by J. L. White
“All right.”
We roll up our cuffs and Rayce goes to pick out a cue stick while I rack us up for Nine Ball, the variation we both favor.
When I come back to the table after hanging up the rack and getting my own stick, Rayce is leaning on his stick, watching me.
He drops his eyes, then picks up the chalk. “You’re doing a good job here, Connor,” he says, prepping the cue stick. “You stayed when we asked you to, and you didn’t hesitate.”
I soften in spite of myself.
He blows on the end, puts down the chalk, and glances at me. “I haven’t forgotten that.”
Then he leans down, takes aim, and makes a clean break.
I keep my eyes on the movement on the table, sighing and giving in. What can I say? He’s my big brother. I think I’m always going to forgive him, just like he always forgives me. I’ve done my share of things to require forgiveness lately, too.
The only thing he sinks is the cue ball. I take it out of the left center pocket, evaluate the table, and set it where I want it. He’s waiting for some sort of response from me. I sense it.
I look at him. “You suck at pool.”
He smiles and I take my shot.
As we play out the game, we’re more settled with one another if not still a little raw. Not for the first time, I wonder if we’ll ever be the way we used to be. We keep doing this—fighting and making up, fighting and making up.
But even when we make up, it seems there’s something significant going unsaid.
Even I don’t know what it is.
Or how to start trying to find out.
But for now, I’ll settle for a game of pool. That’s something, at least.
Chapter 14
Whitney
I’d originally planned on walking the grounds a bit after lunch—which our waiter informed us was “courtesy of Mr. Rivers”—and checking the place out, but instead I head back to my little bungalow and do some searching. The deaths of Grant and Sharon Rivers were just a blip in the national news scene, but there’s been quite a lot of coverage locally.
Grant and Sharon Rivers Missing Several Hours; Ship, Bodies Found
Cause of Death Confirmed in Tragic Rivers Case
Thousands Mourn at Touching Rivers Funeral
Prodigal Rivers Son to Jointly Inherit
Trouble in Paradise? Rivers Resort Struggling
Faithful Guests Rally Around Young Resort Heirs
I read every article, and every comment. It almost feels sneaky, getting information from newspapers and commenters instead of from Connor himself, especially since sometimes what I’m reading is contradictory, inflammatory, or clearly just speculative, but I can’t stop reading.
I examine every photo, particularly those with Connor in it. There’s a close up of him and his siblings, side-by-side and facing their parent’s caskets, grim and resolute. I have to wonder what it would be like to go through something so personal and horrible while reporters look on.
When my phone rings and it’s Connor, I almost feel like I’ve been caught doing something wrong.
“Hi,” I say.
“Well hello, Whitney.”
I smile. He sounds good. I’m tempted to ask him about his parents, but instead I say, “I still can’t believe you’re here.” And not just here, but here. Living here. Grounded.
“You shocked the hell out of me earlier,” he says and I laugh. “It was so great seeing you.”
“You too, Connor.” So good.
“Well, I’m hoping you have time to get caught up a bit. I don’t know what your schedule’s like, but I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to.”
“I’d like that, too. I have Nadim’s game tomorrow morning, and Sunday I meet with a new family I’ve been working with, but other than that...” My mind and body are humming in nervous anticipation. Connor’s here. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself here, but it’s hard.
“So that means you’re free tonight?” he asks.
My knees actually bounce a bit in anticipation. “Yes.”
“Are... you free right now?”
I smile. “Absolutely.” I don’t know what he has in mind, really. It may be that we catch up and say our goodbyes and that’s it. I firmly tell myself not to expect anything more.
My heart is more honest than my mind, and is thumping hard anyway.
“Excellent,” he says. “Where are you staying?”
When I tell him, he says, “Good choice. Okay, so what would you like to do? It’s early for dinner, but we could get drinks somewhere and talk first. Or I could show you around Swan Pointe.”
“Or the resort?”
“You want to?”
“I didn’t get a chance earlier.”
“Sure,” he says, sounding pleased. “I can give you the grand tour. After I could take you to Martini Ranch, if that’s all right. They have great food. My treat.”
“Oh no, no, no. You already bought lunch. Which, thank you by the way. That wasn’t necessary.”
“It was my pleasure. Did you enjoy it? What’d you get?”
I run down what we each had and quite honestly praise it as the finest meal I’ve had in a long time. I’m eager to see him though, and eager to talk face to face instead of over the phone like this. I almost ask about his parents. I’m anxious to know how he’s doing, but I want to ask him in person. “Shall I come back up there now?”
“I’m already on my way.”
I laugh. “You are? You’re so impulsive.” I love that about him.
“I want to see you,” he says.
My heart beats thickly and I take a couple steadying breaths. I still can’t believe this. I can’t believe he’s here. I can’t wait to see him. “Me too,” I say.
“Well come on out, because I’m almost there.”
“Should I change?”
“No, you’ll be perfect.”
By the time I get my purse and slip on my heels, he is, indeed, pulling into the parking space next to the bungalow, facing the ocean. I lock the door and walk over to him as he turns off the car and gets out. We both break out into huge smiles and three steps later I’m once again in his arms as we give each other fierce hugs. This time we linger, hanging on to each other.
