Cale listened to Ava’s rant with a half-smile. “That feel better?”
Ava tried to look mad, but Cale was smirking at her and it made her want to chuckle. “Feels a little better.”
Cale shrugged at Myra. “Don’t worry, Myra. We’ll figure out how to get there. And Ava doesn’t mind going to find Cam. She likes you.”
“I do not.” Ava even blushed a little, crossing her arms in defense, matching Myra’s posture.
Myra sniffled, and gave a taciturn snarl. “I don’t like anyone.”
Ava nodded. “Well this’ll be fun. Especially since we’ll have to fly by plane. No way Cale can carry both of us that far.”
“Money shouldn’t be a problem,” Myra said. She took the letter from Cale and folded it as though it might tear. “I’ll just steal my mom’s card to buy the tickets. She won’t even notice it’s gone. She’ll just order another one for herself.”
Cale sallowed at the mention of travel by manmade aircraft. “No no no no no. The only thing worse than a no-ir flight is those steel birds. Can’t. Won’t.”
“Perhaps I can ease your troubles.”
Cale’s chest tightened at the sound of Shiloh’s voice. The no-ir still did that to him, no matter how civil he intended to be. Shiloh, in all his black and with stillness in his whiteless eyes, demanded a certain level of respect, simply by being.
Myra backed up so fast her back hit the wall. Her fist crumpled around the paper that had announced Cameron’s death. Her mouth hung open. No-ir, she would have said if she could. Deathbringers.
“I mean you no harm,” Shiloh said without looking at her, as if her terror was commonplace to him. It was that way everywhere he went in the dragon world. The crippling fear of everyone who saw him. The begging for their lives. The lifting of palms in surrender before he’d even stated why he’d come.
But Ava almost wanted to hug him. Almost. The last time she’d seen him, he’d been inches from death, lying on the Cave floor beside his dragon.
“Where’s Rane?” Ava asked. She couldn’t believe Shiloh would go anywhere without him. Not after what had happened to them. Not after what the greys had done to them. All because Sirce feared the respect Shiloh had earned from his men. All because the judge was a hate-filled coward. All because he wanted the pearl.
A rustle in Shiloh’s cape, and Rane’s pitch black, marble eyes shined out at Ava.
“Forgive him for not visiting with you as he often does. He will not leave my side.”
Ava nodded at the little dragon. “I don’t blame you, Rane.” Then she looked back at his rider. “How long did they keep the two of you apart?”
Shiloh paused, tying not to remember. “Too long.”
“But now you’re okay?”
“We are becoming better. The blue dragon female was very helpful in aiding our recovery. We owe her much.” He stared at Cale. “I believe she used to be your maternal unit? It appears your family has been quite useful to us, you included.”
Cale growled. “And now you’ve come to drag us back to the greys. We broke the law. Again.”
Shiloh positioned himself to face Cale so that he could address him without looking at him. He took a breath so deep, his chest took a moment to inflate. “I have decided…to no longer follow the greys.”
Cale gave a bitter laugh. “You left your pregnant girlfriend to run off and serve them. And now, all of a sudden, you don’t follow?”
“I left Juliette to make sure they would not find her or the unborn child. And now that they are safe, Rane and I have decided not to return to the courts.”
Cale shook his head. “Decided? You mean you’ve lost your minds. You can’t leave the courts. That’s your purpose. That’s every black dragon’s purpose. To serve the will of the greys.”
Shiloh shot fiery black eyes at Cale. “We have decided it is in the best interest of those we serve to no longer serve them. If you are so concerned about the will of the greys, you can pledge to be a servant in the courts yourself.”
Ava pushed Cale aside, holding up a hand to suggest she’d like him to be quiet. He was too vindictive to hold a proper conversation. And what Shiloh was saying made her dizzy, even though she didn’t understand every nuance of dragon affairs. A black dragon leaving his post—especially one as influential as Shiloh—would mean something.
“Explain, Shiloh. Why aren’t you serving the greys anymore? Why?”
