by Annie Dyer
“You realise you don't need to make it any easier for us to kick your ass, do you?” Max said. “When's the last time you actually won a game?”
“When you lost.” Max had never actually beaten me at poker, not in a couple of years. Whatever poker face he tried to put on, I could always see straight through. “I'm happy to take your money off you anytime.”
Max laughed, and added his own ten-pound note. “I'm assuming that we're going to put all the winnings into the same fund for this boarding school in the middle of nowhere?”
“Damn right.” Killian's voice boomed through from the kitchen area. “I'll write something new today about the age that a girl gets her first boyfriend. In Eliza’s case, It'll be at least thirty.”
Nick, Killian’s brother, and another member of our rugby team looked up and shook his head. “I've already told Katie that none of our girls will be allowed out until they've graduated from University. No reason for them to leave home to go to uni, they can learn remotely.”
“And what did Katie say to that?” I knew exactly what Katie would have said to that; something sympathetic but ultimately managing his expectations so they were realistic.
“She told me it wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.”
Killian frowned. “What did she mean by that?”
“I'm not sure. I decided I was better off not asking.”
Eli topped up everybody's whiskey glass. My father had sent over three bottles of expensive Scotch, one of which was already empty. “I think your wife meant that you’d have very little say in what your daughters eventually do. Just like you've got very little say in how Katie spends your money, what your house looks like and where you go on holiday.”
“That's a fair point.” Nick conceded pretty quickly. “The only time I actually get to make a decision is when I'm at work.”
“That's called ‘being married’.” Jackson looked at Eli. “There's still time, you know. We’ll help you find a way out. Tell Ava that you mysteriously disappeared when you went to get more whiskey from the cupboard. She'll understand, and she'll meet someone else.” Jackson looked far too amused.
Eli gritted his teeth, and threw his cards down. “I'm out. And honestly, I can't wait to marry your sister.”
There was a bit of a hoot from Owen and Killian, a few comments flung about sisters and black eyes, and the odd threat from Jackson. It was all in jest; my brothers were far too scared of Ava to actually interfere, and Eli was the best player on our rugby team.
I sat back, and tried to concentrate on the card game, the conversation around me descending into piss taking and attempts to get a rise out of Eli.
Normally, I would’ve joined in, but I just couldn't find the words.
That seemed to be the problem lately.
“What's up with you?”
I’d gone into one of Eli’s spare bedrooms and gotten into bed about one in the morning, having had enough to drink and gotten sick of glancing at my phone to see if Georgia had sent me a message. Newsflash: she hadn't.
Max had stopped drinking a few hours ago. It was Victoria’s first night on her own with the baby, and he wanted to get home to make sure she was okay, and so he could give her a break in the morning. I wasn't convinced that Vic was that bothered about that. Max had been incessantly over-protective since Lucy was born and Vic had just about managed to get him to stop phoning every thirty minutes to check she was okay when he was at work. At one point she’d come into the office and threatened to stop answering her phone whenever she saw his number or a withheld one, if he didn't tone it down to calling just twice a day.
That had put him in a bad mood for the rest of the week.
“What do you mean what's up with me?”
Max sat on the bed, the mattress bending under his weight. “Fuck off, Seph, you know what I'm talking about. I haven't seen you sulk like this for years. What's happened with Georgia?”
I sat up and leaned against the headboard, closing my eyes and wondering if it would feel any better if I told Max what she'd said. He'd been through some shit with Vic back when she didn't know whether or not she was going to stay in England or move abroad. They'd never split up, but there had been time where he was a grumpy bastard - or rather, grumpier than usual - because he had no idea whether or not he'd be spending half of his time somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, travelling over to see her.
My brother loved to take the piss out of me. He'd find any way possible to get a rise, to wind me up and get a reaction. But, at the end of it all, I knew he had my back.
“She’s said she wants to slow things down.”
Max grunted, which was the noise he made when he wasn't entirely sure what to say, which was most of the time, unless he was ranting about something.
“It was when I asked her about going to Ava’s wedding, and she said that she basically thought things were moving too fast.”
Max shook his head and then ran his fingers through his hair. “Why can't women be more fucking simple? Why do they have to overthink shit and make things more complicated than what they need to be? Victoria does it all the time, thinking too much about stuff that she can just take at face value.” He shook his head again, a bit like a wet dog would do to get dry. “She hasn't ended it though, has she?”
“No,” I said. “But I'm not sure how long it'll be until she's put me in the friend zone.”
Max looked at me, as if he was appraising a car and seeing if it was a decent buy or not. “Do you really think she will? She's introduced you to her daughter, you've spent a ton of time with Rose and she's not going to have done that if she wasn't serious about you.”
“So why want to slow things down? If she was sure enough to have let me get to know her daughter, then she must be pretty confident that it was serious, or am I just being a complete fuckwit?” I was leaving myself wide open here for Max to make some insult.
He ran his fingers through his hair again. “Are you sure you've not said something stupid, you know, broadcast the idea, made some comment about not being ready to, I don't know, settle down or learn how to use a baby seat or something?”
