I am Tajarez, prince of the Lagonda, he reminded himself in desperation. He almost ran from the cave, down the slope to the riverbank. Then he dove into the water.
When Mara joined Tajarez the next morning beside the campfire, she began to help him with the task of drying the meat as she had the day before. He seemed more withdrawn than ever, so she did not speak to him. By late afternoon the task was completed and the thin slices of venison were packed in a leather pouch, and all the campfires but one were extinguished.
Mara followed the Indian down to the river. She bathed her hands and face, then sat down on the bank and watched as he began to remove his leather vest and britches. He soon stood before her clad only in his breechcloth. She was becoming accustomed to the easy way he treated nudity. She supposed it was an accepted fact among his tribe, but her upbringing had been very conventional. She was surprised that the sight of him wearing only a breechcloth no longer embarrassed her. In fact, she found she liked how he looked, all bronzed and muscled. She was having some very unconventional thoughts where he was concerned.
Tajarez removed his knee-length moccasins and waded into the water. He stood motionless, his eyes alert. Mara watched, fascinated, as he reached into the water, and with a quickness that surprised her, he grabbed a big trout and tossed it onto the bank.
Mara clapped her hands and laughed delightedly.
With the same precision, the feat was repeated several more times.
Mara was young and she wanted to join in the spirit of fun. If he would teach her how to catch fish with her bare hands, she could surprise Jeffery with her accomplishment when she reached home.
Quickly removing her boots, she held her gown up to her knees and waded into the cold water.
Tajarez watched her, a smile playing on his lips. She looked into his face eagerly. "Teach me, please."
The current was swift and Mara felt her feet being swept out from under her. She had not been afraid to go into the water because he would be beside her, but now she was frightened as she felt herself being swept downstream. She tried to grab on to his arm, just as the current dragged her under.
Tajarez watched with a look of amusement as the rushing water carried her away. He waited for her to surface. When she did, she was in the deepest part of the river, and it soon became apparent to him that she could not swim and was in danger of drowning. It had not occurred to him that she would be unable to swim. The maidens of his tribe were taught to swim almost before they could even walk.
Diving into the churning water, he swam toward her with powerful strokes. He knew he must reach her before it was too late. Never had he had so little faith in his own ability. With all the strength he possessed, he lunged forward in the water. When he finally reached her, he encircled her waist with his arm, then with his free arm he swam toward the shore. When he reached the bank, he laid her still form down on her stomach. She had already turned blue.
"No!" he cried in agony. "No, beloved."
He began to work frantically with her lifeless body, pressing on the small of her back, then turning her over and blowing into her mouth. In desperation he lifted her upright and began pounding forcefully on her back.
Relief washed over his body as she began coughing and expelling the river water she had swallowed. He laid her gently down on the grass and lay down beside her. He watched as her eyes flickered. His energy was spent emotionally as well as physically. It terrified him how near he had come to losing her. He knew he would move the heavens and the earth to keep her safe. She was a part of him. The love he had once given to a dream now belonged to her.
The image of her had been with him for so long. She was perfection. She was the reason he had always found fault with all others. She was everything that was good in the world. She was beauty and love.
Tajarez turned his head to look at her, and found she was watching him.
Mara touched his face softly. "It would seem I owe you my life once more." She smiled weakly and rolled over to her stomach. "You do not understand my words, but my father once told me a kiss and a smile are both the universal language. I do not suppose the Indians know about a kiss. I will give you a kiss such as I would give my brother."
Tajarez felt suddenly paralyzed. He watched as her lips came near and brushed his cheek softly. Mara laughed at the startled look on his face. "I see you do not like the kiss. It is merely my way of saying thank you."
Mara's eyes looked deeply into his and she drew in her breath at the fire that she saw in the brown depths. She felt a weakness in the pit of her stomach as she felt his hand slide slowly around her neck. With gentle pressure he pulled her forward. Mara felt his warm breath tease her lips, and she began to tremble. Her heart seemed to overflow with feelings she did not understand.
She waited for what seemed an eternity for his lips to reach hers, and when they finally touched her mouth, she felt the earth move. It was as if a thousand stars exploded within her head. At first his kiss was soft as he applied gentle pressure to her lips. Then the feel of her ignited a fire within him, and his lips took command of hers in a deep, searching kiss.
Mara no longer doubted that the Indian knew about kissing. She was being very thoroughly kissed by a master who knew much about pleasing a woman.
Tajarez crushed her in his arms as he felt his passion swell within his body. This was what he had wanted to do for so long. His hands moved over her soft body. He was driven wild with desire. Mara felt as though her body was on fire. His hands were touching, feeling, arousing.
This was love so pure, so intense, that it washed over her as the river had minutes before. She did not doubt for one moment that it was real and lasting love she felt for him. It did not matter to her that they were from two different worlds, and that her father would probably call him a savage. All that mattered was that she was in his arms and he was no longer ignoring her. She wondered when the love she felt for him had first came to life. Maybe it was when she had first seen him.
