by T. N. Cole
I sat in the tub opposite her, and I pulled her feet into my lap so I could massage them. I watched as her mouth fell open when I rubbed the inner arch of her foot. She moaned and the sound traveled straight to my cock. She was so beautiful. When she made another satisfied noise, I couldn’t restrain myself anymore. In one swift motion, I spread her legs and moved to kneel between them. She gasped and her eyes flew open just in time to see me claim her lips.
It was my turn to groan as she responded with equal force. I kept one hand on the nape of her neck, pulling her even closer to me, and the other hand wandered to play with her nipples. She wrapped her legs around my waist and rubbed her pussy against my hard cock as she desperately clutched at my shoulders. My hand slipped lower and I pressed two fingers inside of her. She hissed against my mouth, and as I started to pump my fingers in and out of her, she threw her head back. I kissed down her neck and sucked her right nipple into my mouth.
“Tristan,” she keened. “Tristan, stop. I want you inside me.”
I pressed my thumb against her clit as I continued to move my fingers against her pussy. “I need to get a condom,” I muttered. I tried to move away, but she wouldn’t let go of me.
“I’m on the pill,” she panted.
I didn’t know how to respond. Of course, I wanted to be with her without anything separating us. Except I didn’t know if it was worth the risk. “Baby, are you sure?” I asked as she nibbled on my bottom lip.
She nodded. “We’re both clean. This isn’t a one-night stand. We’re in a committed relationship; we should be able to have sex without a condom.” I moved so I could look in her eyes. She met mine, unafraid. I could see the want and the adoration deep within her brown eyes. I growled and slammed my lips against hers.
If this kiss was any indication of the fucking about to ensue, then this wasn’t going to be gentle at all. Our teeth clashed and our tongues tangled together. Our hands were roughly exploring each other. Finally, it was too much. “Now, Kate,” I rumbled. Her hands slipped between us as she grasped my cock and positioned me at her entrance. I grabbed her hips as I pushed forward with one hard thrust. “Oh fuck,” I groaned at the same time that Kate screamed. The sensations were too much. I started moving faster, the water sloshing violently around us. The bubbles were quickly disappearing with all our movements.
As punishing as my pace was, it wasn’t enough for Kate. She pushed me back so I was sitting on the bench on the other side of the hot tub. She climbed on my lap and slammed back down on me. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I yelled her name. The water was now splashing over the edge of the tub, but neither of us gave a fuck. We quickly fell into a rhythm—I thrust my hips upward at the same time that Kate would grind down on me. When I felt her legs starting to tremble, I knew she was close. “Kate…” I warned.
“Oh, god. Tristan. I’m so close.” I took one of my hands off her hips, and I started circling her clit. Her movements turned wild, and she started chanting my name. With an incoherent cry, she came around me, her pussy pulsating around my cock. I grasped her hips and continued to bring her down on me until I followed her over the edge with her name on my lips.
We both fell limp, fighting to catch our breath. She stayed on top of me and curled into my chest. I held her as my head fell back and my eyes fluttered shut. “Holy shit,” I muttered. Kate giggled and kissed up my neck to my mouth. “I fucking love this hot tub,” I murmured around her lips.
“We should probably get ready for dinner,” Kate finally said. She stood up and stretched, giving me an amazing view of…well, everything. She caught me staring and winked at me. “Later, babe.” She stepped out of the tub and burst into laughter. I stood and followed her gaze—water covered the floor. The tub was only half-full at this point.
“Well…” I grinned. Kate tried to glare at me but failed because she couldn’t hide her smile. “Why don’t I clean this up while you get ready? It’s going to take you longer, anyway.”
“I knew there was a reason I was dating you. You fuck me into oblivion and then clean up after me, too. A man after my heart.” She teasingly covered the left side of her chest with one hand. She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss me quickly before turning to wrap herself in a towel. I smacked her on the ass, and she wiggled her eyebrows at me then left the bathroom.
