Falling In

by Hopkins, Andrea

  Evie: Are you up?

  I swear ten minutes go by, but in actuality, it’s really only a minute before he replies.

  Jake: Yeah I’m reading. You’re up late. Wild night? ;-)

  I snort.

  Evie: Hardly. Cole went to bed early. And I can’t sleep. What are you reading?

  Jake: I don’t want to tell you.

  Evie: Lol, what? Why not? Is it that bad?

  Jake: I would definitely lose some dude points. :-/

  Evie: Okay now you have to tell me. I’m on my knees begging you.

  Jake: Damn that would be a sight to see. Tell me what you’re wearing first then maybe…

  Evie: Perv. All right fine. I’ll tell you what I’m wearing but you have to tell me what you’re reading or no deal.

  Jake: Deal. I’m waiting…

  Evie: Black boy short panties and a white tank.

  Jake: No bra?

  This is so wrong. But damn, I’m getting turned on. I squirm on the couch, my pussy tingling.

  Evie: Nope.

  Jake: Shit Evangeline. You don’t know what that image is doing to me right now.

  I think I have an idea, but I want to know in detail how I make him feel. I know, I know, I’m playing with fire here. But right now, being a pyro doesn’t sound so bad. It sounds fucking amazing!

  Evie: What does it do to you?

  Three minutes. It’s been three minutes since I texted him. No response. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I’m about to tell him never mind, don’t answer that question, but before I even begin typing, my phone vibrates in my hand. I stop moving, and quite possibly, breathing. I was so anxious for him to answer, but now I’m scared shitless to read what is in this text. It could change everything. It’ll mean completely crossing that line that we’ve been hovering over for weeks.

  Please forgive me, Cole.

  Jake: Picturing your sexy ass that I’ve been dying to spank, in tiny black panties, braless, a top that most likely exposes your breasts that I know would fit effortlessly in my hands. Your nipples poking through the thin material, begging to be licked. Damn Evangeline, it makes me want to barge through that door, push you down onto the floor, and rip those poor excuses for clothes off you. I want to drive my fingers into you over and over, rubbing your clit until you’re begging for mercy and I feel your pussy clench around my fingers. And then after I suck your arousal off my fingers, I know I’d need a taste firsthand, so I’d lick your pussy up and down and all around. Sucking and flicking your clit. Inhaling you until you go limp from my mouth. But I still need more. So I’d take my throbbing hard cock and sink into that sweet tight pussy that’s been keeping me up all night for weeks thinking about it. I want to hear my name being screamed by your perfect, full, cock-sucking lips. Picturing you in any which way makes my dick instantly hard, and I wish it was your soft and small hands stroking it right now instead of mine.

  Holy. Shit.

  That was the hottest thing I have ever heard—err, read. I mean, damn. This man can talk dirty. My panties are drenched and my pussy is aching for attention. I move my hand down to the top of my panties, slipping my fingers inside, feeling the slickness and moving it around in circles against my clit. My phone vibrates in my hand again. Crap. I forgot to reply.

  Jake: Evangeline? Shit. I didn’t scare you off did I? I’m sorry. I went too far didn’t I? Shit. I’m sorry.

  Evie: No no no. Don’t be sorry. It didn’t scare me off. It was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever read. And I’m a mom porn writer for fuck’s sake. I should take notes from you. I was, um distracted.

  Jake: I learned from the best (you). Of course reading Fifty Shades of Grey tonight might’ve helped. That Grey dude is one kinky sonofabitch! Distracted huh? What or who was distracting you?

  Evie: OH MY GAWD! You were not reading 50 Shades? That is hilarious. You really have turned into a housewife, haven’t you? And yes Mr. Grey is the quintessential fucked up adult contemporary book boyfriend. S&M never sounded so good. But remind me to give you a list of better books to read!

  Evie: Oh and fingers.

  Jake: Seriously. I think I might start taking notes from this guy.

  Jake: Fingers?