Tajarez raised his head and looked deeply into her eyes. Mara saw the dark eyes soften. She was young and innocent, but she knew he wanted more from her than just a kiss. She looked at his handsome face. There was a question he was silently asking her as his eyes settled on her soft lips. She knew as surely as if he had spoken aloud that he was asking her if she wanted him to stop.
There was danger in allowing him to kiss her again, and Mara hesitated only a moment before she moved forward to meet his lips halfway. She moaned as his lips settled on hers, not a gentle kiss, but one that was hard and demanding. Mara's arms went around his neck. As she pulled him tightly against her, she felt the weight of his body as he rolled her over and pinned her body beneath his.
Never had Tajarez wanted a woman as he wanted her. She was an innocent child, but she stirred his blood as no woman with more experience could. His lips moved to her neck, to the small pulse beat drumming in her throat.
Mara laced her hands through his long ebony hair and closed her eyes, letting the beautiful feelings he had awakened in her body take over her being.
Tajarez rested his cheek against her face, reveling in the silkiness of her skin. He wished he could tell her of his love.
"I love you. I love you," she whispered.
Tajarez raised his head and cupped her chin in his hand. She had said the words he had wanted so badly to hear. He traced the outline of her beautiful face with his finger. He called on all of his strength, and tried to quench the ache within his body.
He wanted all of her. If she only knew how much he loved her and how much she ruled his heart. He would be her slave forever.
He wrestled with his conscience. Should he take her? She was an innocent virgin, that he knew. He knew he was the first man ever to kiss her. Could he send her away? It would be wrong to make love to her and then leave her. Perhaps he would even get her with child. Then what would her life be like when she returned to her family?
He crushed her in his arms. How would he ever be able to
give her up? He wanted to keep her with him forever, forsaking his home and his responsibilities. Tajarez knew he would never be able to take her home to the Seven Cities. He had made a promise long ago that he would guard the secret of the hidden valley from the white man.
She made him forget his obligations, he thought angrily. He shoved her roughly away from him and rose to his feet, not daring to look into her green eyes. He must get her to the fort quickly. She was a danger to him. For a while he had almost forgotten he was on a sacred quest and was charged not to lie with a woman until it was completed.
Mara blinked the tears from her eyes and watched as he walked away from her. She was stinging from his rejection of her. Had he thought her without shame? Did he think she was a loose woman without any morals? She did not feel shame at what they had shared. How could she be ashamed of the love she felt for him?
She had no experience of the love shared between a man and a woman, but she was almost sure he had felt something for her. She raised her hand to her lips that were still soft from his kisses. Suppose he had a wife! That must be the reason he had rejected her. She had never considered that possibility.
Her heart felt as though it had been ripped from her body. Of course he was married. It was not likely a man such as he would be unmarried. Mara felt herself envying the unknown Indian woman who was his wife.
She had been very forward and had practically thrown herself at him. Perhaps he thought she was always forward with men.
Her newfound love had nowhere to go, and still it would not die. Mara knew she would love him forever.
It appeared to her that his cold contempt for her had returned. Her heart felt bruised and battered by the way he tried to avoid contact with her.
Tajarez wrapped the fish he had caught earlier in leaves, and placed them among the smoldering embers of the campfire. Then he left her, riding away on his horse.
That night Mara lay on the fur robe alone. She tried to sleep, but could not. She did not know he was just outside the cave, guarding the entrance. She kept remembering the feel of his lips on hers, and the way her body had responded to his touch.
The next morning Mara walked out into the morning sunlight and found him loading his packhorse. If only he would look at her, she would have tried to explain to him how she felt. She did not want him to think she would let just any man kiss her, but there was no way she could communicate this to him.
Tajarez mounted his horse and held his hand out to her. He saw the hurt in her eyes and felt her pain. Swinging her onto the horse behind him, he thought it would be far better to hurt her a little now than to hurt her more later on. He urged his horse forward, wishing it did not have to be so.
They rode all day, stopping only long enough to eat and drink. He continued to ignore her, causing her spirits to sink lower with each passing mile. When nightfall came, he did not slow his pace.
Mara was weary, and leaned her head against his back. He pulled the horse up sharply and dismounted, spreading the robe on the ground for her to lie down on. Not bothering to light a fire, he handed her a piece of the dried meat, which she could not eat, so great was her misery.
He did not lie down beside her, but sat with his back to the trunk of a tree. Mara was so exhausted that she finally slept. It seemed she had only closed her eyes, when she was awakened by his hand on her shoulder, urging her to arise so they could be on their way once more. It was cruel how he pushed her almost beyond endurance, just so he could be rid of her.
Again they rode all day, stopping only to eat. Mara wondered how much longer the animals could endure this pace. When they stopped after sundown, he did not unpack the robe, but stood waiting for her to finish eating.
Although she was hungry, she could not swallow a bite, knowing he was impatient to be on his way once more. At last Mara could no longer stand his impatience. Throwing down her uneaten portion of meat, she rose from where she had been sitting and turned on him angrily.
