by Anne Fraser
Did the man never sleep? Meagan wondered.
Conceding that there was little point in her going to the hospital, she decided to take a walk up to the big house to see Jessie. It would do her good to stretch her aching legs, she thought. It felt as if every bone in her body had been attacked with a hammer.
Jessie opened the door to her. She seemed delighted to see her. ‘Come on in,’ she said. ‘I’ll just put on the kettle and then you can tell me all about last night’s excitement. Goodness, Meagan, ever since you arrived, it’s been all go.’
Meagan collapsed into a comfy chair and related the night’s events, interrupted only by Jessie’s oohs and aahs.
‘He’s something else, our Cameron, isn’t he?’ Jessie said, giving Meagan a coy look from her lively green eyes.
Meagan realised she must have being going on a bit about Cameron. But anyone who had seen him in action the night before would have told the same tale.
‘C’mon, Jessie. You can stop looking at me like that. As I told you before, I’m not looking for a relationship.’
‘But,’ Jessie said, glancing at Meagan’s ringless left hand, ‘you’re not married. Or have you left someone back home?’
‘I was married, Jessie,’ Meagan said, surprised that she could say the words without flinching inside, ‘but he was killed in a car crash a couple of years ago.’
Jessie reached for Meagan’s hand. ‘I’m so sorry.’ She paused. ‘I lost my husband too. He died of a brain aneurysm not long after Effie was born.’ She shook her head and offered Meagan a small smile. ‘It seems we have more in common than we thought. You think you’ll never get over it then one day you wake up and life seems bearable again. It might seem right now as if that’ll never happen but it does.’
‘At least you had Effie,’ Meagan said, trying to keep the envy from her voice.
‘Yes. To a large degree, having her to look after is what saw me through those first awful weeks and months. Obviously you and your husband didn’t have any.’
Meagan bit her lip. She hardly knew Jessie, but already it felt as if they were good friends. She had never really talked to anyone before about what had happened.
‘About twelve months before Charlie died, I discovered I was pregnant. At first I wasn’t happy—I thought we were too young and that a baby would ruin my career plans—but after a day or two I got used to the idea. Then, as it became more real to me, I decided to hell with a career, a baby was more important.’
‘What happened?’
‘I had an ectopic pregnancy. The embryo lodged in one of my Fallopian tubes. They had to operate and remove my tube. While they were operating, they discovered that the other tube was damaged. It’s impossible for me to get pregnant naturally. Odd, huh? Losing the baby made me realise how much I wanted children. Now all that’s gone for good.’ Her voice cracked slightly. Losing the baby and the chance to have children still hurt.
‘Poor you.’ Jessie looked into the distance. ‘I don’t know if I could have borne Hamish’s death if I hadn’t had Effie,’ she said softly, before reaching out and taking Meagan’s hand. ‘Could you try IVF? A friend of mine got pregnant that way.’
‘I don’t think it would be for me. Anyway, I have no intention of marrying again, so the question of having children is moot. Do you mind if we talk about something else?’
Jessie looked at her sympathetically, before changing the subject.
‘About last night,’ she said. ‘Weren’t you scared at all?’
The question took Meagan by surprise. Probably because she hadn’t thought about it. She supposed she should have been but somehow, working alongside Cameron, she hadn’t been scared at all. At least, not for herself. There had been moments when she had been worried about the patients and more than one moment when she had been terrified on Cameron’s behalf, as any colleague would have been, but no she hadn’t been truly scared.
‘That’s just it, Jessie—I loved every moment!’ she said. ‘Instead of being frightened, I was exhilarated. Funny to think that when I came here, it was for a quiet life.’
‘In that case, you and Cameron have a lot in common. He’s always thrived on danger. Perhaps that’s why he married Rachel,’ she added sourly.
‘You don’t like her, then?’ Meagan knew she shouldn’t encourage gossip, but she was intensely curious about Cameron’s relationship with Rachel. A natural curiosity, she told herself, and anyway she knew she could trust Jessie.
