I'm sitting in what they call a dining hall. It's filled with huge, long tables lined with wooden benches. Daniel is sitting next to me, mom is at another table talking to Roxy, and Miles is across the table several spaces down from me. He is predictably seated next to that stupid girl, Sabrina. People are eagerly filling their mouths and talking and laughing with one another. It makes the process of eating seem so long; they have to consume a lot of food in order to get as much nutrition as they would from a capsule. I have a few things sitting on my plate, but I haven't touched them.
"What's wrong Mari? Aren't you hungry?" Daniel asks as he chews on something white and stringy.
"I just feel... uncomfortable eating this stuff," I respond, gazing out again at the hundreds of Dissenters who shovel the food into their mouths without a second thought.
"What are you worried about? Losing your Amplifier?" He teases.
I make a face at him, but he does have a point. The general punishment for eating real food in the Community is loss of Amplification, so there's really no threat for me there, but honestly, it just doesn't seem very sanitary.
"Where did you guys get all this stuff?" I ask.
"We grow it," Daniel replies. "Or kill it."
"Kill? Kill what?"
"Chickens, cows, fish..."
"Okay, I get it," I interrupt, starting to feel a little queasy.
"Really, Mari," Daniel says earnestly, "just try it. You can start with this." He points at a small, red fruit on my plate.
"What is it?"
"A strawberry. It's delicious, trust me."
I pick up the strawberry and sniff it tentatively. It smells fresh, like when it rains, which only happens a few times a year in the Community. I close my eyes and take a small bite of the red berry. Oh, wow. It's like my tongue has just woken up from a ten-year nap. I've never tasted anything so incredible. None of the capsules even come close to being this good. I enthusiastically eat the rest of the strawberry and then look up and see that everyone nearby is staring at me. I guess seeing someone eat real food for the first time is pretty entertaining. I glance over at Miles. I can't quite read his expression, but I wouldn't mind if he kept looking at me like that for hours. Next to him, Sabrina rolls her eyes.
In my holding cell, I dream of strawberries all night long.
Chapter 15
There are 9 people on the committee. Among them are my mother, Roxy, Blaine, and Miles. I stare at my feet as they break out into another argument about my motives.
We're in a large room watching surveillance of some of my actions and conversations from the past year. The whole process seems annoyingly familiar. They spent the first hour interrogating me about my three months in Training and all the things I did when I was Amplified. Then they went through a bunch of incriminating videos from the last several months. Overall, it's been miserable. Having my life debated and dissected like this almost makes me wish I would've been strangled by that snake. At least they cut off the video of me talking to father's grave before I started rambling about my feelings for Miles. That would have been embarrassing.
"She requested to have her Amplifier removed," yells a beefy guy with a mustache so wiry it almost looks accidental, "and that was after the Governor personally offered her a position with the Restrainers!"
"But look at her behavior after that," counters Roxy. "She was completely useless for three weeks! Clearly, she regretted her decision."
"She was likely going through withdrawals," a tiny woman comments, her voice as small as her body.
"Maybe," Blaine adds, "but that's still no excuse for lying in bed all day. She should have exercised more willpower."
"Yes, she should have," my mom confesses. She's stayed silent throughout this whole review, so when she speaks, everyone suddenly pays close attention.
"I'll admit I was frustrated and a little scared with the way Mari acted when she came back from Training, but in a way, I understood what she was going through."
The rest of the committee furrows their brows in confusion. Shoot, even I don't know where she's going with this.
"When I was about Mari's age," she continues, "I lost my eyesight. I got caught in a huge storm and was knocked unconscious by some falling rocks. When I woke up the next morning, I could no longer see. It was a very difficult time. Things I was once able to do so easily became nearly impossible overnight. I spent weeks feeling deeply depressed, with no motivation to do the things I used to love. It took a long time to gain back my confidence. I've learned to live with blindness, and sometimes I use it to my advantage, but that doesn't mean I don't have moments when I wish I could see."
