by Sammy King
“It had to be this way” Alice said dryly as she stood and looked out the window. “I have to get ready to go to work. I will be back by the morning, be washed and ready, we will go and get you some clothes of your own”
Alice turned and left the house with the sounds of Laura’s wracking sobs filling the air. She stomped through the woods, her agitation growing with every step. Not only at Laura’s reaction to the hair, but her thoughts about Porter and the cries of her lover. It was getting too much to bare. Alice was seething on her walk through the woods, she stomped her way down the path lost in her own anger. With her head down thinking about Laura and Porter she felt herself plough into a chest. Alice looked up into the face of Porter frowning down at her.
“Nurse Alice” he said as he grabbed her waist preventing her stumbling back onto the ground.
“Porter” Alice said, righting herself with frustration, her face blushing.
Porter still had his hands on her waist as he gazed down at her. She couldn’t read his face, but his eyes were trying to tell her a story. For a moment Alice thought that her face may have given too much away and she quickly replaced her look with her blank mask that she had learnt to wear.
“Excuse me, I need to get into work” Alice said, reaching up and gently touching Porter’s fingers that had encircled her small waist.
Porter shook his head as if shaking himself out of a trance and cleared his throat.
“Ah yes, of course you do.” Porter stepped aside for Alice to move around him. “Um, Alice, can I meet with you in the chapel later on, to talk about some things?”
Alice nodded her head and swiftly moved into the front doors of the asylum.
When her shift had come to an end Alice was tossing up whether she could sneak out of the asylum so as to avoid Porter when he skirted around the corner. Alice swallowed the groan that was building up in her throat. She was still feeling anger at Laura’s reactions to the loss of her hair and the last thing she wanted was to be confronted by Porter, the apple of Laura’s eye.
“Alice, will you join me in the chapel?” he asked.
Alice forced a smile to her lips and nodded following him into the small room. Porter sat down on the wooden pew in the front of the chapel and tapped the seat next to him, indicating for Alice to sit with him. Alice gingerly sat beside him smoothing her skirts over her legs, forcing her face to stay blank.
“Alice, I keep wracking my brain as to where I know you from, but I can’t put my finger on it” Porter said, looking into her face.
Alice frowned, she remembered clearly where he knew her from and it hurt her to think that she was so forgettable. Yet he didn’t forget his precious Laura, she thought.
“We may have met in the town perhaps, I grew up here” she spoke calmly, trying to keep the agitation and jealousy out of her voice.
Porter shook his head and frowned as he tapped his chin.
“No Alice, that’s not true, I spoke with Stefan about you, he said that you grew up in an orphanage and there is no orphanage for two counties”
Alice began to fidget with her fingers, her anger was beginning to rise and she had to wonder what right Stefan had discussing her childhood with the clergy. She wondered whether Stefan disclosed his role in Alice’s childhood. She swallowed the snort that almost escaped, Stefan would never tell those secrets, she thought.
“Yes I did. Look Porter. We have been intimate.” She said with a sigh not able to keep the façade up anymore.
Porter’s eyes widened and Alice could see him going back through the faces of his conquests trying to place which woman she was. Suddenly recognition spread across his face.
“The bridge” he spoke just above a whisper.
Alice forced the smile again as she watched Porter visibly pale. She nodded and continued to fidget with her fingers. Suddenly she stood as the room began to heat up and she started to feel stifled.
“Excuse me father, I need to get home” she said quickly turning on her heels and fleeing the chapel.
As she left the room Alice quickly glanced over her shoulder to see Porter drop his head into his hands. The further she got away from Porter, the better she began to feel. But the dread of trying to take Laura into the village weighed on her. She couldn’t help but feel that this was going to end badly for them all.
Chapter Twenty Three
Laura.
