by Em Taylor
“Oscar, what have I done? I fear I have fallen in love with a man who puts duty above happiness. I cannot do that. I have to be happy. I see Emily and the life she is leading and she is so deliriously happy with Gideon and… so help me, I want that too. Not a man who marries me because he has to.”
She was in love with him? Well that was something. Not what he was expecting. Of course, convincing her to marry him now might be difficult if she thought he was asking her out of mere duty, especially if she ended up with child. While he knew it was less likely while she was breastfeeding, he did wonder how fertile the woman was, given that her husband had not seemed to be very successful in the bedchamber. If he had only managed to consummate the marriage properly a few times and she had fallen pregnant one of those times, then she may be very fertile.
The sucking sound had stopped and Sophia made a disgruntled noise.
“Oh Oscar! You are a scamp. Waking your mama up to feed, then falling asleep almost immediately I put you on my breast. Does this mean you were not hungry and just looking for attention? Hmpf.”
“Leave him between us. Perhaps he was cold,” Jason suggested in the sleepiest voice he could muster.
“How long have you been awake?”
“I just woke to hear you saying that he had woken you up but seemed not to be hungry. I must admit, I am a little chilly myself. Perhaps there is another blanket in here.”
“There is a blanket box at the window.”
“Ah. I shall get it.”
“Thank you.”
“You shouldn’t have to move Oscar more than necessary. Will you let me get you a wet nurse when we get to my father’s estate?”
“In order that I shall not leak over you?”
“No. In order that you are not disturbed at night.”
“That is part of motherhood.”
“Mayhap but you are a lady. There are other options. What is the point of money if you do not take the easier option?”
“Are we going to have another argument, my lord?”
“No. You can choose to have a wet nurse or not. He is your son. I cannot interfere.”
“What if he was your son?”
He brought the blanket over and shrugged. “It is your body, Sophia. I can tell you how I feel but ultimately the decision has to be yours.”
“And if I was married to you?”
He shook his head. “The decision would still be yours.”
“Would I not have promised to obey you?”
“I want a wife, not a horse. I have as many animals to do my bidding as I wish. God gave you a brain. I do not need a biddable little miss. I want an equal. A helpmeet as it were.”
“You do not want me. I am not a virgin. I already have a child. You should take your pick from the debutantes.”
“I do not want a bloody simpering debutante.”
He was aware his voice had risen and Oscar opened his eyes, made a little noise as if he was about to cry, then settled back against his mama’s breast and dozed back off to sleep.
“You upset my son.”
“He has gone back to sleep.”
“Luckily for you, or you would have to have gotten him back to sleep.”
“He likes me.”
“I cannot fathom why.”
“You like me too, even though you are vexed with me.”
“Mayhap.”
“You would if I put my fingers between your thighs and gave you pleasure.”
“What about Oscar?”
“I can put him back in his cradle.”
“I thought you said he was cold.”
“I said he might be cold. I woke up cold, but I think you had stolen the covers.”
“I see. I am to blame.”
“You are. But I forgive you. Give Oscar to me.”
“No. I shall put him in his cradle. Better not to disturb him more than necessary.”
And he watched as she got out of bed and laid her bundle back in the cradle, kissed his head and murmured her little prayer over him.
She was soon back in bed and he urged her against his side.
“Are you terribly vexed with me?”
“Yes.”
“I said a terrible thing about your husband. I am very sorry.”
“I thought you said we could do it in that position.”
“We could. And it can be terribly exciting, but not all the time. Sometimes it is better to be more intimate.”
“I preferred how we did it. I like being in your arms.”
“I like having you in my arms.”
“This is very complicated. What will we do when we get to your father’s house? How will you explain my presence to your father? We can hardly share a bed there.”
Jason sighed. He should have told her this before setting off.
“You need not worry about my father.”
“Why not?” Her hand had moved down and she had found his cock, which was hard. Her fingers were exploring it. Though he wanted to turn her over and sink into her, it was time to tell her about his odd family.
“My father is unwell. I think… well I believe my father may have the same ailment as the King.”
Sophia leaned up onto her elbow. “Rumours abound that the King is mad.”
“Yes they do and I met Prinny at Brighton a couple of years ago. After a few too many ports, I described my father’s condition and he said it sounded awfully familiar. Prinny was in his cups too. Of course, nearly everything to do with the King’s illness is hush-hush, but we discussed it quite openly that night between the two of us. Anyway, my father does not run the estate and is looked after by an army of servants in the East Wing of the house.”
“So you run the estate?”
“Ah, no. My mother cannot have people thinking the Earl is ill and have me doing his business for him. That would never do. She runs the estate. I have tried on many occasions to help and to impose my will on the woman but… well, wait until you meet her. She is not for having anything imposed on her and certainly not by a mere babe in arms like me.”
Sophia snorted. “You are a grown man.”
