by Gun Brooke
She whirled around, eye ablaze and all her muscles engaged. "Make no mistake. I will remain at Armeo's side and keep him safe—or die trying."
Rae had never seen Kellen look more dangerous, or beautiful, as she did standing there before the porthole like a sleek feline defending her offspring against predators, the lights from stars and spaceships behind her.
Rae looked around the table. "Let's adjourn. Kellen has confirmed the information we need, and I now wish to speak to her alone. Dismissed."
Admiral Jacelon quirked a sardonic eyebrow at being dismissed by his daughter, but only stated he was going to catch up on some sleep.
When the door closed behind Lieutenant Grey, Rae remained seated for a moment. Then she slowly rose and crossed the floor, not taking her eyes off the other woman, who looked less like the Kellen she had begun to know over the last few days and more like the angry and defiant alien she had tractor-beamed to Gamma VI. Still, the sight of the young woman she had married evoked a surge of emotions within her. She wanted to rush over to her, take her in her arms, and swear everything would be all right. Sensing such actions were out of the question, she resorted to merely gazing at her, thrilled by her beauty.
"My plans haven't changed," she said, inserting strength into her voice, wanting to set things straight. "Our marriage, and consequently our mutual guardianship of Armeo, is still on."
"And your father? Is he still going to be 'the person beyond reproach' we need to convince the SC legal system?" Kellen hissed. "He sounded less certain now that he knows the truth. It's more than he bargained for, isn't it? Armeo's heritage, my position..." Her pupils dilated, rendering her eyes dark shadows. "How can you be sure he won't change his mind when the political situation is so much more volatile than he originally thought?"
Rae folded her arms across her chest. "My father has worked nonstop since the battle yesterday to inform himself of your laws, your history, of all you didn't tell us, in order to keep Armeo safe and with the woman he considers his mother. I realize you had to be careful, but once you knew what I was prepared to do to protect you..." Rae clenched her teeth against the stab of pain. "You could have told me the truth."
Kellen clasped her hands, and Rae noticed from the whitening skin how her blunt fingernails dug into her flesh. "You don't have to remind me of what you were prepared to do, Rae. I know you've put your life on a five-year hold."
"That's not what I meant!" Rae stepped closer. "Granted, the first day, I thought of it as an overwhelmingly long time, but how can you suggest after last night that you think it's all about sacrifice?" Appalled at how hurt she sounded, Rae bit off the last word. Turning, she meant to put some distance between them, when a hand on her arm stopped her.
"Rae, don't...don't go."
"I'm not going anywhere. We're going to finish this conversation." She looked at Kellen. "Last night was just about the two of us. You were all I was thinking of."
"And I thought only of you. It hurts to know the plans have changed."
"What makes you think that?" Her head spinning, Rae tried to remember what was said during the meeting.
"The judge your father consulted, the same judge who will be presiding at the custody hearing, thinks Supreme Constellation intergalactic law may not support my role as a Protector. Even if M'Ekar loses the case, I risk losing Armeo to someone else whom the SC deems more fit for this assignment."
"My father has found nothing to indicate Judge Beqq will take a boy from the only family he's ever known! What's more, he will still speak on our behalf, and if you ask me, this entire station is prepared to testify for you after what you did yesterday." Suddenly she realized this was Kellen on the verge of panic. Going into action mode, she struck out in all directions in a desperate measure of defense—one woman against the universe. The habit of a lifetime.
Rae took her gently by the shoulders. "Listen to me, darling. We've learned more of your past, that's true, but you've committed no crimes, nor are you guilty of any wrongdoing. Yet. If you take Armeo and run now, however, the SC will not look favorably on it. They will think you put him in unnecessary danger."
Kellen inhaled deeply. "I was certain..." She blushed faintly. "I was certain you and your father were about to change your minds."
Deciding to gamble, Rae listened to her heart and embraced Kellen tightly. "Do you usually jump to conclusions so rashly?" she asked with deliberate tenderness.
Kellen stiffened. "I don't know. I'm so used to carrying the full responsibility on my own. I need to be suspicious, to constantly assume the worst." She slowly wrapped her arm around Rae. "This strategy has kept Armeo and me alive through the years. It saved us from the pirates we ran into on our way to SC space."
