by Thomas Baker
"That was a pretty weak 'yeah'," Gus said, getting serious. "You do remember she sicked zombies on us and then tried to blow our brains out? She must have been one tough little child, if she was surviving out here all on her own."
"Well she's not surviving anymore, is she Gus?" JT sighed. "Even though I use to joke around with my friends about how awesome a Zombie Apocalypse would be, and if I'm honest, how part of me thought all this was cool the first few days, I would like to think I am a good person."
"Doesn't the fact that you feel bad about what happened, even though it was an accident, make you a good person?" Gus countered.
Dusty came back in. "It's clear. I don't know how she was doing it, but it looks like she was here on her own."
JT got up and stalked out the door. He stop and turned back to Gus. "Let's get those fucking precious supplies and head back. I think I'm done here."
Ashley awoke on the cold dirt floor. He must have knocked her out again and dressed her. She was now wearing the wedding gown. The thought of what else he could have done while she was out made her skin crawl. She started to shiver uncontrollably. She wanted to tear the dress off, tear it to shreds, but her hands were bound behind her.
"Darling, stop. You don't want to ruin your pretty dress." Harold was suddenly towering over her. He seemed like a giant to her. She had a weird flashback to a book they had to read in Comp. 101, Gulliver's Travels.
"Now that you are ready, we can begin the ceremony."
With that statement Harold wrapped his beefy arms, hard from manual labor, around her. He lifted her up over his shoulder and carried her across the room. She tried to block some of his stench by breathing through her mouth.
"Here we go," he said hoisting her into the air.
Tremendous shooting pains, worse than anything she could have imagined existed, shot through her back. She screamed and screamed, tears streaming down her face. She looked down, her feet dangled over the white tub. Crimson streaks started running down her legs, between her toes, and dripped, dripped, dripped. She was mesmerized by the sight of her own blood. She didn't know it could be so bright red. She watched in a daze, as he grabbed her hand and began to hum the wedding march again. She felt the pain start to fade away. Then things went dark for the last time.
JT felt like the trip back to the cabin lasted forever. He couldn't stop replaying that last few seconds of his encounter with the little girl over and over in his head. Especially that look of horror in her eyes. She was just trying to survive. After a few attempts to lighten JT up, even Gus fell silent on the way back.
Dusty pulled off the dirt road and parked behind the cabin. Dusk had started to fall. Dusty left the headlights on so they could see as they unloaded the back. They hadn't found much in the town with their search, but Dusty did find the little girl had a pretty good stash. JT didn't think he could stand to look at what they had brought back, let alone touch it, so he went inside.
He walked in, surprised to find Hannah visibly agitated. Harold sat on the couch, holding his head in his hands.
"What's up? What's going on?" JT asked.
"It's Ashley, she's gone missing," Hannah said, crossing the room quickly to JT and falling into his arms.
"How can she be missing? She was still hobbling around."
"It's a bit confusing," Harold jumped in. "I guess there was a misunderstanding that Hannah was out and thought I was watching over Ashley. I went out to do some hunting because I thought Hannah was staying to watch Ashley. I don't know why she would have left the safety of the cabin though."
"I don't think it matters why she left," Hannah said, sounding desperate and on the verge of tears. "We just need to find her."
"OK," JT said, secretly relieved to have something to do to take his mind off what happened in town. "I'll tell the others. I'm sure we can get Mike to help too. Is Alan around?"
"I don't think that is a good idea," Harold interjected.
"What?" Hannah turned to look at Harold, shocked.
"You must have forgotten," Harold continued plainly. "It's understandable, with your friend missing. I have reset the traps and defenses around my property. If you all go stumbling around in the dark, then I am afraid someone else might get seriously hurt."
"You’re not suggesting we leave her out there all night, alone?" Hannah fumed.
"No, of course not." Harold stood. "Mike and I will go. Mike has been here the longer than any of you. He has been out with me and knows most of the layout. I bet we will be back in ten minutes with your pretty friend."
