by Gun Brooke
"He's not much for doing the 'family scene.' Granted, we haven't had much family scene to attend."
Kellen was uncertain how she should interpret the wry tone. She watched the admiral kiss Gayle on the cheek and shake hands with Alex before rounding the table and approaching her and Rae.
"Congratulations, again," he murmured. "Mrs. de Vies wouldn't take no for an answer. May I sit by your side, Kellen? It's my privilege as your father-in-law."
"I've never heard this expression." Kellen turned toward Rae for an explanation.
"It's an ancient Earth term," Rae said. "It means that my parents are now your parents too."
Refusing to let her inner turmoil show in the company of Rae's friends, Kellen merely dipped her head. Ancient tradition? Gods of Gantharat, it's impossible to keep track of all these human traditions. How am I supposed to know if they're valid or just for appearances? Is this "father-in-law" term legitimate? Is this man now my "father" as well? Her thoughts whirled as she motioned toward the empty chair next to her. "Then, Ewan, it's a privilege for me too to have you here next to me."
The steely gray in the admiral's eyes lightened at her words. Taking her hand in his, he kissed it with universal old-fashioned chivalry. "The pleasure is all mine, Kellen."
The catering staff brought in the first course, steamed vegetables with several small bowls of different sauces, and soon everybody was eating and talking. Kellen enjoyed the meal, relieved to find more evidence that SC food was not too alien for her palate.
Having grown most of their vegetables and roots on her estate, she wasn't used to synthetic or cryo-preserved foodstuff. During the spring, summer, and fall, she and Armeo rarely ate meat, but it had been introduced as a source of food again, having been almost unheard of before the Onotharian occupation. Hunting was one of the few ways for Gantharians in sparsely populated areas to get by in the winter season. The Onotharians had taken their opportunity to choose away from them by forbidding Gantharians to own anything high-tech, such as food synthesizers and computerized cookware. Of course, nobody of Gantharian descent could own any weapon without the required paperwork. To hunt for wild game, the populace could use only low-impact rifles.
Kellen looked at the end of the table where Armeo sat with David and Dorinda. He was laughing and doing the food justice, sometimes glancing her way. She felt both pride and relief that he was settling in so well. What if I have to uproot him again? He'll end up hating me if I can't provide him a home.
"He's checking to make sure you're okay." Rae's whisper made Kellen jump. "He's doing so well, but I think he's still concerned someone may snatch you away before his eyes."
"Did he tell you that?"
"Not in so many words, but you're all he has. He'll fear losing you for a while yet. If you're happy and secure, so is he."
Kellen considered this. Rae's reasoning was logical. If she settled and found the strength to shape a new life for them, his happiness would follow. Yet she'd begun anew so many times after losing the people she loved; how could she commit to anyone here? I can't pretend for a second that this fake union with Rae is anything but a sham, a five-year sentence Rae probably can't wait to finish serving.
The sound of metal against glass interrupted her trail of thoughts. Ewan Jacelon was standing with his glass raised. "Kellen, Rae, I want to join this long line of friends in congratulating you. I hope the future will bring you happiness and fulfillment, with each other and as Armeo's parents. To come here and find my daughter with a ready-made family was a pleasant surprise...one I'd given up on, to be blunt." Kellen noticed that a steely glare from his daughter made him pause. "Please, everyone, join me in a toast to the happy couple. To Kellen and Rae."
"To Kellen and Rae!" Everybody sipped their beverage of choice, only to begin to clink their glasses with utensils.
Kellen looked at Rae, uncertain of what was going on. Obviously she needed to do something, but she had no idea what.
Candles reflected in Rae's eyes, making them sparkle as she smiled. "We're supposed to kiss."
"Kiss?" This can't be true.
"That's what they expect." Rae motioned with her head toward the smiling guests still making the noise. "It's our reception, after all."
Stunned, and unsure how to proceed, Kellen looked at Rae and tried to signal her dismay.
Rae's expression softened as she leaned closer. "Just do what I do." She brushed her soft lips over Kellen's, lingering for a moment before she withdrew.
