The Heart Of The Game

by Pamela Aares

  The man went around his truck and unloaded the most gorgeous thoroughbred Zoe had ever laid eyes on.

  “Well, read it,” Rafe said, nodding to the envelope. “I can hardly stand the suspense.”

  Zoe opened the envelope.

  “Please accept Aurelio as my apology for my son’s bad behavior.”

  Zoe looked up. “It’s signed Donato Gualdieri.”

  “Please sign here, signora.” The driver held out a clipboard.

  She looked at Rafe.

  “Might as well sign it. It’s not like you can send this horse back. You’d probably start up some sort of new vendetta, knowing the Gualdieris. Although I don’t think this is what they mean by don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

  As the truck drove off, Rafe turned to her. “Zizi, I hope you aren’t planning to start some sort of refuge here. We have our hands full already.”

  She stared at him. “I wasn’t planning that. Not here. But I do know where I’d like to start one.”

  Rafe crossed his arms. “I’m all ears.”

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Later that night, after her father and Parker left for the airport, Zoe sat with Rafe in the small parlor at Villa di Fiore. A fire crackled in the hearth and took the chill off the evening.

  “Would you like a brandy?” Rafe asked as he rose from his chair near the fire and walked to the sideboard.

  “No, thank you. I need a clear head.”

  “I imagine you do.” He measured out two fingers of brandy, held the glass up and then splashed in a bit more.

  “What does that mean?”

  “These are big decisions you’re wrestling with, Zoe.”

  She stared at the flames. “You knew that the gallery wouldn’t be fulfilling.”

  “I knew it was your way of trying to hold on to Mama—to fill a hole that won’t be filled. Not with any activity.”

  “You might’ve told me.”

  “We hear only what we’re ready to hear; you wouldn’t have listened. Besides, there were forces at work beyond my comprehension.”

  “You still might’ve told me.”

  “Then I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of meeting Miss Kelley,” he said with a mysterious smile.

  Zoe hadn’t missed the sparks flying between the actress and her brother. And Alana had reported that Rafe and Cameron had danced the night away at one of Rome’s hottest nightclubs. Parker had bowed out, surprising Alana. It had been years since Rafe had been in a relationship. Not that an evening of dancing meant anything.

  “You’ll make a good profit from the sale of the gallery. Enough to feed our new cow. And to fund your refuge in Sonoma.”

  “If I can make it happen.”

  “You’ll pull it off.” He ran a hand along his chin and pressed his lips together.

  “What?”

  “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you—Vico has disappeared. The Gualdieri family is treating him as dead. Probably will do the same even if he comes back.”

  “Good thing we aren’t like that or I’d be in trouble.”

  “Changing your mind a few times isn’t a crime,” Rafe said, always the brother she’d come to count on. “We all have to find our way in the web of family, of life. Get stuck on the wrong threads—the sticky ones—and they’ll do you in. Vico made bad decisions, followed the wrong threads.”

  “I feel sorry for him.”

  “He chose his path.”

  “I still feel sorry for him. And I wonder what drove him to do what he did.”

  Rafe lifted his brandy glass, shutting his eyes as he sipped. When he looked back at her, she saw the deep love she’d come to count on from her big brother.

  “We’ll always be Tavonesis, Zizi. But we are also our own people now—each one of us. And even in relationships and with family, each person has to make a path for himself that’s true to his deepest passions.” He waved his glass at her, and the amber liquid caught the firelight. “I’m happy here. But you’re not.”

  “I once was.”

  “But not any longer, not now. I see you. I know you. I like this refuge idea. You have new life in your eyes. That’s measure enough for me.”

  She stared into the flames. “What he did for me—they were acts of true love.”

  “Cody?”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Of course Cody.” She rose and paced near the fire. “He healed something in me, something I didn’t even know needed healing.”

  Rafe sipped his brandy and settled back in his chair.

  “I didn’t even thank him.”

  “It’s not over yet.”

  “I want to believe that, Rafe. I so very much want to believe that.”

  “You’ll have to do more than believe. Dreams require action and commitment and sweat if they are to come true.”

  “I’m not feeling very brave right now. In fact, quite the opposite. I mean, maybe I’m imagining there’s something between Cody and me. Maybe I held on to the thread of joy that being around him allowed me to spin but ignored the reality.” She sank down into her chair and buried her face in her hands. “I sound like a lunatic.”

  “I have seven sisters. You sound like a woman battling her heart.”

  She hadn’t considered the confidences her sisters might’ve shared with Rafe over the years. He was the strong one, the steady one. They’d teased him about being slightly old-fashioned, old school, but he was always a calm loving voice in the face of any emotional storm, large or small. It was no wonder their papa had put him in charge of Villa di Fiore and its vineyards.

  Zoe pulled her head from her hands. “I’d like to have a sign, something to go on. Anything.”

  “I have something to show you.”

  He strode over to the desk at the side of the parlor, the desk that once was her father’s. The desk from which Rafe now presided over the family’s businesses in Italy. With a sly smile he drew a wrapped package from the large drawer on one side.

