by Elise Noble
“I’m glad we took the afternoon off,” I whispered.
Logan chuckled against my shoulder and it tickled. “Wonder who’s gonna win the pool?”
I froze. Of all the words Logan could have said to me, he’d picked the six that turned my veins to ice. I knew he didn’t mean anything horrible by them, but even as he tugged at the tie of my dress, a rogue tear slipped out.
And of course, Logan noticed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Kitten, you’re crying. Do you want me to stop?”
I shook my head, but I couldn’t speak because then the dam would break. Why did my past have to rear its ugly head at the most inopportune moments?
Logan kissed me again, and I tried to kiss him back, but the heat and passion of a few moments ago had disappeared.
“Talk to me, Sloane.” He tugged the edges of my dress together. “What did I do? If you don’t tell me, I can’t fix it.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s something somebody else did a long, long time ago, but I can’t get the memories out of my head. This is all me, not you.”
He carried me through to the living room and sat on the sofa, holding me sideways on his lap with his arms loose around my waist. Even when I screwed up, he was kind.
“I mentioned the pool in the office. Is that what upset you? It’s nothing personal—they bet on everything, and the guys all knew I was gonna make a play for you sooner or later.”
“They did?”
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off your ass.”
Even though he could be crude, his honesty still made me smile. And if we were going to get through this, I knew I had to be honest with him, no matter how much it hurt. I slumped against his chest, eyes fixed on the far end of the sofa because if I had to look at him while I bared my soul, I’d never speak.
“I was eighteen, and his name was Joey McManus. The star quarterback at Allenvale High, and my biology lab partner. He made me nervous at first, but he was nice to me, and when we had to dissect a frog, he did the cutting and didn’t even laugh when I ran to the bathroom to puke. After that, we started eating lunch together. He quit sitting at the cool table with the other jocks for me. Me. Sloane Mullins, the chubby nerd who couldn’t name a single reality TV show but who knew all the answers in physics.” Logan’s arms tightened around me, and I sniffled against his shoulder. “I bet you sat at the cool table.”
“Mostly, I was smoking behind the janitor’s storage shed with Christian and Trey.”
“You smoke?”
“Not anymore. Not for years.” Logan tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear. “Kitten, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
“No, I need to get it out.” I sucked in another breath. “Anyhow, Joey and I started dating. He asked me to prom. I went to football games, and I tried so hard to love the game even though it secretly bored me. And then…” I took a deep breath, forcing the air in because it felt as if my throat was closing up. “Then I slept with him. It was my first time, and I was all over the place because I didn’t know what I was doing, but it happened, and it was… Let’s just say, I couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Still can’t, if I’m honest.”
“Give me a week, and you won’t be saying that.”
There was no arrogance in Logan’s statement, only sincerity, and I believed him. Even now, when I was a sobbing, shaking mess, he still made my blood run hot. I pressed a kiss against his shoulder before I carried on.
“The next day, Joey didn’t answer my messages or my calls, and when I got to school, he blanked me. It turned out he’d made a bet. Every player on the varsity football team roster would pay him a hundred bucks if he took my virginity. He got two thousand dollars, and I got a crushed heart. So now you understand why I freaked out when you mentioned the pool at work, and that’s also why I was cold yesterday. Because I overheard Nate and Luther talking about it.”
“Sloane, I’m so sorry.”
“There’s nothing you need to be sorry for. Like I said, it’s all me.”
“I’m sorry on behalf of mankind that you got treated that way. I won’t pretend I’m a saint because I’m not, but when you give me your heart—and I do mean when, not if—I’m gonna treat it with the care and respect and love it deserves.”
Now I began crying harder, good tears mixed with pain, and Logan just held me, occasionally kissing my hair while I sobbed. But I wasn’t finished yet.
“It got worse.”
“Fuck.”
“Joey had to prove he’d delivered on the bet, so he filmed the whole thing with a hidden camera. Everybody in my high school saw the damn video, even the teachers judging by the way they looked at me. The football team had T-shirts made with ‘Is that gonna fit?’ written across them. Red with white block letters. I can still see them now.”
“Is that why you always went for the safe option afterwards? Men like Kenneth with tiny dicks?” Logan looked a little sheepish. “Shit. Sorry.”
A snort of laughter escaped, but there was truth in his words. “I guess I picked men who couldn’t hurt me because I didn’t like them enough to love them. That’s why you scare me so much.”
I ended on a whisper, and Logan captured my lips in a searing kiss.
“Don’t be scared, kitten. Full disclosure: there’re cameras all over the house as part of the security system, but they’re turned off. I’ll show you how to check that.”
“I trust you.” I closed my eyes so I could finish without getting distracted. “The Joey mess happened right before my final exams, and I failed almost everything. On the day of my physics paper, I went to use the bathroom right before it started, and every stall had a picture of my naked butt taped to the back of it. I walked out and never returned. My parents were furious.”
“They didn’t support you?”
“Dad spent most of his life chasing women who weren’t my mom, which didn’t leave him much time to care about his daughter. And Mom said I should suck it up, that I should be proud of my body and hold my head high. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.”
