by Tanya Wright
“Uck! What is that?”
He had to laugh at the grimace she produced.
“Are you gonna call that number?”
“What number?”
“The one written on your cup.”
He lifted the paper cup and inspected it. There, above the logo, were digits hastily written in black Sharpie with a heart and the name Carrie. He looked over his shoulder to find the blushing girl leaning on the counter, staring in his direction. Upon realizing she had been caught, she quickly jumped up and got back to work.
“Um, maybe.” He liked getting a rise from Micah. He wouldn’t call her. He had no interest in blushing college students. They were a dime a dozen.
“Are you kidding me? She looks like she’s barely out of high school.”
“No, she doesn’t. She’s obviously older than that.”
“Don’t you have to get to work?”
“Yes, but I can take a few moments to hang out with my best friend. Don’t you enjoy spending time with me?”
“Oh, sure, I love feeling like I’m at the center of an episode of The Bachelor.”
He almost choked on his coffee as he laughed. “You know, sometimes you are really funny.”
“I have an annual quota. That was my last one for the year. Hope you enjoyed it. Now go to work. I’m trying to read, and that girl is going to get fired if you don’t stop distracting her.”
“Okay, I’ll let you get back to your book. See you later, Mike.”
“See ya.” With that she was back with her nose in the book. It was as if he had never even been there. He tried not to be offended by that as he headed to the door. He noticed the girl behind the counter again, still looking his way. He lifted his cup in her direction, acknowledging her, causing her to blush red again. It never got old.
* * *
Micah had set about her day purposely ignoring the dream she had the night before. A dream like that could easily set her back again.
Her mind wanted to get lost in the past again. Her heart craved the love she had once believed would last forever. But she couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t let herself go through this again.
Knowing her empty apartment was the last place she should be in this vulnerable state, she’d found refuge in a busy coffee shop and within the pages of a mystery novel. She’d never expected to see Josh, and with the current betrayal and instability of her heart and mind, he was the last person she wanted to see.
She didn’t want to talk to him. Didn’t even want to see him. His presence was a complication, and only made matters worse. How could she address one problem while he was creating new problems?
She’d kept the conversation light and casual and hoped her traitorous body wouldn’t reveal anything about the effect he had on her. She had to stay away from him. For now, at least.
Micah had left the coffee shop shortly after Josh did, unable to focus on her novel any longer. She found herself back in her quiet and empty apartment. Sabina wouldn’t be home until late, leaving her alone with her overpowering thoughts.
She tried to fight it, but the pull was intense. Her plan was an absolute failure. In an effort to neatly contain her grief in a box, she had only further remained lost in this grieving process. Healing would never happen until the grief was faced head-on, until she allowed herself to work through the emotions and to feel them one by one.
She was pissed. None of this was fair to her. She had hopes and dreams, and long ago they had been centered around Drew. In an instant, everything had been stolen from her. She would never know what it would feel like to stand opposite him as he lifted her veil and claimed her as wife. She would never see the children they would have had. Would they have had Drew’s bright blue eyes and her red hair?
She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hit someone.
It wasn’t fair!
She needed a distraction. Turning on some music, she cranked the volume and cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, hoping to redirect some of this hostility toward the grime building in the bathroom.
EIGHT
Word had gotten back to Micah that Josh had a new girlfriend. This new piece of information should not shock her or bother her. He was showing typical behavior. She was the one who had been acting abnormally lately.
He was allowed to date. She had no claim on him. Never had and never would. However, it did annoy her that he had started seeing someone and had failed to mention it to her the other day at the coffee shop. There had always been an unspoken understanding between them. She always met the girlfriends before they became his girlfriends. Her approval was required.
It shouldn’t bother her, but oh, were her feathers ruffled. Hanna must have felt the same way, arranging a girlfriend meet and greet in the guise of a housewarming party. Or maybe it was a housewarming party with the added bonus of being able to sneak a peek at the new girlfriend. It didn’t matter.
She sat in her car, in Hanna and Nathan’s driveway, seriously considering heading back home. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to go in or not. Meeting the girlfriend was important, but she wasn’t looking forward to seeing Josh again.
Micah turned the car back on and reached for her seat belt when a knock on the window made her jump.
Busted.
“Where are you going?” Jamie opened her car door and stuck his head inside. “If I have to be here, so do you.”
“Oh, I just forgot—ah! Never mind.” She let go of the seat belt, turned the car off again and bravely stepped out of the car.
“Dang, girl! You look hot!”
Heat rushed to the surface of her cheeks, and she was sure they were turning an embarrassing shade of red. She looked down at her black leather leggings and electric-blue suede booties.
She was trying something new in an effort to feel better about herself, but it had only caused her to second-guess herself more. She felt so insecure in the new clothes, but she kept recalling Sabina’s lecture on confidence. Confidence makes the outfit. You can pull off anything as long as you do it confidently.