I stare at my mom. I've heard the story of how she lost her sight several times, but she's never shared how she felt about it. I can't imagine my mother, who is one of the most solid people I know, ever doubting herself, much less being depressed. I feel bad that she had to recount her time of weakness in order to defend me. It almost makes me want to forgive her for planning to leave me to fend for myself while she escaped to the Dissenter base. Almost.
Everyone else is silent, apparently considering this new perspective. So I take this opportunity to speak up.
"Look," I say, "I don't even know if I want to be a Dissenter."
A few committee members start muttering in frustration, and Miles presses his lips together and shakes his head.
"Then why did you seek us out?" Roxy presses. "Why did you come here?"
"I wanted answers," I reply. "I want to know what the North is up to and what the Governor won't tell us."
"You'll find out soon enough," Roxy assures me. "But tell me, why don't you want to become a Dissenter?"
"I'm tired," I admit, wondering why I'm ashamed to say it. "I'm sick of hurting and resisting and pushing. I don't know that I'm ready to commit to fighting for something when I don't have all the facts. Maybe I just want to be neutral, to live my life without taking sides."
There is an uncomfortable silence as my declaration of apathy sets in. My mother is frowning. Finally, Miles steps forward.
"Mari, you're going to have to choose a side eventually. The middle ground is disappearing quickly and if you remain indifferent to a cause, you'll be caught in the crossfire. There's really no safe place to sit and wait it out."
Miles is staring at me so intensely that I have to look away. All the other committee members nod at Miles in agreement. It seems odd that someone as young as Miles would garner so much respect.
"Regardless of where her loyalties lie," Blaine asserts, "we have to make sure she can be trusted. She knows where our base is, we can't just let her go back to the Community."
"This is true," Roxy declares, chewing on the side of her mouth. She looks me over, then shrugs. "Tell you what, we'll put you on probation. You can stay here for two weeks to see how we do things and to find all your answers. Does that sound good to everyone?"
They all give their assent in varying degrees of enthusiasm. Roxy turns back to me. "Does that sound good to you?"
I don't really have much of a choice.
"Sure."
Chapter 16
"Keep your hands by your face, Gwen!"
Miles' advice is too late. Sabrina punches Gwen in the jaw and sends her spinning backwards. Gwen tries to regain her composure to come back at Sabrina, but instead she trips over her feet and falls to the floor. Sabrina smirks with satisfaction. Her arrogance makes me a little sick.
It's been two days since I fell into the lake. After my meeting with the committee yesterday, Daniel proudly showed me the rest of the base. I saw the great hall where all of the Dissenters meet together, the innovation shop where some of the more mechanically minded Dissenters create new tools, weapons, and gadgets, and the artifact room, which is full of a bunch of ancient, historical stuff. But I was especially impressed with the greenhouse where all the food is grown. The massive glass rectangle sits in a chamber where the sun comes through a few small holes in the ceiling. The special glass someh
ow magnifies the small amount of sunlight so that the greenhouse almost looks like it's glowing. Next to the greenhouse are some enclosures where they keep chickens, pigs, and rabbits. There are no animals in the Community, so I can't imagine where the Dissenters would have gotten them. When I asked Daniel, he said he didn't know.
Now I'm watching Miles and Sabrina train the new young recruits. There are only a handful of them, which isn't surprising. Amplification is so accepted among the young people these days that hardly anyone renounces it. I guess Roxy trains the older recruits, but I doubt it looks anything similar to this.
We're in a well-lit, large room with a raised platform in the middle. The platform is slightly soft and springy, almost like a boxing ring, but without the ropes. Miles gave some basic instruction on defense and demonstrated a few hits and kicks, and then the recruits started practicing with Sabrina. I know it's good to be as realistic as possible in these simulated fights, but Sabrina has been pretty brutal.
As Gwen staggers back to the group, a small girl walks tentatively on to the platform, looking at Sabrina as if she were a monster, which, in my opinion, seems pretty accurate. I'm guessing the girl is about 9 years old. I wonder what caused her to join the Dissenters at such a young age.
