The Complete Death Du Jour Mystery Collection

by Hillary Avis

  “Oh no! Anything but that!” He held up his arms in mock defense. “I’m going to wine and dine you until you forget all about it. Come on, I have my car in the parking lot.”

  “I can’t, sorry. I have to go up to the estate this afternoon.”

  Milo’s face fell. “You have plans with Ryan?”

  “Not exactly.” She glanced over her shoulder. Kimmy was just flicking off the lights; she and Viv must have finished the last of the prep for tomorrow. It was time to lock up. “Actually, there is a way you can make it up to me.”

  “I’ll do anything,” Milo declared, his shoulders straightening.

  “Great.” She grinned at him. “How do you feel about washing windows?”

  The drive to the estate was quiet. Bethany could tell Milo had something on his mind, but he didn’t volunteer any information.

  I’m not sure I want to know what he’s thinking, anyway. Whatever was distracting him could only complicate things. Right now, she had to stay focused on getting the conservatory ready for the wedding next week. Nothing else mattered. Well, except Ryan pulling off the museum opening and Charley catching Bella’s murderer, and and and...

  She sighed, and Milo looked over at her sharply. “Everything OK?”

  She nodded. “Just anxious about the wedding.”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll get it done.” He turned the car into the LaFontaine estate. As they approached the stone chapel, Bethany noticed Charley’s car and then spotted her in front of the building. It looked like she was directing the officers there to remove the crime scene tape! They were reeling it up on their hands and stuffing it into garbage bags.

  Bethany gasped. “I wonder if they’ve caught the killer!”

  Milo slammed on the brake and pulled the car over behind Charley’s. “Let’s hope so.”

  She nodded, feeling a huge weight lifting from her chest. “That means Kimmy won’t see all this mess tomorrow.”

  Charley spotted them and waved them over when they stepped out of the car.

  “What’s going on?” Bethany asked. “Did you solve the case?”

  Charley shrugged. “We arrested Ernesto for Bella’s murder last night.”

  “Surname Bautista, yeah?” Milo asked.

  Of course, he’s taking notes. I wonder if he ever has a conversation with Charley that’s off the record.

  Charley looked annoyed. “I’m not your spellcheck,” she snapped.

  Bethany raised an eyebrow. For a detective who had just solved a case, Charley didn’t seem too happy about it. “What’s the matter? Do you think you have the wrong guy?!”

  Charley sighed. “It’s not that simple. Ernesto confirmed everything you told us—about the watch, the painting, the postcards.”

  “What? Wait, you’re going too fast!” Milo said. “Slow down and fill me in.”

  Charley rolled her eyes at him. “Not my job, man. Anyway, the watch was enough to arrest him on suspicion. But he didn’t give us any more information. We still don’t have a smoking gun.”

  “Bella was shot?” Milo asked.

  “No! Geez! It’s a figure of speech,” Charley said. “She was hit on the head, probably with a rock or something like that. I don’t think it was planned. The killer just grabbed whatever was at hand.”

  Bethany nodded slowly. “Then Ernesto is the most likely person to have killed her. I think she was planning to leave him. She couldn’t sell her painting, so she came to get her watch back so she could sell it. They argued, and he bonked her and shoved her into Bernard’s crypt.”

  “What painting?!” Milo asked, stabbing his notebook paper with his pencil. “What’s going on?”

  “Bella had a painting she was going to sell to fund a lavish lifestyle in Europe,” Bethany quickly explained. “But it was fake. So she had to come back to get her watch from Ernesto.”

  Milo scratched his head, scanning his notes. “What watch? Bernard’s watch?”

  Charley screeched in frustration.

  “They had matching watches,” Bethany said patiently. “Bella gave hers to Ernesto. They were having an affair, and he was supposed to use it to buy a plane ticket to join her in Europe, once she got settled.”

  Milo’s forehead creased. “How does that make him the murderer, though?”

  Charley rolled her eyes. “Keep up, why don’t you? He tried to bury the watch once Bella’s body was discovered.”

  “Maybe he’s just upset about her death. If he really loved her, he’d be devastated,” Milo said defensively.