Therefore, she doubted her ability to pull off the look. “I don’t look ridiculous?”
“Heck, no!” He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her along. “You’re walking in with me.”
“Wow. This place is crazy. I bet it cost a buttload of money.” Hanna had been adamant about finishing the decorating before anyone saw it. It was impressive, to say the least. Colonial architecture provided history and elegance, but the modern upgrades gave it an element of luxury. “Hanna must be making a lot more money than she’s been letting on. Next time we go out, we should make her buy.”
“I was just thinking the same thing!”
The oversize front door opened to them as they walked up to it. Hanna greeted them, looking as if she’d just stepped out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine with her happy-homeowner look. “Yay! You’re here! Let me take your coats.”
“Hanna, your home is gorgeous!”
“Thanks. Wow, Mike. Love the outfit.”
“See? I told ya.” Jamie’s elbow shot out and nudged her in the side.
“Nathan, come get these coats and put them away,” Hanna called out, disappearing into another room.
“Guess we have to give ourselves a tour.”
“I think that sounds like a good idea.” Taking Jamie’s offered arm, she followed him as they went off to explore the huge house in all of its glory. Each room was filled with people—people in suits—Hanna and Nathan’s type of people. Their conversations were even boring in passing.
She could hear Josh’s voice coming from farther down the hall. A delicious tingle traveled down her spine. Never had the sound of his voice incited such a reaction from her. She told herself to get a grip. It was just Josh. BFF Josh.
It didn’t matter what
she wore or whether or not she wore it confidently. She would never turn his head. The girls he dated—and there were plenty of them—were of a higher caliber. They were girls who cared about their appearance, like, really cared. They had magnetic personalities. They tended to giggle at everything he said. He got attention everywhere he went.
He had never, not once, dated a bookish girl with glasses and an affinity for sweatpants. So it was absolute insanity to think he would actually look her way or think of her as anything other than a sister or best friend. Pure insanity.
Where was this coming from, anyway? Why the sudden resentment?
As she entered the room and caught sight of him, he automatically affected the temperature around her. He looked good. Really good. Drawn into the way his T-shirt hugged his muscled torso, she almost missed the girl holding onto his arm.
She was beautiful. Long blond hair hung in wavy curls around her shoulders. Her body was...well, it was dangerous. Maybe even lethal.
See? This was what she had to deal with. She needed to just forget about this and get some sense knocked into her.
Distracted by her wandering thoughts, Micah almost missed the introductions. She wasn’t really paying attention. She caught the name.
Taylor.
Figured. She looked like a Taylor, all blonde and bubbly.
Was this jealousy? What kind of a question is that? Of course it’s jealousy!
Micah forced a smile and waved her greeting to the new arm candy. She was being rude and she knew it. Josh would let her hear it later, but she couldn’t help it. She just did not care right now. Why did she have to be nice to all of his interchangeable arm extensions?
He sent a perplexed look her way, which she chose to ignore. Let him think whatever he wanted. She wanted to leave, to go home. She was acting like a crazy chick with all her erratic roller-coaster emotions. There was no way she could handle being around him right now, especially with this Taylor girl at his side.
Micah left the room and ran into Hanna in the hallway. She reached out and grabbed her arm as she passed by. “I’m leaving, Han.”
“What? You can’t go!”
“I’m just not feeling good.” She couldn’t believe she’d just lied to her friend. What kind of person was she turning into?
“I don’t care. This is a big night for me. This is my housewarming and engagement party.” She let out a deep sigh. “Okay, I didn’t mean that. I care if you really are sick. Are you really? Or is something else bothering you?”
“You’re right. It’s your big night. I’ll hang out a little while longer.”
“Thanks. If you really are sick, I’ll forgive you if you have to go.”
“Gee. Thanks.”
If she could just steer clear of Josh and his new girlfriend then maybe, just maybe, she could survive this party.
“Come with me. I have someone I want to introduce you to.”
Hanna took her by the wrist and pulled her into another room. She obviously didn’t have a choice in the matter. “Just what I wanted tonight—a fix-up.”
“He’s really nice!”
“I’m sure he is.”
Hanna pulled her to a stop in front of a very tall man in a suit. Yes, a suit. At a party.
Uh, I don’t think so.
“Micah, this is Cameron Patterson. Cameron, this is Micah O’Shea.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” He stuck out his hand in greeting and she took it.
She glanced sideways at Hanna before speaking. “Oh, really? All good, I hope.”
“Yes. Hanna has sung your praises.”
“Has she now?” She threw another look Hanna’s way. She would definitely kill her later. “So do you work with Hanna?”
“Yes. Are you a lawyer, too?”
“Me?” She laughed. “Oh, no. I’m...uh...in between jobs right now. Hanna and I have been friends for forever.”
“Really? So you two grew up together?”
“Pretty much.” Micah’s eyes scanned the room without her realizing what she was doing—subconsciously looking for Josh. No sign of him.
