by Jill Lynn
Rachel tracked him, her face glowing with pride and amusement. “I’m afraid he’s starting young.”
“Some of us do.”
They stood next to each other, watching everyone spin past them for two more songs while a war raged within him. Should he ask her to dance? Did that qualify in the friend category? Or would she sense everything he wasn’t telling her? And would Rachel even say yes?
He felt like a teenager again—minus the awkward voice cracking, thank the good Lord above.
When the smooth notes of George Strait’s “The Chair” began, Hunter decided to man up and stop being a wuss.
“Seems like a waste to listen to all of this music and not dance to at least one song.”
“It does seem like a waste.” Rachel peered around him, straining to see who knew what. “I wonder who might be willing to dance with you, McDermott. I saw Patty Holster over by the popcorn stand.” Patty was sweet all right. And she’d had white hair for as long as he’d been alive. Kind of like he assumed Rachel had been sassy since birth. “I think she’d love to—”
He interrupted her by pulling her onto the floor, and her words were swallowed up by laughter. Asking was overrated. In typical Rachel style, she completely baffled him by easing into his arms without complaint—almost as though she’d been waiting for that very thing. The woman was all things confusing, and he couldn’t get enough of her. He wasn’t sure what that said about him.
After a few times around, she let go of a sigh that could only mean contentment. Her shoulders relaxed and her eyes closed as though savoring a bite of her favorite dessert.
She was going to be the death of him. And he no longer cared to fight it.
* * *
It was time for fireworks, and everyone was camped out on their blankets or chairs, looking for the best spot to catch every pop of color.
Rachel had helped Gray find a bathroom, and now she watched him scoot through the pockets of people until he reached his mom, dad and Ryder. He plopped into Olivia’s lap, making everyone laugh. Liv said something in Cash’s ear, and he kissed the top of her head. Sappy as always. Once the two of them had figured out they were perfect for each other, they’d been the kind of steady a person could use for a building foundation.
It wasn’t the first time Rachel wished her parents could have met Liv. They would have loved her as much as Cash did. As much as Rachel did. The ache of missing her parents spread through her. She wanted her mom. Wanted to talk to her about Hunter. About the job. About everything.
Rachel could go for some wisdom right now.
Instead of going to sit with Cash, Liv and the boys, she leaned back against the building behind her. She’d let them enjoy this time as a family. They looked so peaceful, so right together. Would she ever have that? Or was she leaving that behind when she went to Houston on Monday?
Hunter appeared, settling beside her in comfortable silence. If Rachel let herself daydream, she could imagine herself married to the man next to her. They’d go home together after the fireworks. She’d live in this town she’d thought she hated, and she’d be content. Happy.
But would she? Despite her growing feelings for Hunter, she still wanted the job in Houston. She’d worked so hard for it. She couldn’t just let it go now.
The fireworks started, the booming noise causing more than a few kiddos to cover their ears. Bits of red and white shot through the sky, dripping like spilled paint until it looked as though the sparks would stay lit all the way to the ground.
Rachel kept her gaze forward as long as she could. When she couldn’t resist any longer, she glanced at Hunter. He wasn’t looking at the fireworks. He was watching her.
The uneven thumping in her chest increased as she glued her eyes back on the sparkling sky.
Trouble. She’d called him the word more times than she could count. But now she was beginning to think she’d underestimated the kind of havoc he would wreak on her heart when she left.
After a few more minutes, the pop-pop-pop of the finale rang out as blue, green, white and red flashes of color all fought for space against the charcoal sky. A hint of smoke hung in the air after the last blast, and the crowd cheered before quickly starting to disperse.
She and Hunter were as close as they could be without physically touching. He had picked her up this morning for the parade, but it would make sense for her to catch a ride home with Cash and Liv. They’d drive right by her place.
Rachel could avoid the sensation flowing between herself and Hunter. She could skip out on the turmoil this time around.
He nudged her shoulder with his. “Am I dropping you off?”
Yes. Her desires momentarily outweighed her maturity.
“I’ll ride with Cash and Liv. There’s no reason for you to drive past your ranch.”
His lips pressed together. Finally, he agreed. “Probably a good idea. Let’s find them, then.”
They tried to ease into the crowd, but a stroller cut Rachel off, and she waited for it to pass. Hunter had paused to wait for her, and when she caught up, he snagged her hand and started walking again. He had a habit of doing that—always without permission—and she told herself it didn’t mean anything. Usually he just wanted to direct her somewhere she didn’t want to go, and it was his way of getting her there.
Tonight, he was simply making sure they stuck together in the crowd. But it didn’t feel simple. And all of the other times he’d touched her or clasped her hand hadn’t, either. His skin was warm and calloused—who knew she’d ever consider that an attractive quality?—and right at home against hers.
Somehow she needed to silence the teenager inside of her who clamored for one more kiss. The one who wanted to pretend she wasn’t moving.
Who didn’t care how much she got hurt.
If ever there was a night for Rachel to be mature, to cling to her last thread of dignity, this was it.