  Bethany shook her head. “I think he was worried about being caught.”

  “The statistics bear it out,” Charley said. “Women are most likely to be killed by their romantic partner. And especially when they try to leave their partner.”

  “I guess Bella cared more about money than about love.” Milo swallowed. “Do statistics bear that out, too? Do all women feel that way?” He looked at Bethany, as though she might have the answer.

  Her stomach churned. Did he really think that was the reason she was having such a hard time choosing between him and Ryan, because Ryan had money and he didn’t? Was that the essence of her choice? Suddenly she felt defensive of Bella.

  “Maybe Bella didn’t go to get the watch back from Ernesto! Maybe she planned to get the matching watch from Bernard’s tomb. She could sell that watch to pay for her flight. Plus, stealing Bernard’s watch from his grave would be retribution for his gift of the fake painting! And she and Ernesto could be together after all. It’s possible that she wasn’t betraying him at all, but was actually taking a risk because she loved him.”

  Milo snorted.

  “Interesting theory.” Charley looked skeptical. “If Ernesto didn’t do it, then who did?”

  Bethany shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not saying he didn’t. I’m just saying it’s possible Bella wasn’t a money-grubbing backstabber, that’s all.”

  “We already know she’s a backstabber,” Milo said coldly. “She cheated on Bernard, didn’t she? With someone he’d known for decades. While he was sick with cancer.”

  True—it didn’t paint a pretty picture of Bella LaFontaine’s character. But wasn’t Milo conflating the two of them?! She wanted to shake him and make him understand—she didn’t want Ryan’s money. In fact, she wished he didn’t have it.

  The police finished bagging up the crime scene tape and stuffed the trash bags in the trunk of one of the police cruisers.

  “I don’t want to release the scene,” Charley said as she watched them. “We haven’t found the murder weapon yet, and it could be anywhere.”

  “Aren’t you in charge of the investigation?” Bethany asked.

  “Yeah. But this came straight from the Chief. The Lazams put some pressure on the department to release the scene so their masquerade guests wouldn’t see crime scene tape all over tomorrow. Half of me is pretty glad about it, though.”

  Bethany grinned. “I bet you never thought you’d be grateful for the Lazams getting special treatment.”

  “Can they do that?” Milo asked incredulously. “Just tell the chief of police to release a crime scene?”

  Charley shrugged. “They’re the Lazams. They can have anything they want.”

  Milo muttered something under his breath. Bethany thought she caught her name.

  She leaned forward. “What’d you say?”

  Milo threw his hands up. “Ryan gets you, I guess...the Lazams get what they want, right? And he wants you.”

  Something inside Bethany snapped, and she stamped her food. “No, Ryan doesn’t get what he wants just because he wants it. It’s not about the money. In fact, his money terrifies me. I’d much rather he were like—”

  “Like me?” Milo asked bitterly. “Then why not just pick me?”

  Bethany’s mouth dropped open.

  Charley put a hand on Milo’s shoulder. “Dude, this is not a good look on you. What are you thinking?”

  Milo shook his head, his cheeks flushed. “You’re
right. I’m sorry.”

  Bethany noticed the apology was to Charley, not to her. Sorry not sorry, I guess.

  Milo went on, his eyes on the ground. “I’m here to help out with the wedding, not just to hang out with Bethany.”

  She snorted. “Yeah, I don’t really want to hang out with someone who’s going to badmouth people I care about—or badmouth me.”

  “We don’t need your help that bad, Armstrong,” Charley said, nodding.

  His breath came out in a huff. “I said I’m sorry! I’m just frustrated with—with life! I can’t go to press with the biggest story in Newbridge, which is my job. How would you feel if you couldn’t do your job without your friends being upset with you?”

  “Hey, I’m familiar with that problem. I’m a cop, remember?” Charley grinned at him. “But listen, man. My friendship gives you access to insider info, but it doesn’t give you permission to do whatever you want. You wouldn’t even know about the mummy if it weren’t for your friendship with me and Bethany. So stop whining. You’ll get your scoop, just on a slightly different timeline than you want. That’s life.”

