Vince shook with anticipation, trying to keep her lifted and pinned to the wall as his finger danced on the edge of no return, seducing as he was seduced. “How,” he breathed in a demanding growl, gripping her thigh like he wanted to remove it and take it home. “Tell me how you want me.”
“I… I…”
“You can have me, Bella.”
When Killian’s firm knock on the door interrupted them, Fallyn’s eyes flew wide open. A tiny bleat of panic escaped her lips that yearned for more of his. “He’ll know!”
Vince deflated slowly, lowering her feet so they touched the floor. “No, he won’t. It’s okay, prezioso. Breathe.” He lowered her to her chair and brushed her hair over her shoulder so it didn’t look like she’d just been ravished. He moved to the door, smoothing his hair and rolling his shoulders back to feign ease. He cracked open the door to speak to Killian. “We’re almost finished. Just bickering over prices.”
Killian looked past Vince to his sister, whose head was bent over her papers, pen in hand. “Okay. Hurry it up.”
Vince shut the door and turned back to Fallyn, who was touching her lips in confusion. “How did… We just… But you can’t… How?”
Vince shed his mobster persona he needed to keep handy to ensure his people stayed loyal and protected. He turned her swivel chair sideways to face him and knelt before her, holding her hands and kissing the tips of her fingers as if they were too breakable for a full squeeze. “This is happening, so let’s not try to deny it next time, okay? I’ll find ways for us to be together in secret, so your brothers don’t have to get involved.”
Fallyn’s heart banged in her chest like an alarm warning her of the danger ahead. “That’s not possible. You know it’s not. Your family hates mine! Mine hates yours! One of your men held me at gunpoint just yesterday! You have a girlfriend you’re living with, Vince. Even if all those other things magically fell away, this isn’t right. I’m not the other woman, and you’re making me be that girl. The girl who kisses some other woman’s boyfriend. Don’t make me cheap. Don’t make me less.” She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his. “You should like me because I’m more, and push me in that direction, even if it doesn’t get you what you want.” Her lips brushed against his once more, and she nearly lost her resolve. “Be a good man, Vince. I see you trying to be one by making peace with our families. Go the whole way. I want that for you.”
Vince kissed her in earnest, a pledge to do better. “I can be that man, Fally. I can be the one you’re proud of. I can be the man you deserve.”
Fallyn kissed Vince, slow and gentle, lacing all the things she knew he could be into each brush of her lips. “Do it for Papa D, not for me.”
Emotion welled up in Vince like a festering volcano just waiting for the right trigger to push forth an explosion. He choked a tearless sob into her mouth at mention of his deceased father. “I will, dolcezza. I will.” He kissed her again, holding her fingers tight, afraid to let go. “When can I see you again?”
Fallyn shook her head. “No. I like you too much. The deeper I get, the worse it’s going to hurt once everyone and everything tears us apart.”
Vince stood slowly, stroking the curve of her cheek and looking on her face with more longing than he’d come into the office with. “I’ll make you proud, amore mio. You’ll see.”
21
Quiet Walks and Silent Talks
Fallyn meandered through her day on rubbery legs, consumed by a whirlwind of emotions. She kept her pleasant smile firmly affixed, but inside she was replaying every detail of Vince’s declaration and each painfully glorious moment their lips made a beautiful mess of things. She left the store in the evening to attend the ritual of family dinner, which she was not looking forward to. She hated keeping things from her brothers, and after her last altercation with her father, all she wanted to do was run.
Hiding was not an option, so Fallyn strode into her childhood home with her chin level to the ground, a smile on her face and a box of cupcakes for dessert. She set them down on the counter she’d cooked many a meal in. “Good to see you, Daddy,” she pushed out when she saw the hesitance in her father’s eyes.
“I’m not yer daddy,” he corrected her with a grumpy expression. “I don’t have a daughter. Only boys. Seven boys.” He called over his shoulder for his wife, who had been dead for two years. “Sheila!”
