiped his hands against each other and looked down at her, irritation plainly etched on his face. Suddenly the narrow passageway between the back door and the kitchen felt far too claustrophobic. He overpowered her completely. The scent of his aftershave nudged at memories of last night.
‘Unless you want to dig out your van and the mile or so of driveway then, yes, we are staying.’ There wasn’t a trace of the gentleness she’d heard in his voice last night. She should be glad of that, but it still hurt to think he could kiss her so tenderly then just hours later almost dismiss her. It had been nothing more
than just a New Year kiss, as he’d told her. One already forgotten—by him at least.
‘But if I could get to the road...’ she began, then, as his lips formed a hard line and he shook his head, she went on, ‘The road is clear, isn’t it?’
‘It is no different from what you can see from the windows at the front of the house,’ he added grimly. Was he too finding it hard to deal with the knowledge they could be marooned here for another day? Or was it the thought of being with a woman who’d launched herself at him so blatantly when all he’d wanted had been an uncomplicated New Year kiss? Could any kiss be uncomplicated?
‘What about the main road?’ Hope lifted once more but was soon dashed by the quick shake of his head.
‘I didn’t get that far.’
‘You went out?’ She looked again at him, taking more notice of the boots he wore and the windproof jacket.
‘I walked to the gates, yes.’ He moved towards the kitchen and she let out a small breath of relief before following him. ‘I went to see if we could leave and get back to London before the storm hits.’
‘Storm? But I thought the snow we had overnight was the blizzard you mentioned yesterday.’ Every nerve in her body was on high alert and she tried to tell herself it was because of the word ‘storm’ and nothing at all to do with the man himself or the way his dark eyes watched her.
‘Last night was just snow. We are due to have blizzard conditions and the weather warnings have been upgraded.’ He pulled out his phone, accessing the weather app. ‘Blizzard conditions due to sweep across Britain today, causing massive disruption. Travel only if essential.’
‘But...’ she began, now at a total loss for words until finally her worst fears came out almost as a squeak. ‘What if we are here for days?’
‘Va bene.’ He shrugged casually and then leant back against the kitchen unit, folding his arms across his chest. The action gave him domination of the entire room, as well as her thoughts. ‘We have plenty of food. We are warm and safe. Better to stay here, no?’
New Year at the Boss's Bidding Page 7