I retrieved a volume that had caught my eye, unaware that Lewis had been sitting in a chair in the corner watching me. Strigoi were stealthy and fast so I had no idea how long he had been there. I reddened.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said pulling the book behind me. ‘I know I am not supposed to be here now. I will go.’
‘You won’t find the answers there. There is nothing you can do.’
‘What do you mean?’ I enquired.
‘Please don’t take me for a fool.’
My face further flushed like a guilty child.
‘There is nothing you can do for Arianne.’
He reached for the book and brushed dust from its cover. The letters were penned with gold consisting of strokes and dashes; an elaborate mix of symbols. Amongst these letters was the symbol of three sinuous strokes indicating wind. I had learnt enough to know what it said. These were from volumes on the higher shelves. Books I had been asked not to read. The letters on the book spelt Reversal.
‘You want this book?’ He scoffed. ‘So that you may return Arianne to her former human herself?’
‘Is that not what the book is about?’
‘Yes, but it has never been done before, not successfully anyway.’
‘Perhaps for Claude.’
‘You will kill him if you try. Even the most experienced strigoi have never succeeded with these spells and potions. There is too much to learn, and there are things in here that even I do not understand.’
‘Then you are not trying hard enough and you are not the experimentalist you claim to be.’ I could not resist. I had bitten my tongue for too long.
His lip curled inwards with anger. I had seen this before when he became frustrated with other witches. Sometimes he would explode and tell them to leave, other times he would send them to their rooms without meals.
We were interrupted by noisy laughter and scuffles in the entrance hall from several of the newest witches who came back from a jaunt in the town. I followed Lewis to meet them. They smelled of beer and the women giggled stupidly with necklines too low. This particular group had already been warned by Lewis to stay away from the towns for anything but to observe, and they had been gone for several days spending the gold which was only meant to buy their clothes. Lewis scolded them for their dishevelled appearance, and I noticed that one or two seemed to find instant sobriety, their faces solemn, while others seemed not to care.
Lewis bellowed: ‘You know the rules about entering the town during daylight and drawing attention.’
One of the male witches sniggered. I could feel the air get so cold around me, fearing we would all turn to ice. Several chairs lifted into the air and with trepidation we watched them circle above us.
‘Lewis,’ I whispered cautiously.
Then chairs flew at the witches knocking several unconscious. One of the witches, a young female, her brassy red satin armpits stained with sweat from her sojourn, was hit with such force her neck was snapped. Others stood up shakily only to be hit again. Lewis was fixed on his task, controlling each item to aim perfectly at its target.
A male witch stood up to apologise but was slammed against the wall. I heard the crack of his skull and he slid down the wall, blood trickling from his mouth.
I did not like that they had broken the rules but this was too much to bear. I shouted to Lewis to stop and he looked at me so fiercely I expected that it was my turn next to receive his wrath. Instead, the force in the air subsided and the furniture smashed to the floor. He surveyed the damage with detachment.
Whether he sent a calling or whether they came instinctively, several strigoi materialised from their rooms to carry the broken bodies – dead or otherwise – outside to deal with quickly while others, lucky enough to remain unscathed, stood terrified, quivering or wailing.
‘This is a privilege, not a given. There will be further consequences for any others who enter a tavern without permission.’ Those still standing were roughly shoved back to their rooms no doubt to lick their wounded pride.
I was left slightly shaken by the spectacle. Lewis had always been foreboding but seeing his punishments firsthand left me sickened. I could not hide it in my face.
‘It is these who will bring about our downfall yet again. I cannot allow it to happen not after all I have been building. They are ungrateful unruly creatures.’
‘It is but a first offense…’
‘You do not understand, Lilah,’ he said in a much calmer tone now. ‘Such punishment is the only way to teach. Do not think that they are all like you, or share your goodwill of others. There must be order and there must be control. I have been generous and they have abused it.’
The witches were enchanted by their newfound status within these walls and had come here willingly yet I wondered then if this were not a prison after all. They had embraced the opportunity and must endure the rules as well. And despite this event, I was right to suspect that those injured witches would still prefer to stay here off the streets with their acquired taste for finery. Was I perhaps the only one who had harboured thoughts of leaving? I decided to investigate then what happened to others who had left in the years before me.
Late that night I sought out Irene. I knew that her mother had worked here before her and that she had known little else outside the castle walls. We had been forced together and formed a close bond.
I found her below the stairs of the galley. Her room though small was still larger than the one I had shared at Emil’s. She was wary to see me so far from the safety of my room, her long woolly hair free and wild about her face. I realised how her own life must feel like it was hanging in the balance living among the strigoi. Who was to say that one would not slip and lose control with hunger and come secretly to the servants’ rooms.
I asked her if any witches ever left here. She thought about it for a second but shook her head.
‘Do they all become strigoi?’
She shook her head again biting her lip.
‘Please tell me,’ I begged.
