Cole.
Well, shit. He invites Ben to go play with the kids, and then greets me nicely enough, though his eyes are far from welcoming. They look almost calculating. Does he sense something? I mean, I know he caught me staring at her that one time, but any man would. He goes on a spiel about beers and meat, and then proceeds to tell me that there are single moms at the party. Yeah, he definitely senses something. He’s fucking challenging me. Prick.
I take a quick look back at Evangeline, and if looks could kill, that girl would give Dexter a run for his money. Cole doesn’t see it, and she doesn’t notice that I saw it. But damn, she’s glaring at Cole’s back so intensely, it’s almost frightening. Looks like his girl doesn’t want me talking to other women. I can work with that. Make her see what she’s missing. A little jealousy couldn’t hurt my chances with her, right? Hopefully, it’ll push her to the realization that she belongs with me. Of course it could do the exact opposite, but I’m willing to take the risk.
I find my mark pretty quickly. Cole, of course, introduces me to one of those single moms he was mentioning earlier. I’m not going to lie, she’s pretty hot, but in a heavily made up, fake kind of way. She definitely does not abide by the ‘less is more’ rule. She’s wearing a sundress that barely covers her ass and her most likely fake tits are spilling out of the top. She smiles seductively at me when I offer her my hand, which she keeps in hers a little too long. She’s definitely interested.
I pretend to be enthralled in whatever she is talking to me about. I nod when I need to, laugh where she thinks she’s being funny. But I honestly have no idea what she’s saying. How can I concentrate when I can feel Evangeline shooting daggers at us from across the room? From my peripheral vision, I can see her hands are clenched into fists, like she’s one second away from pummeling the plastic Barbie—Beth or Becky, I think her name is. I lean in to whisper that I need to use the restroom, all while keeping my eyes on Evangeline. Her face flushes in anger, her eyes and body scream with possessiveness. She takes a step forward like she’s about to come over and stake her claim, but she must’ve remembered where she is and who could be watching because she turns around and races back inside the house.
I want to run after Evangeline, but I know Cole is inside so I excuse myself from the Barbie and slowly walk to the French doors. I can see them talking about something. From the looks of it, it’s doing nothing to calm Evangeline down. She looks even more pissed, and damn, I’d be lying if I said she didn’t look so fucking cute. I see Cole kiss her forehead and walk toward the back door, so I busy myself with looking for something to drink in the cooler. By a stroke of luck, he doesn’t notice me and heads over to Cady, picking her up and swinging her around. Her precious giggles fill the air, making my heart clench. I’m trying to shatter that. I most definitely have a one-way ticket to Hell.
After I cautiously walk in, Evangeline pretends that she doesn’t notice me. But I know she does; her back stiffens and breath hitches every time I come near.
After a few minutes of watching her doddle with various barbeque essentials, she finally speaks, off-handedly taking a dig at the hot mom I was talking to. I know she’s trying to sound nonchalant, but her voice and body language are dripping with jealousy. I try to make light of her feelings and tell her that jealousy suits her. Big fucking mistake. She denies it. So I proceed to tell her why I know she’s lying. Bigger fucking mistake. Instead of getting all flushed and flustered like I was hoping for, she gets straight up pissed.
“Why would I be jealous, Jake? I have nothing to be jealous of. I don’t have any claim on you. Like you said, I have him. I don’t give a shit what you do. Flirt with her, take her out, or fuck her in my bathroom for all I care. It wouldn’t be too difficult—I hear she’s pretty damn easy. And alone, unlike me…”
Well, shit.
She couldn’t mean that. I know she doesn’t, even though she says so. I grab her arm to stop her from leaving me. I feel her hot skin prickle under my hand. God, even her arm feels so damn good. I try to get her to meet my eyes, but she doesn’t. She keeps her gaze directed on what is in her hands. I’ve never seen hamburger buns get so much attention in my life.
