His hair was a tousled mess, even more so than usual, after he finished tugging the fleece over his head. He readjusted his glasses since they’d tilted off to the side of his nose from his undressing. Well, not undressing of course, just taking off a sweatshirt. Which was nothing. Something I’d seen him do a million times over the years.
What in the world was wrong with me? My aunt missing and there I sat acting like it wasn’t my very familiar best friend sitting next to me, the same one who I’d seen pick his nose as a little kid, burp, fart, and all other types of disgusting actions.
I scooted a few inches away from him, needing some breathing room.
“Don’t you want it?”
What?
“Sam?” He eyed me curiously, “I thought you’d want it.”
My mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out.
He wrinkled his face in confusion. “Here.” He wiggled the sweatshirt at me.
The sweatshirt. Of course he meant the sweatshirt. What else would he mean?
“Oh, uh, yeah, sure…thanks.” I smiled weakly and reached out to accept it before pulling it over my head as fast as I could, praying the material and the darkness hid the rising flush in my cheeks.
Sure, I’d noticed girls at school ogling him now and then, but things had never been like that with us. I tried to convince myself they weren’t now. Although a tiny rebellious piece of me couldn’t help but whisper, are you sure?
Lately I’d noticed times his touch lasted just seconds longer than strictly necessary, or caught him studying me when he thought I wasn’t looking. I’d blown it off, told myself I was imagining things. But now, I wondered…was I really? Did I want to be imagining things?
As I pulled the welcome softness down around me, it smelled like him, like clean soap and guy magically rolled together. After my head popped through, I caught Jeremy watching me, and the expression on his face made me catch my breath. He blinked, looked down at his shoes, and the moment was gone.
I pushed any unwelcome thoughts of what Jeremy and his stupid sweatshirt smelled like out of my mind. There were much bigger things to worry about at the moment. Like the fact that I had no idea what happened to my aunt. It had to be my anxiety suddenly turning me batshit crazy. I cleared my throat.
“So, what do you think I should do? Should I call the police?” I lifted my head to look him in the eyes.
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Not yet anyway.” He shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t think they’d even do anything at this point. She hasn’t been gone long enough. They’ll probably just blow it off like you’re overreacting.”
My chin jerked up. “I am not overreacting, Jeremy!”
“I know, I know. I didn’t mean I thought you were, I was just saying what the cops would probably say.” He reached out and took my hand, weaving our fingers together and setting our joined hands on his jean-clad thigh. “We’ll find her, Sam.” He squeezed my hand. “I promise.”
I closed my eyes until the tears receded. I didn’t want him to see me cry…I never let anyone see me cry. Hadn’t for years.
“C’mere.” Jeremy reached out his other arm and wrapped it around my shoulder, pulling me against him. I resisted, not wanting to give in to his kindness. “C’mere,” he repeated, a hint of teasing in his voice, not taking my unspoken no for an answer.
So I gave in. I let him pull me into his strong warmth, and tucked my head against his shoulder under his chin. It fit perfectly. Like always. Tingles rushed through me at the contact.
He stroked my hair with comforting movements. “Shh,” he whispered. “It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. You’ll see.”
We sat that way, not speaking, for about fifteen minutes. My body finally started to relax, and I allowed myself to believe he might be right. Things would be okay. Aunt Lor would call, or come home soon, and we’d laugh about how worried I’d been for no reason.
Flashing blue and red lights appeared, turning from Sauderton Road into the dirt lane leading to Shady Oak Court. Police lights. There were no sirens, but it didn’t matter. I knew it was about my aunt, and that they were there to see me.
I fought the urge to throw up. I stood up on shaky legs as I watched the police car drive closer and closer. Jeremy stood as well, never letting go of my hand. An odd buzzing sounded in my ears, and air fought to fill my lungs.
The cruiser finally halted about ten feet in front of us. The lights still spun circles of red, blue, red, blue, around the yard.