Harold collected his hunting jacket and rifle and left. Mike followed without protest, stopping to put a hand on Hannah's shoulder. She nodded and smiled sadly at him.
JT filled Dusty, Gus and Tyrone in on Ashley's disappearance as they entered the cabin.
"Harold is going to look for her?" Dusty asked.
"You say that like it's a bad idea," Gus pointed out.
"I have a bad feeling about the guy," Dusty said. "If Alan took off, then he was the only one here in the cabin with her during the day. Now she's missing? Seems awfully convenient."
"You really Harold has something to do with it?" Hannah asked. "I've told JT how Harold's creep factor has been lately, but I didn't think it was more than the fact he lived alone. I never thought it was dangerous."
Thomas's warning popped back into JT's head.
"I have to say that for once, I agree with your paranoia Dusty," JT said. "What should we do? He is right about us not knowing about where all the traps are. Now it's fully dark outside."
"I don't care what he says," Dusty headed for the door. "I'm going to have my own look around. If he comes back and wants to know where I am, cover for me."
"We can do that," Hannah said, laying her head on JT's chest. Light sobs escaped from her.
First the girl in the town I… and now Ashley’s gone. Can this day get any fucking worse?
Minutes ticked by after Dusty left. JT, Hannah and Tyrone sat around. Gus paced the floor. No one said a word for what felt like hours. Hannah finally spoke up.
"So I guess it went good in town?" she asked. It sounded to JT less like she really cared about what happened and more like just a way to distract herself.
"I don't want to talk about it now," JT said, knowing he sounded too defensive, but unable to stop himself. "We got some supplies...let's just leave it at that."
Gus came over to Hannah and took a hand. "Now don't think I don't care darlin, cuz you know I do. This old man, as Dusty likes to remind me, has had one hell of a day. I'm all tired out. There is nothing much I can do, so I'm headed to bed. She'll turn up, no worries." He patted her hand and left.
"Gus is right," JT agreed. "I'm sure she is on her way back right now."
Hannah got up and took Gus's place in pacing the floor. JT watched her, hating his feelings of helplessness. Without a word Hannah went into the bedroom her and Ashley shared. JT wanted to go back to her. He wanted to hold her in his arms, comfort and protect her. After what happened in town earlier, he just didn't think he could do that right now. Alan walked in to find him drifting off, almost falling right out of the chair onto the floor.
"How are things going JT?" Alan asked. JT rubbed his eyes, noticing it was beginning to get light outside.
"Alan?" JT said, groggy. "Hey, I was beginning to think you had blown our little popsicle stand. You haven't seen Harold or Mike have you?"
"No, I haven't seen anyone till just now. Why, what's going on?"
JT filled him in. Alan listened intently.
"I guess they have been out there all night, then," Alan said. He tried to be reassuring. "Harold comes off as strange, but the guy is uncanny in the outdoors. He'll find her."
Just then, Mike banged through the front door, looking disheveled. The frown on his face didn't look very encouraging.
JT opened his mouth to ask. Before he could say a word, Mike shook his head. JT felt a ball of acid drop into his stomach. Mike trudged off into the bathroom. JT and A
lan looked at each other. Neither had the words.
"Gus, can I get you to come on a walk and chat with me?" JT asked.
It had been almost twenty four hours since Ashley had been missing. Everyone was tense. Hannah wouldn't even come out of her room now. JT could feel the stress weighing down on him. He wasn't able to relax. He hoped that talking to Gus would help clear his head some.
"Sure boss," Gus said, getting up from the chair. "There ain't nothing good on tele right now anyway." He tried to joke but JT couldn't even raise a smirk.
The two went out the front door, across the porch and down the dirt road that lead out to the highway. He didn't want to go too far because of Harold's traps. Speaking of the guy, no one had seen him since he and Mike got back.
"You got something on your mind there slick?"It's something pretty heavy if I'm reading you right. What's up?"
"I've been thinking about us."
"I'm awfully flattered, but I don't think you're my type," Gus said, raising an eyebrow.
"Us. The group, you old wise ass," JT chuckled in spite of himself. "I don't know why but, everybody looks at me to do the deciding."