Laura cried for what felt like hours after Alice left for work that evening. Sleep finally came but only in spurts. She couldn’t believe her once beautiful hair was in a clump on the table. Laura tentatively ran her hand over her scalp, feeling the prickles of the stubble that covered her head, the tears endlessly ran down her face in despair. She felt so silly crying over hair knowing it would grow back, but she already felt so ugly, being as thin as she had become and now without hair, she lost all of her identity. She wanted to be angry at Porter; she wanted to blame him for all of her problems. But she couldn’t, Laura realised when she had seen him standing at the window while Alice licked her folds and she orgasmed, that she still loved him, he still held her heart.
The door swung open pulling Laura from her thoughts, Alice stood in the threshold, she looked furious.
“Why aren’t you ready” Alice bellowed. “I told you to wash and get dressed ready to go into town”
Laura instinctively pulled back. She quickly reached for the wash bowl and began to wash at her face and arms. Alice stepped towards her and grabbed Laura’s arm, spinning her around to face Alice. She scrubbed at Laura’s face so hard that her skin stung from the angry swipes. She wasn’t gentle like she had been in the hospital. Once Laura was washed to Alice’s standard, she threw a dress at Laura.
“Put this on” she spat.
Laura slowly put the dress on over her head, it swam on Laura’s small shrunken frame, but Alice seemed satisfied. She leaned forward and wrapped a scarf around Laura’s head, leaving just her eyes visible and slid some shoes towards her feet which were too tight. Alice tugged at Laura’s hand and dragged her through the front door. Laura blinked hard at the sprinkling of light that seemed blindingly bright through the canopy. Alice didn’t seem to have time to let Laura relax and take in the beautiful spring air, instead marching on into town dragging Laura at her heels.
As they came into town, Laura’s senses were filled with the familiar scents and sounds and she instantly began to relax. She could almost forget everything that was happening to her at that moment. But her serenity was cut short as Alice dragged her into the market to the dressmaker. Laura stood uncomfortably, feeling like everyone’s eyes were on her.
“Do not say a single word, if anyone recognises you, they will send you straight back to the asylum and I won’t be there to prevent Stefan from having his go at you” Alice growled into Laura’s ear while pinching her arm tight.
Laura winced at both the pain and warning. She wanted to run; she wanted to go back to her home, to her father’s arms. But she didn’t want to take the risk that he would send her back to the asylum. In her fear she decided it was safer to do as Alice asked.
Once Alice had found clothes suitable for Laura, she began to drag her back to the cottage. As they neared the bridge, Laura was assaulted with memories, the buxom red head being loved by Porter, Porter’s demonic eyes watching her, revelling in his pleasure. Laura glanced over at Alice who led the way. Alice’s red hair hung down her back. Laura watched the large curves of Alice’s hips as she turned to see why Laura was stalling. It struck Laura suddenly. Alice was the woman with Porter that day. Laura stopped unable to move any further. Alice stepped towards her, angry at Laura’s hesitation.
“What is going on?” Alice growled.
Laura pointed at Alice and shook her head.
“You” she said barely loud enough for Alice to hear “It was you”
“What was me?” Alice asked, looking at Laura like she had freshly lost her mind again.
“You were the one, here under the bridge, you were the one
who took him” Laura screamed, ripping her hand from Alice’s.
Alice’s eyes widened as her face paled. She shook her head and stepped closer, but Laura stumbled backwards, she couldn’t stand to be near Alice any longer, she knew she had to get away from her.
“No Laura, your imagining things” Alice spoke softly. “Please, come now, we need to get you home, you’re sick”
Laura shook her head, she wasn’t going to be talked into going back with Alice and she knew what she saw, there was no imagining the show that haunted her for years. Alice took Porter from her, Laura knew she had to run, it was her only chance. Suddenly Laura spun and hitched her skirts up, running. The shoes slipped from her feet, but Laura continued to run. She didn’t want to hesitate to see if Alice was behind her. She tried to hear, but couldn’t, the only audible sound was the blood pounding through her ears. She felt like her lungs were bleeding, her muscles were on fire, but her legs were refusing to stop. Soon Laura saw her house begin to appear. There was no smoke coming from the chimney, the garden her mother once had beautiful flowers and vegetables growing in were no longer kept. Laura took the chance to look behind her and was relieved to see that she seemed to have managed to lose Alice.