  Evie: My fingers were distracting me.

  Jake: Fuck Evangeline. Were you really touching yourself?

  Evie: Yes. I had to. Your words… They made me ache.

  Shit. I cannot believe I just told him that. I’m in trouble. So fucking in trouble.

  Jake: Now that was the hottest thing I’ve ever read. Damn girl. Are you still aching?

  Evie: Yes.

  Jake: Touch yourself for me.

  This really is wrong. I definitely shouldn’t do this. I really really shouldn’t. But damn, the way he makes me feel…it’s just too much to resist.

  He is too much to resist.

  Jake: Evangeline?

  Evie: Okay.

  Jake: Shit Evangeline. I’m hard as a rock for you.

  Evie: Then touch yourself too.

  I slide my hand over the top of my soaked panties, applying just the right amount of pressure, up and down. Teasing myself. Then I slip my fingers underneath my panties and spread my lips apart, running my fingers through my wet folds. My pussy is throbbing for more. I picture Jake’s hard, long, and thick cock entering me as I slip two fingers inside me, moving in and out. My pussy is contracting with each thrust. I bring my fingers back out again, press them against my clit, and then shove them back in and repeat the motion until I’m on the edge. My breathing picks up as I rub my juices against my clit harder and harder, faster and faster, until my body tenses and my toes curl. I stifle a moan and let out a deep breath of ecstasy and relaxation. A small smile spreads across my face. I readjust my panties and then pick up the phone off of the coffee table. I have two missed texts, six minutes apart.

  Jake: Already am babe. And I’m thinking of you as I’m doing it. Wishing that instead of my hand it was that pussy that I know tastes better than chocolate. Fuck Evangeline. I want you so bad it hurts baby. It hurts.

  Jake: Damn I wish I could see you fuck yourself with those delicate pixie fingers of yours. It’s gotta be the hottest sight known to man. Did it feel as good as I’m sure it looked?

  Evie: It felt like heaven. It was exactly what I needed.

  Jake: Heaven huh? Well I’d die a hundred times over just to feel what you just felt.

  Evie: Lol. Good line.

  Jake: I’ve been known to be smooth from time to time. So we still on for tomorrow? I have to see you more than ever after what just happened. You have no idea how much restraint I’m practicing to not knock down your door right now and steal you away.

  Evie: Jake…I want to see you. I do. I just don’t think I should. Cole is catching on to whatever this thing is… He’s barely spoken to me since you came over on Saturday. This, this is so wrong. So very wrong.

  Jake: Then why does it feel so fucking right Evangeline? I don’t give a fuck about Cole right now. Just see me tomorrow. I won’t lay a finger on you unless you want me to. We’re friends remember? I just want to be near you. Please.

  Fuck. Fuckety fuck. What am I doing? What the actual fuck am I doing? I’m an addict, and he’s me addiction. I can’t stop myself from wanting him. For feeling like I need him. He’s my own version of heroin. So good, but so damn bad for me. Pure, sinful bliss. My personal immoral paradise.

  Evie: Fuck, Jake. Okay.

  Jake: Thank you. You won’t regret it.

  Evie: I hope not. I think I’m going to try to sleep now. Goodnight.

  Jake: Goodnight Evangeline. I’ll see you in our dreams.

  And he does. He fucks me over and over, taking my body to epic heights, every which way he can, until I wake up clutching my phone in my hand and wishing like hell I could go back to sleep to feel it all over again.

  Chapter Twelve

  Evangeline

  The sun is shining through the curtains, hitting me directly in the eyes and causing my face
to scrunch up. Always so glamorous in the morning. God, I feel like I’m hung over. I sit up on the couch and rub my eyes, replaying in my head what happened last night. My whole body heats up with embarrassment. Did I really have a sext-a-thon with Jake last night?

  Yes, yes I did.

  I groan into my hands.

  “Rough night?” I open my eyes and find Cole, strolling through the hallway, dressed for work, with a mug in each hand. He hands me one with steaming hot Awake tea, prepared with a bit of sweet cream and honey. Yum.

