by Blair Holden
He raises his shopping-bag-laden hands defensively. “No more greetings, copied. Besides, if you killed me I’d take my peace offering with me.”
He takes out three different tubs of ice cream and yet again if it’s possible, I get more infatuated with him than I already am. How does he know that ice cream is just what I needed right now?
“Strawberries and cream for you.” He hands me the biggest-size tub they have in stores and I almost snatch it away from him. “Mint chocolate chip for you.” He gives that one to Beth and I’m touched that he knows what her favorite is and lastly he takes out his favorite, cake batter for himself. Just like that he becomes part of our evening. I scoot over on our blanket on the floor so that I’m sitting between him and Beth. The close proximity has my nerves on high alert and I’m extremely aware of the lack of space between us. I wonder if he can hear how loud my heart’s beating. I can smell his cologne, mixed with the scent of aftershave and pumpkin spice. If I could bottle the smell up and keep it with me forever I would.
“Hi,” he whispers in my ear, low enough so that Beth doesn’t hear. She’s too engrossed with Mr. Bourne to care anyway.
“Hi,” I say, smiling and biting my lip nervously.
He wraps his arm around me and scoots closer so that my entire right side is pressed against his left. I can feel his body heat searing me through our clothes. Goose bumps rise on my skin but it’s not at all because of the cold. Momentarily I forget how to breathe but then when the urge to be closer pulses through me, I brace myself.
Taking a deep breath, I rest my head on his shoulder, leaning into him. His breath hitches and I feel this strange sense of satisfaction. I caused this reaction in him; I have some sort of power over him. I’m not the only one who feels so affected.
When his breathing becomes constant, I look up at him and he’s staring down at me. His eyes smolder, scorching me to the core with just one look.
“I missed you.”
It’s not him that says this, it’s me, and I take us both by surprise. I’m whispering but it feels like we’re in a world of our own, an all-consuming world where Cole’s the center of the universe. His fingers curl around my waist, digging into my skin but not in a painful way. If anything, it’s more pleasure than pain.
“I missed you too, so much, shortcake.”
Smiling, I rest my head back on his shoulder and we watch the rest of the movie wrapped up in each other. So much for keeping it a secret from Beth, huh?
Chapter Nineteen: I’m Trapped in a Never-Ending Episode Of General Hospital
If I were to make a list of the most excruciatingly painful moments in my life, most would have something to do with Cole. Every embarrassing and public-humiliation-related memory I have has Cole in the foreground. I think the top of the list would be the day he posted flyers all over school announcing that I was having my period that week.
Do not ask how many tampons ended up in my locker after that.
However, something’s been able to beat that moment and not very surprisingly it has something to do with him yet again. This time though it isn’t horribly embarrassing or physically painful. What he’s done now is that he’s made me miss him, terribly so. On the plane ride back to our small Connecticut town I think about the couple of days I’ve spent with my grandparents for anniversary weekend, also known as the family reunion from hell. It had been in the works for a couple of months now and attendance was mandatory. I’d had to take a couple of days off of school because my parents forced me to do so. How many high schoolers can ever truly say that? Although I do realize that I spent most of my time sulking. It’s a good thing no one apart from Travis noticed these things or I’d have been called out. He seemed to be in a funk of his own so we left each other alone.
The only reason I survived the separation was because he called me every day like clockwork. We’d talk for hours before I had to go to bed. During the day we’d text each other almost every ten minutes so it felt like he was almost there with me, almost being the operative word here. We talked about anything and everything. We were still Cole and Tessa but something had shifted monumentally. It felt like I was suffocating without him being near and I could only hope that he felt the same way.
The day of the party had pretty much been a torture in its own right as most of my grandparents’ guests had sons or grandsons they wanted to ‘introduce’ me to. By the time I called Cole, I had dodged more unwanted advances in two hours than I had in my three nearly four years of high school. My phone had been tightly pressed against my ear as I concentrated on hearing the sound of his breathing to retain some hold on my sanity. We both knew where we’d rather be, what we’d rather be doing. The thought of it made me feel both nervous and euphoric. I knew that I’d be getting my first kiss pretty soon, if the slightly husky tone of Cole’s voice was any sign.