  “I found this when I rearranged the library a few weeks ago,” Rafe said. He handed the package to her. “Open it.”

  She unfolded the crinkled paper wrapping. Her heart stuttered in her chest when she saw the small painting. Her hands trembled as she removed the note from her mother tucked into the frame.

  Dearest Zoe,

  This place could be the home of your heart, a place where you discover love. I don’t know why, but I feel the possibility so strongly that I must tell you.

  I hope someday you have the opportunity to find out. And that you have the courage to greet the adventure.

  I will love you always and forever,

  Mama

  She handed the note to Rafe.

  He sat back into his chair and read it. The corner of his mouth lifted in a slight smile as he placed the note on the table and took up his glass. “She knew us all so very well.”

  He crossed his long legs and sipped his brandy. Waiting. Zoe suspected that Rafe was much like their mother, knowing their inner secrets before they did.

  But this was one secret he couldn’t have known. Goose bumps lifted along her arms as she stared in awe and disbelief at the painting. Part of her wanted to fall to her knees, to thank God or the heavens or the angels for the connection she felt to her mother. Her mother couldn’t have known that Zoe would meet Cody, couldn’t have known that their father would move them to California, she couldn’t have—

  A tinkling sound interrupted her racing thoughts.

  “Earth to Zoe.” Rafe tapped the signet ring he wore against the side of his glass again and smiled. “Welcome back.”

  She turned the painting to him and traced her fingers along the buff-colored hills.

  “I stood on these hills in Sonoma, Rafe. In the same spot. I... I painted this very scene.”

  She hugged the painting to her chest. And told Rafe of the day she’d heard Cody’s voice. Of their ride. And heard herself telling a tale of falling in love.

  “It’s hard for me to bel
ieve that afternoon was only a few months ago,” she said, letting out a heavy sigh that had been waiting perhaps that long for release. “It feels like I’ve lived a lifetime since then.”

  Rafe tilted his head, and the fire’s flames danced across the half smile lingering on his face.

  “Like I said, Zizi, dreams require action if they are to have any chance of attaining life and love. Love requires everything of us. Sometimes more than we think we can give.”

  When she went up to her room, Zoe found she couldn’t sleep. She walked out onto her balcony and stared up at the night stars.

  She took in the countless points of light dancing against the vast dark sky. Above her, Canis Major, the great dog and friend to Orion, arched high and twinkled. At its heart the scorching bright Sirius, guiding light of sailors and all those lost in the night, beamed steady and beckoning, unmatched in brilliance. Sirius pulled at her, calling to her with its light. Her chaotic thoughts slowly quieted. A shudder ran through her as awareness dawned. And dawn it did, like the sun chasing away the darkness.

  She was part of the eternal and indestructible universe, part of the vast unfolding with its mysterious beginnings and unfathomable future. The unseen powers that coursed in the heavens also coursed in her blood, in her body, painting her dreams and possibilities. She recognized that love, with its power to draw life forward in a dance of eternal allurement, pulsed in her. Recognized too the whispered promise: the invisible power of love that guided the universe would guide her.

  She didn’t have to know every answer for every moment of her life, not today. She just needed to know that love would help guide her.

  And as she stood in the dark, tracking the patterns of the stars, she connected more than the constellations. She connected the dots of her own life. She’d been wrong about many things, had made ill-informed choices with consequences that might not be undone or easily overcome. She’d been wrong about Italy, about what she thought living there would guarantee.

  She’d thought it was the country, the land and the culture, the heritage even. But what had really drawn her back was the wish for love, like the love she’d known with family. With her mother. Drawn by the hope to be held by the place and her memories, the hope that the gallery would rekindle the happiness she’d once known. But happiness and joy—and love especially—required forward movement, not retreat. She knew that now. No creature could stay frozen in time or place and thrive. And she was a creature, a creature transforming, if nothing else.

  She could only hope that it wasn’t too late to create a future with Cody. She loved him. She knew that now too. The image of him standing in the snow, when he’d told her he loved her even though he hadn’t said the exact words, sliced into her mind. She’d made a decision for both of them in that moment, had decided their love was impossible. She chose to turn her back on it. For the good of them both, she’d thought.

  Yet who was she to make decisions for him, to think she knew what was best for him? She was as bad as her father.

  Maybe bad family habits could be inherited. They could certainly be learned. Not telling Cody that she loved him was as good as a lie. What a fool she’d been to think anything, anything, could be more important than love. The rest of the problems were simply details. Important details, to be sure, and she wouldn’t lose track of what she wanted to do with her life, but if she could, she’d rather pursue her dreams and have love. How could she have thought otherwise? Maybe this was the universe’s way of making her treasure its greatest gift. If so, the ploy had worked.

  In spite of the uncertainty that nagged at her mind, a new urgency surged through her. The future beckoned as it never had. She took in a long breath of the cool night air and raised her hands to the stars, offering a silent prayer of thanks. And then she returned to her desk and began to make new plans, new choices, fueled by the wisdom of her heart.

  She stared at the to-do list she’d scribbled in the dim light of her desk lamp, smoothing her palms across the paper. Rafe had said dreams required action. With trembling hands she clutched the pages to her heart.