“And the teachers? What did the principal say?”
“Oh, boys will be boys. He wasn’t about to do anything that might jeopardise the football team’s chances, and like I said, Joey was the star quarterback.”
“Wait a second. You don’t mean the Joey McManus? Joey McManus who won the Heisman Trophy?”
“That’s him. Now you know why I won’t watch football. And also why I became a personal assistant. Originally, I wanted to be a physicist, but I lost my place at college.”
Funny how it got easier to talk about as I went on. My tears were drying up, probably because Logan hadn’t judged me or run screaming. No, he simply hugged me. We must have stayed like that for ten minutes, until my breathing calmed down and I could think straight again.
“Now what do we do?” I asked.
The moment we’d shared earlier had been lost, and I wouldn’t have blamed Logan if he just wanted to have a quiet meal and go to bed. This wasn’t what he’d signed up for.
“You want my honest answer or the one you want to hear?”
“What’s the one I want to hear?”
“I’ll cook you dinner, kiss you goodnight, and show you to your room, all gentlemanly.”
“And the truth?”
“I want to back you up against the nearest wall, remove your underwear with my teeth, and lick your pussy until you scream my name.”
Oh. My. Goodness. What was I supposed to say to that? A thousand words whirled around in my mind, but only two fell out of my mouth.
“Do it.”
“What?”
“Do it. Me. Just do me.” Darn it, all logic had gone again. “Please?”
Fortunately, Logan knew how to interpret my ramblings, because two and a half seconds later, he slammed me back against the wall by the door, kissing, sucking, even biting as he freaking devoured me. He was right—there wa
s nothing gentlemanly about it, but I couldn’t get enough. Something ripped as I grabbed at his shirt, and I broke a nail trying to get his jeans undone. But before I got at the goods, he tore my dress in two and dropped to his knees. I hung onto the doorjamb for dear life as he made good on his promise and peeled off my panties with his teeth. My bra had disappeared somewhere along the way too.
Naked before him, I didn’t feel any of the shame I used to feel with Kenneth. It was impossible with the way Logan looked up at me, setting me aflame with his gaze as he slowly took all of me in. His eyes finally locked on mine, and he didn’t break the connection as he went in for the kill with his tongue.
Okay, he definitely didn’t need a week to prove his earlier point. More like two minutes. The orgasm that tore through me left me on the floor in his arms, mostly speaking gibberish as he held me close. But I managed to get one word out.
“Bedroom?”
“Too damn fucking right, kitten.”
CHAPTER 22 - SLOANE
SUNRISE FOUND ME clinging onto one edge of Logan’s bed because he sprawled all over the place and took up most of it. And he was big. Big everywhere. More of a giant starfish than a man, really.
“Logan?”
“Mmm.”
“I’m about to fall on the floor.”
He wrapped one arm around my waist and dragged me across his chest, opening first one eye and then the other as he kissed me.
“Morning, kitten. Sleep well?”
Yes, for a whole three hours. “I’m so tired.”
“You can stay in bed today. I’ll just wake you up for sex occasionally.”
“Are you always this charming?”
“Pretty much, yeah. I’ll bring you food.”
He was joking. I saw the glint in his eyes. Although right now, his offer sounded quite good to me, even if I did feel slightly…worn. Logan didn’t seem to be suffering any ill effects from our exertions, though, judging by the tented sheet beside my right hip.
Of course, he didn’t miss my glance.
“Feel like another ride? Or do you want me to do the work?”
Morning sex? Another new thing for me. Lyndon had always risen with the larks to meditate while Kenneth preferred to wake up with the newspaper and a latte. I pinched myself in case I was dreaming.
“What’s that for?” Logan asked.
“I’m just having a hard time believing that I’m here with you. That you’re with me.”
“What can I say? I’m a tits-and-ass guy.”
He was so much more than that, but I was getting used to his crudeness now, and I figured I should play him at his own game.
“I guess that makes me a six-pack-and-cock girl.”
One quick move, and I was underneath him. “Sure does.” He squashed my breasts together, staring at them. “I love these tits. One day, I’m gonna fuck them. Then I’m gonna come all over them, push them up to your mouth, and watch you lick it off.”
I didn’t know whether to slap him or beg him to do exactly that right then. In the end, I just gave a little sigh and lay back, exhausted but still so, so needy.
“Do with me what you will, Mr. Barnes.”
On Saturdays, I usually went to Blackwood and so did Logan, but ten o’clock found us sitting at his kitchen counter, wearing one outfit between us. I had the shirt; he had the pants.
“Do you think we should go to the office?” I asked.
He slid a much-needed cup of coffee towards me. “Why?”
“Because… I guess because we always do? And shouldn’t we help with my, uh, case? Situation?”
“Agatha’s looking into things. I already talked to her while you were in the shower. She’s found your picture on two more websites, and she’s hacking into the accounts as we speak.”
“Oh.”
“Which means we can do whatever we want today.”
“What do you usually do at the weekends? When you’re not working, I mean.”
“Use the gym. Go for a swim. Hang out at the Brotherhood. Go on dates sometimes. You?”