Cameron wasn’t bad on the eyes. He had to be at least six foot four, judging by how he towered over her. He had kind eyes and a pleasant voice, but none of it mattered. Her life was a mess, emotionally and physically.
She wanted to grab hold of his arms, look him in the eye and tell him, You don’t want me. I would be no good for you. I can promise you that.
And that hurt.
Drew had ruined her by dying and leaving her to endure years of grief and pain, and by ruining all her best-laid plans and dreams.
Josh had ruined her, too, with the way he’d babied her all those years. Because of the attention he’d bestowed upon her and the affection he so easily gave, she’d never sought those things from anyone else. Therefore she’d never dated, never faced any of her issues, and most importantly, never healed.
She was of no use to anyone anymore. And it was all their fault.
* * *
Josh had no idea why he’d brought Taylor. She had called and asked what he was doing and on a whim he’d asked her if she wanted to come. But the moment Micah walked into the room, he knew he had made a huge mistake. What had he been thinking?
She’d strutted into the room wearing leather—leather!—leggings and high heels. Her black top dipped low in the front and he fought the urge to cover her with a coat. Her usually riotously curly hair, now straightened into submission, hung like silk around her shoulders and down her back.
Sabina and Jamie introduced themselves to Taylor, but Micah just gave a slight wave. He tried to read her eyes, tried to figure out what she was thinking, but failed.
She wasn’t wearing her glasses tonight, having traded them in for contacts. He liked the unobstructed view of her eyes but missed the glasses. They were more like the Micah he was used to. He preferred her hair in a ponytail and her nose buried in a book. He liked the sweatpants. He was comfortable around that Micah. He could be himself around her. Comfort was not a word that could be used to describe what he was feeling now, with this new version of Micah standing before him.
Leather!
Their gazes locked, her poker-face expression still giving nothing away. She turned abruptly and left the room. The firm set of his shoulders relaxed as she walked away.
Every time she was near, his guard went up. It was becoming tiresome, always trying to protect. Protect himself from falling victim to his desires and ruining the best thing that had ever happened to him. Protect the promise he’d made to Drew to always take care of her, be the brother she’d never had, making her permanently off-limits. But even if he failed in all other areas, he would always work hard to protect Micah, even if that meant he had to keep her at a distance from himself.
He turned to find Taylor looking up at him. “You want something to drink?”
“You read my mind,” she purred and gave him a coquettish smile.
He headed toward the kitchen in search of refreshments, pushing his way past one too many suits. As he passed one doorway, she caught his eye. She was hard to miss. Micah stood off to the side, talking with a tall man in a suit. Her face was lit up with a smile as she laughed at something he said.
There was a huge part of him that wanted to storm into the room, knock the guy out, throw her over his shoulder and carry her away.
But the rational side told him to focus on getting the drinks he was sent to get. Micah was allowed to talk to men. She was allowed to laugh at their jokes. She was allowed to smile and flirt. She was allowed to do whatever she wanted.
But Mr. Tall Guy was not allowed to look down her shirt like he was doing.
Walk away. Just walk away.
Josh had to close his eyes and take
a deep breath. And somehow he was able to walk away.
“Hey, Josh.” He looked up to see an old friend approaching just as he made it to the drink station.
They talked for several minutes, catching up and rehashing a few fond memories before promising to get together at some point. He spun around quickly to reach for a drink and collided with her.
Vibrant hair filled his vision. Soft, luscious curves brushed up against him. Her scent surrounded him, a mixture of a day at the beach and clean laundry—citrus and maybe coconut. It was the kind of scent that made him want to escape...with her.
“Sorry. That was clumsy of me. Did your drink spill?” He quickly apologized. She stood so close. Too close. His eyes took in her down-turned gaze, traveled past to the lip she was biting and even farther down to where her top dipped perilously low. His eager gaze took in the gentle swell of her breasts, the pale ivory expanse of divine skin...
You’re such a jackass.
Inwardly he cringed. Five minutes ago he’d wanted to kill a man for doing the very same thing he had just caught himself doing.
“No. It was empty.”
What was empty?
She avoided looking him in the eye, instead looking down at an empty cup.
Oh, the cup was empty. Made sense.
“Good.” Why did this have to be so awkward? It had never been like this before. It had always been easy breezy. His eyes took in the leather leggings painted on her long legs and the bright blue heels that made them look even longer.
That’s why. She had never dressed like this before.
She made a move to lean over again, brushing up against him as he did. “I just need to get to the soda. Can you hand it to me?”
The nerve in his neck twitched erratically as he clenched his jaw. She was going to be his undoing.
“Sure. Here you go,” he choked out.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
She poured her drink and handed the two-liter bottle back to him before walking away, her hips swaying seductively.
“Hey, Josh? What happened to my drink?” He looked up to see Taylor’s innocent face.