“That’s what you’re wearing?” I asked incredulously. She wore a short gold dress that was tight around her breasts and covered with sequins. It flared out at the waist, puffy with glittery tulle. She’d piled her hair on top of her head, and black fuck-me heels adorned her feet.
She raised an eyebrow at me and twirled in a circle. I growled, causing her to frown. “You don’t like it?”
“I fucking love it. That’s the problem.” I reached out and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her against me. She placed her hands on my chest and looked up at me with a breathtaking smile. “You’re gorgeous. You look like my personal Christmas present. And I want to unwrap you. Now.” I leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips, teasing her.
Her eyes shone as she brushed my hair back from my face. “Well, you clean up pretty well yourself, sir.” I was in a tailored suit, but I had forgone the tie. I didn’t need it for the dinner. For dessert with Kate later tonight? Maybe.
“Sir? Hmm, are we role-playing now? Do I get to order you around and tell you to bend over so I can fuck you from behind before we go to dinner? Because I really don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate on anything else besides that.”
She smacked me on the chest, but I smirked because I could see that her pupils had dilated with my words. She glared at me and stepped out of my embrace. I let her take me by the hand and pull me out the door. “You can unwrap me later. You think this is a nice package? Wait until you see what’s under this.” She looked back at me with a coquettish grin.
I shook my head in amusement and frustration, but resisted the urge to slam her against the wall and kiss her senseless. Instead, we headed down to the dining hall to have Christmas dinner with my mom and Adam.
THE BACK PORCH GAVE a stunning view of the acres of land covered in snow. The sky was clear out here, and I marveled at how bright the stars were. We had been here for a week now, and we were leaving in two days. We were watching the countdown to the ball drop in Times Square on TV, and I needed a breather from the festivities.
I didn’t know it was even possible for me to be this happy. I didn’t know if I really deserved it, but hell if I was going to let anyone take it away from me now. It wasn’t just that I was in a good place with my mom. It wasn’t just seeing my mom carefree and happy with Adam. It was being with the beautiful brown-eyed girl with the feisty mouth and amazing smile who I had fallen in love with. Kate made me see the world in color again, and no matter what she said, I was going to show her how much she meant to me for the rest of my life.
My mom came out and joined me, a glass of red wine in hand. We leaned against the railing in comfortable silence as we gaped at the scenery in awe.
Finally, my mom spoke up. “Katelyn really is something else, isn’t she?” I looked inside the glass doors and saw Kate doing a silly little dance-off with Adam in the living room. I smiled as she threw her head back in laughter. She had on another dress that made me want to lock us in our room for the rest of the night. A short black glittery number that hugged her body tightly—it had sleeves that came to her forearms and a plunging neckline. I was more than glad that the only guy who would be seeing her in that sinfully sexy dress besides me was in love with my mom.
“Do you know the real reason we’re spending the holidays here instead of Crestfall?” My mom’s question pulled me out of my thoughts.
I turned my head to look at her, and she smiled faintly when I shook my head. “Katelyn called me. Apparently, she stole my number from your phone when you weren’t looking.” She chuckled. “She told me that you planned to spend Christmas with her, and then asked if there was anywhere else we could go to celeb
rate. She said she didn’t want to see you hurting with all the memories associated with Crestfall. Especially with all those anonymous notes bringing up the past again.”
My jaw went slack. “That’s why we’re here at Adam’s?”
She nodded and stared out at the vast emptiness. “I should have already known all that. I’m ashamed that, as a mother, I don’t even know what could hurt my own child. But I’m relieved that you have her. She cares about you. She really does, baby. Don’t let her go. And don’t hold yourself back. You deserve to be happy. You deserve her.”
I was speechless. I couldn’t believe that Kate had gone out of her way to contact my mom about spending Christmas somewhere other than my hometown. And furthermore, my mom had immediately taken action at Kate’s suggestion. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I needed to get a grip. “Thanks, Mom,” I managed to get out.