  I take it with a “thank you” and take a sip of the sweet, comforting goodness. I look up from my cup to find him staring at me. Oh that’s right, he asked me a question. Guess I got used to him not talking to me.

  “I couldn’t sleep, so I came down here to do a little reading. Didn’t want the light to wake you. I must’ve dosed off at some point.” I half lie.

  Cole nods and we both take a sip from our drinks, looking anywhere but at each other.

  He finally sighs and walks over to the couch, sitting down next to me. “Look, Evie, can we just rewind a little bit? I hate feeling this awkward around you. It feels so fucking weird.” He brushes a stray curl from my face. I lean into his touch, relishing in it after having been without it this weekend.

  “I love you, Cole.”

  “I know. I love you more.”

  “Not possible.” We both smile before he pulls me into a kiss. Our tongues caress each other’s slowly, sensually. He grips the back of my hair, deepening the kiss. I moan into his mouth, closing the space between us. But just as things are getting good, we hear a pitter-patter of footsteps coming down the stairs.

  The kids are awake.

  Of course they are.

  “Fuck. To be continued?” Cole whispers in my ear.

  “Definitely.” I wink at him. The kids sluggishly walk toward us, rubbing their eyes and yawing. “Good morning, guys. Looks like we all have a case of the Mondays.”

  They mumble their incoherent answer in unison. Cole and I just laugh.

  “Well, I should get to work. Kids, have a good day at school. And Evie, I look forward to later, beautiful.” He gives us each a kiss on our foreheads, and then leaves for work.

  I stare at my phone that is now on the coffee table, taunting me. Making the guilt of what I did last night creep up my body, paralyzing me in place. It shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have let it happen. But damn, I wanted it. I wanted it so bad I can still feel the longing of his words coursing through my body. The desire that I felt last night was something I haven’t felt in a long time. It was dirty and reckless. Wrong. So very wrong, but so fucking hot. I wish I could say I regret it, but deep down, I don’t. And that is screwing with my head right now. My head and my heart. How can I not regret doing something so intimate with someone who isn’t Cole? And then the morning after, almost have sex with Cole like nothing happened the night before? I am royally fucked up.

  “Mom?” Cady says, tearing me away from my thoughts.

  I look up from my phone to find them both staring at me like I’ve gone mad. I force a smile.

  “We’re hungry,” Dyl says.

  “Oh, dang. Of course. Um, why don’t you guys just grab a pop tart or a muffin, and I’ll go upstairs and get our clothes together, okay?” They both scurry off without a reply.

  I force myself off the couch and trudge upstairs, going into the kids’ rooms to grab their clothes before walking into mine. I shut the door behind me, pressing my back against it and take a few much needed deep breaths. Get it together, Evie. You’re going to be seeing Jake in less than thirty minutes.

  Shit.

  I’m going to see Jake in less than thirty minutes!

  The Jake that I had text-sex with last night. The Jake that made me practically come with his words. The Jake that is not Cole.

  I don’t have time to shower, so I wash my face quickly and brush a bit of blush on my cheeks, hopefully brightening my face up a bit as I throw my hair up in a top knot. I delve into my closet, pulling out a white, vintage pinup-inspired halter dress with poppies scattered all over. It’s one of my favorites—a birthday present from Cole last year. I swiftly slip it on, along with a pair of black ballet flats. I rush out the door and down the stairs, throwing clothes at the kids.

  While they get dressed, I get their lunches packed up and double-check their hair, making a quick fishtail braid for Cady. The kids get their backpacks packed and put on and with five minutes to spare, we head for the door. I kiss the kids goodbye as they leave the house, but before I walk out the door with them, I stop at the mirror and apply a little lip gloss.

  For no reason in particular, of course.

