She snort-laughed. Why couldn’t she just accept the fact that she had messed up – hugely. Not only had she ignored the things Cady had said, but she’d also ignored the things David had said when she’d pushed the road trip and cruise on him.
Denial. The counselor had advised Margie to be prepared for it. She’d said it would rear up and bite her. She wouldn’t be able to see it, but if Margie and David worked together, his end-of-life plan would be quality and he wouldn’t be in very much pain at the end.
Margie had wanted to bring him on this last adventure before he died. Not to have him die on the trip. She hadn’t really considered the fact that he would be in immense pain, nor would she have fully believed that Cady would warn them against going far and telling them to return to her place.
Cady’s warnings were beginning to make sense as more and more passengers on the ship fell ill.
There was a virus running rampant, terrorizing the world and no one knew how to stop it or even how to minimize the damage.
Lost in thought, Margie settled onto the edge of a lounge chair, staring from a seat on the main deck toward dark clouds rolling in. Of course, there would be rain and storms. They were in Seattle for crying out loud. The place didn’t know how to have a normal day of sunshine without adding in the drama of a storm.
Her plate tipped toward her lap and she barely snapped out of her thoughts in time to catch an errant brownie making its way toward her cream-colored pants. She lowered her plate, setting it on her knees and taking a deep breath. For crying out loud, why was she even wearing cream?
A cruise worker in a smart white uniform trimmed in dark blue stopped beside Margie, bending at the waist to try to catch her gaze. “Ma’am are you okay? I saw your plate slip.” His concern didn’t just stem from his job and seemed sincere.
Margie nodded, holding her plate aloft. She motioned with her fork in the other hand toward the view. “I am. The puffed swans are amazing. The clouds coming in just surprised me. I wasn’t…” She cleared her throat, lifting her gaze and smiling. “Is everyone feeling better, yet?”
The worker inclined his head, worry darkening his gaze. “No, ma’am. Sick bay is full. If you begin to feel ill, please ring the operator and a doctor will be around shortly.” He nodded his head, unable to hide the beginnings of a rash under his hairline or behind his ears. Their jobs had to be so stressful. From the splotches of red, Margie figured he had some form of psoriasis.
Margie swallowed. “Okay, yes, thank you.”
She’d ignored Cady’s warnings, believing that she knew what was best for her husband and herself. Plus, to be honest, she didn’t want Cady to know about David’s condition. They’d struggled to keep it a secret for so long. What was she supposed to do?
Dang it, she was supposed to protect her daughter and her husband but make sure she didn’t hide anything from either of them. She was failing, drastically. She’d kept David’s condition from Cady and Cady’s warnings from David.
When had Margie turned into a liar? She never lied. She didn’t like the feelings of guilt associated with it. And there was, lying, and the more she lied, the worse she felt, but the cycle was ongoing and she couldn’t escape.
What kind of betrayal would Cady accuse Margie of when David died?
How would Margie feel, if she couldn’t apologize to Cady because she was dead from the sickness?
And David… Poor David. All he’d wanted was to die, fade into the background at his home.
Margie hoped he would pull out of his current sickness so they could get off that ship. No one deserved to die in a harbor of all places on a ship turned sardine-can.
She had no idea what was going to happen. Not for the first time, she wished she had taken the time to call her daughter back. Maybe, if nothing else, she wouldn’t be filled with such deep-seated regret.
Chapter 28
Cady
Tension filled the house after Cady’s revelation. It was thick and bitter like a viscous unsweetened syrup.
Bailey and Cady hadn’t spoken since Cady’s revelation about the vaccine and both were determined to be right about what was going to happen.
What Bailey didn’t understand was that it wasn’t an option to have her die while Cady watched. She didn’t know that Cady had a plan in place for when Cady got too sick. She would stick it out as long as she could, but then, before she got to be a mess, she would kill herself. Maybe she’d be able to talk Bailey into letting her walk into the woods and Cady could do it with a gun.