Shiloh hesitated and lowered his head, his eyes scanning the floor. But he wasn’t thinking. There was no hum in his throat, no figuring out what it was the greys would have him do. He was only feeling.
“I feel that they….” He licked his lips, as though what he was about to say turned his stomach. “I feel that the greys have lost their way. It is in their best interest—all of our best interests—if I no longer execute their will. I will not attempt to harm them…but I cannot help them any longer.”
Cale’s eyes widened. “So, the balance really is lost.”
“The balance was lost a long time ago,” Ava said. “One hundred years ago, I think. When the last red dragon rider was put to death for the sake of the greys.”
Shiloh nodded. “The grey dragons have always kept the world in check by sending out their will in careful doses. Pain, sorrow, fear, hate, revenge, death, and war.”
Ava held her finger like a syringe. “That’s what Sirce told me. Vaccines. Small doses of bad to keep horrid amounts of those things from taking over the world. But now that things are balanced, they’re still not satisfied. They’re pouring out bad and killing off the good.”
Cale ran his hand through his hair. “That way the greys don’t ever go out of business. They’re making sure they’ll always have something to do, something that needs balancing.”
Ava shook her head. “All those dead bodies in the dungeons. All the red dragons with gifts.”
“And the riders,” Shiloh said. “You were not the first pair I was sent to kill. But you were the first to dissuade me from carrying out the plan of the greys. I could not have foreseen a phoenix rider.”
Cale’s face flushed red. “And I’m supposed to just ignore that you killed my people?”
“He was doing his job, Cale. He was doing what he thought was right.”
Shiloh lowered his head, avoiding eye contact. “I was mistaken.”
Cale scoffed. “And all of a sudden you see the truth?”
“No. Not all of a sudden. Slowly. And by accident. But that is how….”
“How what?” Cale asked. He was trying to swallow his emotions, for Ava’s sake. Because she seemed to favor the no-ir pair. “How what?”
“That is how all good things are born. That is how love is born. Slowly. And by accident.”
Ava didn’t know what to say. Shiloh who didn’t eat, who didn’t sleep, knew nothing besides his job and his dragon. He was meant to be alone, meant to be loyal, to be cold and withdrawn. “You love Juliette?”
He was grave. “Yes.”
Ava wanted to ask him a million questions. What it felt like. If it hurt. If it made him less…him. But all she could make herself say was, “How?”
He shook his head, and to Ava and Cale’s shock, Shiloh smiled—a quiet thing, just the corners of his lips slipping upward. “I don’t know, phoenix. And if I knew I would not tell you. Witnessing something good being born…that is a gift you must experience yourself.”
“That’s great,” Cale said. “Great. Since you obviously don’t know the answer to what we’re asking, how about we get back to the part about stopping the greys from killing more innocent people? What do we do?”
“I was hoping you knew,” Shiloh said.
“Me? You’re the one who’s been devoted to them your whole life.”
“Exactly. I am born to serve them, not to inhibit them.”
Ava paced, her brain going as fast as it could. How to stop the unstoppable? How to police the people who made the very laws they were violating? How to do what couldn’t be do
ne?
“We really are stupid.” She stopped. “We’re all looking for the same person. Which dragon do we know who thinks differently than anyone else? Who’s the smartest dragon we’ve ever met?”
Cale nodded. “It all comes back to finding Cameron.”
“I can fly you through the void,” Shiloh offered. “It will be faster. I could fly you straight there.”
“Never again,” Cale said with a grimace. “Besides, we don’t know where we’re going. It’s impossible to find the blue dragon monastery.”
A soft voice, hint of English accent, and perfect articulation. “I would also like to be of assistance.” Karma was looking at Cale. “If that’s alright with you.”
Cale stared at the woman who used to be his mother. She had never been like the other red dragon moms. She didn’t wrestle with him and his brothers, didn’t argue over food or dance at bonfires. But she had been there. And she tried. It wasn’t her idea to exile Cale from the nest, but no one could deny it happened. She could never be his mother ever again. Those were the rules. And Cale’s heart was beginning to rust shut.
“How would you know where the blue monastery is, Karma?” he asked her. “You’re an academic. The academics and monks hate each other.”