"I understand." Rae kissed below Kellen's ear. "I do understand, but it's important that you get used to talking to me. If we can't trust each other, Armeo is in jeopardy. I want to keep the two of you in my life, and I don't just mean for the sake of justice."
Kellen pulled back and looked down at Rae. "What are you saying?"
Lifting her hand, Rae caressed her wife's cheek with the back of her hand. "Surely you must realize what's growing between us? Can you blame me for wanting to hold on to that as well?"
"No, I can't blame you. After last night I was confused. For the first time, my main objective wasn't clear. Don't misunderstand. I would still do anything to keep Armeo safe... but the way you make me feel. It's unexpected."
"As in good unexpected?" Rae quirked an eyebrow. She wished she could read the emotions chasing each other in her wife's eyes.
"Yes." Kellen surprised her with a breathtaking smile, making her inhale deeply and forget to exhale. Her sheer beauty was enough to make Rae lose track of more than her breath.
"I need you to promise me something," she urged. "I know you're impulsive, but I'm certain you wouldn't lie to me. Tell me you won't grab Armeo and run. Come to me first, and we'll solve whatever situation may come up together. Don't ever just.. .disappear."
After a pensive moment, Kellen nodded. "Very well. I give you my word. However, no matter how I feel about you, Armeo comes first."
"Of course he does." Rae glimpsed a strange sadness in Kellen's eyes and let her hand slide down the black leather sleeve of her suit. "How do you feel about me? Or is it too soon for me to ask?"
"You're my first personal indulgence in a very long time. I feel... happy with you."
"Oh, Kellen. I know what you're saying, better than you think." Rae sighed. "Even now, I have to get back to work. I have memorials to prepare." Feeling Kellen flinch, she hugged her closer. "You'll be there with me, won't you?"
"Are you sure?"
"I need you there. This part of my work is the hardest for me."
"In that case, I'll be by your side." Kellen kissed Rae, and it felt more like a kiss of comfort than passion. "I'll find out what's appropriate to wear. When does it start?"
"This evening at 1900 hours." Rae allowed herself to close her eyes and lean into her wife. "Thank you."
As she entered her quarters, Rae dismissed the security guard on duty before she tugged at her dress-uniform jacket. The buttons wouldn't budge, and she cursed under her breath. Kellen came out of Armeo's room, looking composed if a little pale.
"Armeo's sound asleep and—what's wrong?" She crossed the floor.
"The damn collar is choking me," Rae hissed, tugging violently at the offending garment.
"Shh, let me help you." Kellen nimbly undid the many golden buttons on the dark red jacket. Gold epaulettes adorned its shoulder pads, and tiny golden braids formed intricate patterns down its sleeves. "It's a beautiful uniform. You need to be careful."
"Right now I'm not in the mood to be careful," Rae muttered as Kellen carried the jacket away to hang it. Weak in the knees suddenly, she placed a hand on the table next to her.
She had known the memorial would be difficult, but she was unprepared for the anger that had almost choked her while she gave the eulogies. She was s
o frustrated and incensed with her own failure it made her nauseous. Rae slammed her palm on the table and realized the stinging sensation did not mitigate her fury for a second. She could still see the faces of the people who had lost loved ones in the battle, and she knew from experience these images would haunt her for a long time. They always did. So did her self-castigation, no matter how unproductive it was. Only one thing had been different today. Just as it was time for the last eulogy, her lungs had caved in, not allowing enough oxygen to reach her veins. Desperately struggling for composure, she had ended up focusing on the serene face of her wife, who sat close to the middle aisle, and only then did her voice return.
Rae wondered how she could have gone through the difficult evening without her spouse, her lover. Tugging at the top button of her shirt, she walked into the bedroom and found Kellen in front of the closet, undressed down to her underwear.
"Thank you for standing by me this evening."
"It was difficult for you." Kellen removed her thinlinnen camisole and stood before Rae in only her briefs. "I also found it hard. I can't seem to get rid of the guilt, even if my intellect tells me I'm not responsible for M'Ekar's actions."