The details weren’t important. All Bailey needed to know was Cady would take care of her. She wouldn’t let her suffer more than she needed to – even if she didn’t want to be protected.
Cady fixed pizza for dinner, aware she needed to start to whittle her perishable items from the fridge and freezers. How long would they have electricity? She had a generator, but that could be heard and who knew if there’d be any survivors and what they would be like. It would be exactly Cady’s luck if the zombie apocalypse ripped through the world because of Jackson.
Her science knowledge knew zombies weren’t possible. Dead tissue couldn’t be moved without recharging it with electrical charges. Dead tissue couldn’t spontaneous spark. Even a virus couldn’t do that.
No, she had no worry about zombies, nuclear bombs, or even some kind of a World War III. Cady’s concern lie in the emptiness of the world and what would happen to Bailey after Cady died, after Jackson came for her.
She actually didn’t need to wait for him. Cady was going to train Bailey. She would teach her everything she needed to learn before the virus claimed Cady. At least that was the plan. That’s what she had to do to justify protecting Bailey from death by sickness and leaving her to the dangers of a deathlike life with Jackson.
Just the thought of the decision she had made brought a queasiness to her stomach. Would Bailey talk to her afterward, at least enough to learn what she needed to?
Glancing around the lower level, Cady made sure her daughter wasn’t in the vicinity. She was probably upstairs listening to angsty music, or maybe she was talking to a friend – Cady hadn’t cut off her phone usage. That would just be horrible torture.
But not as bad as it would be when Bailey went to make a call and her friends couldn’t talk anymore.
With no witnesses, Cady climbed onto the counter beside the sink. Reaching into the back of her pharmacy cupboard, Cady pulled out a bottle of Ambien, a sleep aid Zach had been prescribed earlier that year for when he was on the road and unable to sleep when he needed to.
The pills were small, only 10 milligrams but he’d only needed a half of one to put him into a deep sleep. They were fast acting and Cady had used them once or twice herself. The aftereffects had been slight, but the sleep they’d induced had been all-consuming.
Cady pulled out a plastic bowl and used a gravy ladle to crush the small pill into a fine powder. She couldn’t believe what she was doing. There were no Best Mother of the Year awards she was up for with the moves she was making. The only thing she had to hold onto was the fact that she was saving her daughter’s life.
Desperate times called for desperate measures… or whatever it was. She wasn’t sure she believed it, but she did believe in all’s fair in love and war.
Bailey wasn’t a huge one to drink all of her beverage at her meals, so dissolving the pill into her water wasn’t an option. Best thing about Bailey was she always ate all of her pizza.
Rather than cook the medicine in the oven and chance changing the molecular structure of the compound, Cady waited until the pizza came out of the oven and sprinkled the powder on Bailey’s slice then smothered it in parmesan cheese, another favorite of Bailey’s.
Placing the dishes at the table, Cady called out to her daughter. “It’s time to eat.” Would Bailey suspect something? There was a huge amount of trust being damaged right there. Cady had to own it. In a few minutes, it would be too late to pull back from. She gripped the wooden back of her chair
and refused to change her mind.
Bailey appeared at the bottom of the stairs, cautiously approaching the table. Her eyes widened at the sight of dinner. She turned a questioning gaze on her mom.
As if she was making amends, Cady didn’t say anything, just motioned toward their seats. Hopefully, the drug wasn’t noticeable. She didn’t want to be found out with only half a pill eaten or less. Who was she kidding? She didn’t want to be found out at all.
They sat, both digging into their dinners with gusto. Bailey finished her piece, going back for seconds and thirds and they continued eating in silence. There was nothing to talk about, but that was fine. The deadline loomed and as soon as it passed, they would be fine. The could act like nothing had happened.
Even if something had.
After dinner, Bailey cleared the dishes from the table and wiped it down, then went in to the living room and turned on the television while Cady cleaned up. In even more silence.
Cady couldn’t help worrying that she might have overdosed Bailey. What if she had? Bailey wasn’t as big as Zach or Cady. Half the amount of pill knocked them both out. Cady had given Bailey a whole pill. She wanted Bailey to sleep through the shot, not sleep for a week.