The flight’s supposed to land any second and I can’t keep still for the life of me. My mom throws me a reprimanding look before going back to her book. We’re in first class so I have to sit with her and Travis is with Dad. Having the two of them sit together is a recipe for disaster since their relationship hasn’t exactly progressed, but Mom insisted that they need to spend some quality time together. But from where I’m sitting, I can clearly see that Travis is watching a movie and Dad’s busied himself with a magazine. Oh well, it was worth a try.
By the time we arrive, it’s mid-afternoon. Despite our efforts to pack light and mostly have carry-ons, we still spend an hour at baggage claim. The number of people traveling at this time of year is insane so I should’ve anticipated the delay. It doesn’t make my impatience go away though; I’m tapping my foot like crazy and am ready to go strangle someone if our bags don’t arrive soon.
“Regretting telling lover boy to not come to the airport?”
There’s amusement written all over Travis’s face. He seems better already, like being back in our own state has suddenly taken away all his brooding. Mystery girl better give him an answer soon, I don’t know if I can go back to his whiplash moods.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say sweetly, keeping an eye out for my parents. They’re currently getting coffee from the Starbucks a few feet away. I doubt they’ll be coming back, though. The number of people fighting for luggage could cause a stampede and God forbid my mom chip a nail or Dad rip a button from his shirt. It’s a thin line between being someone’s kid and their personal slave, isn’t it?
Travis nudges my shoulder with his, nearly making me fall over the conveyer belt. Glaring at him, I spot two of our bags and quickly grab them.
“Two down, two to go,” I huff before Travis takes them from me and loads them onto the luggage cart. What on earth did mother dearest pack in these things? Ostrich eggs?
“I didn’t realize things were so serious between you guys.” He’s watching me with those perceptive eyes again. Nothing good can come of it when Travis does this. He’s probably seen through all my clever attempts to hide what’s going on between Cole and me. Mostly, I don’t want my parents to know just yet. If they did, they’d probably book a church and have us married within an hour. I do not need that kind of pressure on me right now. Travis finding out is both a good and bad thing. The good part is that he’s my favorite family member and it’d be nice to share this with him. The bad part? He might just go ahead and beat up the boy responsible for my happiness.
“We’re just hanging out, Travis. It’s casual,” I say breezily. To get him to understand the nature of our relationship, I need more time. Travis needs to see with his own eyes that Cole has changed for the best and that when I’m with him I feel happier than I have in ages. We’d do that when we got home. I’ll show him how Cole is with me now.
He grabs another bag from the conveyer belt, slinging it across his shoulder since it’s his Nike. “You’re not that girl, Tess, you’re not someone who does casual,” he says, making air quotes around the word casual. “You’re either deeply involved or not at a
ll so don’t try to sell me that.”
I can’t look him in the eye because this conversation seems eerily familiar. I even remember when we had it the last time. I’d come home crying my eyes out because Jay had kissed Missy Reeve at a dance in middle school. I knew he’d be there with her and hadn’t wanted to go but our mom had been persistent. She’d wrestled me into a too-tight dress and slipped the most uncomfortable heels on the planet onto my feet. Every second in them had been painful but with Nicole’s help I stumbled my way into the gym. Cole had skipped out on the occasion so the night had started on a good note. However, the moment I saw Jay dancing with another girl, holding her close and looking in her eyes, I realized that coming here had been a terrible idea. That was bad enough but when he kissed her, something inside broke. I remember running out of there, calling Travis and asking him to take me home. That’s when he’d said similar words. He’d been right then, asking me to get over Jay, to not invest myself too much emotionally, and I’d listened with no intention of obeying him, but this is different; Cole is different.