  Milo hung his head. When he finally spoke, his voice was small and ashamed. “I never thought about it that way. I’m sorry.”

  He never thought of it that way? How could I ever have believed that he wrote me a love poem with such emotional depth?

  Besides, even if he had written it, his behavior today would have negated any romantic feelings she had toward him. The poem didn’t matter.

  A realization dawned on her. It doesn’t matter who wrote the poem, because it doesn’t matter who loves me. It only matters who I love. Who I can see myself with in five months or five years.

  I have to choose for myself, and my heart points to Ryan. Money or no money, family or no family—my heart chooses him.

  “Will you forgive my tantrum?” Milo looked up at Bethany with a hopeful smile.

  She gave a quick nod. “I’ll look past it if it means you’ll come wash windows with me. I don’t know if we can get it all clean even with two of us, but we’ll take a stab at it. Too bad we don’t have a whole crew.” She chuckled ruefully.

  “Hm.” Charley crossed her arms as she watched Newbridge’s finest milling around in front of the small graveyard, waiting for her orders. “Maybe these boys can lend you some elbow grease. It’s the least they can do for their favorite detective, right?” She flashed a grin and trotted over to the group.

  Bethany glanced over at Milo, who still looked a bit sorry for himself. “Come on, merman. Let’s hit the stables and see if we can rustle up some window washing supplies.”

  He looked up at her, grinning, and snapped his fingers. “You got it, girlfriend.” Then his eyes went wide when he realized what he’d said.

  “I didn’t mean—ugh—you know. I mean it like a girl who’s a friend, not a girlfriend. Not that I don’t want you as a girlfriend, but you know...I can just tell that he’s the one for you.” His shoulders sagged.

  “I know. It’s OK.” Bethany felt her chest tighten with the truth of Milo’s words. Ryan is the one for me. “It’s been a crazy six months. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, and I think you’re right. He’s the one.”

  Milo nodded unhappily as they got back in the car and headed toward the stables. “It’s hard to measure up to someone like Ryan Lazam.”

  “Stop it!” She swatted him on the arm. “What are you talking about? You’re a great guy. This whole thing was my mistake. I’ve been holding myself back because I was worried about what people would think. First because I thought he was unemployed and homeless, and then because it turned out he’s some crazy rich guy and out of my league. I didn’t want to get too close to him and then get burned, and the easiest way to avoid that was to hold you both at arm’s length.”

  He knitted his brows, trying to understand. “Then why keep me on the hook?”

  “Because, like I said, you’re great.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “You’re the guy I’m supposed to love, you know?”

  “But you don’t.”

  “I do. I like you a lot. You’re a great friend.”

  “Ouch.” He rounded the main house and pulled the car up in front of the stables.

  When he finally turned to face her, she smiled at him. “Hey, I need friends. I love our group of friends. I mean, there’s no one I’d rather team up with to celebrate Kimmy and Charley’s wedding than you.”

  “Me, too,” he said. He even looked a little relieved, more at ease.

  “So even if you wrote that poem, I think we can get past our dating history and be real friends, can’t we? We’re not just going to say that we’ll stay friends and then not.”

  His face swam with confusion. “Poem? What poem?”

  So he didn’t write it. Ryan was the author. Her heart thrilled—he was just as in love with her as she was with him.

  She shook her head. “Oh, nothing. Come on, let’s get to work. We have a wedding to throw!”

  Chapter 22

  Saturday

  “HOLD STILL!” VIV GIGGLED as she tried to apply green glittery false lashes to Kimmy’s eyelids.

  Kimmy squirmed in her seat. “I can’t! It tickles!”

  “No pain, no gain.” Bethany grinned at them and adjusted the top on her mermaid costume and checked herself out in Kimmy’s full-length mirror. While she wouldn’t call the purple starfish-shaped bra comfortable, exactly, she couldn’t argue that it made the costume. She picked up her matching sequined mermaid tail and sank into the sofa. She munched on a bowl of flavored popcorn while she watched Viv glue sequins on Kimmy’s eyebrows. “You look great, Kimmy.”

  “I’m just glad we’re doing this a week early,” Kimmy said, trying to keep her face still. “That gives my eyebrows a chance to recover from all this glue!”