Killian pushed past his brothers and placed a hand on his father’s shoulder. “Dad, this is Fallyn, your daughter.”
“I don’t have a daughter,” Patrick repeated. “Only boys.”
Fallyn hung her head, feeling like she’d been punched in the gut.
Declan wrapped his sister in a hug she tried not to need. “Don’t worry about it, kiddo.”
“I hate when he doesn’t know who I am. Why me? Why does he always forget me and not you guys?”
Declan hooked an arm around her and brought her into the living room that was always cluttered with too many knickknacks on the mantle. “He forgets Keenan, too, because he’s been in jail a few years. It’s because he had you later in life. He’s had an extra decade to burn us into his memory, but pretty soon he’ll slip on our names, too. It’s dementia, Fally. It’s no reflection on how much he loves you.”
“I know.” She bit her lip to keep the sting from becoming too visible. The expansive ranch-style home smelled of pine and Lysol from the overzealous maid. Fallyn tried not to focus on the breathing machine in the corner of the living room next to her father’s old brown recliner.
Her six brothers were arguing like children at the table, which brought a level of genuine joy to Fallyn’s broken heart. They greeted her with hugs and kisses as if they hadn’t seen her in years, though most of them she’d seen that very day. Her pleasant expression remained in place until Carrigan kissed her cheek, then it fell to disrepair in the next second. “Whoa. What’s wrong, Fally?”
Fallyn reassembled her smile when the eyes turned to examine her. “Nothing. Just business stuff. Could we go on a walk before dinner? I have a few shop talk questions.” She knew it was a bad lie. Carrigan was the cop, not the restaurant owner. He didn’t have many useful tips on the subject of running her store.
“Of course.” He shoved his brown shoes back on and opened the door for his sister, walking down the front stoop and out onto the street that was bedecked in greenery. Tall trees promised to conceal her secrets, but Fallyn knew there was no way to be sure her brothers couldn’t rattle the truth out of them. “What’s up?”
“Remember when Mama died, and we didn’t want to talk about it?”
Carrigan grew serious, scratching an itch on his chin as he spoke. “Yeah. We went for walks together instead while everyone else talked. Miles of silence. Helped more than most things. You sad about Mama?”
Fallyn shook her head. “Not today. I just have a lot going on and wanted to go for a walk and not talk about it.”
“Okay. Any hints?”
“I think I stepped in something I shouldn’t have. I’m worried I’m making bad decisions.” She bit her lower lip to keep from confessing anything more to the brother who had been her closest confidant growing up. She reached out and held Carrigan’s hand – a thing she did only when she was scared. She knew if she kept on this subject, she would confess her feelings for Vince to Carrigan. She switched to the second most upsetting matter that weighed on her. “It breaks my heart that Daddy doesn’t even know who I am sometimes. One day he’s yelling at me, and the next he doesn’t know me. Rough pill to swallow.”
Carrigan pulled her closer as they walked side by side. “I know. It breaks all of us to watch him go downhill this fast. He took a swing at Killian the other day for no reason at all.”
Fallyn buried her head in her brother’s shoulder, wishing there was only one horrible thing to dwell on. She was certain that if Carrigan knew the men she’d been making out with, he would never forgive her. A stranger to Carrigan was one thing, but Vince? She ruled the risk of Vin
ce wasn’t worth it. It was an impossibility. James might be possible months from now if they were strong enough together to face her family. But it would take time, and she wasn’t sure how long she could keep the darker secrets of her family’s deeds away from him and still be able to call it dating. She closed her eyes, trusting Carrigan would lead her somewhere safe. “Will you always be my best friend?” she asked holding tight to his hand.
Carrigan kissed the top of her head. “Unless someone cooler comes along, yeah.”
She smiled – a real one this time, and she could feel particles of herself reassembling from where Vince had blown her senses clear apart. “What if I do something to make you mad? What if you find out I’m really this person who makes horrible choices? What then?”