“I really don't think I have.” It was my honest answer. I'd spent the last few evenings going through almost every conversation that I’d had with Georgia, trying to work out exactly what I’d said or what I’d done that’d made her want to stop things from getting any bigger any quicker between us. And I couldn't come up with anything. There had been the whole thing with Cassie, but even there I could safely say I'd not done anything that I thought would jeopardise what was happening between me and her.
“Then it might be that she's just not as into you as what you thought she was. I'm not saying that to be harsh, Seph, she just might not be in the same place as you are right now.” Max looked sympathetic, his expression was sad, and that made me feel even worse.
“What do I do? Do I let myself get friend-zoned? Do I make some grand romantic gesture? Or do I back away quietly and we just become friends and colleagues? This is fucking shit, Max.” I leaned my head back against the headboard, glad that I wasn't in my own bed because that would make me feel even worse.
“Maybe you've just got to give it time. Not everything’s straight-forward, especially not women. For all you know she'll be sat there at home now, wishing to god she’d not said anything, and she wants things back to how they were before. She’ll probably do a complete three-sixty before the end of next week.” Max got off the bed and stood up. “I need to get going. I know Victoria can manage absolutely fine without me, she's doing amazing with Lucy, but I just want to get back home to be with them, you know?”
I did. I understood it more than what he realised. “I think our days of late-night poker and falling asleep on sofas are pretty much behind us now.”
He nodded, and then yawned. I pitied Vic. “Eli’ll be in father club this time next year, I’d put money on it.”
“Lucky Eli.”
Max's grin was wry. “Is that w
hat you want, Seph? A family? You look at us with our sleepless nights and everlasting changes of nappies, spotting baby sick on our shirts just before we’re about to go in to a meeting?”
I laughed because the sick thing had happened that week. Max had just been about to go into a meeting with a client, one who brought an awful lot of business, when he sniffed, made a face, and realised that he was wearing some of Lucy's breakfast. Stale, regurgitated breast milk did not smell that good.
It’d been one of the highlights of my week.
“Yeah. I think it's probably the most important thing to me to have a family of my own. Not that it was hard with Georgia because it was like a ready-made family already, but Rose was hardly a problem. Is hardly a problem.” Because it wasn't over yet. We hadn't split up. Slowing things down was not the same as splitting up, I had to remember that.
I got out of the bed, needing to get a glass of water before I went to sleep, and potentially see there was any of that crispy beef left.
Max headed towards the door, the sounds of the others filtering through towards the guest bedroom.
“It'll work out,” he said. “If it's meant to be, it'll happen. And when I've seen you with Georgia and Rose, you've looked the part.”
“The part of what?” I expected some form of sarcastic reply, or insulting at the very least.
“The right part for them.”
He pulled me into a hug that I wasn't expected, a forceful one that probably would have killed somebody smaller than me. I hugged him back, aware that this didn't normally happen between us. I was putting it down to Max’s maternal hormones running wild.
“I hope you don't hold Victoria like that. You're like some form of Black Widow spider, crushing its prey.”
Max stepped back and grinned, only slightly evilly. “I could tell you exactly what Victoria likes, but then I'd have to kill you.”
“Nah,” I said, definitely not stopping the equally evil grin that was now on my face. “I’d forget what you said. A bit like I forgot that time when I saw your phone and she sent you a tit pic.”
Max’s face altered from concerned and full of brotherly affection to murderous. I slapped him on his back a couple of times, really not remembering that picture. “It's alright bro, I never told a soul.”
He ignored me, and walked out of the room, leaving me to get a glass of water and to try and stop thinking about the one person I wanted to be with.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Georgia
Baby Tomas was clearly going to take after his dad in terms of height and build. I don't think I'd ever seen a baby quite as stocky and as sturdy as Payton’s new baby boy. But as much as I could see his father in him, he was the spitting image of his Uncle Seph. This shouldn't have been too much of a surprise given the fact that Payton and Seph were twins, but Tomas had Seph’s eyes rather than Payton’s and an expression that reminded me of Seph when he was plotting something.
“He's gorgeous,” I said to Payton, holding the baby to me. His eyes were open and he was gazing up at me, a little smile on his face that made him look just adorable, even though it was probably because he had wind.
“He looks like my brother.” She didn't sound too happy about the fact. “I really wanted him to look more like me, or Owen, but now Seph's all peacocking because his nephew looks more like his son.”
I laughed. I'd already heard Seph bragging about how the baby looked more like him than Owen. I knew why he was doing it; he was trying to wind up Payton and Owen, rather than being actually bothered. Although he was over the moon about the baby, and when I'd seen him holding Tomas, smiling down at him and whispering things that none of the rest of us could hear, I'd wanted to snatch back the words I'd said last week and swallow them.
“So what's going on with you and Seph? You're not coming to the wedding - we all hoped you would.” Payton was particularly good at getting straight to the point.