‘It’s not that I don’t like her. But I can’t say I approve of the way she’s treated Cameron and little Ian…’ Jessie stopped, seemingly aware she had said more than she should.
Meagan leaned closer. ‘What do you mean?’
‘She had an affair—that’s why she and Cameron divorced. She met someone wealthier than Cameron. I imagine being Lady Rachel and living up here wasn’t what she had expected it to be, and I guess she thought her lover could provide the jet-set life she thought she was getting when she married Cameron.’
‘Cameron must have been devastated,’ Meagan responded, wondering how a man like Cameron would feel about being betrayed by someone he loved. Perhaps they had more in common than she’d thought.
‘I think it was her abandonment of Ian that hurt him most. Cameron would never put his own needs above that of his child, and he couldn’t understand how Rachel could risk losing her son. On the other hand, he was happy that she handed over custody of Ian to him.’
How could any woman give up her family? Meagan was thinking. How she would have loved to be in Rachel’s shoes, with an adorable son and a husband who loved her. It seemed that now Jessie had started, she was determined to go on.
‘Rachel doesn’t seem to care for her son. Not the way most mothers do. As far as I can tell, she uses him simply as a way to Cameron.’ Then she looked aghast. ‘I’m sorry, Meagan. Please, forgive me. I have no business discussing the family’s affairs. Just forget I said anything. Its just—’
‘Go on,’ said a quiet voice behind them. The two women whirled round. Engrossed, neither of them had heard Cameron come in. Meagan felt herself go red. What on earth must he be thinking? she wondered. Finding the pair of them discussing him and his relationship with his ex-wife.
‘Just what is it, Jessie, that you have no business telling Meagan?’ Cameron persisted. He narrowed his eyes.
Jessie sprang to her feet.
‘Rachel. She shouldn’t be living apart from her son,’ she said fiercely. ‘That child needs a mother.’
‘What Rachel chooses to do is up to her. But—’ his gaze softened ‘—you are right. Every child deserves two parents. And it’s up to the parents to make that happen—both parents.’
‘But if she won’t live here?’ Jessie persisted.
‘Then perhaps I’ll have to move back to London,’ Cameron said. ‘But whatever Rachel and I decide to do, it’s up to us. For the time being, please don’t bore Meagan with my problems.’
Meagan could still feel the heat in her face. At the same time she was dismayed at the thought of Cameron returning to London. Why she should, she had no idea. It would be far better that they live miles apart. Maybe then she’d get him out of her system. Horrified at the direction her thoughts were taking, she stood up.
‘Thanks for the tea, Jessie, but I should let you get on.’
‘You’re welcome,’ Jessie said. ‘You haven’t forgotten the ball? Simon—Cameron’s younger brother—and a few of his friends are arriving the Friday before.’ And Meagan caught her small smile and dreamy look.
So that’s the way the land lay. She hoped her new friend wasn’t laying herself open to have her heart broken. Of course, Meagan hadn’t met this Simon, but if he was anything like his brother, Meagan worried for Jessie.
‘I’m looking forward to it,’ Meagan said. ‘Although I’m still not sure what to wear.’
‘Rachel offered you something,’ Cameron said, sweeping his eyes over Meagan like a pro. ‘You’re about the same size, alt
hough I think you’re about an inch or two shorter.’
‘I would lend you something,’ Jessie said, eyeing Meagan’s figure enviously, ‘but I doubt I have anything that’ll fit. No, I’m afraid Rachel is your best bet.’
‘Rachel left this morning,’ Cameron said. ‘She won’t be back until the day of the ball. However, I’m sure she won’t mind if you help yourself to something from her wardrobe.’
Meagan was aghast. ‘I couldn’t possibly,’ she said, shaking her head firmly. It was bad enough that she coveted Rachel’s ex-husband, without borrowing her clothes too.
‘Tell you what,’ Jessie said thoughtfully. ‘There’s a lovely little boutique in Stornoway—I know you have a few weeks but we could take a trip up there this afternoon.’ Jessie brightened at the thought. ‘I could do with getting myself some bits and pieces, and it would be nice to have a day out. We could take Ian and Effie.’