“I do. You can do whatever you want, Jake. I’m not going to stop you. And to be honest, maybe it’s for the best. For everyone.”
“If that’s what you want—”
“It is.”
Even though she sounds like she doesn’t believe a damn word that is coming out of her mouth, it still feels like she sucker punched me straight into my heart. I let her arm go like it’s on fire. And to be honest, it feels like it might have been. I let her walk away without a fight.
God damn it, maybe she’s right. Maybe I do need to take a step back. I don’t want to. I really fucking don’t want to, but I don’t know what else to do. This whole thing is a mess. A huge, screwed up mess.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” I bellow into the empty kitchen.
At least I thought it was empty.
“Hey, there. You okay? I was waiting out there for you. They’re serving the food now.” Becky saunters over to me like a lioness hunting her prey.
Maybe I should take her out. I know for a fact she is more than willing. And I am almost positive I’d get laid. Looking at her ample cleavage trying to make an appearance and that come hither gleam in her eyes tells me that yeah, I would definitely get some. Maybe that’s what I need. It’s been a few months. A man does have needs. And right now, I need to get over this fixation. What better way to get over a girl than to get under another one? It’s always worked before.
Fuck. I’m a douche.
I force a charming smile on my face, turning her cheeks a pretty shade of pink. Not as alluring as Evangeline, but attractive nonetheless. With a simple “Come on,” I grab her hand, pulling her with me outside, back to the party.
***
For the next hour, I try my best to keep my eyes off of Evangeline and focus on Becky. I’ve been whispering in her ear and keeping her close while we eat and sing happy birthday. But as hard as I try to disregard Evangeline’s presence, I can’t stop myself from looking for her, or at her. That pull I have toward her isn’t lessening my resolve to stay away. In fact, I think it’s become stronger. Like it’s defying my denial. So when I catch her staring at my arm around Becky, the expression on her face makes my beaten heart crumble. She looks…hurt. When she excuses herself to go to the restroom, it takes all of my willpower not to get up and chase her down, convince her that she was wrong. That I’m wrong. That this isn’t wrong—we’re so very right. Apparently, I have gained a mass amount of self-control in the last 24 hours, surprising even myself. Of course, having Cole’s eyes on me probably helps a little bit. He definitely knows what’s up. But for some strange ass reason, he isn’t doing a damn thing about it. Fucking idiot.
Just as Dylan is opening the gift from Ben and I, Evangeline comes back to the room, looking like a completely different person. Still as beautiful as ever, but the hurt I saw earlier is long gone and replaced with purpose and an adoring smile for Cole that gives me the urge to throw up my lunch.
I gulp, gaping at the lovely, loving couple. She doesn’t even glance my way. All of her attention is suddenly solely on him and their kids. Shit. I know just hours ago I said I would stay away. That it was for the best. But I honestly didn’t really believe the shit that was swirling in my head. Though now—from that look on her face, the reserved posture, the way she keeps passing over me like I don’t fucking exist anymore—she is making me feel like this really is the end. The end of something that was never even given the chance to begin.
“They’re so perfect, aren’t they? You know, they’ve been together since they were kids. How amazing is that?” Becky gushes as she watches Cole and Evangeline, wonder and hope in her eyes, like they’re actors in some stupid romantic comedy.
I take a long pull from my beer, tearing my eyes away from what should be mine and feast on Becky instead, taking in every inch of
her in. She catches me, her eyes going dark with desire. It’s in that moment that I say a mental fuck it and ask her out for next weekend. After we help clean up the heaps of wrapping paper that is scattered all over the living room, we exchange numbers and promises to call and text during the week.
I watch as she gathers her son and their belongings, says goodbye and gives her thanks, then leaves—but not before giving me a drawn out kiss on the cheek. I turn to find Ben, but notice that Evangeline is staring at the door that Becky has just walked out of. Her eyes betray her for a second before turning right back into stone as our gazes meet. She quickly turns away, talking to some mom about her book, from the sounds of it.