They caught up to Cash and Liv. Her brother had one hand linked with Grayson’s, the other full of blankets and supplies. Liv held Ryder, who looked sleepy despite the recent noise level.
Cash greeted them. “You riding with us, Rach?”
“Yep.” She turned to Hunter. “Thanks. I’ll see you...tomorrow? At church?”
His head hitched in response, and then he was gone, disappearing with long strides into the crowd. Rachel took the blanket and diaper backpack from her brother. He scooped Gray onto his shoulders, and the four of them made their way to the car.
The whole walk, the whole ride home, Rachel told herself she’d made the right choice. Saying no to Hunter’s offer to drive her was the smart thing to do. What would be the point of starting something now? It would never work between them. She was moving to a job she wanted in a town that offered so much more than this one, and she still had something to prove—if not to the people here, then to herself. And Hunter would always live here. His whole life revolved around ranching.
Even if the organ in her chest was barely beating from all of the abuse, she’d made the right choice.
* * *
It took Hunter forever and a day to get to his truck, and by then, the traffic was at a standstill. Now he was almost home. Finally.
He’d managed, somehow, to keep from kissing Rachel today. From telling her how he felt about her. But he was hanging by a thread. Hunter had no idea how he would survive tomorrow night at the going-away dinner Cash and Olivia were hosting. Or saying goodbye to Rachel on Monday morning.
No clue.
Loving her was a fire he couldn’t extinguish. And he didn’t want to—even if she was going to leave him.
It was a good thing Rachel had gone home with her brother. Hunter didn’t have any resolve left when it came to her. Overnight, he’d shore up again.
Somehow.
He pulled up to his house, concern slithering through him at the sight of Rachel�
�s Jeep. Was something wrong? He turned off the truck and got out, slamming the door. The sound reverberated in the otherwise quiet night.
Rachel had been sitting on his front steps, and now she stood. Her feet were bare, the strappy heeled sandals she’d worn earlier retired for the evening or, knowing her, left on the floor of the Jeep. She still had on the sundress that had messed with his mind all day. She looked gorgeous in it. But then, she looked amazing in anything.
With every step she took toward him, he fought two emotions—need and fear.
Once she reached him, she paused, mere inches separating him from everything he wanted and couldn’t have.
The shyest look crossed her face. As if she’d come all this way and now couldn’t say what she needed to.
“You okay?”
She nodded. “I just...” She shrugged in a helpless gesture, lips pressed together as if stemming her next words.
Before he could think, his hands were on her shoulders. Their gazes melded, tenderness passing between them. “Rach, tell me you don’t want me to kiss you.”
“I don’t want you to kiss me.” Not one part of him trusted her response.
For the first time all day, he let his guard down. “I don’t believe you.”
Her mouth barely had time to reach for a smile before his lips met hers. The pain of knowing he was losing her again wrapped into their kiss, and time and space stood still.
Her lips were sweet and soft, and he was afraid he’d never let her go.
Easing back, he rested his forehead against hers.
“This is a stupid idea.”
Her face broke into the kind of smile that held a secret. That could light up the night sky with electricity. “I know. It’s idiotic. I’m sorry I came over.”
“I’m not.”
At his answer, he saw something in her shift. Soften. She propped her bare feet on the top of his boots, wrapped her arms around his neck and held on. He squeezed her close, nose buried in her fragrant hair.
When their lips met again, there was no hesitation in her kiss. She was all his, even if it was only for a moment.
He’d never loved her more.
Chapter Fourteen
“Give me that.” Val snatched the veggie tray from Rachel’s hand. “This is your going-away party. You’re not supposed to be helping.”
It wasn’t exactly a party. More of a dinner. Olivia and Cash were hosting, and Lucy and Graham were in attendance along with their girls, Val and Brennon and Connor, plus Hunter. It was a madhouse, but it was the best possible kind. Rachel had spent most of the evening trying not to cry. She’d gotten everything she’d worked for, so why was this so hard? It was nothing like the last time she’d left. Colorado had been so far. Now she’d be much closer—a four-hour drive away. She could come back for a weekend easily.
But that wasn’t making her feel better.
She was moving tomorrow, and last night she’d been kissing Hunter like she never planned to leave.
“What’s going on?” Val set the tray on the table, studying Rachel much like she’d done with her chemistry homework in high school while the two of them were supposed to be working and Rachel had done anything but. They’d been friends long enough that Rachel knew better than to try to hide from her.
“I’m moving.”
“Uh-huh. We’ve known that for a while. Tell me what’s changed.”
“Hunter.”
People filled the first floor of the house, but between the loud conversations and wild kids, Rachel felt confident no one would overhear their hushed conversation in the corner near the dining room table.
“Oh.” Her friend’s face held a hint of amused I knew it with a side of concern. “He pulled you in, did he?”
Moisture pooled in Rachel’s eyes. “It hurts that I’m moving away. I’m going to miss all of you.”
“But especially him.” Val’s tone held no malice. “Do you...have you thought about the job? Do you still—”
“Want it?” Rachel’s voice escalated with panic, and she dialed her volume back to a two. “Yes, I do.” She was a mess. She’d never been so torn about anything in all of her life. Except maybe the last time she’d left. This ranked right up close to that experience. “What is wrong with me that I still do?”