She nodded, observing the reservations in Cale’s features. “I can’t say where it is, no. But I am certain you won’t be able to fly there. Even a no-ir has to go through the door to enter the monastery, and that is not as easy as it seems. However, I can direct you to someone who may be able to help…if you keep from mentioning this to your fath—” She cleared her throat, “to Mac.”
“Why?”
“It will only cause more problems.”
More? His throat tightened. “What’s going on with Mac? And why did Rory want to stay behind with him?”
“Nothing for you to worry about.” She kept very still as she thought. Blue dragons tended to mimic statues so more of their energy went into the thinking process. But when she moved again, Karma was graceful and calculated. “It will be good for you to find Cameron. And to do that, I will give you an address.”
“Thank you,” Cale said. He hesitated. “But I’m sure Shiloh can get us there. No-ir can do things like that. And…maybe Cameron will give you a call after we find him….”
“No, he won’t.” But there was no sadness in her dark blue eyes, not like there should have been. “And I’m sure you won’t either.”
Cale flinched. “I….”
She put her hand up. “You have matters to attend to. I will let you be on your way. But first…” she turned to Ava, “you should see your mother. She must be worried.”
Ava gave a loud sigh as Karma retreated. “Seriously? We haven’t even been gone that long.” Can Miriam really be that upset?
Myra, still standing against the wall, her eyes trained on the no-ir, shook her head as Karma left. “Something’s wrong with that lady. Something’s wrong with all of you.”
Ava left her thoughts of her mother behind and jabbed her thumb at Shiloh. “If you’re talking about him, he’s not gonna kill you or anything, Myra. He’s harmless.”
Myra’s brown eyes were wide. “Harmless? Is that how you got that scar on your arm? A harmless black rider?”
Ava glanced down at the spiraled slices that crisscrossed her right forearm. She had forgotten the scar was even there. But Cale hadn’t. He looked at it every day.
“This?” Ava shrugged. “That wasn’t Shiloh. It was Pendulus. And it’s no big deal. It healed.”
Myra shook her head. “I just can’t believe you’re okay with all of it, Ava. I’m not that…brave.”
“Well you have to be or you won’t be able to see Cameron.”
Cale put his hand up. “First, we go back to the O’Hara house. Ava can see Miriam. I can take another nap. Shiloh can see Juliette.”
Ava stretched, glad to still be free of the pain that always led her away from her dragon. “And then we go find your dead brother.”
***
Miriam sank into the couch, a mug of coffee in her petite hands, her blue eyes so wide she couldn’t blink. She took a sip and swallowed, smacking her thin lips together.
The O’Hara’s living room was crowded but silent, a body taking up every spot on the leather couches and bar stools. Most of the room’s occupants—including the twins—stared at the gray-skinned terror that sat with his back perfectly straight, his dragon shrunken down and attentive beside him.
“So….” Miriam took another sip. “We’re housing aliens now.”
Ava and Cale sat close to one another on the plush carpet, Cale stretching so that his arm was over Ava’s shoulders. “Shiloh and Rane aren’t aliens. They’re a black dragon and rider,” he explained to Miriam. “They protect the will of the grey court. Or at least they used to.”
Miriam nodded her blonde bob, her eyes no less enlarged. “So, how does that work out for you?” she asked Shiloh, trying to make small talk. “What exactly do you do?”
“Rane and I travel through the darkness of the perpetual void to locate and kill those who the grey judges deem as harmful to the balance. We are among the most effective no-ir. We have killed many. We almost killed your offspring and her dragon, in fact.”
Miriam slurped more coffee. “Oh.”
Ava tried to soften it with, “Except he quit. First ever black dragon to do that. And now we have to figure out how to stop the greys.”
“Stop them…from unbalancing the world so they can keep balancing it.” Miriam nodded. “And that’s why you’re going to find a group of…monks. To undo the balance and save the world from the people protecting it.”
“Yeah, pretty much. Cameron should be able to help. Except he’s apparently dead.”