The wedding guests cheered, and several demanded a repeat. Smiling, Rae shook her head. "That's it," she said, reaching for a small fork. Not looking at Kellen, she waved it in the air. "I want to know what's for dessert!"
Laughter erupted, allowing Kellen time to find her bearings. She guessed Rae was buying her time to recover her wits, and she was grateful for the reprieve. She had not been prepared for such an intimate display in public.
Rae sat next to her father on the couch, with Alex on her other side. The two men shared a warm camaraderie while off duty, which had made Rae jealous when she was younger. Ewan Jacelon spoke to Alex on equal terms, with none of the implied criticism he so often intertwined in his conversation, or monologues, with Rae. Only after years of hard work had she realized she had to be proud of herself and let her job make her happy.
Barely listening to the men discuss a political issue, Rae frowned at the sound of insistent, much younger voices. Intense, they were urging Armeo to act.
"It's true, you can't, Armeo. Go ask him. Go on."
"But what if you're wrong?"
"I'm hardly ever wrong." Dorinda sounded just as haughty as Gayle sometimes did when Alex showed his stubborn side and required what his wife called "gentle persuasion." Her tactic was identical, and just like Alex, Armeo folded.
Three young faces peeked around the bulkhead, Armeo's nervous. He took a few steps closer and wiped his hand on his trouser legs, evidently waiting for the admiral and Rae to notice him.
"Yes, Armeo, did you want something?" Ewan Jacelon asked. "You look troubled."
"I have a question, sir." Glancing at Rae, he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. "Dorinda tells me I've got it wrong. She says since your daughter married Kellen, you're my step-grandfather and I can't call you by your first name, like you suggested."
Rae held her breath, awaiting her father's reply with her hand tightening around her coffee mug. Damn you if you let him down, Father. Don't ignore him too. Armeo's eyes were huge in his thin face. The thought of her father condescending to him in front of his friends awoke painful memories of similar situations when she was Armeo's age.
Leaning forward, her father reached for the boy's hand. "Armeo, you know what? I think Dorinda has a point. I wasn't thinking when I asked you to call me Ewan. Normally, you'd call your grandfather 'grandpa' or 'granddad.' Now, I'm going to give you the choice, since you're not a child, but a young man. You can keep calling me Ewan, if you like"—Rae met her father's eyes and couldn't decipher the emotions stirring in his—"but it would make me happy if you'd consider calling me either of the other two."
Armeo's face brightened, and he looked over his shoulder at his two friends.
"I told you so," Dorinda said helpfully.
"So which is it going to be?" Ewan Jacelon asked, a broad smile changing his stern features.
"Granddad. I like how it sounds. Can I tell Kellen?"
"Sure."
"Thanks!" Armeo swiveled and hurried toward the opposite corner of the room where Kellen was talking to Gayle and Leanne.
Rae was astounded. Unable to quite believe what she had just witnessed, she turned to her father, her voice low. "You realize what you just did, don't you?"
"If you're asking if I knew what it means to Armeo, yes. I may have acted like a bull in a china shop with you when you were a little girl, but I'm not completely insensitive. Maybe I've learned from my mistakes." Ewan stroked his beard, usually a sign that he was concerned. "He's vulnerable and needs rea
ssurance, something to cling to. He needs to be certain that not only you will stand up for him and his mother, but that I will too."
"Don't let him down." Rae's throat hurt. "Just... don't."
The admiral shook his head. "I give you my word."
Rae rose from the couch. Feeling out of place and out of sorts in civilian clothes, she caught Kellen's glance across the room. Even at this distance, she could detect a multitude of questions in her skeptical blue eyes.
Kellen stepped out of Armeo's room, careful not to close the door completely behind her. Armeo wanted to read for a while, and for once she extended the time before lights out. She knew he needed to unwind as much as she did after the surprising turn of events during the evening. She could tell it meant a great deal that the admiral had invited Armeo to view him as a grandparent.
The living room in their quarters was dark. Walking into the master bedroom, she found Rae unzipping her dress and tugging it off her shoulders.