  Once I walk outside, my eyes immediately clash with Jake’s. He’s standing at the bottom of the stairs, and the look on his face makes my breath catch. He’s staring at me like I’m the only one he sees. That sexy, crooked smile on his face is just for me, and me alone. We stay there in a trancelike state, just taking each other in. No one else exists at the moment. I don’t even hear the bus come and go. It’s just us and that gravitational pull we have, the connection that I can feel surging through every part of my body.

  As if we can read each other’s minds, we both begin to walk toward each other at the same time, meeting at the bottom of the porch.

  “You look—stunning,” he breathes out, shaking his head like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

  “Thank you,” I say timidly. Feeling awkward about last night, I look away from him.

  He pulls my face back to his. “Hey. Don’t do that. Don’t be ashamed or shy with me. Where’s that girl from last night, huh? She was fearless. She wasn’t afraid to be sexual. She told me what she liked and what made her hot. Which was fucking hot, by the way. I like that girl. Be that girl. And believe me when I say you look beautiful today. Tomorrow, too. And yesterday.” I can’t help but bare a ridiculous smile.

  “Wow. That was some line, Jake.”

  “It wasn’t a line. Just the truth.” He captures my hand in his and leads me down the step. “C’mon, let’s go for a walk.”

  “Okay.”

  He lets go of my hand as we begin to walk down the street. I frown at first, but then remember that it was probably a smart move on his part. Nosy ass neighbors. And well, you know, also the simple fact that I’m not his and we’re certainly not dating. We’re just friends. And outside of elementary school, friends don’t hold hands. Of course, that knowledge isn’t stopping him from purposely brushing his knuckles across mine, sending nerve-wracking tingles up my arms.

  We walk silently, but like always, it’s never uncomfortable. It’s welcome, even, as I need to gather my thoughts together. Sometimes when he speaks to me, all rational thought goes out the window. Like those haunting mint green eyes, his voice is intoxicating and powerful. I could get lost in him and be completely satisfied. I need to be careful. I have to be on guard.

  We reach the park in a few minutes. The same park we went to a month ago, the day this all began. It seems a lot longer than a month, though. It feels like we’ve been doing this dance for ages. We sit down at a bench. The bench we first sat at together.

  Our bench.

  I smile at the thought. He must be thinking the same thing, because he’s looking at it with the same dopey smile on his face. The smile that says he’s remembering. Remembering the beginning of this. This feeling. This heart pumping, can’t catch your breath feeling. He takes my hand in his again, this time shielding the connection from anyone who might be looking. At the moment, I don’t give two effs who’s watching, because right now, right now I just see him. I laugh to myself.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I feel like I’m sixteen again. Whenever I’m with you, I always feel so young. Free. Not a care in the world. Giddy, like a little schoolgirl who has a crush on a cute boy.”

  “Am I the cute boy?” he asks with that smart-ass smirk of his.

  “Maybe.” I smirk back.

>   “I know what you mean, though. I feel the same way. Not like a little schoolgirl, but instead I’m some teenage boy who can’t control his urges around this beautiful girl who lives next door.”

  “Is that what this is? Us trying to recapture our teenage years, or attempting a redo because ours were so fucked up? Is this real? Or is it just some silly crush that will go away in a couple of weeks?” I look at him hard, searching his eyes for an answer, gaging his thoughts. He does the same.

  “Maybe we are looking for a redo, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want you. I want all of you, Evangeline. All I’ve thought about for a month is you. You’ve consumed me. This is real. These feelings are real. This need is real, and I don’t know when or if it will ever go away.”

  I close my eyes and let those words seep into my goose-bumped skin, tearing me open from the inside out. I can feel his hand skim my cheek. I breathe him in before opening my eyes.

  “I don’t know what to say to that.”

  “The truth?”

  “It’s not that simple, Jake. The truth can hurt.” I say, my voice breaking at the end.

  I let go of his hand and pull away from his touch, only to be brought back to him. Except for this time, he holds my face with both of his hands, searing me with his blistering gaze. I have nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. I’m lost in the fire of his irises.