"No, you're not." Rae dragged a hand wearily across her face. "The SC reinforcements will arrive earlier than expected, which is good news. They'll deal with the ambassador. I've ordered every Onotharian off the station. My father didn't agree with my decision, but I don't want anyone of Onotharian descent on Gamma VI at this point. Armeo's safety is paramount, and I will not compromise it."
"What about the injured Onotharians in the infirmary?"
"They have fully functional infirmaries on two of their vessels, and Gemma assured me they could be moved." Rae unbuttoned her uniform trousers, her hands moving in a jagged pattern. Is it adrenaline or am I totally screwed up? Damn buttons. "Granted, I can't be sure about the motley crew in the residential and commercial area of the station. Any one of them could be a spy, I suppose. We're still on a SEC 5 alert. I'm not taking any chances."
Kellen placed her hands over Rae's. "Let me help you." she said. "A lot has happened in these last few days, and my guess is you're hurting over the loss of your crew members."
"Of course I am!" Rae exploded. "I'm not a machine that can just keep going. I send people out into dangerous situations every day, and most of the time they make it back safely. This time... Eight of them! Eight young people with their lives ahead of them..." Recoiling, she bit her lower lip to prevent more words of self-doubt from breaking free.
"You're not responsible for their deaths," Kellen said as she carefully tugged at Rae's flaxoid linen shirt and freed it from her uniform pants.
"Oh, but that's where you're wrong," Rae argued hotly. "No matter the circumstances, I'm in command of this station, and I'm always responsible for what's going on. Always."
Kellen seemed to consider this statement. "I understand. Let me rephrase. It wasn't your fault. Your responsibility—but not your fault."
Busying herself with the buttons on the starched shirt, Rae wanted to take solace in Kellen's attempt to comfort her, but knew she had a long way to go before this pain would disappear, if ever. During the years, she had lost her fair share of crew members to piracy and accidents, and she knew every one of their faces. They still haunted her in her dreams, and when the onslaught of these nightmares kept her awake, she'd recite the names of the fallen soldiers like a prayer.
Kellen's soft hands on hers yet again startled Rae. "Let me," she murmured gently.
Not sure why the mere unbuttoning of her shirt began to calm her, Rae closed her eyes, inhaling Kellen's unique scent. Her wife pushed the shirt down her arms, removed it, and tossed it onto a chair before she proceeded to the SC-issued bra. Kellen helped her take off her boots, and soon her trousers pooled around her feet and she stepped out of them.
Shivering in only her panties, Rae didn't resist when her lover embraced her. "Kellen..."
"Yes?"
"The way you touch me. I can't believe how much I need to feel your hands..."
"Like this?" Kellen's hands slid up and cupped her breasts. "You need my touch on you, our bodies meshing together...the unity?"
"God, yes."
"So do I."
Rae felt Kellen's lips move into a smile against her temple, and she sank farther into the strong arms. "Take me to bed?"
"With pleasure." Kellen dragged the covers aside and nudged Rae to lie down.
Gratefully, she settled against the pillows and watched as her wife finished undressing. When she noticed not only the bruises from the assault-craft straps, but also several new dark marks on Kellen's bluish skin, Rae felt her cheeks warm. "Oh, God, did I cause those?"
"What?" Kellen looked surprised at the traces from the previous night. "Don't worry. They aren't painful."
"I had no idea I...we...were that forceful last night."
"Neither did I. Let me examine you." Kellen removed the covers and looked down at Rae's body. "Turn over."
Rolling her eyes, Rae turned over on her stomach. When Kellen didn't speak, she glanced over her shoulder. "Well?"
"As I suspected." Kellen tugged at the white thinlinnen panties. "Lift up."
Rae's heart began to throb faster as she lifted her hips, mystified. "What are you doing? Is there anything… oh."
Removing the underwear, Kellen pressed her lips against the small of Rae's back. "I accidentally scratched you here." Her lips traveled to the left, a bit farther down. "And sucked the blood to your skin here." Her warm, smooth tongue soothed something that didn't hurt to begin with. "And I've massaged you too vigorously here." Her insistent hands gently caressed Rae's buttocks, making her tremble and bury her face in the pillows.
Full breasts rubbed tantalizingly against her back and one leg slid between hers. Turning her head to the side, for air, she panted as her thighs were pushed farther apart.