"Most of the time, you have a good head on your shoulders kid. You take more than just yourself into account, unlike 'ole Dusty," Gus smiled. "I know I wouldn't want to be in charge of this shit parade."
"I am appointing you as my adviser then," JT said, clapping Gus on the back. "I want to ask your opinion of something and I want you to keep this to yourself for now. Do you think, if we had to go back out there, that we could make it? Because honestly, I don't know how we even got this far. We lost that John guy less than a fucking day after we met him. We drudged on, kicking and clawing our way out of one scrape after another. Now Ashley is gone and we don't know if we're ever going to find her. That is hard enough to deal with. What if something happened to you or...." he paused.
"Hannah?" Gus answered for him.
JT looked down and nodded his head yes.
"On my watch." JT said, finishing his sentence. "I thought we would be safe here..." JT trailed off. He took a deep breath, before making his pitch. "So what do you think? If we leave and go looking for this Safe Haven, do you think we could make it?" JT turned to look at Gus.
"If what we have to look forward to is more of what we faced getting here, then I'm going with no. We stay here. Even after the attack."
"That's what I was thinking," JT said, in a sigh of relief. "I mean we have loose cannon Alan, Tyrone, who is really still a kid, Dusty trying to be the cock of the walk and, no offense, but you're not getting any younger Gus."
"Hey I wake up every morning with a woody, so I'm not out of the race yet. I only told you what you already knew. I have a feeling there's more. What is it?"
JT hesitated a bit. He wasn't so sure he was going to have Gus on his side as readily with his next idea.
"No, you're right. I have one other thing to ask. This is the part that is really between us," JT paused, taking a look around before continuing. " Since we are staying, shouldn't we take over this place?"
"I'm not sure I follow," Gus said, squinting. "What exactly do you mean by that?"
"Harold's made it clear to me we're only meant to be temporary guests. He wants to go back to living on his own. Harold came to me right before the zombie attack and said we all had to leave. As soon as we possibly could. I would never agree with Dusty to his face, but this guy is really starting to worry me. I mean, wasn't it almost psychotic the way he just casually cut Thomas's head off?"
"I can argue that Alan acts pretty psychotic at times. Is that justification for killing and/or robbing Alan?" Gus said, ire rising. "That's what you are asking me right? Would it be so bad to take out one person for the good of the rest of us all? I'd think you'd have to get rid of Harold too. I don't think a fella like that would just say okay, toss you his keys and walk away."
JT watched a squirrel twitch across their path while he thought about it. Gus had pretty much spelled out what he had been skating around.
"You're right, that's what I am saying. We want to stay here, no matter what Harold does. Is that right or is that stealing? What if he attacks us to get us to leave? Kills one of us? Then we can kill him? You're also right, I think we would have to get rid of Harold. Even with what happened with that girl Gus, I'm not a killer. I was thinking of knocking him out, then driving him somewhere far away. Leaving him there was a good amount of supplies and weapons. Hope he never tried to come back."
"Any way you slice it, it would be murder to me," Gus said, his words becoming thick. "I can't have any part in it. If you went ahead and did it, I guess I would have to stay here. Where else am I, the old timer, going to go by myself. I don't think you and I could continue being friends though."
That hurt. JT wasn't expecting such an extreme reaction from Gus, but he was glad to know where he stood. That he could get an honest, no bullshit, answer from Gus. As much as he hated to admit it, Gus was right too. It would be theft and murder. If he was able to take the cabin and Harold left, it would boil down to the same as holding a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. Like he told Gus before, he liked to think of himself as a good person deep down. If it came to picking who would live, Harold or Hannah, he knew who he would choose. Even if that would mean choosing Hannah over Gus as well. With time, Gus may even be able to forgive him.
"Alright Gus," JT said. "I'm still not sure what we should do, but if you have any good ideas you let me know."
"The only good idea I have now is I need to pinch one off. We done so I can get back in time? Nature calls, but I don't want to actually go in nature."
"Gus you sick son of a bitch. Let's go."