I let out the deep breath I didn’t even realize I was holding and begin the search for my nephew. I make my way upstairs, hearing laughter in one of the bedrooms. Upon inspection, I only see Dylan and a few other boys who aren’t Ben. Most of the families are making their way out the door as I head back downstairs. I walk through the hallway into the kitchen and stop a few feet away from the back door.
Evangeline is standing just outside the door, looking like a retro pinup dream. I suck in a breath and walk over to her, wanting to see what she’s looking at so intently. I step out into the now cool, crisp Oregon air and stand next to her, shoulder to shoulder. Or in our case, shoulder to ear. I hear her breath hitch as it always does. I smile despite what went on today, taking comfort in the fact that I certainly do affect her as much as she does me. I take a quick peek at her before following her gaze.
Sitting on the edge of the deck are Ben and Cady, his arm around her as she rests her head on his shoulder. Purity and innocence at its finest. Tears threaten to spill, but I push them back with as much strength as I can muster. I turn back to Evangeline and see that she did not have it in her to hold back. Silent tears are streaming down her cheeks, though a small smile graces her lips.
“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it? Young love. Before all of the complications—it’s just beautiful and free. No games. No jealousy. No guilt. No betrayal. Just beauty,” she observes sadly.
“Evangeline—”
“Thanks for coming, Jake. It looked like you and Ben had fun. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
She walks to Cady, interrupting their moment before I can get a word in. After giving Ben a hug, she picks her daughter up and carries her inside the house without so much as a goodbye or a glance back. I walk over to Ben, who’s staring at the back door the girls just walked into. The silly look of love on his face brings a smile to my own.
Clapping him on the back, I say, “I know how you feel, buddy.” He looks at me and nods, looking so grown up for a second before grabbing my hand as we walk out the back gate to our house next door, leaving our ladies behind.
Chapter Nine
Evangeline
I’m walking to Jake’s house. I don’t know why. I do, however, know that this is a mistake. I shouldn’t be doing this—I really shouldn’t. But I can’t stop myself. So I don’t. I push down the raging guilt that is threatening to turn me around, back to my bed where I should be, where Cole is.
I should be where Cole is.
But I’m not.
I’m at Jake’s door. I feel like I’m watching a movie, sitting in the uncomfortable theater seats, observing myself knock lightly on the door. In the theater I’m screaming at the screen to stop. To run. You still have a chance. But just like every movie, the actress never listens. And neither do I. Jake answers, looking groggy from the sleep I just took him away from. When he realizes it’s me at the door, his eyes practically bulge out of his head.
“Evie, what are you doing here?” he called me Evie. He never calls me Evie. Ignoring the peculiar feeling that creeps up, I brush past him, not answering his question as I walk inside the house and make my way upstairs. I hear him shut the door and slowly trail behind me, clearly not knowing what is going on. Honestly, I don’t really know what’s going on, either. I just know that I want this.
I shouldn’t—but I do.
I enter his room and stand in front of his bed, watching him as he closes another door. He’s wearing gym shorts, hung loose on his hips, showcasing his abs that look painted on, possibly photo-shopped. And that V. That panty-drenching, heart pounding, I-want-to-lick-along-the-ridges V. It’s a total Ryan Gosling moment.
I lick my lips in anticipation. He watches me blatantly check him out, a mix of bewilderment and lust on his face. There are so many questions in his eyes. So I take the opportunity to answer him—silently, and with my body. I lift my tank top over my head, revealing my bare breasts. I’ve never really been one for bras. His eyes dip down for a second before returning to my face. The puzzling look from earlier has disappeared, leaving only pure, unadulterated desire. I slip my tiny boxer shorts down my legs slowly and seductively. Stepping out of them, I remain standing. Waiting. My heart is beating out of my chest, but I don’t give a fuck if he can hear it. In fact, I want him to. I want him to hear how he makes me feel. And he makes me feel hot.
Craved.
Alive.