  Even if it was too late, as least she’d become aware of love’s power.

  Living with that truth and her choices would have to be enough.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Nothing about her return to California went as Zoe had planned. Her plane from Rome to San Francisco was six hours late. She missed meeting her cousins at the ballpark for the final game of the Giants’ first home series of the season. She’d thought that maybe by seeing Cody play, by seeing him from a distance, that she might have some clear feeling about the plans she’d put into motion.

  The team would leave the next morning for a three-day road trip. She’d just have to live with not seeing him until they returned.

  She’d made her family swear not to leak one word about her return since she’d had plenty of tasks to take care of before she was ready to face Cody. She’d spent six jam-packed weeks getting clear about what she wanted to do and where. And with whom. She’d investigated what it would take to set up a refuge for abused and neglected horses. If she could even acquire the land. Sonoma had multiple possibilities, but she knew what her first choice was.

  Every day as she’d worked on the details, Cody was foremost in her heart. And though she’d spoken with Alex several times, she hadn’t had the nerve to ask him outright if Cody was dating anyone. He’d told her Cody made the team, and joy had spread in her at the good news. And when Alex had listened to her plans for returning to California, he hadn’t tried to talk her out of them. That was something, at least.

  She stared out the window as the jet hit the runway in San Francisco. And could only hope that her epiphany hadn’t come too late.

  The warm April sun warmed Zoe’s back as she lifted her hand and knocked on Alastair’s door for the third time. Alastair held one key to her future, not all of them, but an important one.

  “I’m coming!” she heard him call out. “For God’s sake, don’t wear a hole in my door. I’m too old to be fixing things that don’t need to be fixed.”

  She smiled. At least Alastair hadn’t changed while she’d been away.

  “Heard you were coming back,” he said as he let her into the house. He invited her into the kitchen and they chatted as she helped make a pot of fresh coffee.

  “You didn’t come here for coffee and small talk, I imagine,” Alastair said as he sipped from his mug.

  “I came to make a proposition.”

  “I’m too old to be propositioned by a young girl like you,” he said with a humorous twinkle in his eyes.

  She tapped her fingers along his weathered hand. “You’re not too old for what I’m proposing.”

  She’d rehearsed her speech on the long flight the day before. They’d sat on the runway in New York long enough that she had nearly all the details memorized. Rafe had helped her work out the legal and technical information. She now laid out the index cards capturing the highlights of those details on Alastair’s kitchen table. She only hoped her instincts had guided her well.

  “I’d like to partner with you, Alastair. I’d like to turn this place into a refuge for abandoned and abused horses. Put the land in a trust and use the funds I have to keep the refuge going. Keep it dedicated to the mission beyond your lifetime and mine. Forever, in fact.”

  “Forever’s a long time, Zoe.” His eyes had misted over, and she heard the catch in his voice.

  “God, I’m muddling this. These cards have the basic information, but your—”

  “I’m game.”

  “Pardon me?”

  “I said I’m game.”

  She was lost.

  “It means yes, let’s do it.” He poked a finger at the index cards. “All that. We can work all that out.”

  “But there’s one aspect of this I must explain, something you might not like.” She’d dreaded this part, but there’d been no way around the snag.

  “Shoot.”

  “Shoot?”r />
  “For goodness’ sake, Zoe, we’re going to have to teach you to speak English. Just tell me straight up.”

  “We’d have to develop the back acres for a vineyard. My funds won’t provide enough to keep it all going, not with inflation. And the land trust requires that you have agriculture activities onsite.”

  “I take it your dad had a hand in this?”

  Her cheeks reddened. “He most certainly did not.”

  “Hey, not so testy. I’m entitled to ask questions here.”

  “The vineyard was the only way to know that the future of the income would remain in our hands. I worked it out with my brother Rafe. He’s a financial genius.” She pulled a piece of paper from her bag and handed it to Alastair. “Here. This lays out my financial commitment and the rough outlines of a business plan. I didn’t want to rely on donors, philanthropy and all that. Donations could dry up and the animals would still need care, food and—”

  His eyes flicked down the paragraphs and rows of numbers. “I like your plan.” He pocketed the sheet of paper. “But there’s one catch.”

  She’d prepared for all counteroffers and conditions, had rehearsed her arguments with Rafe. But now, faced with Alastair, the old man she’d grown to love, she knew that deals written out on paper, no matter how much sense they’d made when she worked them out in a villa in Rome, might hold no sway with him.

  “I want you to have the house up the hill, the house I built for Daniel. Live in it, Zoe. Bring life back to this place.”

  Her heart raced as tears pooled. It wasn’t a counterproposal she’d prepared for. She threw her arms around him and hugged hard.

  He set her away from him, and she studied his face, his wrinkled, lived-in, kind, kind face.

  “Life goes by in the blink of an eye, young lady—I figure it’s best to accept the invitations to joy where I can.”

  She wanted to dance, to shout. Instead she hugged him again.

  “Thank you, Alastair. Thank you. Thank you for—”