‘It is probably best you be shown.’
She reached for my candle and I followed her through a large wooden door to cross a stone courtyard before reaching another door. With a key she opened the door and we were outside the castle walls where a small patch of lawn extended to the forest.
We walked a short way through the forest under the light of a partial moon.
‘Follow me,’ she urged.
We were both in our nightdresses and slippers. Wolves howled from the distant hills and, with her free hand, Irene shielded her fire torch from an icy northern wind. For several minutes we tramped through snow before she stopped. She adjusted my shawl around me and viewed me cautiously. I was about to question her when she raised her arm up high to light the area around our feet. We stood in a small clearing surrounded by a low stone wall.
‘The stones are here to lock the spell so they can never be resurrected.’
‘Irene,’ I said. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘The witches you asked about are beneath us?’
‘What are you saying?’ I was slightly frustrated and wanting to return to the warmth of my bed. Even with my insomnia it was better than here in the dark surrounded by beasts, or perhaps even strigoi hunters, undiscerning with their choice of worthy or unworthy prey.
‘We are standing on them.’
‘You mean they are buried here.’
She nodded.
‘Were they killed?’ I asked.
‘Yes,’ she said.
‘Why?’
She lowered her eyes. ‘They refused the change.’
‘Who killed them?’
She did not answer this time, looking fearfully back towards the castle. A turret room high above all others overlooked the surrounds from every window. The light within showed the silhouette of a tall man pass by its drawn curtains.
I did not need to hear the name. It dawned in that moment that I might never be free.
Chapter 12
Gabriel
After an extended respite, I found the courage to visit the castle with the intention of speaking with Lilah, hoping once more to resume our friendship. I made an excuse to Arianne that I needed to pay my belated respects to Lewis. It was because of his magic that she now had immortality, a privilege usually only offered to those of our blood.
‘I’m sure anyone could perform such an act,’ she pouted. ‘They just need to learn how.’
I took my leave, relieved to have some space between us for her attentions were at times suffocating. Our nights together were nothing short of wonderful but those demands too had been wearing thin lately and I found myself craving other adventures outside the confining walls of our nest.
I knocked on Lilah’s door. There was no answer so I opened it.
She was sitting in a chair by the fire. She had fallen asleep reading. I noticed that it was not a book from the library but a book of Christian prayer. I wondered then how she came to own such a thing. Lewis would have had it burnt. Only books on our craft were allowed in the castle.
I sat beside her. Her head rested in her hands and her dark hair fell loosely over one shoulder. Her lips parted ever so slightly, breathing deeply, and it was the most at peace I had ever seen her. I had the strange feeling that peace was what she craved more than anything and I came to the guilty realisation that I had failed her by bringing her here.
She woke with a gasp.
‘What do you want?’ she said standing up quickly, her book falling to the floor. I bent to retrieve it but she pushed my hand away.
Pulling a shawl around herself she sat back down. I wanted desperately to close the rift between us, to melt the frosty air, but instead I stood silently failing to find the words that could explain my actions.
‘Where’s your cane?’ she asked to break the silence, but there was no disguising the hurt in her voice.
‘Someone else needed it more. Lilah…’
‘Just leave,’ she said. ‘Nothing you say will fix this.’
‘It wasn’t my choice...’
‘You could have stopped it.’
Silence followed as I assessed her words. She was right: I could have prevented the change, but not the obsession with Arianne.
‘How is Arianne?’
‘She is better than when you last saw her. She is normal.’
‘Normal?’ she said with a touch of cynicism. ‘You are fallen angels. The skills of the strigoi are not a gift. They are punishment from God so that you may never rise to glory.’
I knew this day was coming, and though ready for the eventual condemnation, it still shocked me to hear such hate-filled words from her lips.
‘We are not so different.’
‘We are so very different,’ she said her voice raised and brittle.
It was not the time to preach that we were of the same blood that it was the drinking of blood that would make us exactly the same.
‘I’m sorry about Claude.’
I saw her shoulders tremble and knew that this had hurt her.
She turned then, her face in tears. ‘You know what hurts the most. She knew Claude. Why him?’
I explained what she had told me of the boy. Of his misdemeanours of his failing health. ‘She thought she was doing him a service.’
‘It is not true. Claude was a good boy and would never harm anyone. She lied and I just can’t understand…’ She broke down then, her legs buckling beneath her slender frame.
I took her in my arms and she did not resist. The use of the boy still plagued me also.
‘Where is he now?’
‘In the house. I have spent some time teaching him about us. He is confused and does not like to take the lives of animals, let alone humans. Does that sound fair to you? Yet if I am to believe Lewis, there is nothing I can do!’
There was nothing. This was not the time to tell her that letting Claude die was perhaps kinder than what she finally accomplished. He was forced to be something his heart and soul did not desire.