He finally strides over, never dropping eye contact. When he reaches me, he runs his finger lightly down the space between my breasts and down to my core, causing my nipples to harden and my body to tremor violently. I am so wet for him, I can feel it pooling between my legs. He smiles knowingly before dropping down onto his knees. Then he begins to place small kisses along my lower belly. I can feel his tongue snake out just the tiniest bit. His hands are on my ass, squeezing and kneading, rubbing down my legs as his mouth goes lower. I can feel his warm breath over my slit. I squirm in his hands.
“Jake.” I plead his name breathlessly.
He looks up to me with hooded eyes. “I know, baby. I know,” he says as he licks the top of my lips. I moan. He licks again. And again. Teasing. Never licking where I want him to. Need him to.
I grip his hair in my hands, moaning please, please, please over and over like it’s a song that I just can’t get out of my head. Finally, he relents. Lifting my right leg onto his shoulder, he plunges his tongue deep into my pussy. I cry out his name as he sucks hard on my clit, then licks, sucks, and repeats the process. He inserts two fingers inside my heat, pumping in and out, while he continues to eat my pussy like it’s his last meal. I can feel my legs about to give out but I push through, needing this, needing his touch, needing him. When he adds a third finger, pounding them into me while continuing his assault with his tongue, I come viciously against his mouth, screaming incoherent words, and almost pulling out the hair I was holding onto so tightly. He continues to lap up my arousal, savoring my taste while my post-orgasm shakes begin to wane.
He swoops me up into his arms and lays me gently on top of his bed. I watch him as he sheds his shorts, his hard cock standing at attention, ready to sink deep inside my warm depths. He opens my legs wide open, positioning himself between them, then rubs the tip of his hardness against my slick slit.
“Open your eyes, Evie. I want to see you as I thrust inside your beautiful, wet pussy.”
I didn’t even realize my eyes were closed. I try to open them, but I can’t.
“Open your eyes, Evie.”
“Evie! Open your eyes. Wake up, baby.”
That’s no longer Jake talking. It’s Cole.
Why is Cole here?
“Evie!” he yells at me as my eyes begin to flutter open. Cole is sitting up in our bed, leaning over me, worry etched into his face. I lay there disorientated, covered in a layer of sweat. It was a dream. Another mind-blowingly realistic dream that somehow woke up Cole. God, I hope I didn’t talk in my sleep. Though, from the look on Cole’s face, I don’t think that is the case. Thank goddess for that.
“Are you okay, baby? You were moaning and shaking. Scared the hell out of me.” Cole says, swiping a damp piece of hair from my face. Love and concern for me—the subconscious cheater—ever present in his soft blue eyes.
“I’m fine. It was just a nightmare. I don’t even remem
ber what it was about.” I grab his hand that is gently caressing the side of my cheek and give him a small smile, hoping to reassure him that everything is okay. That I am okay—even though deep down, I know I am not. My heart is still racing and my thoughts are all muddled. I feel so uncertain, and I’m afraid I’m becoming detached from the man I have spent my entire life loving. I don’t know how much longer I can keep denying these feelings for Jake. As much as I try to push them down, they just seem to keep growing like an effing tumor. But I won’t give in. I’ll fight the urge until the end.
Hopefully, the end is near, because after that dream, I don’t have much faith in my self-control.
Cole seems pacified, because with one last look, he leans down, kissing my forehead, and then lies back in bed. It’s not even five minutes later that I hear his breathing even out and soft snores leave his slightly parted mouth. I turn on my left side, nestling into the crook of his arm, resting my right arm across his stomach. Needing to feel the connection that we’ve had for so long. It’s still there. It will always be there, and it’s strong. My love for him hasn’t changed at all. My heart still beats for him, but for some unknown and baffling reason, my heart is making room for another. How is that even possible? I never thought it could be, but here I am, losing sleep, and lying next to the man I love, while thinking of another. I’m a freaking walking romance novel.
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