‘Sounds like a good idea,’ Cameron said. ‘While you two are organising that, I’m off to check on the fences. Someone phoned to say there was a break near the east perimeter. And Simon’s weekend guests are hoping for some shooting, aren’t they, Jessie?’
‘Mmm, and fishing too. I expect you’ll be joining them?’
‘Too right,’ said Cameron. ‘Apart from the fishing I’m looking forward to seeing Simon again. How long is it since he was last here?’
Jessie blushed. ‘Five weeks.’ She attempted an airy wave that fooled no one. ‘But who’s counting?’
In the end, Jessie, Meagan, Effie and Ian all clambered into Meagan’s Land Rover for the short ferry trip and drive into town. The children were excited at the prospect of a day out, but had promised to be on their best behaviour, which would be rewarded with ice cream sundaes in a café. True to their word, they sat patiently in the dress shop, albeit giggling at Meagan as she tried on numerous totally unsuitable dresses.
Jessie was searching through a row of gowns. Every so often she would pull one out, hold it up against Meagan then with a click of her tongue return it to the rail. Eventually she pulled out a floor-length dress of shimmering deep green silk.
‘This is it!’ she said excitedly. ‘This one matches your eyes perfectly. Go on. Try it on.’
Meagan eyed the gown suspiciously. It looked a little too low cut for her liking, but to keep Jessie happy she tried the dress on. The silk fabric fell about her body and she could feel the fabric cling to her body. Jessie was right—it did match her eyes. And she did feel like a million dollars. Jessie wolf whistled.
‘You look stunning,’ she said. ‘Every eye on the room will be on you.’ Casting a look back at the children to make sure they couldn’t hear her, she added. ‘That will annoy Rachel no end. Sorry, sorry,’ she said as she caught Meagan’s warning look. ‘No more bitchiness—I promise.’
Meagan resisted the urge to pick up their discussion where they had left it earlier that day.
She twirled, enjoying the sensuous feel of the fabric against her skin.
‘Now all we need to do,’ Jessie said smugly, ‘is find matching shoes and a bag.’
Meagan looked over at the two children, who had begun to wriggle with boredom.
‘After we have that ice cream we promised, I think,’ she said.
Ian skipped over to her and wrapped his small arms around her legs.
‘I like you being here,’ he said simply. Meagan swallowed the lump in her throat.
‘C’mon, then, guys, let’s get out of here!’
The days on Uist passed almost too quickly for Meagan. Every morning she saw her patients, then after that she and Cameron would divide the visits between them, before meeting back at the surgery to discuss and review that day’s patients.
Mostly the patients Meagan saw were straightforward to diagnose. The usual colds and flu. There were trickier cases, too, where patients had to be referred to one of the hospitals on the mainland. Every now and again Meagan would consult with Cameron to confirm a diagnosis or to decide a treatment plan. He was never impatient with her and often at the end of the day he would have an informal teaching session. Soon they had settled into the easy understanding of two colleagues who respected each other.
One Thursday there were no visits for either Cameron or Meagan. Cameron surprised her by suggesting that conditions were perfect for the sail he had promised her.
‘There’s still a good couple of hours of decent light and you promised to show off your sailing skills,’ he teased her. ‘When you live here, at the mercy of the elements, you need to make the most of any opportunity.’
Looking out the window, Meagan had to agree. The conditions would be challenging for the average sailor, but for her they were a delight. But could she really spend time alone with Cameron? Although they were getting on as colleagues, spending time together out of work was another matter.
‘Another time perhaps?’ she said coolly. ‘We don’t want any gossip.’
‘Gossip?’ Cameron said quietly. He looked grim for a moment. ‘I can’t always live my life here worried about gossip. In any case, what would be so strange about two colleagues going sailing? Colin and I go all the time. But if it worries you…’
Meagan returned the challenge in Cameron’s eyes.
