by G. P. Moss
Geth’s unmoved.
“Where you lot are going, you’ll have no need for your splendid machines.”
As he walks off, the Duke offers a parting, stinging blast from his manky old gob.
“Ah, found you out at last! You just want them for yourself, to ride and to sell, probably. Yes, uncovered your ungentlemanly motives, I have; dastardly corruption, that’s what it is!”
Chapter Eighteen
Planet Frelsh (There’s a lot happening)
Francoise inspects the hurriedly, but marvellously created prison cells.
He wants 2 in case there are more arrests.
“Geth, have Aled and Cadfael transfer the prisoners to the right-hand cell.”
“What about their handcuffs, Captain?”
“Search them then release them from the other side of the bars. You should have a laser lock on your belt.”
Geth smartly marches off in search of the 2 engineers tasked with the transfer. It’s not ideal but French-Welsh is severely understaffed since the sudden defection to the land of jelly leaves across the way.
*
Billy Duke, curled up in a corner of the cargo hold, is spitting broken bricks.
Metaphorical rubble of course.
Even his massive gob cannot accommodate building materials.
“When we escape from these French or Welsh or hybrid lunatics, I swear to exact revenge for this trussing up of our glorious and tough gang!”
Billy Roscoe shuffles up close to his leader.
“Billy Duke, do you still have that mini ray gun you took from Pedro?”
“Ssshhh! I have it hidden, you crazy fool!”
From a few feet away, Buck B Tucker and Woody Carson can just about hear the conversation between the 2 Billies.
Billy Roscoe has not quite mastered the art of whispering.
Buck speaks to Woody from the corner of his mouth.
Now that is how it is done in tight situations.
“Did you slip the chip?”
Woody corners back.
“Yes, of course. It is useless without it. The power light will come on so it will look like it is armed but nothing else will happen.”
“It might have been useful, in this situation, for it to have been working properly.”
“I know but, well, you know what the Duke’s like when he’s in a mood. I thought he might shoot us!”
“Do you have the chip with you?”
“Yes, I have it in my pocket.”
“Move it, in case they search you.”
Buck stares at him like he’s daft.
“How, like? My arms are locked behind my back.”
“Oh, yes, sorry.”
*
The gang are marched down the cargo ramp.
Cadfael is getting fed up with the group’s antics.
“Stop that zigzagging and hurry up!”
Huckleberry offers an explanation.
“We cannot help it, Sir. We were boozed up in a bar and fell off our stools.”
Cadfael looks incredulous.
“What, all of you?”
“Yes, Sir, we are a close bunch.”
The engineer shakes his head.
“Who are you then? Are you aliens? You don’t look much like aliens!”
“We are just like you, Sir, and we accidentally landed here.”
Cadfael plays it cool.
He is not believing any of it.
“Well, once we’ve captured the rest of you, the truth will come out!”
Wayne Duane tries a trick.
“Hahaha, but it is only us mere ultra-sport lost tourists, wrongfully imprisoned, you see. There are no others where we crash landed.”
If the Duke hadn’t had his hands tied, Wayne would have received the mother of all cuffings.
“Shut your biscuit hole, you crazy fool!”
*
As the Space Dogs Tricycle Gang is put behind bars, Francoise orders his 3 other cruiser crews to search for the missing invaders.
Now Tania has become closer than a risk-taking cricket wicket keeper, he has a responsibility to keep her and the rest of the Magnificents safe.
After all, who knows what that straggly lot may have up their manky leather clad sleeves?
Pedro spots the cruisers approaching but it’s too late to hide.
He prepares his lasers for firing.
Spotting the French-Welsh insignia, he knows these have been his enemies once before.
Damien, reluctantly, has the same thought.
Targeting the 3 cruisers simultaneously, the 2 ex Whistler fighter pilots press their lethal buttons.
Nothing happens.
While the cruisers proceed to land, Patricia’s apologetic voice bangs through their cockpits.
“I am sorry. I thought that disarming your fighter ships may stop my own ship from being attacked by you.”
Pedro and Damien stare at each other, mouths open.
Damien is choking with emotion.
“You never said, even when we pointed our lasers at you, before the warp hole wormhole!”
“We still needed you to guide us through. I am truly sorry.”
Gethin’s voice crashes over Patricia’s belated admission.
“Come out with your hands up. You are on French-Welsh property, illegally and with dastardly intent. You are now under arrest!”
As Damien and Pedro give themselves up, Patricia answers the impatient stare of Geth as he glowers at the cruiser.
“I cannot come out.”
“Why ever not?”
“I am AI and all that is on board.”
“Fair enough. Aled, Cadfael, check the cruiser for others; I do not trust these lot one bit!”
With the techie tech droid pretending to be useless and broken, the engineers declare the ship safe.
“She is telling the truth, Captain. Just a useless, broken droid, nothing else. Something else, Captain. Those 2 other ships are Whistler fighters!”
*
As Gethin transfers the prisoners, he stops still for a moment, his memory providing a clue to their identities.
He points at Pedro.
“You!”
“Who, me?”