"You didn't hurt me last night," Kellen whispered close to her ear. "You made love with me."
"And you with me," Rae said huskily, her head spinning. "You drive me crazy, do you know that?"
"How do I drive you crazy?"
The voice in her ear was a low purr, the leg between hers mercilessly pushing against her swollen sex. Rae began to roll her hips, pressing down on the silken thigh. "Your beauty, your resolve... and your fire... your tears, even..."
A hand slid around Rae's waist and worked its way down her stomach, cupping the dark auburn curls at the apex of her thighs. Knowing Kellen could feel how ready she was to be explored, Rae managed to hold back a moan, but she whimpered out loud when two fingers pushed farther inside. Undulating against the relentless hand, she closed her eyes, focusing on the pangs of pleasure beginning to mount inside her. As they slowly spread down her thighs and up her abdomen, she began to moan, knowing she was quickly losing control. Dragging one leg up and bending her knee, she pressed her body against Kellen's, seeking more of the warmth, more of the safety in having her lover behind her.
"You're going to make...me...oh!" Her inner muscles contracted, and she felt them grab Kellen's fingers in a viselike grip as she arched, coming hard in her wife's arms. For precious seconds, her body went rigid and the orgasm blazed through her like wildfire. She felt strong arms wrap around her, tearing her into a fierce embrace.
Registering on some level that Kellen had yet to experience the same release, Rae rolled on top of her and parted her legs with a quick flick of the hips. Rubbing her aching mound into her lover's, she looked down into Kellen's eyes, registering every small change. She smiled out of sheer pleasure, placing soft kisses on Kellen's full lips.
Mesmerized by the sounds emanating from Kellen, Rae rocked against her, making sure she kept up the pressure. She quickly became caught up in the rhythm and pulled one of Kellen's legs up over her shoulder. Having unlimited access, she now rubbed frantically against her wife. It seemed the increased fire of the caress was too much for Kellen. She gave a sudden cry and went rigid beneath Rae, tos
sing her head back in abandon. Rae looked at her with burning eyes. She didn't want to miss a thing. Oh, stars, you're like a liquid blue flame. You're beautiful. Lean. Can’t get enough of this heat, of your legs around me, pulling me in. Into you... Oh, Kellen. She continued to rock, slowing the pace gradually until they finally came to a halt. Kellen's hair, untangled from its usual severe hairdo, tumbled around her shoulders and spread across the pillow.
"You've never looked more beautiful." Rae was unable to stop looking or move off her wonderful lover. She took yet another leap of faith, voicing her previous thoughts. "I can't get enough of you, darling."
Kellen drew a trembling breath. "I can't get enough of you either. You're all-important to me...and our lovemaking is too. I ache inside when you're unhappy."
Rae stared at Kellen, deeply touched. Unable to find the right words, she kissed her softly before she slid down to lie along her right side. "I guess we should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be another long day."
"Yes." Kellen shifted, turning on her side and facing Rae. "Sleep well."
Raising a hand to push back the long blond hair from her face, Rae cupped Kellen's cheek and smiled languidly. "You too."
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
"All rise! The honorable Judge Amereena Beqq presiding!" The imposing figure of Kosaric, the bailiff, compelled Rae and everyone else to their feet as his fluorescent yellow eyes scanned them carefully. Of Savorian descent, he exuded authority.
The woman who entered from the chambers behind the main courtroom aboard the vessel Dalathea was a striking human-Cormanian hybrid. In her early fifties, with a river of red hair flowing down her back in long curls, she wore a traditional twillmix black cloak, a custom that began on Earth more than five centuries earlier. It flowed around her, its bloodred Cormanian fairy-silk lining whispering against the black retrospun cotton dress underneath. Before sitting down, she let her gaze sweep over the people gathered to seek her ruling.
Agador Gosh, Kellen and Armeo's legal representative and Jeremiah's civilian friend from the private legal firm in the commercial sector, had requested closed doors for the custody hearing because of its classified nature. Not counting the parties involved, only six people were present, all with the required security clearance. Four high-ranking Council members were witnessing the testimonies via view screens routed through a secure subspace signal.