All breathing stopped as the car door opened, and a tall officer stepped out of the squad car and removed his hat, asking, “Are you Miss Samantha Evans?”
The buzzing in my ears turned into a dull roar, and I passed out.
“Sam. Sam, can you hear me?” Jeremy’s voice sounded far away.
A hand brushed the hair back from my forehead, and when I opened my eyes, Jeremy’s face hovered inches from my own. His eyes, a kaleidoscope of green and brown, looked scared, and his throat jerked as he swallowed, watching me intently.
“Thank God. Are you okay?”
Part of me wanted to stay there, not moving, for a few more seconds. Until I remembered.
The police. Aunt Lor.
I jerked up so quickly that I smacked foreheads with him. He tipped over backward and fell off the side of the step.
“I’m sorry. I…” My gaze jerked away from where he’d landed on the ground rubbing his head to the scene to my right.
The police officer stood over by his car, leaning in through the open door and talking on his radio. “Correct. Shady…” He broke off when he saw me striding toward him. “You can cancel that. I’ll let you know if we still need you to send one out, but I think we’re good here.” He bent and returned the radio inside the cruiser.
“Where’s my aunt? What’s going on?”
“Just please calm down, Ms. Evans.”
I didn’t give him time to finish. I slapped the hood of the police car. Hard. “Would you please just tell me what’s going on?”
He pressed his lips together. “Ms. Evans, I understand you’re upset, but I’ll have to ask you to please try to control yourself.”
“Control myself? Control myself?” I shook. “You’re standing there like a giant goon not telling me anything!” I waved wildly and took a step closer to him.
Firm arms wrapped around me from behind.
“Sam, it’s okay. Calm down.” Jeremy’s voice worked its way into my addled brain…quiet, soothing.
I froze. My body sagged in Jeremy’s arms as I gave up the fight.
The cop adjusted his belt, and motioned with his head toward the steps. “Would you like to sit down and we can talk?”
I nodded, suddenly unable to form a simple, yes.
Jeremy rubbed his hands along my upper arms briefly, leaning in to whisper, “C’mon.” He reached down and took my trembling hand to lead me to the steps once more.
Once Jeremy and I were seated, the policeman knelt down to our eye level.
“My name is Officer Daniels. I’m with the county sheriff’s office. We were called about two hours ago by a woman a few streets over.”
My heartbeat accelerated. He must have seen the fear in my eyes, because he held up a hand as though to stop my thoughts from racing into the terrifying unknown.
“Your aunt is fine.”
The tightness in my chest let up some. “I don’t understand. Where is she? Why were you called then?”
Officer Daniels rocked on his heels and glanced briefly at Jeremy.
I whipped my head toward Jeremy in confusion before zooming back in on the policeman. “Would you please just tell me what’s going on?” I repeated in a whisper.
“Your aunt was found wandering around in the caller’s yard. She seemed confused and wasn’t immediately able to give her name, or tell us where she lived.”
The blood drained from my face. “That’s impossible.”
Jeremy squeezed my hand gently.
Officer Daniels
shook his head. “I’m sorry. We had her transported to the Good Samaritan Hospital for evaluation.”
“She’s…she’s in the hospital?” I couldn’t completely process what he was saying. “Is she okay?”
“I can’t answer that.” He shook his head again. “I can tell you that after she arrived in the emergency room, she seemed to come around. She was more cognizant and able to tell the doctors who she was. And she was worried about you.” His eyes gentled. “She was adamant that she needed to come home to be here with you, but the doctors felt it would be better for her to stay overnight for observation.”
“But why can’t she come home if she’s okay now? Why didn’t she call me?” I threw questions at him like bricks.
“The last I heard, she was still in the ER getting some testing done. We let her know we’d come by and make sure you knew what was happening.” He winced and rubbed his knee before standing up. “Do you have somewhere you can go for the night so you aren’t alone?”
I couldn’t even think straight. Go for the night? What if Aunt Lor wasn’t all right? What if taking care of me had made her sick?