“I like him,” I admit without looking my brother in the eye. “He’s not the person we thought he was. Everything he’s ever done to me was because . . .”
“He liked you, because he’s always liked you,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
I gape at him for a few seconds. “You knew? How long have you known?”
“We all knew, Tess. From the first day in elementary school to now, everyone’s known. We just thought we’d let you two figure things out on your own.” He shrugs.
“But, I don’t . . .”
Travis holds up his hand and looks over my shoulder. “We’ll talk about this later. I know why you don’t want Mom and Dad to know and trust me, it’s better if they don’t.”
Our parents join us a few seconds later, just in time for the last bag to arrive. Once we have everything, we take a cab for Farrow Hills with my anticipation growing with every inch we move. My phone hasn’t rung once nor have I received any texts so I’m a bit worried. What if he’s forgotten that I’m returning today? What if he has plans of his own? I shouldn’t expect him to be waiting for me with a bouquet of calla lilies and as desperate to see me as I am to see him. Stupid Tessa.
I’m frowning at my phone when we pull up in front of our house. The disappointment is crushing in a way I’ve never experienced with Jay. Maybe with him I’ve always expected it and my expectations have always been met. Cole always surprises me, always exceeding expectations so I’ve become a little used to it. I guess that’s what I wanted him to do today, take me by surprise.
“Who’s that sitting on our porch?” Dad asks as he’s paying the driver.
I look up from my phone immediately and my sunken spirits soar. I know it’s him without a doubt. His face isn’t visible since he’s holding it between his knees but the hair is a dead giveaway. The leather jacket helps too but then it’s almost like magic. Theatrical or not, I can sense him when he’s near me and it takes every ounce of will power in my body to not jump out of the car and run toward him.
“That’s Cole, isn’t he, honey, what’s he doing here?” My mom sounds equal parts confused and giddy.
Probably not the best idea to say hey Mom, that boy sitting on the porch? Yeah, we sort of have something going on now but I can’t tell you since you’ll start suggesting flower arrangements and centerpieces on the spot and embarrass me to death. He’ll run for the hills and I’ll hate you for the rest of my life.
“I have no idea.” I almost blind Travis with my elbow as he snickers in response.
“Well don’t keep the poor boy waiting, go ask him.” She shoos me away as they get our bags out of the trunk. I’m much too happy to oblige. Cole’s looking my way now, his expression mirroring mine but I bet my smile is wider. We try to curb our enthusiasm for the sake of my family but as soon as we’re within touching distance it’s like there’s a magnetic pull between us. My arms itch to wrap themselves around him. I have visions of burying my face in his neck and inhaling his scintillating scent. His hand reaches for me, like he’s going to touch my face but he thinks better of it. Cole clearly understands my parental unit problems. He sighs in disappointment, pulling his hand back and instead thrusting the bouquet of calla lilies toward me.
“Welcome home,” he whispers.
He brought calla lilies. I do a mental happy dance and the urge to touch him is stronger than ever. He’s everything I imagined my perfect guy to be and more. Is it possible to die from wish fulfilment?
“Thank you,” I say shyly, hugging the flowers to my chest. I can practically feel my mom’s gaze boring into my back. Both she and dad will have questions later but unlike my brother, they won’t be able to tell what’s going on even if it slaps them in the face. Sometimes it’s a blessing to have clueless parents.
“You look great.” He quickly rakes his eyes over my body and I blush. Trust him to always be the perfect gentleman; I’m well aware of how I look anything but great. We had an early morning flight so I spent a total of ten minutes in the shower. Then Mom hogged the single blow dryer we had so my hair is Medusa-crazy times ten and I don’t have a speck of makeup on. There must be T-Rex-sized bags under my eyes and don’t even get me started on my clothes. I threw on the first T-shirt I could find, which is a ratty black Garfield one, and paired it with the oldest pair of jeans I have. My mom nearly had an aneurysm when I showed up to breakfast but we were running late and all my clothes were already packed. It didn’t help matters when I spilled coffee all over myself while waiting for our flight, hence reeking of Starbucks.