“It so good to see you,” he says in my ear.
“You too.” I don’t want to let go.
We both exhale deeply and squeeze one last time before finally releasing each other.
“You look great,” he says, smiling at me.
“You too. I almost didn’t recognize you. You look really different in a suit.” Really hot.
He laughs, leading me around to the passenger side door.
“Your beard is gone, too.”
He rubs his bare jaw with his hand and says, “Yeah. It wasn’t to code.”
He opens the door for me and I climb in, smoothing out my skirt. I wonder if I should ask him why he’s working at the resort again—as if I don’t know—or just come out with things. By the time he’s settling in behind the wheel and giving me a warm smile, I decide I need to be frank.
“Connor,” I say gently, “I heard about your parents. I... read about it.”
His smile fades a bit and he says, “Ah.” He nods and looks out to the ocean.
“I’m really sorry.” I put my hand on his forearm, the suit coat thick between us.
He smiles and turns toward me again. “Thanks.”
“How are you doing?”
His smile falters before he hitches it back on. I suspect he’s about to give me the standard American answer: I’m fine.
“Really,” I say.
He gives me a serious look then. I give his arm a gentle squeeze. “It’s been rough,” he admits, nodding. “Kind of a nightmare at first, honestly.”
We end up just sitting there in his car, while he tells me his side of the story. He tells me about the horrible way he found out, something they thankfully managed to keep out of the papers, and how things have been
since then. He gets choked up a couple of times as he recalls those early days, but I just rest my hand on his arm and listen, something I’ve learned the grieving need more than anything else sometimes.
“But…” He takes a cleansing breath. “You know, we’re doing a lot better now. More good days than bad.”
“That’s good,” I say, nodding.
“Yeah. Life goes on, right?”
“How are your siblings?”
“Lizzy’s doing okay. Rayce is... I don’t know. Rayce is Rayce.” I’m surprised by the slight edge in his voice and want to ask him about it, but he continues on and I don’t want to interrupt. “Then we’ve got the whole resort thing to sort out.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well... you know I walked away from it all before.”
I nod.
“Now I have a stake in it. When it first happened I stepped back in because, obviously. They needed help.” He’s already told me about how hard he and his siblings had to work at the beginning just to keep the family business afloat. “But there are these clauses in the trust. They’re allowed to buy me out, if I decide I want to sell my share.”
“Ah.” I have a sinking feeling, but try not to let it show. I give him a gentle, teasing smile. “Are you tugging at the leash again?”
He doesn’t answer at first, and I can see we’re talking about something pretty serious. Dammit.
He lets out a sharp breath. “Yes. I’ve been here eight months.” Two months longer than he’d stayed with his old girlfriend in Australia, not that I’ve thought about that or anything. “It’s the longest I’ve been in one place since I left and, yeah. It’s...”
He lets out another breath and rubs his forehead. I can almost see it, the wild animal pacing its cage in there.
“It’s bugging me,” he says finally. I sigh. Not the answer I wanted. “But, at the same time, I can’t imagine leaving again. I’m not sure I want to.” My heart lifts slightly at this. “In some ways, it’s been nice to be home. To be with Lizzy and... to be with family. And the work is more engaging than it used to be. Maybe because I’m not just doing a job for my dad this time.” He shrugs. “It feels important now. We’re trying to keep their legacy alive, you know? So I have all these reasons to stay and they’re pulling on me too, but...” He looks at me, a soft pain in his eyes. “I’m not sure I can stick it out for the long haul without going insane either.”
“So,” I begin slowly. “What would that mean for them? If you wanted to leave, would you be able to, like you did before? Did they have to replace you the first time?”
“Yeah. I was still in college and just working seasonally, so it wasn’t a big deal, as far as that goes. But... if I left again it would take a while to find a replacement. It’d be an executive hire, which always takes longer. And...”
He frowns out at the sea.
I wait, not wanting to push him. I don’t know what to say anyway. I’m a confusing swirl of thoughts and emotions myself right now.
“It’s—” he stops, then continues. “It’d be bringing in someone from the outside to act as an executive and that would be a first.”
“Because the family business has always been in the family.”
He nods. “Right.”
“What do Rayce and Lizzy have to say about it?”
His expression gets tight again. “They’ve said it’s my choice.”
“They’re not trying to push you one way or another?”
“No. They... just want an answer.”
“What are you going to do?”
He sighs and pushes the button to start his car. “I have no idea.” He backs out and onto the road.
I sigh and settle back into the seat. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems to me that the wandering boy hasn’t gone anywhere. If I had to place bets, I’d say they won’t be able to keep him down forever.
“Okay, I think that’s enough of that,” he says lighter, as we head out. He gives me a grateful smile though, and I think he’s glad we talked. “I want to hear about you now.”
“All right, but first I want to know about Corrine. How’s her cancer?”
“Still clear,” he says, with a genuine smile.
“Thank god.”