"You received a lot of compliments for the dress. It was a good choice." Kellen attempted small talk while she watched Rae remove the pearls, only to curse under her breath when the necklace became stuck in the small buttons on her dress. She walked up to her and freed it, then put it back into its case.
"Yes, seems it was a hit. So was yours. I saw you had a long conversation with Leanne D'Artansis. Pilot talk?"
"Yes. I'm considering what kind of position to apply for. I asked her opinion."
"You did?" Rae stopped on her way to the bathroom. "What did she say?"
"She understood my concerns and suggested I take some simulation tests to find out what ships suited me best." Kellen was puzzled at how devoid of emotion Rae's eyes had become.
"Good. Sound advice." Turning to go into the bathroom, Rae seemed to change her mind a second time, glancing over her shoulder, her eyes dark gray. "What concerns did you mean?"
Kellen began to unclasp her dress. "I've researched the positions available for a pilot on Gamma VI. I don't want to stay away from the station for any long periods of time, which limits my possibilities."
"Of course. Armeo."
"Yes, and you. If we're going to make our marriage work, neither of us should be gone for any great length of time. Also, it's dangerous if I pilot a merchant vessel along the border, for instance."
To Kellen's surprise, Rae seemed to stiffen. "You're right. You're absolutely right." She paused. "Why didn't you come to me sooner and discuss this?"
Taking off her dress, Kellen shrugged. "I didn't want to bother you with details. You already knew I was concerned about not having a meaningful job. I thought if I showed you I could find one on my own..." She shrugged. "I'm not a child like Armeo. I don't need my wife to take care of every little thing for me."
"That's not what I meant. I...oh, never mind. It doesn't matter." Turning away, Rae went into the bathroom and closed the door.
Kellen stood motionless for a moment before she hung her dress up in the closet. Sitting down at the dresser, extracting the pins from her hair, she bit her lower lip. Why did Rae act like this? As she removed the rest of her clothes and put on a satin-mesh kaftan, she went back over their conversation in her mind. Rae had asked her about her conversation with Lieutenant D'Artansis, and then... Lowering her hands, Kellen stared at her reflection in the mirror. The red kaftan flowed freely around her, the thin material barely more than an insect's web. Her hair lay in tousled locks around her shoulders, and she had a haunted expression in her eyes that she recognized all too well by now. When was the last time I relaxed and let go? I can't remember. Ever?
"The bathroom's all yours." Rae was dressed in a similar robe. "I just rinsed off". I'm tired."
Not sure how to be anything but direct when dealing with her wife, Kellen waited until Rae sat on her side of the bed before she pivoted on the stool. "Did I break protocol when I talked to Lieutenant D'Artansis, rather than you, about my career choices?"
"Oh, God, of course not. Actually, if you'd come to me first, I'd have told you Leanne D'Artansis is the one to approach for such advice."
"Your reaction earlier suggests otherwise." Kellen rose and walked over to the bed. Sitting next to Rae, she looked down at her spouse's hands, then reached out and covered the one nearest her. "Why did my initiative upset you?"
"It didn't..." Rae curled her hand, hiding it under Kellen's. "Damn it, it did. Leanne is your age, shares your profession, and she's very beautiful." Rae looked utterly dismayed. "I was jealous. This is ridiculous! I don't have time for this. We have to focus on the custody hearing and make damn sure the court-ship judge rules in our favor." Rae rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand, her movements jagged, clearly showing her annoyance.
Stunned, Kellen didn't know what to say. She knew she had to try to preserve what little trust they had between them. Armeo's future depended on it. "Surely you must realize how superfluous any jealousy on your part is?"
Raising her head, Rae blinked. "What?"
"Our marriage is little more than a business deal. I guess politics is an even better word. No emotions are involved, which means there's no call for jealousy."
Rae blushed faintly and her eyes turned blank. "I'm well aware just what our marriage is all about. After all, it was my idea."
"I know that. I hope there won't be more displays of public affection."
Rae flinched. "What do you mean?"