She waved off my gratitude, wrapping one arm around me. “You have nothing to thank me for, Tristan.”
I cleared my throat as I straightened up. “I need to talk to Kate.” I rubbed my hands on my thighs as I started to head back inside.
She gave me a knowing smile and tilted her head back up to gaze at the sky.
Kate’s eyes were on me as soon as I opened the door. I strode straight to her and enveloped her in my arms. “Hey.” She laughed as she hugged me back. “What’s going on?”
I pulled back and stared into her warm brown eyes. I saw Adam quietly slip outside from the corner of my eye. “You’re amazing, you know that?” I pushed her curls away from her face and caressed her cheek.
“Why this time?” She laughed. She was used to my declarations of her awesomeness.
“My mom just told me why we’re here instead of Crestfall. She told me what you did. What you said. What did I do to deserve you?”
She frowned and took my face in her hands. “You deserve all of me and more, Tristan. And you have me. Mind, body, heart…it’s all yours. Even if I had a choice, there’s no one else in the world who I would want to give myself to other than you.”
I kissed her passionately, and she responded with equal fervor. You own me. All of me.
We didn’t notice Adam and my mom coming back inside from the cold. “Whoa, is it midnight already? Did we miss the ball drop?” Adam joked. We pulled apart, and I chuckled as Kate buried her face into my chest in embarrassment.
I loved her. I was positive I did. But I was afraid to tell her—I was afraid to lose her.
“Mom, it’s not like we’re not going to see each other anymore after this weekend. You’re only like an hour away. We can meet halfway in the city. Come on.” I sighed exaggeratedly as my mom clung to me.
“I know. It’s just—I don’t want you guys to go.” She sniffled. Kate giggled and my mom reached an arm out to capture her in our hug, too.
“We can have dinner next week, Carly,” Kate offered through a muffled voice. I pulled us both out of my mom’s embrace after that—I couldn’t have my girlfriend suffocating.
Adam came back into the house, shivering from the cold after loading our bags in the car. “Well, you two are all set to go.” He pulled my teary-eyed mom into his arms. My mom finally let us leave after another twenty minutes.
I dropped Kate off at her apartment first, promising to meet up with her later tonight for dinner. What could I say? We were one of those couples who spent all of our time together. When I got home, I hunted for my phone only to remember that I had let it die while Kate and I were at the ranch. I had no one else to really contact besides Kate. Kate had texted Caisey and Ryan for us to wish them Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, but that was it.
I plugged my phone in to charge and waited for it to power back on. When I picked it up to text Kate, I saw that there were messages from the private number again. I swallowed hard as I tapped the screen to open the texts.
Unknown: Merry Christmas, Tristan.
Unknown: Happy New Year’s, Tristan.
Each message had multiple pictures of Mel and me on Christmas and New Year’s from previous years. I swallowed hard and dropped my phone back on the nightstand where I left it to charge. I wondered if Adam could somehow trace this number, even if it was an unknown number. I just wanted this to stop, but I didn’t dare try to contact Adam. I didn’t want to ruin the good mood left over from the holidays.
I just needed to man up and handle this. I grabbed my phone to swipe through the pictures again.
The memories were flooding back. I clenched my eyes shut, as if the physical act of closing my eyes would stop the onslaught of my emotions. Would I ever be able to remember Mel without this gut-wrenching pain?
I threw the phone down on the nightstand again, not even wincing as I missed and instead, the phone cracked against the hardwood floor. I blindly stumbled to my closet and changed into running gear. I somehow made it out of my apartment and took off at a dead sprint, desperate to leave all of the pain behind.
You can’t run from your past, Tristan. But this time, the soft voice in my head wasn’t Mel’s. It was Kate’s.
When I got back to my apartment, it was long after dark. I had no idea what time it was. I hadn’t taken anything with me when I left for my run.
“Tristan?” Kate called out as she closed the front door. She entered the bedroom as I exited the bathroom. “Tristan!” She ran and flung herself at me.