She grabbed hold of me then fiercely. ‘You must get me away from here. I do not belong. I will not be party to killing. This is not me. Please tell me you haven’t lied about my choices. I am a healer. How is it that you, as strigoi, are given the powers to heal, yet you use your powers to take away the lives of others?’
‘Lilah…’
‘What have we here?’ Arianne had slipped into the room unnoticed.
Lilah turned away to stand once again by the fire releasing herself from my grip.
‘Come, come now my young friend. I am not much changed.’
‘See if Claude agrees!’ she said, bitingly.
‘Claude? I have done him a huge favour don’t you think? He now has the gift of immortality. It could not have worked out better for all.’
‘Get out. I do not know you anymore.’
‘Unfortunately I am here to stay so we will have to learn to live together once more.’
Not if I can help it. I could not usually read Lilah’s thoughts but this message came through loudly perhaps for my benefit.
Lewis
The boy was proving adroit. He studied the witch speak, carefully examining the words. I believed he would grow into a fine and loyal strigoi although his youth did not yet give him the confidence to hunt; killing animals and only those older drunken men who did not put up much fight.
Lilah entered and looked concerned to find us both there. She was not appreciative anymore. Very soon I would have to do something about it. It was nearing her time for the change.
Claude rushed forward, pleased to see her. But then as quickly as he entered her embrace he withdrew again. He had smelled her blood and it confused him and Lilah knew this too.
Their relationship was damaged and the hierarchy changed. Though Claude was two years younger, he was above her in power and strength. Lilah noticed it too and drew back also.
‘Claude,’ I commanded. ‘Leave us now.’
Claude left the room avoiding eye contact with Lilah. He was unused to these thoughts of blood.
‘As you can see, even with the rules, an untrained strigoi may fall, making it unsafe even as a witch.’
‘Then let me go.’
‘I can’t do that.’
‘Gabriel promised.’
‘Gabriel makes many promises. There are girls of all races throughout the world who have heard his silken tongue and believed it.’
She did not flinch as I expected her to but her chin tilted upward in defiance.
‘I know he meant those words when he said I could go. It is you who tells lies and he believes you.’
‘Very interesting, considering that Gabriel has been to see you so rarely. He is a fickle one and besotted with his new wife.’
I could see that these words had cut her and I was both pleased and bewildered by her small frown. Her disinterest in me made her even more intriguing.
‘So you see, he really doesn’t care what happens. He knows the rules when he brings a witch here – that it is I who determines whether they leave or stay.’
‘Or die.’ Her eyes narrowed and for the first time I believed she hated me.
‘Oh, I see,’ I said struggling to hold her gaze. Her eyes seemed to burn into my own. ‘The servants have been gossiping.’
She looked fearful then.
‘Don’t worry, no-one will be punished. You have seen where some non-conformists have been buried but it not as simple and heartless as you think. Most of those were so weak that to let them free again our position would be revealed, and we cannot allow that. It is about continuation.’
‘So you killed them.’
‘What else was I to do?’
‘Then I guess I must have to die for I wish to leave and as you can’t trust anyone…’
‘No. I cannot trust anyone.’
‘Then my fate is sealed as I will not be made a strigoi.’
It had been many years since one had challenged me with such effect. I w
as beginning to see that the shield that protected her excessive moralistic ideals would never be broken, yet I could not let such intelligence go to waste.
‘There is one thing I can offer you and you can remain here as a witch still with the freedom I have granted you. If you were to be my wife, and bear me a child then your life will be spared. For I see no wish to destroy one who now carries the knowledge I entrusted to you.’
She seemed to tremble then and her eyes closed involuntarily. Her legs looked like they might buckle beneath her.
‘I cannot…’
‘You do not have to decide straight away.’
Lilah
I ran blindly down the stairs and into darkness, with the sleet blowing hard against my skin. I wore just a linen dress without a coat but I did not care that anyone would find me or that I might freeze to death. Inside the castle, my life was already over.
Without thinking I headed for the people I once trusted. I had never seen their house before but my sense of direction had been strengthened over time, as well as my ability to listen to the thoughts now in my head that would guide me to them. Those noises meant nothing when I had first arrived but now I carried enough skill to interpret them.
It was several hours before I reached their house and looked through the window to see that Gabriel stood in the centre of the room in meditation. His eyes opened suddenly wide. He had felt me coming. He had been waiting.
I sank to my knees, the cold and wet seeping through my bones. The door opened and I heard him step beside me in the frost. I was only vaguely aware of his strong arms around me guiding me inside where a fire burst forth suddenly from the hearth. Now that Arianne was a strigoi there was no need for warmth.
He took me near the flames and shrouded me with a blanket. He spoke my name with such tenderness and I felt his lips once again on mine.
‘Gabriel…’
‘Hush. I know what Lewis has said to you. You will come to no harm. I promised you that but I also know now that if I make you mine he cannot touch you.’
‘But Arianne?’
‘She is not for me. We cannot be together when I am in love with another…’
Lilah Page 17