“Not swimming.” I shuddered. “Or the gym. Occasionally I go out for dinner or watch TV. Groceries, cleaning, all the boring stuff.”
“What’s wrong with swimming?”
“Nothing per se, it’s more the thought of wearing a bathing suit in public.”
“We can swim today. I’ve got a pool.”
“I didn’t bring a suit. In fact, I’m not even sure the ones I have fit anymore.”
“Who said anything about a suit?”
“You can’t be serious?”
“I live in the middle of a fucking forest, Sloane.”
“I’m not sure—”
I didn’t get a chance to finish before he picked me up and carried me outside.
“Stop. Stop! I just had a shower.”
“Then you can just have another one.”
He didn’t even pause before he jumped into the pool, and I came up spluttering as he trod water and laughed. That asshole!
“I’m going to kill you.”
“Gotta catch me first.”
Of course, Logan swam like a fish, and after a fruitless chase, I clung to the side of the pool, out of breath with my hair plastered in rat-tails around my face. He soon joined me, minus the breathless part, and his hair looked artfully mussed instead of horrendous, but rather than an apology, I got, “Your shirt’s gone see-through.”
This man was going to frustrate the heck out of me, but as he peeled away the offending garment and gripped my butt under the water, I decided I didn’t care. I’d take Logan with all his faults and his filthy mouth and his assholic tendencies, over and over again, in any way I could get him.
On Sunday evening, I sipped a glass of wine as the sun went down. Logan had one of those old-fashioned swings on his back porch, and we’d curled up there under a blanket after dinner. Two days with him, and I felt different. Lighter inside. Possibly outside too since we’d spent the morning walking around his property while he checked the sensors for the security system.
This weekend had been an escape. An escape from the internet nightmare, an escape from my past, an escape from life in general. Would things change when we went back to work tomorrow? Would Logan come to his senses and realise I truly was just that awkward girl who didn’t quite fit?
He took a long sip of his beer as he twirled the ends of my hair with the fingers of his other hand.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“Which means everything.”
Why did he have to be so perceptive? “Only that I don’t want this weekend to be over.”
“It’s not over.”
“But soon it will be. What if everything changes tomorrow?”
“Between us, you mean? Nothing’s gonna change, kitten. Tomorrow, I’ll want you more than I do today, and today, I wanted you more than I did yesterday. Now that I’ve had a taste, I’ll never get enough.”
“But I’m no Emmy. You should be dating Superwoman.”
Logan burst out laughing. “Is that what you think? That I want a girl like Emmy? Couldn’t be further from the truth, gorgeous. Women like her and Ana and Sofia and Dan leave a trail of destruction wherever they go. At the end of the day, I just want to come home and relax with a hot woman and a cold beer. Come here.” He lifted me over to straddle him. “Believe me when I say I want you.”
Right then, I did. I could feel the evidence between my legs.
Logan had my wrap dress open in less than a second, and when he pulled my bra down and drew one nipple into his mouth, I breathed a long, drawn-out moan.
“I need to get you more of these tie-up dresses,” he said, pausing to look up at me. “And those tight skirts you wear to the office. I like them too.”
“You should stick with sweatpants. No underwear and no shirt.”
“Noted. I always knew there was a dirty girl hiding inside you. I just needed to set her free.”
He
wriggled down his pants—yes, the sweatpants that didn’t leave much to the imagination—produced a condom from somewhere, and before I could contradict him, he’d pushed my panties to one side and lowered me on top of his cock.
In two days, I’d gone from hell to heaven. Logan hit precisely the right spot as I rocked my hips, and I kept my eyes open as he kissed me. I wanted to remember every moment of this evening. The smoky aroma of food cooking on the grill, the chirping of the crickets as dusk fell, and the soothing warmth of the man I’d basically fallen in love with.
Please, Logan, don’t break my heart.
CHAPTER 23 - LOGAN
LOGAN SAT ON the floor in the mudroom, drinking his morning coffee with Nickel on his lap.
“How’re you feeling, little fella?” The cat raised his head, and Logan scritched behind his ears. “You want more salmon?”
He hadn’t really known what to feed Nickel, but with Sloane still in bed, he figured fish was a safe bet. They needed to leave for work in an hour, and he wanted Sloane to sleep for as long as possible. She’d been exhausted last night, and he had to accept some responsibility for that. Okay, all the responsibility.
But he finally had his woman in his house, and like a kid with a shiny new toy, he couldn’t stop playing with her. Twenty minutes, and he’d take her a cup of coffee. That should give them enough time for a quickie in the shower, and they could pick up breakfast on the way to the office.
It was a good plan, but the quickie turned into a not-so-quickie that left them both running out to his truck with Sloane still trying to fasten her necklace. Officially, they didn’t have set working hours, but Sloane had a conference call scheduled with some of their colleagues in Japan, and Logan had a nine o’clock meeting he couldn’t be late for. Actually, it was more of a test-slash-demonstration of a simulation system for their training facility. One that used virtual reality headsets rather than their current holograms and added extra layers to the experience with smells and vibrations. It would be a massive upgrade and a considerable investment, but one that could potentially pay dividends in the future.