“Yeah right.” I roll my eyes but he doesn’t look like he’s kidding. His eyes never leave mine as he steps closer to me.
“You want to get out of here? I can tell you in detail why I think you’re beautiful.”
I’m left breathless and feel like I’ve been knocked over by the force of his words. He can’t say things like this when my parents are only a few feet away! I will not be held responsible for my actions when he’s like this. The change in him is electrifying and it’s making me all sorts of excited. There’s an intensity in his eyes that makes my breath hitch and I’d like nothing more than to take him up on his offer.
“Cole, my boy, it’s so good to see you.” Dad’s voice booms from behind us. They do one of those handshakes and man hugs. Mom hugs him too, a little too warmly for my liking. You could almost see the church bells surrounding her head like a halo. Travis acknowledges him with a nod and with that heads into the house, leaving the four of us standing around awkwardly. After some painful small talk Cole takes the plunge.
“So, Cassandra wanted me to invite Tessa for dinner.”
“Ah yes, that might have something to do with how the two of you spent an entire week with each other on the phone.” My mom laughs and I cringe. I had been really obvious now that I come to think of it but Cole doesn’t seem fazed.
“I agree, I think she’s a little curious herself and would love to get to know Tessa a little better. Apparently she really charmed her at the gala.”
He winks at me when my parents start gushing about how nice Cassandra is.
“Do I have to go?” I ask them, putting on my best “please don’t force me to go” face. If I pretend that I would go anywhere but to the Stones for dinner that’s exactly where they would send me.
“Of course! You must; it’s very nice of her to invite you.” I could hear the slight disappointment in my mom’s tone. Obviously Cole hadn’t realized that a dinner party invitation by Cassandra Stone is the holy grail of dinner party invitations for my poor mother. She looks a tad bit green but there is no way I’m letting her come with me.
She tries to make more uncomfortable small talk as Dad goes into the house to get something for the sheriff. He comes out with a bottle of wine, the kind that’s really old and costs hundreds of dollars. He tells me to give it to the Stones and then they finally let us go. Cole doesn’t even let
me go into the house to shower or change clothes; what I would give to scrub every inch of visible skin right now.
“I can’t go to your house looking like this,” I tell him as we round the corner, “I’m wearing a T-shirt with a giant cat on it, for God’s . . .” My words are cut off when Cole suddenly stops, spins around and hauls me to his chest. His arms go around my waist and he buries his head into my hair, inhaling it.
Oh my. For a few seconds, I’m in shock. He’s doing what I wanted to do the moment I saw him on my porch but didn’t have the courage to do but now he’s given me such a great opening. Who am I to refuse? Immediately the shock wears off and my arms wrap themselves around his shoulders. I rest my head on his chest and do the same thing he did, inhale. Finally, the knot that’s been forming in my stomach for the past two weeks releases and the weight that’d been settled on me lifts. I fill my lungs with his heady scent and allow myself to savor being with him.
We stand like that, tangled in each other for what could be a second, an hour, or forever. When we finally let go, there’s a tenderness on Cole’s face that resembles an emotion I’m scared to death of. My heart skips a beat because of the way he’s looking at me. His fingers skim over my face, tracing every feature until they come to rest on my cheek, which is undoubtedly colored red and heated.
“Did I tell you that I missed you?”
I shake my head coyly, watching as amusement flickers across his eyes. “Hmm, I guess I didn’t. Can you blame me? If we didn’t get out of there soon, I thought your mom would propose.”
I burst out laughing at that and so does he. It’s amazing how he just knows what I’m thinking or feeling and isn’t afraid to call me out on it.
“You better stay away from her then. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold her back. She seems to be slightly obsessed with you. It’s creepy.”
“What can I say? The O’Connell women can’t seem to resist me.”