I hesitated before wrapping my arms around her. As I buried my face in her hair and breathed her in, I realized I should have gone straight to Kate first before taking off. She was the only thing that could make me feel so calm—so alive.
Kate wriggled out of my grasp and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “Where have you been? You haven’t been responding to my messages for the past two hours!” She let go of me to gesture toward my room. “What was I supposed to think happened to you when I come here to find your things everywhere and your phone left on the floor with the screen shattered?” Her voice climbed higher as she got more and more upset. “You’re so selfish!” She hit my chest with one fist. “It’s not just you anymore; you have me, too. You have to think about me. What would I do if anything happened to you?”
I pulled her to me, and she sobbed into my chest. “Shhh. It’s okay, babe. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“You can’t—You can’t just do that to me.” She whimpered. “Especially with someone possibly following us.”
I kissed her hair. “I know. I didn’t think. I should have gone to you first. I saw those pictures and—”
“I know. I saw them when I unlocked your phone.” She leaned back to look me in the eye. “I thought you were coping with your past better.” She laughed humorlessly. “For some reason, I thought I was helping you move on—helping it to be less painful to remember. I guess I was wrong. It’s not as if I need to fix you or heal you; that’s not what you need. But I thought I could ease the pain—the guilt.” She angrily wiped her tears away. “You don’t need me.”
“No.” I cradled her face in my hands. “Don’t ever think that you’re not enough for me, Kate. My…past and how I react to it has nothing to do with you. You’re everything to me. You help me in more ways than you can possibly know. I need you. You’re the air that I breathe. You’re the star of my dark night. You’re my gravity when I have no idea which way is up. I don’t exist without you.” I kissed her, softly. She trembled against me, and I bent to pick her up and carry her to the bed.
We laid on top of the covers facing each other, and I wiped away the remnants of her tears.
“I hate it when you cry,” I murmured.
“Sorry,” she muttered shakily. I smiled in response and shook my head.
"Did you love her?" she suddenly whispered.
Did I love her? I stared into Katelyn's eyes. The dark, almost black eyes that reminded me so much of Mel's sometimes. Especially with the way they saw straight through me and all my bullshit.
Go on, Mel urged me. You know the answer to this question.
"Yeah. I did love her," I murmured, and Katelyn averted her eyes. But I wasn't having that. I touched her chin and gently tilted her head back toward me. "She was my best friend. Of course, I loved her. She was my rock—the only stability in my crumbling world. My baby sister was dead. Dad was gone. My mom was drowning her sorrows in alcohol. So yeah, I loved Mel. She was there for me." I smiled wistfully.
"But I wasn't in love with her. I want to say that I might have gradually fallen in love with her if she was still here. That's what I’d like to think," I admitted. "But what would have really happened was that she probably would have moved on after realizing she wasn't really in love with me. And a guy would have come along and worshipped the ground she walked on. Because she deserved nothing less."
I slowly broke out into a grin and continued, "And me? I would have been exactly where I am now. Right here with you.”
Her eyes shimmered, and she bit her bottom lip. I went on, "We were meant to be together. Mel or no Mel, I belong with you. I belong to you. I didn't think I was capable of love. I didn't even think I was worthy of love. But with you, all I want to do is show you how much I love you. Every day. All the time. Because you're mine and I'm yours. I love you, Kate. I love you so much.”
And I did. It felt so right to say, as if a weight had been lifted off my chest. I had no idea that I had been holding that in until I finally let it out.
Her answering grin was blinding. She launched herself at me, laughing as I pulled her so that she was laying on top of me. She kissed me once. Twice. Three times. “I love you,” she said between kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” She pressed her lips to mine, longer this time.
I rolled so that I was hovering above her, with her wrists trapped under my hands on either side of her head. “Say it again,” she pleaded as her eyes sparkled up at me.
I smiled and slowly lowered my head so that our noses were touching. Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment but snapped back open to meet my gaze. My lips brushed against hers as I said, “I love you, Katelyn Blair Sharp.”