She and my sister had met once a few weeks ago and they'd immediately hit it off. They were both a little bit abrupt, both slightly dramatic, and both lacked a certain filter. Maybe that was why Seph and I managed to get along, we’d both survived siblings who were very similar.
“I'm taking Rose to see my mum in Spain.” It wasn't an excuse; it was something I really wanted to do, although there was a part of me that wanted Seph to come with us so she could meet him, and I could introduce him as something more than just my colleague and a friend who I’d been seeing.
I was just too chicken shit.
“Combine the two.” Payton's eyes were fixed on her son, although she had not made any gesture to say she wanted to take him back yet. “You can do both. and then you can stop Seph from being such a miserable bugger.”
“He's miserable? He's been pretty much the same with me.” Although we'd only slept together twice since I told him that I wanted to slow things down, and both times have been in the office. He hadn't stayed over at mine since. He hadn’t asked, and I suppose I hadn't suggested it.
“Seriously?” Payton gave me a look that suggested she thought I'd lost my mind somewhere in the Thames. “He might have been trying to put a brave face on in front of you, but he's been moping about everywhere. Whatever you said to him has really thrown him.”
I knew she was hinting for me to tell her what’s been said.
“I told him we needed to slow things down.”
“Why?” Her response was immediate. And short.
I shrugged, staring back at the baby and smiling at him. He really was perfect. “I'm worried we've been moving too fast. We were spending most evenings together, and Rose kind of took it for granted that he was always going to be there. I guess I didn't want either of us to get too used to him being around in case he changed his mind.”
Payton managed to raise one single eyebrow high enough so it looked like it was actually going to get lost in her hair. “Do you really think my brother was going to change his mind about you? Do you really think he’d have gotten so attached to Rose and have let her get so attached to him, if he didn't intend to stick around?”
“I wasn't sure.”
“Really? Seph's many things, but he isn't stupid, and he isn't unkind. He knows the effect it would have on Rose if she got used to him and then he disappeared. Georgia, he's absolutely crazy about you, and I guess it's only been a few months, but sometimes that's all you need to know.” She sipped at the herbal tea she'd ordered, still caffeine free, which I found rather admirable.
“I was with Rose’s dad for nine months when I found out I was pregnant. That's longer than I've been with Seph for. That's all I've got to compare it to.” I rearranged the baby in my arms. He was a decent weight already, and I hated to think what he was going to weigh in another few months’ time.
Payton looked out of the café window at the street that cut towards Borough Market. “Is Seph anything like your ex?”
I laughed, the comparison between them almost impossible given how different they were. “Nothing like him.”
“So why think that what you've got with Seph is going to turn out anything like what you had with him. For a start, if you got pregnant, I'm pretty sure Seph would throw a party.”
The waitress behind us spoke overly loudly to the people at the table there, giving me a few extra seconds to think of how to respond. Baby Tomas gurgled happily, and I let my mind go to that place from where I'd been trying to stop it from straying. The idea of Seph with our baby.
He was amazing with Rose. He was amazing with all of his nieces and nephews: fun, patient, kind, but I'd also seen him be firm and not let any of them get away with too much. I knew he would be a great dad, and that thought did more to my insides than even holding Payton’s baby boy.
“Oh, shit. Someone's broody.” Her smile was the same level of evil as what I'd seen on Maxwell Callaghan's face when he deliberately moved Jackson’s car and hid it.
“I'm not broody.”
Peyton laughed. “I promise I won't tell Seph tha
t you only want him for his sperm.”
I groaned. At some point she’d say exactly that to her brother. I just hoped his reaction would be the right one.
Rose’s reaction when the doorbell rang was a little like what you would’ve expected if it had been Santa Claus in the middle of July. She leapt off the sofa and raced to the door, putting most hundred metre sprinters to shame. Opening the door was not something she was allowed to do, but she knew she could look through the letterbox and see who it was, which was exactly what she did to see if this was the person she was most looking forward to laying her eyes on.
“Seph’s here, Mummy!” She stood up and did a little jump for joy. “Can I let him in? Is he going to stay tonight so you can both walk me to Elspeth's tomorrow?”
My heart sank quickly to adapt at such a rate I was pretty sure it was getting the bends.
“I don't think he can, Sweetie.” I leaned over her and opened the door, spotting that brown head of hair belonging to my colleague, first giving her a big wide grin and then toning it down to me.
He hadn't mentioned anything about us taking it slower since I brought it up with him. He hadn't asked anything about why I wanted to, or tried to persuade me not to; he’d just respected what I said and slowed things down, letting me take the lead. A lesser man, I knew, would have seen his arse and backed away completely.
Seph hadn't. But given what his sister had said, and the fake smile he wore on his face now, I knew I'd hurt him.
“Seph!” Rose flung her arms around him.
He scooped her up, as easily as he normally did, and twisted her round, making her giggle, which was still the best sound in the world. “How's my favourite flower?”
She giggled again; for some reason any comment he made about her name made her laugh. “I'm not a flower! I'm a girl!”
He looked over her head at me as I stood there, staring at them.
“But would a flower by any other name smell as sweet?”