“He’s not dead, Ava,” Cale growled. “Stop saying that.” He nudged her with his elbow. “You left out the part about you,” he told her in red tongue, so Miriam couldn’t hear.
It tickled Ava’s insides to hear the tongue and understand it. “Oh, yeah. Miriam, I haven’t told yet, but now it’s kind of official. I’m not a human. I’m a phoenix. Which means I keep dying.”
Miriam nodded again, slowly, processing. “So, to stop the judges, you need to find Cameron…who’s dead…and keep Sirce from getting to Ava, who is—correct me if I’m wrong—a mythical bird creature...who is also dead?
“Yes,” Onna said, a slight smirk on her face while she fed herself sweetened meat.
“No,” Ava frowned. “I’m not a bird, Miriam. I’m…I’m…help me out here, Cale.”
Cale cleared his throat. “She’s an immortal, ever-dying free entity whose only obligation is to be exactly that.”
Miriam eyed the bottom of her empty mug and smacked her lips one more time. “Right.” She looked over to Shiloh again.
Juliette was sitting so close to him, they might as well have been the same person. He held his ungloved hand against her belly. Her head leaned on his shoulder, eyes closed. She was humming a Great Nest song, unaware that there was anyone else in the room but Shiloh and her. The rider closed his eyes as well, listening to the rise and fall of her voice, lost to everyone else.
“And the two of them have somehow made a little family?”
Onna pointed her spoon at them. “I still don’t believe that one.”
“Why not?” Myra asked, frowning at her twin.
“Because, My, that just doesn’t happen. They have nothing in common. And no-ir…?” She shivered at the thought of them. “No-ir don’t do that sort of thing.”
Myra jabbed her finger in her sister’s direction. “They obviously love each other. That’s something in common.”
“That doesn’t explain it though, Myra.”
“Love explains plenty.”
“Oh, is that why we’re trekking across the world to find Cameron? Because of love?”
Myra’s face grew red and she stood up where she was. “I’m not going to apologize for how I feel, Onna. Is it my fault you’ve never felt it
?”
“I know what love feels like, Myra!”
“With who, Onna? With who?! With Cale? He doesn’t care what happens to you. He doesn’t even call you anymore. Doesn’t think about you. Ever! That’s not love. It’s delusion. It’s sad.”
Onna eyes brimmed with tears. “You’re sad for me? I have friends. I don’t just sulk in my room all day. I went out and found people to care about me. At least I have that. At least I have them. You have no one, Myra. Because Cameron isn’t even here. You’re alone.” And she wiped at her nose with the back of her hand. “You’re alone.”
Myra didn’t cry though. She lifted her chin. “You’re wrong. I have someone. And when I find him, I’m never coming back here.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
Onna left through the front door, slamming it behind her as she went.
“Myra,” Cale started.
“No. I’m not apologizing to her.” Myra sat back down on the couch. “I’m done.”
“She’s your family. Your nest,” Cale tried again.
“Don’t need one.” Myra sniffled, but still refused to let a tear fall. “Look at you. And Ava. And Shiloh. And Juliette. You’re all just fine without your nests. I will be too.”
Cale couldn’t argue with her as Miriam launched into a soft-spoken speech about how family was important. He couldn’t tell her that it hurt every day to know he couldn’t wrestle with Rory, or hypothesize with Cameron. That he couldn’t make faces while his dad stole a kiss or two from his mother. Because, in a way, she was right. He missed them, but Ava was there. And Ava was enough.
“Hey,” he whispered to Ava in red tongue when no one was looking.
“Yeah?” She asked, leaning in to hear what he wanted to say.
He leaned in too, and kissed her cheek, his lips brushing against her jaw. She moved away like he’d bitten her, her eyes wide, but the smallest hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth.
“People will see,” she mouthed to him. She didn’t know why she didn’t want people to know they’d kissed. But she didn’t. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
He just smiled.
When Ava turned back to the rest of the room, Juliette was looking at her, a little smile of her own on her face as she snuggled next to Shiloh. Ava wanted to glare at the girl, to tell her to back off. But there was something sweet about the way she stared at her. As if she was sharing a secret.
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