“Not to my mother I am not. I am surprised she took me off leading strings. I have even consulted lawyers to try to get her to release the reins and let me do the work, since I did go to school and university to learn estate management, but until my father dies or is declared insane, there is nothing I can do. I cannot break my mother’s heart by going against her wishes and having Father declared insane, even though he is.”
“I see. Is he dangerous?”
“Only to himself. He is like a babe. He wanders about without clothing on, in the snow without boots and a coat—that sort of thing.”
“Ah, I understand.”
“As for mother, well she has no room to talk about who is in my bed. The estate steward warms her bed most nights.”
“And you know?”
“Hard not to know. He sounds like a raging bull when he releases and my mother squeals like a stuck pig. Thankfully it is a large house and I have moved rooms, so I no longer have to hear them.”
“Well that is an interesting story. So you will just introduce me as your mistress then?”
“No. I will introduce you as Lady Rutherford, under my protection as Benson is trying to kill you. Then I shall place you in a room near the nursery, which is thankfully near to my room. Then I shall visit you at night.”
“So we shall lie to your mother.”
“No, not lie. Just not reveal the whole truth. I have never told my mother about any of the other ladies whose beds I have occupied.”
“Have there been many?”
He bent his head then and kissed her, pushing his hand between them and rubbing his fingers through her damp folds. When he withdrew he spoke. “None as lovely as you.”
“You speak words of flattery, my lord, but I suspect you say that to all the ladies.”
“No, Sophia, I do not. You are the only one I want. Normally I release and I put o
n my clothes and am sated for a few days. With you, I am sated for a few minutes and then I want you again. I cannot stop thinking about you.”
“I… it is only because we have had to see each other every day because of the snow, Jason.”
“No. You underestimate yourself. How Rutherford could have looked at you and not got an instantly hard cock is beyond me.”
“He never saw me naked.”
“I do not have to see you naked to get hard. I just need to see the shape of your derriere through your gown and I want to tumble you.”
“You do?”
“I want to hoist up your skirts and plunge myself into you from behind.”
“The way Octavius did?”
“Sometimes. Or turn you around and take you against a wall or a door.”
“Jason!”
“Have I shocked you?”
“A little. I do not think I would like Octavius’s position right now. My breasts are too heavy with milk.”
“Hmm, no, but there are other ways. Turn away from me. You are more than wet enough.”
She turned onto her side, her back to him and he insinuated his thigh between her legs, opening her legs, then took himself in hand and pushed into her from behind.
“Oh Jason.”
“Are you well?”
“Yes. I just did not expect…”
He started to move as he slid his hand to her front and found her pearl to massage. Her murmurs of pleasure told him she was indeed well. He thrust slowly, wanting this to last and Sophia dropped her arm back, caressing his head and scalp. He kissed her the sides of her breasts. He peppered kisses to her shoulder, arm and belly. When Sophia started to thrust in a faster rhythm, he knew she was getting closer to her release. He worked her pearl harder. When her internal muscles clamped around him, he had to withdraw and pinch the tip of his cock to prevent his own release, then he moved her onto her back and captured her mouth. He plunged into her, his tongue and cock working in sync. But he was so aware of his need to withdraw. When Sophia moaned again he withdrew too early. He stroked himself while using his thumb on her pearl. She thrust against his caress as he gripped his cock hard and stroked it as if his very life depended on it.
He hadn’t realised he had been holding his breath until his seed shot out of him, landing on Sophia and he let his breath out in a whoosh.
He gathered Sophia’s hips to his mouth and sucked and laved at her pearl while his fingers drove into her wet channel. He needed to give her another release. She tugged at his hair but he was mindless. She tasted so good and he had released before she did. He flicked his tongue hard against the tasty little nubbin and sucked it into his mouth, able to tell from the way she writhed on the bed that she was close.
When at last her body went stiff and wetness flooded his fingers, he stroked her a few more times before crawling up her body and kissing her softly on the lips.
She chuckled as she pulled out of the kiss.
“Jason, I did not expect that. I do not think it is Oscar who is always keeping me awake now.”
“Well, do not be thinking of getting some buxom old wet nurse to take care of my needs. I only want you.”
“I shall consider it.”
He chuckled and rolled off her grabbing the linen from the bedside table and wiping both their bellies, opening her legs and cleaning between them.
“Let us sleep. We can talk more in the morning or when sir wakes you back up.”
“You have demoted my son a few ranks, my lord.”
“I do apologise, my lady.”
She snuggled into his chest. “I would only allow you to demote my son in rank.”
He ran his hand through her tangled hair. He could tell by the little snort she made she was already asleep.
“I would never demote your son. Already I love him as much as I love you.”
Then Jason laid his head on the pillows to sleep the sleep of a well contented man.
Chapter 14
It took three days until Maggie was well enough to travel. Three days of fretting in case infection would set in. Three days of worrying that walking would always be a problem, even though the doctor said her problems were caused by bruising around the site of the bullet hole and not because of any damage done.