  Bethany giggled. “Better you than me.”

  Viv whipped her head around so fast that her high ponytail hit Kimmy in the face. “Don’t be smug—you’re next!”

  “Ha!” Kimmy picked Viv’s hair out of her lip gloss and stuck out her tongue at Bethany. “I’m not the only one who’s at Viv’s mercy today.”

  “You’re going to love it,” Viv said, and glued another gem under Kimmy’s left eye. “Let me work my magic.”

  Bethany eyed Viv’s box of makeup and tools on the side table. It looked full of horrifying torture implements: poky sharp things, potions and vials of what could only be described as goop, and so many colors of glitter that it made Bethany’s eyes cross.

  “OK, your turn in the hot seat!” Viv grinned wickedly.

  Bethany sighed and switched seats with Kimmy. “I’m only doing this because I love you guys.”

  “You’re gonna love me even more when I’m done with you,” Viv said.

  Bethany closed her eyes and submitted fully. She didn’t even want to see what Viv was up to until she finished. After what seemed like an hour of things being wiped and glued onto her face, she felt Viv tugging her hand.

  “Stand up! And Kimmy, stand next to her!”

  Bethany obliged and heard Kimmy giggling nervously beside her. Suddenly she felt a cool mist slide across her belly. She yelped and jumped backward, her eyes flying open. “Hey! What’s that?!”

  “Hold still!” Viv ordered. She was holding what looked like a ray gun out of a sci-fi movie.

  Bethany’s mouth dropped open. “Is that a laser?!”

  Kimmy laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s just body paint, see?” She turned toward Bethany, revealing her own stomach that had been sprayed blue and yellow in a stenciled fish-scale pattern. “Yours will be purple and pink, and then I’ll do Viv’s in red and orange.”

  Bethany had to admit that Kimmy’s body paint looked fantastic. She held out her arms, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “OK, I’m ready.”

  “This is just makeup, not a mammogram!” Viv grinned as she held up a stencil and put a second coat on Bethany’s stomach. The resulting design was so realistic, Bet
hany had to look twice at herself in the mirror. It was only then that she noticed the iridescent pink sequin “scales” that Viv had applied around her eyes.

  “Wow,” she breathed.

  “I’ll say!” a voice said behind her. Bethany turned in surprise—she hadn’t heard the door of Kimmy’s apartment open—and saw Charley and Milo there. Rather than mermaid tails, they wore pirate hats and eye patches, puffy shirts and plastic swords. Charley even had a fake mustache attached to her upper lip. They must have come straight from the costume rental place.

  Charley twirled her mustache menacingly and pretended to catch Kimmy in a fish net, leaning in for the lightest of kisses to avoid transferring any of Kimmy’s colorful makeup to her own face. “You are the prettiest fish in the sea.”

  Bethany snorted. Milo caught Bethany’s eye and gave her a little wave. She waved back at him.

  Good, this isn’t going to be too awkward. After yesterday’s conversation, they’d gone on to wash windows with a bunch of cops until almost midnight, but she wasn’t sure how he’d feel about being dumped now that he’d had a full night of sleep.

  Not dumped. Just not dated. She watched as he greeted Kimmy and Viv, complimenting the details of their costumes, and smiled to herself. Milo was a good person—she couldn’t deny that.

  “I’m glad you two finally sorted it out,” Charley said beside her. “He told me that you let him down easy.”

  “I tried, anyway. I feel bad that I kept him guessing for so long.” Bethany started to chew her lip, and then remembered her fancy makeup and stopped.

  “Ah, don’t worry about it. He enjoyed every minute of it.” Charley chuckled. “I bet Ryan’s happy now that he’s your one and only, anyway.”

  Bethany shook her head quickly. “He doesn’t know yet. I wanted to tell Milo first. Even if things don’t work out with Ryan, Milo and I are better off as friends.”

  “He is a good friend.” Charley grabbed some of the popcorn and tossed it into her mouth. Milo and Viv chatted animatedly while Viv darkened Milo’s eyebrows with a pencil from her torture box. “Hm. What do you think about those two together?”