"Okay, Jacqueline," Miles urges, looking a little nervous, "remember what I told you about using your size to your advantage. You can do some maneuvers that are a lot more difficult for most people." Jacqueline nods apprehensively as she faces Sabrina. "All right?" Miles announces. "Begin."
Immediately, Sabrina lunges, but Jacqueline moves out of her way and Sabrina flies past. This gives Jacqueline a perfect opportunity to push Sabrina off the platform, but she doesn't take it. Instead, she gets as far away from her as she can. Sabrina advances again with several kicks, but Jacqueline demonstrates her agility by dodging all of them. After about a minute of chasing Jacqueline around the platform, Sabrina finally lands a punch on the young girl's shoulder, sending her tumbling to the ground.
Jacqueline gets up quickly, but instead of fleeing again, she runs straight at her opponent. Sabrina assumes a wide stance and prepares for the attack, but right before contact, Jacqueline lowers herself, slides feet first between Sabrina's legs, and gives her a sound kick in the buttocks. A few of the recruits laugh and cheer. Sabrina screams in rage and pounces on Jacqueline, pinning her to the floor and hitting her relentlessly. Miles is shouting something, but his words are lost in Jacqueline's cries of pain.
Before I even know what I'm doing, I'm on the platform, pulling Jacqueline out from underneath Sabrina and hovering over her to protect her from Sabrina's vicious blows. I catch a few punches in the melee, but soon Jacqueline is out of harm's way.
"What do you think you're doing?" Sabrina shouts at me.
I don't answer her. Instead I turn to Jacqueline and look over her injuries. She's bleeding above her eyebrow and she's holding her side. "Are you all right?" I ask. "Yeah, I think so," she replies shakily.
"Hey! What are you doing?" Sabrina repeats. But before I can answer, she kicks me in the back. I jump up and face her.
"What is wrong with you?" I demand. "What's the use of beating up a little girl?"
"I'm not here to coddle anybody," Sabrina spits out. "If she wants to be with the Dissenters, she needs to know how dangerous it's going to be. Right Miles?"
Miles looks tired, as if this might not be the first time a situation like this has happened. He rubs his forehead as he approaches the platform.
"It can be very brutal in the field," Miles admits, "however, it's unlikely that someone Jacqueline's age would be put in a combat position."
Sabrina scowls. Apparently, that wasn't quite the answer she was looking for.
"Sabrina, why don't you take a break for a while?"
"Sure. Right after I fight this one," she says, gesturing at me.
"I don't want to fight you," I respond.
"Why? Are you scared?" She taunts. "I bet it's pretty hard for you to do anything without your Amplifier."
I grit my teeth. I hate to admit it, but this girl knows exactly which buttons to push.
"That's not necessary, Sabrina," Miles says, "she's undecided about her allegiance to the Dissenters."
"Well, then maybe this will help her decide," Sabrina retorts.
"There are plenty of new recruits — "
"No, I'll do it," I interject. "It'll be good practice."
Sabrina sneers. Miles rubs his forehead again.
"Okay," Miles says as he walks off the platform, "but be careful Mari, Sabrina's been doing this for years."
Sabrina and I both glare at Miles. I'm angry that he underestimates me and she's probably mad because he's trying to protect me. He sighs and shakes his head. "Ready? Begin."
I almost command myself to do a spinning kick at Sabrina's head, but then remember with frustration that I'm not Amplified. Sabrina takes advantage of my hesitation and punches me in the stomach. It's hard to breathe. I manage to swat at her shoulder, but she's moved out of reach before I can do any real damage. I jump forward and kick at her, but she moves out of the way, causing me to stumble awkwardly toward the edge of the platform. What am I doing? I think. I've never fought anyone without an Amplifier, why did I think I could do this? Sabrina hits the side of my face then knees me in the hip, sending me tumbling off the platform. I fall to the floor and land on my side.