Carrigan gripped her fingers. “I guess I’ll have to figure out a way to get past whatever it is. But it sounds like a big ol’ lecture’s coming your way when whatever it is surfaces. Maybe don’t do things you know are going to bite at you.”
“I think it’s about time for the ‘quiet’ part of our quiet walks.” She held onto her brother while they walked through the neighborhood they’d grown up in, the silence doing more to calm her than a lecture ever could.
22
Tesoro Mio
When the next morning came, Fallyn was a bundle of nerves as she waited for seven o’clock to roll around. Instead of the garrison of O’Keefes lurking about, only Killian waited with her for the delivery truck.
The D’Amatos had the same sort of idea about the level of danger involved in delivering desserts. This time only Angelo brought them, giving Killian a firm handshake when he hopped down from the truck. They exchanged short words (Angelo had never been one for small talk or niceties) while they unloaded the truck.
“How’s your arm?” Angelo inquired of Fallyn as he strolled into the kitchen to retrieve her pastries and move them into his truck.
Fallyn waved off his concern. “Barely a scratch. I’m totally fine.”
He was quiet a moment as he observed her obvious lie. “I really didn’t mean to hit you. Thanks for not pressing charges.”
“Thanks for not aiming for me. You’re a good shot.”
He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Killian was outside. “I have a message for you.” He grabbed her wrist and put an envelope in her palm. His black eyes held a note of warning as he gripped her wrist too tight for comfort. “Whatever this is, think long and hard before pursuing it.”
He knows, Fallyn fretted, her stomach churning. “I made it clear there would be no pursuing anything.”
Angelo nodded once. “Good. Make it clearer. Vince needs to be on his game. He’s got a lot going on and a lot’s changing. Things are finally starting to go well for him. There’s no need for him to throw it all away for a piece of Irish ass.”
Fallyn’s mouth drew in a tight line, her eyes narrowing into a fiery glare. “Let go of me, Angelo. No one’s getting any part of my Irish ass, that’s for sure. I’m glad things are going well for Vince. I want that for him. I want him to do well.”
Angelo scrutinized her face for signs of a lie, but could find none. “Okay. So long as we’re clear.”
She yanked her wrist out of his large hand that she had personally seen choke the life out of many a person who proved to be a problem. “So long as we’re clear, you don’t get a say in my life. What I do with my time and my ass isn’t up to you. That you’re talking to me about this instead of Vince shows how little you respect either of us. You think I’m the scared little pushover who’ll do whatever the big man says, and you think Vince is a dummy who can’t see danger when it’s staring him in the face. You want Vince to do well? Treat him like a man. Talk to him directly instead of trying to scare me away on the side. Show him the basest amount of respect, and maybe everyone else in your territory will, too.”
Angelo’s eyes widened at her moxie. He didn’t speak for several seconds, and Fallyn hoped her mouth hadn’t gotten her into yet more trouble. When he finally addressed her, he seemed impossibly tall and forbidding, as he always did, but this time there was a note of secrecy between them. “I can do that.” His intimidating stare usually made people squirm, but he could see Fallyn had grown used to it over the years. “Not many people would dare to talk to me like that. Not the wisest thing.”
She clutched the letter to her breast. “Yeah? Well, I’ve been up to all sorts of unwise things. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it already. Talk to Vince. And when I say ‘talk’, I really mean listen. He’s got a lot going on, and he needs someone to talk to about it. Instead of trying to control the situation, listen to him and help him where he tells you he needs help.”
Angelo swallowed hard, unused to being bossed around by a young girl. “Okay, Little Keefer. I can do that.” He lowered his voice. “I can tell you care about him, which is something Maria’s never done. I’ve got nothing against you, and so long as your family isn’t a problem, I’ve got no problem burying the hatchet. But understand that you’re playing with dynamite. Dynamite always blows up, no matter how careful you are with it, and no matter how okay with it everyone says they are.”