"If you are in such a hurry to be rid of me, then you may leave. I am not your responsibility. I am very grateful to you for all you have done, and I apologize for all the inconvenience you have suffered because of me. But not you, or anybody, can make me mount that horse again tonight."
Tajarez watched her in stunned silence. No woman had ever spoken to him in such a manner.
She was beautiful as her eyes flashed in the moonlight. "Go away. I do not ever want to see you again." Her voice broke. "Oh, I am so frightened of never seeing you again. Hold me, please," she pleaded.
That was almost Tajarez's undoing. He felt the restraint he had been keeping on his emotions snap. He rushed to her and picked her up in his arms, nestling her tightly against his chest, and burying his face in her golden hair.
Oh, Great Father, I love this girl. Please understand. I need her, he prayed silently.
With one hand he untied the robe from the packhorse while he held Mara in his arms. Spreading the robe on the ground, he lay down with her, tightening his arms around her. She was crying softly, and he kissed her face, tasting the saltiness of her tears.
"I thought you wanted to be rid of me," she cried. Mara wound her arms around his neck. "I want you to know you are the first man who ever kissed me. Please do not think badly of me. I promise you I would never permit a man to take the liberties that I allowed you." She touched his face softly. "It is no use, you do not understand me. You will go away and forget all about me, most probably thinking of me as the burden you had to endure one spring."
No! His heart cried out. I will think of you with love. Tajarez was feeling the burden of his vow of silence. How could he make her understand that she was his love, and he would never love another. He knew he would have to marry when he returned home, but the woman who would be his wife would be cheated, for he would never love her, and every time he had to take her in his arms, he would think of green eyes and golden hair.
Mara leaned her head against his broad chest. She could feel his rapid heartbeat. "I think it is a very sad thing for one to love and not have that love returned. I often wondered what the man I would love would be like. I never envisioned he would be an Indian. Strange how life plays little tricks on you sometimes. I have only known you for a few days, and yet I cannot envision my life without you."
Tajarez's arms tightened around her, knowing he could never give her what she wanted. All he and Mara would ever have would be this night, and he could do no more than hold her in his arms.
He would leave her at the fort tomorrow night; then he would forever be empty inside. She would never grow old to him because he would remember her as she was now.
He felt her relax against him and knew she had fallen into an exhausted sleep. He lay awake all night holding her in his arms. He could sleep another night, but for now he wanted to build a memory and remember how she felt in his arms. She was beautiful, and before long she would have many suitors to vie for her favors. She would one day marry, and have children, just as he would. The thought of her lying in another man's arms, as she was now lying in his, made him feel anger. She stirred in her sleep. He rested his lips on her soft cheek. I love you, Mara, he thought, wishing he was free to tell her.
The next morning Mara awoke before daybreak. Tajarez was not beside her. Her eyes searched the darkness, looking for him. He always moved so quietly; she was startled by his sudden appearance. He bent over her and lifted her from the robe, then he secured it to the packhorse.
He mounted his horse and held his hand out to Mara. She was surprised when he did not swing her onto the back of the horse as he usually did, but instead, held her in front of him.
Mara leaned against him, feeling his arms go around her as the horse started off at a gallop. She looked into his face and could not mistake the soft look in his eyes. Was it possible that he loved her?
"You love me. I know you do. You love me," she cried, throwing her arms around his neck.
His lips came down on her roughly, taking her breath away. She was laug
hing and crying at the same time, as her heart sang with joy. She ended the kiss, pulling away from him.
"I would follow you anywhere, leaving my home and family. I would live in the most humble teepee and work my hands to the bone for you. Take me with you, for I cannot bear to live without you."
She saw the look of pain that crossed his face, as if he had understood what she had said.
"I can see it in your eyes, you are going to leave me, and I will never see you again. How can fate be so cruel to cast you and me into different worlds?" She touched his lips softly. "I will not cry and beg you not to go when the time comes for you to leave. I will make you proud of me. You must have your reasons for not taking me with you."
They rode in silence until late afternoon, when he pulled up his horse and dismounted with her in his arms. He set her on her feet and turned her toward the fort that was barely visible through the trees.
Mara turned back to him. "So this is good-bye." Her heart was saddened, but she would keep her promise not to cry. "Hold me for a just a moment," she-whispered.
Tajarez's arms went around her and he pulled her to him. Raising her face to his, he studied her features so he would remember every detail—not that he would ever forget. He became torn, undecided. He could take her upon his horse and ride away with her. His heart rebelled against leaving her. He was torn between his father's wishes and his own desire. He knew he would have to sacrifice his happiness for the Lagonda tribe. After all, had he not been taught from childhood that the good of the people came before the royal family's needs and wants?
Seeing the deep sadness in his eyes, Mara decided not to add to his pain. She would walk away from him and not look back. Touching his face gently, she smiled. "If only I knew your name. Please tell me what you are called."
He did not respond.
Mara shook her head sadly. "Good-bye, then, my love. Think of me sometime."
Turning away, she walked slowly toward the fort. With each step she took, she resisted the urge to look back at him.
Savage Desire (Savage Lagonda 1) Page 6