He stood patiently, waiting for me to answer.
When I said nothing, Jeremy spoke up. “She can stay with me tonight. With my family.”
Officer Daniels seemed relieved. He tapped his hat against his leg. “Okay then. If there’s anything else I can do, call the station.” He adjusted his hat back into position on his head.
I nodded dumbly.
Jeremy obviously felt the need to extend pleasant courtesies. “Thank you, officer.”
Daniels nodded briefly, and headed toward his car.
Crickets chirped around us like it was any other night. Didn’t they realize everything was different now? For some reason, it was even more difficult than the day my mother left.
“She’ll be fine, Sam. I know it.” Jeremy’s voice broke the silence.
I didn’t answer him.
“You can come stay at my house tonight. I’m sure my parents won’t mind.”
When I still said nothing, he stood and tugged my arm gently, pulling me up next to him. “Let’s get your stuff.”
He led me inside, not saying anything more, somehow understanding I wasn’t ready to talk.
I walked through the living room and turned down the narrow hall to my room. As I passed Aunt Lor’s bedroom, I paused. Tears threatened, but I pushed them down and kept going. Once I reached my bedroom, I dug in the bottom of my closet for an old duffel bag and threw some clothes inside, not caring what I grabbed.
Jeremy sat on my bed, watching me for a few minutes.
“Can I help?” he asked.
“No. Thanks, I’m fine.” Nothing could have been further from the truth. I zipped up the bag and looked around. The notebook I’d fallen asleep holding earlier lay on the bed next to him. I walked over and grabbed it. I couldn’t even think about the plan right now, but I didn’t want to just leave it out in the open.
He eyed it curiously. “What’s that?”
“Nothing. Poetry,” I lied. I grabbed my backpack from the floor and shoved it inside.
“Okay.” He looked around the room. “Well, you ready to go?”
I nodded.
He stood and walked over to me. “Here, let me take that.” He reached for my duffel bag. My first instinct was to refuse, to tell him I could carry it myself, but I could see he wanted to help. “Thanks.” I handed it over, smiling halfheartedly.
We headed out of the room together.
“Do you think they’ll let me see her?” I asked quietly.
“I don’t know. Visiting hours might be over by now. But we can call and check.”
I nodded again and followed him out the front door. I’d never appreciated the little home Aunt Loretta had made for me more than I did as the door clicked shut firmly behind us.
Eight
Remember all the times we had together? What happened to best friends forever?
—Unknown
“You sure your parents don’t mind me staying here tonight? I’m fine staying at my own place.” I wasn’t but couldn’t bring myself to admit it.
“For the last time, it’s fine; you shouldn’t be alone right now. Besides, Mom and Dad kind of think of you as family anyway.”
He threw a heavy sleeping bag on the hardwood floor next to his bed and unrolled it. “And besides, you used to sleep over all the time.”
Yeah. When we were in grade school.
But in reality, his parents wouldn’t care; they were pretty laid back. I shuffled my feet and glanced around before settling on the edge of his bed.
Jeremy’s room fit him. A wild mash-up of IKEA and Comic-Con. Movie posters covered the hunter green walls. A curved black lamp sat on top of his wide computer desk, which held books stacked in one corner and a TARDIS on the other. Jeremy made it easy to bust on his geekiness, considering his one-sided bromance with Doctor Who.
It seemed kind of crappy kicking him out of his own bed, but no way would we share it. Obviously. Because that would be weird. I pushed down the curiosity of what it would be like to fall asleep next to him.
“So…” I chewed on my lip and nodded my head for absolutely no reason. “I can take the floor. Really, I don’t want to put you out.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be stupid. I’m not going to let you sleep on the floor.” He laughed and plopped down next to me on his double bed. I inched away the tiniest amount, hyperaware of how close he was. He eyeballed me but said nothing. Restless, I flopped backward and clasped my hands behind my head as I stared at his ceiling. A few seconds later, he followed suit.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t go see your aunt,” he whispered. He turned to face me, so close that his warm breath caressed my cheek along with his words. “But we’ll definitely go tomorrow after school when the hospital has visiting hours again.”