"The kiss." Kellen's ire was up and she knew it would've been smarter to remain calm, but her own reaction to the short caress in front of Rae's friends and subordinates still upset her. Completely unexpectedly, the kiss had sent shivers through her entire being and stolen her breath. She definitely believed any signs of vulnerability on her part could get her and Armeo separated, or worse, killed, and she could still feel the soft caress of Rae's lips on hers. "Well?" she insisted when Rae didn't reply.
"I'm sorry our first kiss had to take place in public. It's not how I'd pictured it."
Kellen let go of Rae's hand as if she'd burned herself. "You've imagined a first kiss between us?"
Rae squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and looked like she wished she hadn't opened her mouth. "Only natural, don't you agree? After all, we're married."
"You maneuvered me into this union, and that doesn't give you any right..." Kellen choked when her temper ignited again. Staring at Rae, she hated how her eyes began to prickle with tears of fury.
"Are you implying I'm demanding my marital rights?" Rae thundered. "That's a damn insult and totally uncalled for!" She rose and tugged her kaftan closer around her.
Kellen followed her, walking closer to tower over Rae. "Is it? You've just confessed to harboring precisely such thoughts. Am I supposed to happily oblige?"
"Damn you." Redness seeped into Rae's cheeks. "I can't believe you said that."
Acting before she thought, Kellen grabbed Rae by her shoulders, pressing her lips against hers. As if frozen, Rae stood still between her hands, her mouth half open under Kellen's. Rampaging feelings flooded Kellen's body, and she crushed Rae against her. The smaller body fit well along her lean, muscular frame.
Rae seemed completely stunned for a few more seconds, but then she raised her hands, and Kellen expected a struggle. Instead, Rae moaned as she cupped her cheeks and slipped her tongue between Kellen's lips.
Kellen had never reflected if the art of kissing was universal, but now it was entirely impossible not to return the caress. Meeting Rae's tongue with hers, she tasted her for the first time, wanting to both growl with anger and whimper at the unexpected pleasure. The kiss went on for a few seconds longer before Kellen pushed Rae back at arm's length.
"You're just like the Onotharians, trying to bind me to you regardless of what you have to do to accomplish it. You don't own me!" A lump grew in Kellen's throat from sheer anger, preventing her very breath.
Her eyes a cold, slate gray, Rae spoke low and forcefully. "How dare you compare me to someone like M'Ekar and his peers? How can you even sugges
t anything like that? I'm stuck in this for five years too, remember? I've put my life on hold just as much as you have. I've risked my name and my career to keep you and Armeo safe. I don't need this from you!"
Rae now growled, not backing away but placing a strong hand, knuckles first, on Kellen's chest. "You can curse your fate for hours on end, but the fact remains, we're stuck with each other and have to fake this union as best we can."
Kellen raised her hand faster than even her own eyes could detect and grabbed Rae's wrist. Clutching it, she kept it pressed against her chest. She didn't take her eyes off Rae's, and her heart raced as her temper flared. "Don't worry. In five years, or sooner if possible, I'll be gone, and so will Armeo."
As if time stopped, Rae ceased to breathe for a moment and seemed speechless. Lowering her gaze toward her hand, she didn't tug; instead she kept it where it was. "Five years is a long time."
Taken aback by the remorseful tone, Kellen loosened her grip a little. "Yes."
"Armeo will be a young man of seventeen. He'll see me as a parent, and you really must consider me made of steel and devoid of feeling if you don't realize that I'll consider him a son long before then," Rae said throatily.
Suddenly ashamed of her outburst and accusations, Kellen regarded the woman in front of her with new eyes. She saw pain in Rae's gaze, and had she been able to, she would have relented. However, she had Armeo to consider, and he took precedence in everything she did. She couldn't afford to soften in front of anyone, least of all someone in Rae's position. Tomorrow she'd be back in her uniform again, back in command, the one who determined her immediate future with Armeo by her side.
"A lot can change in five years," Rae said, stronger now. "You should be the first to concede that whole worlds can go under in less time than that."
Kellen stepped closer to Rae again, pressing the commodore's fist harder into her soft flesh. "That's not fair."
"It's true, isn't it?" Rae freed her hand and folded back the bedcovers. "We better get some sleep."