“Nothing.” Val’s loose brown curls shook, her tone brooking no argument. “There’s nothing wrong with you or your aspirations. I’m guessing you want to stay with him, too.”
Fingers seeking the familiar comfort of her gold R necklace, Rachel slid the pendant back and forth on the chain. “It scares me, but I think so.” Her mind spun at the truth she’d been avoiding. “But what can I do about that? How’s that going to work? Part of me wonders if I’ll ever forgive myself for giving Hunter up again. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I do about him. I told him we shouldn’t get involved. I tried to stay away. To keep my distance.” She paused and waited for Grayson and Lola to swing around the table and grab handfuls of pretzels before quietly continuing. “But it didn’t work. Now what do I do?”
Compassion radiated from Val. “Oh, honey. I think you need to talk to him.”
“But I don’t want to,” Rachel wailed with a childish flair, making them laugh, though hers was mournful. “I’m not sure what he’s thinking, and I’m afraid to find out.” Did he care about her as more than a friend? Was what they had real? Or just a mistake?
“The two of you didn’t discuss any of this after your smoochy-smoochy last night?” Val made a tsk-ing sound. “Kids these days.”
“You and I are the same age!” Despite her misery, Rachel laughed. “And to answer your question, no we didn’t. I just...left. I wasn’t sure what to say. If it was just a goodbye, I’ll always care about you kind of moment or something more. I needed time to process. But I’m realizing that I’m not okay with losing him again.”
“Talk. To. Him.” Huh. Val’s counsel sounded strangely similar to what Rachel had advised Bree to do. But it was a whole lot easier to dole out than to follow.
“And say what?”
Baby Senna gave a disgruntled cry, and the voices in the room quieted for a second. Val waited, then continued once the hum of other conversations resumed. “Only you know the answer to that.”
“I want it all.” The selfish truth rolled from her tongue. “The job and him.”
“Then tell him that.”
“I can’t. How will that help anything? How would that scenario ever work?”
“You’ll be four hours away. Not impossible that you could date long-distance.”
Rachel had thought about that option during her restless night. But to what end? Hunter belonged here—and although this life had grown on her over the summer and she was going to miss it, she still wasn’t sure it was a fit for her. If she didn’t go to Houston, she’d always wonder. She’d never know for sure.
Either way, Val was right. Rachel had to hash this out with him.
She grabbed a brownie from the table and took a bite, letting the sweet cocoa do its best to ease her tension. What would she do without Val in her life? They’d been friends a long time. Val knew all of her worst parts and loved her, anyway. She was the sweet to Rachel’s sass. The two of them had always made a good team.
“I’m not sure you deserve the credit for that solution. Technically, I came up with what I need to say. You just listened while I processed.”
“Whatever.” Val tossed a baby carrot at Rachel. It bounced off the top portion of her black maxi dress and landed on the floor, making them giggle like they had so often back in their younger days. “Even counselors need a listening ear and some advice once in a while.” Her friend’s smile turned down at the edges, sadness seeping in. “And in case you’re wondering, I’m going to miss you, too.”
* * *
“Did you get two pieces of cake?
”
Grayson stood before Hunter, hands on his hips. He looked far more foreboding than any four-year-old should.
Hunter wasn’t sure whether to tell him the truth or fudge, so he went for evasive. “Did you?”
“No. Mama said I couldn’t have more than one. She said the sugars make me hyper.” His nose wrinkled. “I don’t know what that means but I don’t like it.”
“That’s rough.”
“I wanted Auntie Rachel to get a bug cake, so she picked a ladybug one for me. Still girly, but at least she tried.”
“That was nice of her.”
“Yup. Auntie Rach is the best.”
Hunter agreed.
“Hey, are you two talking about me?” Rachel came from behind Hunter, joining the two of them.
He winked at Grayson. “We were discussing guy stuff.”
The boy’s mouth curved. “You wouldn’t understand, Auntie Rachel.”
She scoffed, then grabbed him up in a hug while he squealed and squirmed. “Hey, your mom says it’s time for bed. Story time? It’s our last night.”
Rachel looked as though she was fighting back emotion. Grayson nodded, not seeming to notice his aunt’s upset, and the two of them took off upstairs.
Cash was putting Ryder down, and Olivia had walked the other guests outside a few minutes ago. The front window framed the group still talking by their vehicles. Hunter had picked up Rachel on his way over, so he made himself useful and started clearing the table while he waited for her.
He’d just deposited a platter of veggies in the fridge when Olivia came back in.
“Hunter, you really don’t need to do that.”
“I don’t mind.” She took him at his word, which he appreciated, and the two of them worked quickly. By the time he heard Rachel’s footsteps on the stairs, they’d made a huge dent in the cleanup.
“Gray’s down. I’m not sure if he’ll sleep, though. He’s all ramped up from running around with the kids. Cash is going to try reading him one more book to see if it helps.”