Laura reached the front door of the cottage and tested the small metal knob; it turned and the door opened with a creak. The room was dark and cold. But Laura felt safe, she felt like she was home. For the first time in a long time Laura felt whole again. She felt sane once more.
Chapter Twenty Four
Alice.
She had tried to follow Laura, but she had been too fast for Alice and she had lost her in the thick woods. Alice knew that Laura lived somewhere in the woods before she had come to the asylum but she didn’t know where it was and knew it would be a waste of time to walk aimlessly trying to find the home. Alice hadn’t even known that Laura had seen her and Porter that day under the bridge.
Alice found herself sitting on the bank of the river, staring into the murky water as it washed over the rocks below the bridge. Her mind continued to wander to that day. Porter had seen her in the village, he had told her how beautiful her hair was and how much it complemented the pale tone of her skin. Alice knew she was stupid for falling into his snare. But his words were so sweet and those brown eyes, filled with lust and desire seemed to carry her away. Before Alice could control what she was doing she had her skirts hiked around her waist and Porter was buried hip deep into her, smothering her neck in sweet kisses. Laura said that she saw them, that Alice stole Porter from Laura. Alice had never met Laura until the asylum.
She sat on the edge of the river feeling completely deflated. She didn’t know where Laura was. She didn’t have anyone left. Alice flopped herself back into the long grass and wildflowers that edged the river and closed her eyes, feeling the waning sun warm her face. She laid there for some time until she felt a shadow cast over her face. Slowly Alice opened her eyes and saw Porter staring down at her. He held a frown on his brow as he moved to sit beside her in the long grass.
“Where is Laura?” he asked with a weary sigh.
Alice shrugged, for the first time she was telling the truth, she truly didn’t know where Laura was.
“I don’t know she ran away from me” she said, feeling the bitter tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
Porter grabbed hold of Alice’s shoulders and sharply turned her to look at him.
“You mean, you had her, that whole time you had her?” he demanded.
The tears spilled over and cascaded down her cheeks as she nodded. Laura, the girl who she wanted to give her heart to, who wouldn’t receive it was gone.
“Fuck it” he spat. “You took her, you hid her”
Alice couldn’t form words, she just nodded mutely. The tears came in heavier waves and her breath caught in her chest evolving to a sob. Porter stood pulling on Alice’s arm, dragging her up the bank and onto the road.
“Come with me” he said gruffly.
Alice felt completely broken, she had no desire to fight anymore, so she simply dropped her head and let Porter lead her. Before long they were at the local church and he dragged her inside. Alice heard that he recently become the local vicar and was given his own church. He dragged her down to the altar. Her tears hadn’t ceased and she still wasn’t able to form words as he dragged her down onto the front pew. Porter grabbed Alice by the shoulders and shook her violently.
“Stop crying” he demanded “why did you take her?”
Alice shrugged her shoulders.
“I love her” she said through a sob.
Porter let out a growl, his eyes became almost black with anger and Alice could feel panic begin to creep into her heart. Her blood turned to icicles when he grabbed at her throat. His eyes were still black in colour and she couldn’t read his face. Porter’s breath was coming in hard ragged puffs as he bared his teeth, growling deep in his throat.
“You are nothing to her” he spat as he released Alice’s throat with a shove. “She is mine, she will always be mine” he growled.
Alice fell back hard against the pew, clutching her throat with a trembling hand, she watched Porter take his belt from his pants and strip from his shirt. Porter knelt in front of the altar, his back bared to Alice, with a crack, the belt cut into the scarred skin. Instantly the skin split into a red oozing welt, Alice winced with every crack, but she couldn’t take her eyes away from the sight of his self-flagellation. After the tenth or eleventh whack Porter knelt forward and Alice heard a gut wrenching sob fall from his lips. She edged forward on the seat as he dropped his shoulders and began to tremble under the weight of his tears.