“Yes, I know who you are, you and your matey mate there. I saw you 2 during the soon to be famous Battle of Minstrels Gate. You are Whistler fighter pilots!”
Damien, believing he is the more diplomatic of the 2, speaks up.
“Ah, yes, Sir. Sorry about that. We were under orders from Mr Whistler, you see...”
Geth interrupts.
“What is your name?”
“Damien, Sir.”
Billy Duke roars his displeasure.
“You alien fool, you never give your real name, ever!”
“Sorry, Billy Duke.”
Geth calls for Captain Francoise DuPont.
“Captain, this alien’s a Whistler, goes by the name of Damien. And this one is Pedro; thought you’d like to know, Sir.”
Francoise’s face turns a deep, angry red.
“You cowards! You losers! You were trying to kill 2 totally innocent, heroic female fighter pilots. And you lost!”
Pedro’s indignant.
“I beg your pardon, Sir, but Poppy is a traitorous defector and Ariel Hope facilitated her escape.”
“Yes, from a vicious tyrant on a slave driven planet. You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves!”
Damien does hang his head in shame.
Pedro has an idea.
“As combatants, we insist on prisoner of war status, which means extra rations and bigger blankets.”
Billy Duke wants in on it too.
“And for us, too. Yes, we are all prisoners of war!”
Geth’s not amused.
“I thought you were ultra-sport lost tourists?”
Pedro knows where and when to save his own skin.
“Do not listen to those straggly scruffy people, Sir. They are nothing but manky invaders, wanting to find and
punish Ariel Hope and Stevie Lo!”
The prisoners’ infighting, has, of course spilled the truth.
Captain DuPont smiles the grim smile of a thousand fake grimacing smiles.
Dispatching this lot will go a long way to ensuring the safety of Ariel and her crews.
It’s not like Francoise at all, him being a nice man and all that.
But this is war.
And Ariel is now family.
Chapter Nineteen
Planet Frelsh (French-Welsh Alliance Underground Cave System)
Captain Francoise DuPont is a gnat’s butt away from becoming all that he fights against.
His usual, affable, humorous, generous persona of spirit and light is giving way to a base and brutal desire to rid the galaxies of the smelly, manky creatures otherwise known as the Space Dogs Tricycle Gang.
As for Damien and Pedro, well, they will be first up before his unforgiving 1 man military tribunal, with only the most severe punishment on offer as a deterrent to future invading wannabes.
Separating Francoise from this gnat’s butt’s width of moral line crossing is the reason he will not, and cannot change.
Tania.
The story of his life has changed.
Yesterday, his biography’s book cover would feature military prowess, tanks, and heavy armaments.
Today, realising he is head over smartly polished heels in love with the magnificent, new Magnificent queen of his thoroughly masculine heart, the updated book cover would show shades of white and pink with clean feet poking out of a snuggly bed cover.
Lucky prisoners.
Inside the prison cave, Buck whispers to Woody.
“When they searched you, did they find the chip?”
“No, I still have it!”
“How did you get away with such a deceitful concealment?”
“It was in my back pocket.”
“That simple, huh?”
“No, it was an extremely anxious, tense moment.”
“How come?”
“As I was being searched, I felt rough hands near my buttocks so I clenched my cheeks and growled a warning.”
“Wow! It must have been a fierce warning to warn them away.”
“It was. I lifted my left cheek and said, ‘Excuse me, guards, I’m full of gas.’ They whipped their hands away proper quick, like.”
“Wow, Woody, you’re like a proper spy, like in the movie films!”
Billy Duke snarls a comment from across the cell.
“What are you 2 degenerates whittling about, eh? Eh?”
Woody remains silent.
Buck B Tucker’s not so wise.
“Nothing, Billy Duke.”
“I told you, and everyone else. Do not use my real name in here! Call me ‘Duke’ instead.”
“Okay, Duke, sorry, Billy.”
“Tell me! What were you talking about?!”
“Just that Woody’s already a hero here.”
Woody mimes closing a zip across his mouth.
The Duke sees the mime.
He roars his fury across the cell.
“Never mind zipping it, tell me!”
A frightened Buck buckles under the pressure.
But not so frightened as to totally drop them in the cosmic poop.
“A chip fell out of your secretly stashed mini ray gun. Woody found it and is keeping it for you. He hid it during the search.”
“Yes, likely story I’m sure; stole it more like! Where is it now?! Eh? Eh?”
Woody extracts the chip from his back pocket.
Billy Duke is cautiously suspicious.
“How did you get away with it?”
Woody recounts the gas story.
Billy Duke looks sick.
“And did you?”
“Did I what, Billy Duke?”
“Did you gas on my chip, you manky, stinky old duffer?”
There’s gratitude for you.
“No, I just pretended to.”
“Before you give it to me, hand it to Buck to sniff.”
Buck turns a shade of green.
“No, Duke, it’s clear and clean and ready to go.”
Finally, the Duke’s face breaks into a huge manky smile.
Pedro is not amused.
“Hey, that is my ray gun. Once fixed it was meant to be returned to me!”
“Not likely, sunshine hahaha, it’s mine, all mine and I shall get us out of here!”