When they got back, Harold was sitting on the cabin steps. He was covered in black mud, leaves, and stank worse than a backed up sewer. He motioned at JT.
"JT. I want a word with you."
It was more of a request than a question. JT exchanged looks with Gus.
"See you later buddy," Gus said, heading inside.
Harold started walking back behind the cabin, not even looking to make sure JT was behind him.
Guess I'm suppose to follow him.
When they got to the fuel truck, Harold stopped walking and started in on JT.
"I know we talked about this before, but now you will do it immediately," Harold said, breathless. "Leave. You will take Mike with you as well."
"What the hell do you mean we have to leave? What in the hell is going on? We're are still looking for Ashley!" JT was trying to keep his anger in check as he spoke. "No way are we leaving without her!"
"It's simply not safe here anymore. For any of you."
"Why, because of the zombie attack?" JT was awestruck with Harold's dumbfounded request. Harold had to know they wouldn't leave without finding Ashley first. "Do you think you could have fought them all off by yourself? If we hadn't been here, you'd either be in a zombie's stomach, or one of them."
"You don't know that," Harold said, voice rising. "Who is to say you and your friends didn't attract them here in the first place? Anyway, I am not talking about zombies now. They are not the only danger."
"Then what in the hell are you talking about?" JT stopped, trying to calm himself down. "We aren't leaving until we find Ashley. End of story."
"You and your friends. Your rudeness knows no bounds," Harold continued, ignoring what JT just said. "I found your friend Dustin sneaking around in my private things." Harold's face was turning scarlet and veins started sticking out on in his neck. He was just about shouting at this point. "You will all leave tonight, or I can't be held responsible for the consequences."
JT grimaced, cursing Dusty in his head, but he pressed on.
"Look, we can't just leave yet. I appreciate all that you have done. I know everyone in my group does. You didn't have to share with us, but you did. All I can do is apologize if we stepped out of line. There has to be another solution though. You and me, we can work something out. We have to stay u
ntil we find Ashley, either dead or alive."
"I'm done here. Don't say I didn't warn you," Harold turned and walked away.
JT stood there, fuming, his fists were white knuckle tight. Thoughts of jumping Harold and beating him into submission filled his head. Then the little girl's horrified face and the sloppy sound of flesh hitting pavement flashed through his mind. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Instead of following his impulse, he strode into the cabin.
"Hey everybody, listen up," JT hollered. He could see Tyrone, Dusty and Gus. He guessed Hannah was still in her room. He waited until he had their attention before continuing. "We need to have a group meeting tonight. Right after dinner. We have some things we need to decide. Pass it along to anyone who is not here right now."
"What about Alan? Do we need to go searching for him?" Tyrone asked.
"You mean he is already gone again?" JT was shocked. Too much was going on too quickly.
"Yeah," Tyrone continued. "He stopped in long enough for a drink of water and went back out to look for Ashley. Guy's like a machine."
"Shit. Dusty, come with me. We'll see if we can find him," JT pointed at everyone else."I don't want anyone else wandering off alone. Try to stay in groups of at least two for now. Got it?"
They all nodded in puzzled agreement.
"Make sure you keep Hannah safe," JT added as he and Dusty headed out the door.
Alan combed through the woods with reckless abandon. He was exhausted but driven. He would find Ashley. He owed it to his girls.
He didn't really think Harold had the time to reset most of the traps, he was just blowing smoke. So far he hadn't found or tripped any. Why would Harold say that? Alan didn't know. The dude was out there. Takes one to know one, he thought with little humor. That night, when the zombie attack happened, Alan didn't think he could do to Thomas what Harold did. If he could have worked up the never to kill Thomas, it wouldn't have been so nonchalantly.
While searching for Ashley, he spent time contemplating the last couple of weeks. It distracted him from going down the rabbit hole of memory. He liked belonging again, when his guilt would let him. He thought he was picking up a vibe that everyone was ready to settle down at the cabin, long term. He didn't think he was ready to do that. That would mean carrying on with life like it was before. Accepting that his wife and kids were truly gone.