A single tear escaped. I angled my face farther away from him so he couldn’t see my body’s betrayal of my hard-fought stoic front. My strategy to appear invincible didn’t work. He inched a little closer, and I sensed him looking down at me, even though I’d merely felt the bed shift when he’d propped up a little on his elbow.
With achingly slow movements, he brushed away one of the tears I tried to hide. I rolled farther away from his touch, turned to face the wall, and said nothing in reply. After all, what was there to say?
Jeremy exhaled behind me. Probably frustrated that I wouldn’t open up and do the expected sharing of my feelings bit. Especially given we could usually tell each other anything. But I couldn’t…my feelings were too raw, and to be honest, I didn’t want to face them.
After about ten minutes, his breathing became deeper, more regular. I peeked over and saw his face inches from my own. He’d removed his glasses. His eyes were closed, long dark lashes fanning his olive complexion. I studied him, and fought the urge to stroke his hair back where it fell into his eyes. Growing up, why hadn’t I ever really noticed how good-looking Jeremy was?
Probably because for years, before I’d moved in with Aunt Loretta, he’d just been the boy down the street who I’d known forever. He’d been this combination of best friend slash brother to me for so long, it hadn’t even occurred to me to look at him any other way. Until lately, when I constantly caught myself staring at him a little too long or wondered what he really thought of me.
My mind flashed back to a much younger Jeremy, when we were about seven years old. I smiled, remembering. Even back then, he’d had the most gorgeous eyes I’d ever seen and a heart to go with them. He’d stood before me in my backyard, one hand clasped shyly behind his back, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. One knee sticking out of his denim shorts sported a large scab, a badge of honor from rolling it on his bike the week before.
“Here.” He’d pushed a handful of flowers, mostly pretty weeds really, toward me with a bashful smile. I’d reached out to accept his gift, the first I’d ever received from a boy. Then, he’d le
aned in, and plopped a quick, awkward kiss on my lips. I remembered my heart jolting, my eyes widening, before he’d turned and raced down the street, waving goodbye, his crooked grin wide.
He was part of every good thing that had ever happened to me. Unlike so many other people I knew, the years hadn’t pulled us apart. He’d sometimes come over and we’d watch Jeopardy together. He usually beat me in calling out the answers. I’d made it a rule never to play Trivial Pursuit with him after being soundly trounced no less than a dozen times in a row. So we played chess instead. We were about fifty-fifty for that one.
I’d go to his house for dinner at least once a week; sometimes we’d even cook together. Jeremy was an amazing cook, always trying new recipes. I’d told him more than once that he should think about going to culinary school somewhere after we graduated. I kind of hoped he’d go the Culinary Academy in New York if he did…so we could at least still be in the same state after graduation.
I remembered a food fight we’d had about a year ago in his kitchen. Pasta had ended up clinging to the cabinets. His mother hadn’t been nearly as amused as we were when she’d walked in and found us, sauce and noodles everywhere. I chuckled a little at the memory.
His eyes opened. I immediately looked away, feeling stupid to be caught checking him out.
“What are you doing?” His voice held that raspy, sleepy quality.
“What? Nothing.” I jumped up. In my hurry, I reached out both hands to push myself off the bed, and one of them made contact with Jeremy’s thigh. His upper thigh. He glanced down to where my hand had just been then looked up at me.
The need to bolt out of the door became overpowering. I bit my lip and swallowed. He didn’t blink, but instead stared at me so intently, it was like he was trying to read my soul. I cleared my throat.
“Ah…sorry about that.”
His lips twitched. “Not a problem.”
Omigod. I wanted to crawl under his bed and hide.
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
The lip twitching turned into a full-on grin. “Sam, if you wanted to share the bed, all you had to do was ask.”
I stared.
He laughed. “Oh, come on. I’m just teasing you.” He poked me in the arm.
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