Maybe it hadn’t even worked.
Padding quietly to the living room, Cady peeked in at Bailey who had fallen asleep on the couch with her hands tucked beneath her cheek. Heavy breathing suggested she was in a deep sleep.
Cady prodded her, calling her name, but Bailey didn’t answer or even stir. Cady reached down and pinched the soft skin at the back of Bailey’s bicep. Bailey’s eyelids didn’t even flutter.
Returning to the kitchen, Cady retrieved the vial and syringe from the freezer and warmed it gently between her hands. She, then, grabbed an alcohol pad from her first aid supply, and a small bandage.
What was she doing? What if it was too late? What if she destroyed Bailey’s trust for nothing?
Cady had to wait a little longer, at least for the vial to reach room temperature which hopefully wouldn’t take long, before she’d give it to Bailey. That would give her enough time to think it through one more time.
They were down to hours and Cady wasn’t going to take any more chances. That’s all she needed to know. That was it. She had no more options to make sure Bailey didn’t suffer that way. What was the point in prepping, if she didn’t take the one chance she was given to protect Bailey.
“Ugh, enough. Just do it.” She muttered to herself as she hesitated outside the living room door.
She didn’t have any other options. She couldn’t let Bailey die. Not while Cady had a prevention in her hands. She wasn’t a naturally nurturing mother, but her protective instincts were higher than most.
This was one of those times when she was out to protect her daughter – over anything else.
One way or the other, the world was changing and she had to make sure her daughter survived.
Even if Cady didn’t stand a chance.
~~~
Cady’s giving her daughter the vaccine which leaves herself exposed. Just how far will she go to survive and how much will she be able to teach her daughter before surviving becomes more of an impossibility than a possibility? Find out in Hold On, book 3 180 Days and Counting… Series.
Hold On
Hold On
180 Days and Counting… Series
Book 3
B.R. Paulson
Hold On
The vaccine is given to one of the Warren women. Now Cady must deal with the consequences.
“Don’t use the ointment” was the last message Jackson got through to Cady. The ointment is the only thing the medical industry and emergency personnel are pushing to cure the virus. Not just treat, but cure.
Why would Jackson warn Cady against using it, against even letting it into the house?
But as the reports begin coming in on the mortality rates increasing, Cady is more horrified than she could ever imagine. Cady watches in horror as the medicine touted as the cure brings more devastation.
How could she have been so wrong about her friend? Will she and her daughter live to see another day on the earth so many have taken for granted?
Her decision to trust her “friend” could be the decision that saves her daughter’s life.
But Cady isn’t home free. She’s getting sick and the mortality rate has risen to 90%. Can she teach her daughter how to survive before the virus claims her life?
This journey isn’t over yet! Find out just how far into the end of the world you can go!
Chapter 1
Cady
As long the world was ending, Cady could justify what she’d done to her daughter.
She hadn’t slept a wink with all the worry about what she’d done. Giving Bailey the vaccine after drugging her wasn’t the best move, but Cady didn’t have any other choice. There was nothing else she could do, if Bailey refused to take it.
What was Cady supposed to do? Put Bailey in a choke hold and chance missing a prime administration site? No… that wasn’t an option. Looking hard at herself, Cady wasn’t pleased with her actions. Somehow, in the last few weeks of losing her husband and finding out about the end coming, not to mention discovering her father was dying of Stage IV cancer, and an endless list, Cady had lost a part of herself and become someone she’d never wanted to be.
All of it was coming down to a do or die mentality and she’d never really thought this would be her. Pushing herself from her bed, Cady glanced out her window, spying the chickens pecking at scratch outside their coop. Bailey must be up and she’d done the chickens without prodding.
Something was wrong. Cady’s stomach twisted. Did her daughter know? Did she suspect what Cady had done? If she didn’t know yet, it was only a matter of time before she found the small disc bandage covering the spot the large gauge needle had entered her flesh.