He nods and turns onto the street that climbs up the bluff to the resort. “She’s doing great. She even went back to school full time last fall. Her mom wanted her to just finish her degree online, but she wanted to go back to Hartman, even though all her friends have graduated by now. She’s almost done with this school year, then she just has one more year to go.”
“Good for her.”
“Yeah. She’ll be home for the summer in a few weeks.”
I remember she was living with his parents when she came back to work part time after her second round of cancer. But with his parents gone… “Where’s home for her now?” I ask, admiring the resort as it comes into view. It doesn’t seem real that this is partially his.
“Lizzy has our parents’ house now. It came to all three of us, and Rayce and I just wanted to sell it, but Lizzy wanted it so she bought out our shares. We would’ve just given it to her, but the trust doesn’t work that way.” He shrugs, pulling around the side and going down a ramp to underground parking that’s marked Valet Only. “Anyway, when Corrine’s home, she still stays there. They’re kind of best friends anyway, so it all works out. We’ll be putting her to work at the resort too, I can tell you.”
I laugh. “I’ll bet.”
He drives to a section of the underground parking garage marked for employees and pulls into a spot with a plaque in front that reads: Connor Rivers. Rayce and Lizzy’s spots are right next to his, and both are occupied. She drives a cute BMW hybrid.
“Okay. Now you,” he says, turning off the car.
“Now me what?” I say as we climb out.
“Now you tell me all about you. I’ve been talking enough.”
I smile as he leads me to an elevator bay. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
The elevator dings and the doors slide open. We look at one another, pause a minute, and start laughing. “Uh, this brings back memories,” I say as we climb in. Oh god, I’m getting all tingly just thinking about being in an elevator with him.
“Just a few.”
This elevator looks different than the one in Spain, of course. The back of the car is glass, though the only view we have right now is cement.
He pushes the highest number—ten—and as the doors close he takes my shoulders and gently turns me to face the glass. “We’ll start at the top,” he whispers in my ear. “It’s the best way.”
Oh, yeah. Definitely tingling now. God, I don’t know how I feel or what I think about any of this. All I know is there’s still a connection here. Still a draw. But Connor’s the same wandering boy he’s always been. Isn’t he? Do I really want to go down that path again?
The car starts to move and almost immediately, the back opens up to the outside. We’re facing the rear grounds of the resort. As we rise higher and higher, the many pools and beautifully landscaped surroundings are laid out before us. Higher still and my eyes are pulled to the vast ocean just beyond.
“Wow,” I breathe.
“Pretty, isn’t it?”
I just nod, taking it all in.
The elevator stops and the doors open. “Come on,” he says, putting his hand on the small of my back just for a moment. “You can see more from over here.”
We exit not to a hallway leading to hotel rooms, as I’d expected, but to a luxurious lobby area framed in rich, dark wood. There’s a massive crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, and—directly in front of us—the entrance to the resort’s famous five-star restaurant, Commoners. I’d forgotten it located at the top of the resort.
The lobby stretches away a bit to either side, is lined with massive windows, and has several doors leading out to a covered, stone patio. Connor gives a wave to the hostess at the hostess stand, bu
t leads me out to the patio. “I would’ve brought you here for dinner,” he says as we step outside, “but I wanted more privacy than that. Too many ears.”
We step out onto the patio, where there are a few people hanging out with their glasses of wine, and go to the heavy, stone railing. We’re rewarded with an even broader view than we had from the elevator.
“Okay,” he says, leaning close to me and pointing in the distance and to the right, away from the ocean. There, the grounds just keep going and going. “Those are the different courts,” he says. I see tennis, sand volleyball, basketball, and a large, one-story building nearby. “Then the golf course is over there.”
I’m not into golf, but it looks like a gorgeous course.
“We can take a cart out there if you want to see it all up close, but it’s just as interesting from up here. I’ll take you around the pools and stuff on the ground if you’d like though.”
“All right. What’s that?” I ask, pointing to the building next to the tennis courts.
“Indoor courts. All the same as what’s outside, plus racquetball.”
“Nice,” I say, but I’m taking a closer look at the pools, now. There are several beautiful pools perfect for lounging, plus a lap pool and what looks like a kids’ pool, complete with slides and... “Is that a lazy river?”
“Yeah. I loved that thing as a kid. Rayce won’t let me go on it now, though,” he says. “He thinks it’s an undistinguished activity for the owners. He’s probably right. Maybe.”
I laugh. “What’s that building by the slides?”
“That’s the teen center. It’s full of all these classic arcade games. I think it’d be great if we could expand it to put in other stuff, like bowling and laser tag. See?” he says, leaning closer again and pointing. “There’s plenty of room to add on right there. Maybe renovate the whole thing and give it a cool theme, like pirates or a Tiki hut or something.”
I nod, smiling at his enthusiasm. Maybe when he said he enjoys working here, he wasn’t just saying that. “Sounds great. Are you going to do it?”
His expression dims a bit and he shrugs. “Maybe eventually. Right now it’s… kind of hard to make changes. Rayce and Lizzy have mentioned a few ideas they have too, but it’s only ever been in passing. I don’t think we’re ready to get serious about anything like that.”