*
Patricia’s love interest, the techie tech droid, casually exits Beta Zero, mingling with the French-Welsh droids as if he is one of them.
Under strict fake love instructions, he makes his away along the Alliance cruisers, significantly altering the capability of their weapons systems.
A chip here, a chip there.
No one will notice.
Returning to his ship, he is rewarded by a flirtatious wink from the AI love of his droidy life.
Patricia relishes the power.
If those Space Dogs lunatics do not make it out of there, she will take steps to secure her own freedom.
French-Welsh have made the costly, rookie mistake of leaving a top of the range AI intact and on board an enemy cruiser.
The icy, sandy storm howls and batters the planet, increasing both its vicious intensity and the likelihood something terrible is about to happen.
Chapter Twenty
The whirling, swirling dust and driving, battering, balls and sheets of ice, begin to find their way into the French-Welsh Alliance cave system.
As the Magnificents, and the small military units under Francoise DuPont’s command, retreat further inside, the prisoners are stuck, in their unenviable position of chewing on dust, sand, and icicles. These are no soda pop popsicles, but jagged, horrible, cutting pieces of debris and cosmic cleaning solution.
Pedro is incensed at their treatment.
“This is no way for prisoners of war to be treated!”
Billy Roscoe asks a question, after spitting out a small rock.
“What would they do to prisoners on your planet?”
“Ah, my Whistler home would treat prisoners correctly, making them work in the Sparkling Minerals Mine and giving them stale bread and unsafe, filthy water!”
“Perhaps there will be something nice for tea, like giant sausage pastry rolls and massive jugs of black, frothy beer!”
Billy Duke wants some quiet.
“Shut up, both of you. I can hear something above the roar of the threatening storm!”
*
Unbeknown to the Magnificent adults, a few of the more curious children decide to go and take a sneeky peeky stare at the strange new arrivals.
The increasing cold and windy cave system does not put them off their illicit little adventure, as they unknowingly begin a chain of events none of them are tall enough to stop.
As they turn a corner, bringing into view the prisoners’ cell, they whisper excitedly in their magical language.
Billy Duke spots them.
“I knew it! I heard something with my fabulous flappity flappy ears and I am proved correct! Once an adult comes to claim the young candy stealers, I shall seize my chance and free us all!”
Pedro disagrees.
“Do not wait for the adults. With your, I mean my, I mean yours for now, mini ray gun, you can demand our release.”
It just goes to show what a horrible little failed Whistler Pedro is.
Not even the straggly straggled Space Dogs Tricycle Gang will countenance such a manky action.
Billy Duke puffs out his chest and makes it clear.
“I would rather shoot you first, Pedro, than endanger the kids. Get out of my sight!”
“I cannot; we are all stuck here together!”
The Duke levels the ray gun at Pedro’s chest.
“Do not tempt me, alien face!”
Pedro squeaks a terrified protestation.
As the kids gather near the cell bars, the storm increases its brutal ferocity, coming louder,
closer, and frighteningly intent on not stopping for anyone.
*
Tugging gently on Tania’s sleeve, an anxious Magnificent lady demands her attention.
“What is it, dear? You look terrified!”
An understatement.
The poor woman is as anxious as a gambler down to his last penny, on pay day, before he’s even been home, on rent day.
“Some of the children have vanished! My eyes were averted for just a miniscule moment in space time!”
Tania shares her anxiety but declines to pull on anyone’s sleeve.
“Try not to worry. They cannot have gone far in this vast, complicated cave system so should be easy to find.”
Somehow, she does not entirely believe her reassuring words.
A Magnificent child amiably ambles up to Tania.
On this occasion, grassing on his mates is the right thing to do.
“Miss Titania, I heard the other kids excitedly whispering they wanted to take a sneeky peeky stare at the prisoners!”
“Thank you, young child, your help is invaluable in our quest!”
If Tania takes the correct action, with her brain instead of her heart, she will run to fetch someone from French-Welsh Alliance military to aid her.
Unfortunately, she is all heart.
*
As Tania races to find the kids, Billy Duke is enjoying himself immensely, pulling funny faces and poking his manky tongue out between the cell bars.
The rest of the prisoners look on in bemused resignation.
The Duke does not look like an all action hero about to spring them from a high security compound so they can roam the galaxies righting galactic wrongs.
They wouldn’t do that anyway, selfish toe rags that they are.
But Billy Duke is not the leader for nothing. While his cheap party tricks may fool a casual observer, he has a plan.
Spotting Tania as she hurtles around the last bend, he resolves to use his manky charm to set them free.
Billy Duke does not get time to use it.
*
As Tania shouts to the children to come away from the prisoners, they run in panic as a huge wave of rock and ice, storms into the cave system, battering the cell and smashing the bars into a mangled wreck of magically built but cosmically shattered, twisted metal.
A lone child, separated from the fleeing mini mob, slips on the ice.
Tania rushes to help, heaving him to his feet and enabling his escape but as she turns to rush away, she’s grabbed roughly by Billy Duke as behind him, the other prisoners whoop and scream with joy, even as the storm batters them like a dirty water cannon at an anti-establishment rally.