Alice inched her way towards Porter and reached out a tentative hand to his shoulder, careful not to touch the wounds of opened flesh. Porter winced under her touch, but didn’t lift his face from his hands. She scooted forward and edged herself to his side, watching him, fear caught in her throat, her reflexes ready to arc away at any sudden movement. He gingerly reached up and touched her fingers, clasping them in his hand and bringing them to his lips. Alice could feel tears begin to well in her eyes as he pulled her closer to his chest. Both of them joined in the grief of having lost the one they loved. Porter held her against himself tight, running his hand through her long hair. He brought the strands up in his fingers studying the red hair that tangled through his hands. Porter roved his eyes over Alice’s face, she felt sudden shyness and wanted to look away but felt drawn to connect with him. He licked his bottom lip and his eyes began to darken again, gently Porter touched her face.
“I saw you Alice, I saw the way you loved Laura, but I heard her call my name” he said, although his words hurt Alice, there was no smugness in his voice.
Alice looked away, her heart aching with the reminder of where Laura’s heart laid. Alice felt Porter’s breath on her neck and she closed her eyes as he nibbled at the sensitive skin below her ear. His arm that had her caught around the waist tightened, bringing her harder against his chest. Porter’s lips moved along her jawline and towards the corner of her mouth. She felt his tongue slip from between his lips as he tasted her skin. Alice could feel the moan that was building in her throat come to the surface as she closed her eyes and allowed pleasure to wash over her. Porter captured her mouth with light kisses on her bottom lip and ran his tongue along the seam. She opened her lips so that he could taste her more, but it felt like he was hesitant, that he was holding back. She pushed her lips harder against his, wanting him to deepen their kiss, but he infuriated her with light kisses.
Suddenly a gasp pulled her away; she looked up to catch the sight of Laura standing behind her and Porter. Laura’s eyes were wide and swollen with tears. Alice tried to pull away from Porter’s grasp and stand to run to Laura, but he continued to hold her tight against him. When Laura spun on her heel and ran from the chapel, Alice clawed at Porter to let her go.
“Laura, please, it’s not what you think? Please” Alice screamed, struggling to get out of Porter’s hold.
“What is it then Alice?” Porter growled into her ear.
Alice screamed, punching at his arms and scratching at his face, trying to push him away. She needed to chase after Laura, she was who Alice loved. Alice didn’t want Porter, he was a mistake. She needed to make Laura see that. When she was able to struggle free from Porter, Alice stood on unsteady legs and ran from the chapel. She looked up and down the road, but didn’t see Laura; she felt her body slump against the wall of the chapel with the thought that again Laura was gone. Alice fell to her knees in the doorway and screamed at her loss. When she looked up, she could see the town’s people stopping and staring at her like she had lost her mind. Alice’s face turned red under the weight of her blush as she quickly stood and ran towards her cottage.
Chapter Twenty Five
Laura.
Laura sat in the quiet stillness of her house, the house she grew up in, the house that held so many memories, both happy and sad. She didn’t know where her father had gone after she went to the hospital, she got the occasional letter from him, but it never contained an address and they were always free of emotion. Laura assumed he went back to his home deep in the woods. As she grew hungry Laura realised she would need to eat, but the house was empty, she had no money and the garden beds once filled with vegetables were now overgrown with only weeds rather than carrots and radishes. Laura decided she would need to risk going into the town to the vicar to see about getting some food. She didn’t want to beg and without hair, she couldn’t even sell that in order to get some money. Laura’s heart broke again as she thought of her hair being taken from her.
She was glad to see that her clothes, although nothing special and by far not many, were still in her room. After drawing water from the well and washing, she quickly dressed, wrapping her bald head in one of her mother’s shawls. As Laura opened the front door she sucked in a deep breath of relief, she felt free, she felt more like herself than she had in a very long time, in so long she couldn’t actually remember when she last felt so good.