Fallyn nodded, extending her hand to him to shake it. “Understood. Thanks for caring about Vince. I don’t think he’s got enough of that in his life. I know that’s what drove you to try to scare me away today. But even though it’s coming from a good place, my name’s not Little Keefer anymore, and I can handle myself.”
Angelo nodded. “Understood.”
After Angelo left and Killian waved her goodbye, Fallyn locked herself in her office and opened the letter with trembling fingers.
Tesoro Mio,
I won’t tell you that I miss you or that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, because you’ve asked me to stay away. I won’t tell you that I was up all night fighting back the urge to deliver the goods to you myself this morning so I could try to convince you we could find a way to make this work. I won’t tell you that you’re beautiful, or how much I want to be with you far, far away from this mess our parents made for us.
But I will tell you I heard you. Papa D let the drug runners in, and they’ve stayed despite the fact that we’re not in that business anymore. Last night I started my men on taking care of that problem. Soon our streets will be safer. I heard you when you told me to be a better man, and I’m working on that.
Killian moved the location for this week, and I had no reason to contradict him that wasn’t obvious. I’ve been imagining you in that red skirt you have. I live for the once a week days I get to see you, even if it’s only from afar.
Until then,
Yours.
23
A Good Little Business Woman
Fallyn’s week was filled with work, which was how she preferred it. Business was steady throughout the next week, though not nearly as overwhelming with the addition of her employees. The bakery was closed on Sundays, so she spent them volunteering at the hospital as she’d done before opening the bakery. She also spent a few hours taking day-old muffins she’d had frozen at the end of each day down to various Narcotics Anonymous meetings that were in neutral territory. Though she couldn’t solve all the problems of the world, she could help Vince’s people in that small way. There were so many who struggled with the constant reminder of addiction. With the drugs flowing freely for so long, it was difficult for most of them to resist, even though Vince had stopped doling it out to Papa D’s regular stream of dealers. A few were getting it from other sources outside of Fairfield, and those were harder to snuff out.
During the next week she studied her business’ books meticulously and made adjustments to the ordering and staff hours to better reflect a growing business. The number of custom cakes grew daily, and before the week’s end, she had to hire another baker to work on only the custom orders. Fallyn started sleeping whole nights at home instead of falling asleep at her desk, which overall made her smile less of an effort to locate.
&nbs
p; Fallyn tried to focus on one clandestine budding relationship only, talking to James on the phone at night before she went to bed. She was firm in her stance that Vince should throw himself into his work, making his territory the best it could be. Though she yearned to hear any bit of news about him, she kept her head down and her mouth shut, lest she run where she wasn’t allowed.
When Monday morning finally came, Fallyn pulled out the flowing red skirt she knew Vince had pictured her in. All of her skirts had a modest length that cut just above the knee, but there was something about the bold color and the way the fit showed off her tight waist that made her feel scandalous. Her cerulean blouse highlighted her blue eyes and showcased her curves without giving her away completely. As she examined herself in the mirror with hopeful eyes, her heart began to sink. She had told herself, and Vince, that they needed to stay away from each other. Yet here she was, flirting with her clothes.
Fallyn made to take off her red skirt with a heavy heart when her phone chirped. “Hey, Loretta. What’s up?”
“Honey, I think you might want to come in early today. I’ve got your dairy guy here, and he says you only ordered eight dozen eggs, but I know that’s not right. And there’s no way you didn’t order any cream.”
“Stall him, Loretta. I’ll be there in ten.” Fallyn snatched up her purse and drove to the bakery without another thought of the skirt she had worn for all the wrong reasons. When she walked into the bakery, gangly twenty-two year old Johnny was standing with his arms crossed as Loretta stalled him by reading over every line on the order sheet three times over. “Hi, Johnny,” Fallyn greeted him in a bright and breezy tone. “What seems to be the problem?”
Exploding: A Mafia Romance (The O'Keefe Family Collection #1) Page 13