‘You’ll get wet. Very wet, if I have my way,’ she warned him
‘You should know by now an islander is never worried about getting wet.’ He grinned. ‘Anyway, the last time we were out, it was you who got wet, I seem to recall.’
The memory reminded Meagan that she had been planning to get her revenge. She was curious to see how the macho Dr Stuart coped. When a boat was set to the wind Meagan could make it soar across the water. However, travelling at speed often meant a dip in the ocean. Mostly there would be rescue boats to help in case of a capsize, but out here they would be on their own. It was essential that her sailing partner knew not to panic. She had seen enough to know that Cameron fell into this category.
‘OK. You’re on,’ she said. ‘Meet me at the boat in thirty minutes.’
Meagan hurried home and quickly changed into the dry suit she had brought with her. She’d had enough of being wet through, and once the boat was going at speed another drenching was inevitable. It took her slightly longer than usual to squeeze herself into her suit—the effect of all those scones and sandwiches the patients and Jessie kept offering her, she mused ruefully.
She pulled on a waterproof on top of her dry suit and tied her hair back. She was ready.
She was checking over the boat when Cameron arrived. He was in the waterproofs he had worn for the rescue and looked fit and tanned.
‘I’ll take her out,’ Meagan suggested. ‘I think I can remember the channel to follow.’
As soon as they were out in clear water, Meagan set the sails. ‘OK, this time I’m helmsman and you’re crew. Are you ready for this?’
Within seconds the boat was travelling at speed. The wind caught the sails and Meagan hooked her feet under the toe strap and eased herself over the side, counterbalancing the cant of the boat with her weight. She revelled in the speed. Oh, how she had missed this.
‘Er, don’t you think we should slow down a little?’ Cameron said nervously.
Meagan pulled the sails in tighter and the boat picked up more speed. For once there was something she could show Cameron.
‘Stay in the middle of the boat if you’re worried,’ she shouted. ‘You’ll be perfectly safe there.’
Without saying anything, Cameron joined her, copying her position. ‘If you can do it, so can I,’ he yelled. Then gave a whoop of excitement.
They tacked upwind for the next forty minutes, working as if they had sailed together for years. Eventually, however, Meagan knew that her underused muscles were getting tired. She allowed the boat to bear away from the wind, letting it slow to a more sedate pace.
‘That was fantastic,’ Cameron said as the decrease in speed allowed them to talk without shouting. ‘I’ve been around boats all my life but I have never s
ailed like that.’ He looked at her appraisingly. ‘When did you learn to sail?’
‘My father took me out on his boat from the age of four. I always loved it. I was in the sailing team at university—If you remember, I was with them when we met. There was a chance of being selected for the pre-Olympic training squad, but I turned it down. I chose to study for my finals instead.’
‘Do you regret it?’ Cameron asked.
Meagan thought for a moment. ‘I suppose life is full of choices. We make the best decisions we can at the time. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they don’t.’
She thought about the decisions she had made. Marrying Charlie, putting off having children, becoming a doctor. Did she regret marrying Charlie? Maybe and maybe not. They’d had some good times, and as the pain was receding she could remember more of the happier times and fewer of the bad ones. And her decision to come here? She allowed her gaze to linger on the open sea, the small uninhabited islands and the man in front of her, with his laughing brown eyes, sexy body and love of life. If she hadn’t come, she might never have seen him again, and the thought scared her. The realisation made her look away in confusion. The way she felt about this man, the way she had felt about him from the first moment she had seen him had never changed. He still made her heart pound and her knees go weak, in a way no other man had before or since. She loved being with him. When she wasn’t with him, she missed him. The truth was, she loved him. He was her soul mate and she had known it from the moment they had met. But how did he feel about her? Did he feel anything for her except friendship?
‘What about you?’ she asked. ‘Do you have regrets?’
‘I find its pointless thinking that way. We take the hand we are dealt and make the most of it.’
What did that mean? Meagan wondered. Was he thinking of Rachel? Did he regret marrying her, or the divorce?