Sophia checked Jason’s wound, even though he claimed it did not ail him. She could see him grimace when he thought she was not looking. He had hit it against the door frame that morning and gone deathly white. She had asked him to take laudanum but he refused.
Now they were in a carriage going to the Northcolt House, the Earl of Ashgate’s principal seat. The travel was very slow because of the snow and ice. Lady Ashgate had sent two carriages at her son’s behest. They were only 2 hours from Northcolt on a good day, but because of the road conditions, it was going to take them the best part of the day to make their slow and winding way through the mud, slush, ice and snow.
Oscar was in his basket on the opposite seat, Dickson, Alf and Maggie were in the carriages behind with the two drivers from Northcolt driving both carriages.
Jason had taken time out from muttering about the dreadful road conditions -could someone not invent something better to make roads less likely to flood-to pull her close, kiss her neck and fondle the top of her stocking.
“My lord. What if the carriage gets stuck again?”
“Then the driver shall have to wait until I remove my fingers from your delicious cunny, lick them clean and get out and help to push.”
“Jason!”
He grinned. “I keep shocking you, do I not?”
“Your language is appalling.”
“What would you like me to call it? Your special place?”
“I would prefer you not refer to it at all.”
“Oh but you like when I lash my tongue across it, do you not? And when I did that thing last night…”
“Jason. Yes, I enjoyed that very much. But I prefer you not to talk about it?” She buried her face in the collar of his woollen coat and he chuckled.
“You are embarrassed when I talk of it when we are alone but not when I do it?”
“That is different. I am consumed with passion then and I believe I lose my mind to allow you to do such things.” When Jason moved his hand to the juncture of her thighs, she opened her legs and leaned forward on the seats without thinking. He eased his middle finger through her damp folds and she moaned.
“You mean, consumed like this?”
“Stop, Jason.” She wanted him. She really did. He withdrew his hand, confusion marring his handsome features.
“What is the matter?” He lifted her chin with the hand that had been just up her skirt. She could smell her own arousal on him.
“I do not want to arrive at your family seat looking tumbled. I have already been in this gown for days. I must look like a bedraggled street hawker.”
“You look beautiful to me.” Sophia opened her mouth to protest but Jason carried on. “However, I do understand your concerns and I would not make you feel uncomfortable when you first meet my mother. I may think you look delicious when you are freshly tumbled but my mother may have different ideas. However, please do not for one moment think I intend to be celibate once we get there. I intend to tumble you at every opportunity.”
“I thought you said you would only tumble me at night.”
“That was to placate you. I plan to tumble you as often as we can be alone.”
“Jason, your mother shall find out.”
“I really do not care. I intend to marry you soon anyway.”
Sophia blinked then scowled at him. “You do?”
“Yes.”
She gazed out the window for a long moment, trying to get her roiling thoughts into some sort of order.
“I was correct.”
“About what?”
“When I woke up in your bed in Lord Whitsnow’s house. You are an absolute brute.”
“I am?”
“You just throw your weight around, m
aking decisions for others. You take the aristocratic air too far, Lord Jason Rose-Reid. You may think a lady wishes a man to protect her and to an extent, we do sometimes when a scoundrel is trying to kill us or our child, but we do not need a man making all our decisions for us. Were you planning to ask me if I wanted to marry you?”
He looked at her, confusion etched in the lines at his eyes. “I… I… well I assumed…”
“Do not assume, my lord. I am not long widowed. I am just discovering who I am.”
“Who you are?”
“Yes. I was always the daughter of Viscount Beattie, then the wife, then widow of Lord Rutherford. Now I have the chance to find out what I like and want.”
“You do not want me?” His voice was flat as he turned his head from her to stare out of the window.
“I cannot say. I do want you. I…” She waved her hands in frustration. She could hardly tell his she thought she might be falling deeply in love with him.
“And if you are with child?”
“It is not terribly likely is it?”
“I do not know, Sophia. I was not in your marriage, but you have had intimate relations with me. Only once have I left my seed in you. How many times did your husband leave his seed inside you? I mean, surely now you know the difference.”
“Twice. Both times when we did it outwith the bedchamber.”
“So you seem to be quite fertile. There is a good chance you may be increasing as we speak.”
She sighed. “I have enough money to care for another child.”
“My son or daughter shall not be a bastard.”
“I am sure you have left a trail of bastards across England with the many lovers you have had, my lord.”
He turned to her. Even in the dark of the carriage she could see his eyes glinting with restrained anger. “I always withdraw and most women know enough to prevent conception.”
“You did not withdraw with me.”
“Because I lose my mind around you!” He was shouting now and gesticulating wildly. Sophia shrank to the corner of the seat—not because she feared his anger but because she believed him unaware of just how wild his mannerisms had become.
“Why?”
“Because I love you, you bloody stupid woman.”