Wrapping her robe around her, Cady pushed her hair back off her shoulders. She slid her feet into slippers with fuzzy insides and gave up on finding more to do to procrastinate going downstairs.
Cady got to the bottom of the stairs and tread softly across the wood floor. The main level of the home was open with the dining area leading seamlessly into the kitchen. A wood stove manned the west side of the level while the kitchen, with its wraparound counter, reigned over the east side of the home. A dining table defined the three areas as if there were invisible dividers designating the rooms.
She’d always loved her home, and had always teased Zach, her husband, that she was going to die there. She hadn’t realized just how prophetic that statement was.
As Cady rounded the corner from the stairs, she slowed at finding Bailey washing her hands in the sink. With her hair up in a sloppy bun similar to the night before, Bailey looked older than her almost-fourteen-years. She had a graceful neck and a gently sloped nose which Cady had always loved.
Every moment was going to become a goodbye moment for Cady. She wasn’t exposed to the disease, but that could change at any time. She couldn’t control when and if she got infected, outside of leaving her home. They had done everything they could to quarantine themselves. Sometimes, though, even a plastic bubble popped on its own.
Why hadn’t Cady thought of a plastic bubble?
Smiling at her daughter with more sentimentality than she wanted to admit to, Cady watched for a sign that Bailey remembered getting the vaccine shot the night before.
Sneaking into the living room and administering the shot after drugging her daughter hadn’t been a high point in Cady’s parenting. She winced as she recalled Bailey’s slight struggling, but never complete awakening. Apparently, the vaccine had hurt more than a hard pinch to the sensitive skin at the back of her arm. Cady never would have guessed.
Bailey turned, spying her mom beside the counter. She started, blinking her blue eyes and then cocking her head to the side. “Mom, I didn’t see you there.” She smiled hesitantly as if there was no more reason to be mad. “Did you take the shot
last night?” She didn’t know. Bailey didn’t know what had happened the night before.
Cady was going to have to tell her.
Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe not. If Cady lied to her daughter once, she would be forced to continue doing so – the act growing and building into a tsunamic of treachery that she didn’t want to become her life. Lying was a habit she wouldn’t start. She refused to send that as her last message to her daughter before she died.
Lifting her chin, Cady wrapped her robe tighter around her. She wasn’t cold. She needed the steadiness the action provided. She held her voice level. “No, I didn’t take the shot last night.” Would Bailey ever forgive her?
Bailey twisted her lips to the side, nodding slowly. “Okay, so we go together. That makes sense.” She blinked, wiping under her eyes as she seemed to accept that they were going to die and die together. “I really wish you would’ve taken it, Mom, but…” She shrugged and wiped her hands on a towel.
Cady could let her continue believing that, but then her goals wouldn’t make sense to Bailey. She shook her head, resting her hand on the edge of the counter. “How’d you sleep?” She would have to move gently into the topic. Telling someone you had drugged them and then given them a shot with a deadly virus vaccine wasn’t something you dropped into the conversation without some leading into.
Bailey gave a small laugh as if the topic brought normalcy to their lives. “Really good. I’m surprised. I was so nervous about the vaccine, I didn’t think I was going to at all.” She offered a soggy smile to Cady, unable to hide her puffy eyes and her red cheeks.
“Are you upset, Bailey? This is what you wanted.” Cady narrowed her eyes. Maybe Bailey wouldn’t be as mad, if she realized that she didn’t want to die. When Cady told her the truth, maybe she would be relieved and grateful instead of betrayed and mad. A mom could hope.
Half-shrugging, Bailey hung up the towel and turned to face Cady, bracing her arms on the counter and leaning back. “I… I didn’t want the vaccine to go to waste. I wanted you to take it. You know? I wanted you to live, Mom. Now, we’re both going to die and it seems like a waste.” She pushed off the counter and strode to the fridge and freezer combination. She opened the door to the freezer and reached inside, patting around inside. “I know you put it in here. Where is it?” She turned questioning eyes toward Cady. “Did you have to throw it out or something?”
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