It's her laugh that makes me get up again. I ache all over, but I struggle to my feet and roll back onto the platform. I lay there on my stomach for a few moments. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sabrina approaching. When she's about a foot away, I swing my leg around and knock her off her feet. She gets back up quickly, but I can tell she's mad. She tries to kick me in the chest, but I grab her foot and pull her down to the ground again. She's a little slower getting up this time, and she looks livid. I scramble to my feet as she comes at me with a series of kicks and hits, but I'm able to avoid all but one punch to my side. Finally, she jumps and spins, her foot aimed at my torso, but I duck under the kick, then elbow her in the face right before she lands. She gasps and falls to the ground, clutching her face.
"That's not fair!" She screams, blood streaming through her fingers. "She wasn't supposed to come back onto the platform a second time! I think she broke my nose!"
Miles walks over to Sabrina and hands her a towel. "You didn't tell her the rules," he comments calmly, wiping blood off the floor. "Plus, there are no rules in the field."
Sabrina growls and stomps out of the room. Miles is keeping a straight face, but I can tell that he's trying not to smile.
____________
"Hey Felix, are you always in this room?"
"I am when I'm not spying somewhere or on a mission."
I'm finished with training for the day and headed back to my cell. I noticed Felix alone in the surveillance room and thought maybe he could use some company. I step into the small room lined with screens which are broadcasting live footage from all across the Community.
"I bet you see a lot down here," I say, sitting in a chair next to him.
"Yeah," he sighs, "sometimes more than I'd like."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it used to be pretty fun watching people. They'd do cool stuff, funny stuff, stupid stuff. But lately people are so hungry that they do some truly awful things. Like over here. See?" Felix gestures to one of the screens showing a woman attacking a small boy for his nutrition capsule. "That's not even the worst I've seen," he remarks somberly.
I shudder. Watching hours and hours of people losing it in this war would make a young boy like Felix grow up real fast.
"Did you happen to see if the soldiers made it back from the Outer Reaches?" I ask, partly to change the subject.
"Yeah, they came back yesterday," he replies, pushing a few buttons until some of the screens are showing the soldiers. "They're in Compound E now, regrouping and getting treatment for injuries."
I scan the videos, looking for Alia and
anyone else I might know. The soldiers look pretty fatigued and beat up, but they're alive. I see my old nemesis Tristan scowling as someone bandages his arm. Finally I spot Alia with Liam and Joby. They're huddled together and talking anxiously. I wonder what they're saying.
I look back over at Felix.
"How long have you been a Dissenter?"
"My whole life," he replies. "My parents are both Dissenters and I was born here at the base, so I guess I didn't really have a choice."
"Do you ever wish you could have a choice?" I pry. "Have an opportunity to be Amplified?"
"I used to," he confesses. "But now after what I've seen, not a chance."
Chapter 17
The base is nearly empty. Almost everyone left to go on some mission they wouldn't tell me about. I thought maybe I'd be able to see them on the surveillance monitors, but the room was locked. So I go to the library instead.
I search through the dusty shelves until I find my great-great-grandmother's journal again. I pull out the picture of Lucia and study it more carefully. I'd mistake the woman for my mom except that her hair is shorter and her mouth is a little wider. Plus, she's wearing ancient clothes. I sit down at the nearest table and open to the first entry in the journal.
I'm so excited! I actually met someone who has an Amplifier today! I was finishing up my shift at the museum when he walked into the Civil Wars Room. I didn't know he was Amplified at first, but then I overheard him commanding himself to recall the history of the 4th Urban War so he could compare it with the plaque on the wall. I couldn't help asking him a few questions. He said he got Amplified a few years ago to cure his lung cancer. It was an incredible story. Then he showed me a few tricks he could do with his Amplifier. He did a flying kick and almost knocked over a case of ancient guns! It was amazing to see someone that old move like that. Sometimes I wish I could be Amplified.
I chuckle at her enthusiasm. She didn't put dates on any of the entries, but I'm guessing it was probably about 50 years after they began the Amplification Project. I flip past several pages and read another entry.
The Dissenters Page 7