by Em Petrova
He should be fucking elated that he’d found the woman he wanted to spend his life with, so why was it so damn hard?
* * * * *
Carissa strolled alongside an old friend she’d been in the nursing program with. They chattered about mutual friends and finally got on topic of what her friend had been up to since she no longer had a job.
She waved a hand. “Living like the rest of the island. I hear you’re still nursing, though, and I’m happy for you.”
“If another clinic ever comes in, will you go back to work?” Carissa asked.
Her friend’s eyes were bright. “Yes. I miss it.”
A steady drizzle fell on them, but neither cared about the wetness seeping into their hair or the shoulders of their tops. They rounded a corner and Carissa slowed her steps at the sight of the crowd. “What is happening? It’s too busy for such a rainy day.”
The town square was packed with people, all appeared to be gathered around something.
“Oh, I see my sister.” Her friend leaned in to peck Carissa’s cheek. “I’ll see you soon. Let’s not wait so long to get in touch.”
Carissa kissed her back and gave her a brief embrace, her attention fixed on the crowd. Shouts were coming back at her, and she made them out.
“Caída de suministro!”
Carissa stopped in her tracks. Supply drop?
She ran up and pushed her way through the bodies until she could see a truck with a huge wooden crate in the back. The driver had his window down, telling them to stand back and form a line so he could distribute the goods. When supplies ran out, another truck was coming and they should wait for it.
Carissa smashed a hand over her thumping heart. After such struggle, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
Then she really couldn’t believe it.
Her heart stuttered as Roades shouldered his way to the truck. The driver caught sight of him and a grin lit his face. He opened the door and jumped down. The pair thumped each other’s backs in a man-hug.
Blinking in shock, Carissa was jostled side to side by others trying to get close to the truck. She stood in the middle of the sea, her gaze latched onto Roades.
She hadn’t seen him in a few days—he hadn’t even slept at her house. And she’d believed it was over between them for good. Now that old love surged upward and fountained out, overflowing in her veins.
She could try to convince herself she didn’t need him in her life, but fact was, she wanted him. This good man who’d obviously had something to do with a shipment of goods to her island had burrowed into her heart long ago and now he’d taken up every corner there. Evicting him was impossible.
She went on tiptoe, and since he was so tall, she easily made out his profile. He spoke animatedly with the driver.
“Roades!” she called out.
He looked around but didn’t immediately set eyes on her. He searched the crowd until she jumped and waved.
He pushed through the crowd and came to her, grabbing her arm and leading her back to the driver. The man was shockingly handsome with a rogue’s dark skin and blacker eyes than she’d ever seen, which was saying something with her heritage.
The man let his gaze skip over her face, and something about the intensity sent heat to her cheeks. She introduced herself, and he gave his name, but she missed it as he caught her fingers and brushed his warm lips across them.
His words were also swallowed in the deep, rumbling growl that emerged from Roades.
Roades wrapped an arm around her, yanking her against his side and forcing the man to drop her hand. “This is my fiancée,” he said boldly, staring the man in the eyes.
Carissa stifled a gasp. Once, she had been, but no more. Why was he saying this? Just because another man showed obvious interest in her?
“Congratulations to the happy couple, then.” The man gave a slow nod of his head out of respect while Roades held onto her, his fingers close to the side of her breast, making her so aware of him it was starting to consume her.
“Thanks again for doing this, amigo,” Roades said.
Carissa listened for another second, gathering more information from their conversation than anything Roades had said to her in weeks. He’d pulled some strings, gotten more people to rally support and had half a million dollars’ worth of food and supplies entering the island.
She tried to hold it back, but the knot in her throat broke free and tears bubbled up and overflowed the rims of her eyes.
The driver noticed and said something to Roades about his fiancée leaking, which made him laugh. He bundled Carissa back through the crowd and some distance away to a ruined wall that once had supported beautiful vines. Now the tropical heat and lack of care had made the vines run rampant and the wall was no longer visible.
Roades took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Why are you crying?”
“I…” She waved a hand back at the crowd, who was now getting their portions of the shipment. “I can’t believe this. How did you do it?” Tears rolled faster.
“Oh mon coeur.” He palmed the back of her head, drawing her face against his broad, comforting chest. He rubbed her back in little circles that both warmed her and sent tingles of need shooting downward. “Are you upset with me?”
She pushed back to look at his face. “Are you kidding? I’m overwhelmed by your generosity, Roades.”
He chuckled. “It’s not my money, but I guess if it means you look at me the way you’re looking at me, I’ll take it.”
She slapped at his arm. “How did you do it?”
“A few calls set things into motion.” His expression darkened for a second, making her think there was more to the story, but she wasn’t going to push right now, when they had so much to discuss.
Namely, him calling her his fiancée.
“Why did you tell that driver we’re engaged?”
He stared at her for a long heartbeat and then snapped his mouth shut.
“Roades? Explain.”
“You were my fiancée once, and I guess it just slipped out.”
She tilted her head. “I’m not buying that. You were jealous of the way he looked at me.”
“Hell yeah,” he said in a rush of heat as if he’d been holding it back for too long. “He needs to check himself before I do it for him.”
“You haven’t been back to the house in days.”
He rolled with the topic change. “I’ve been taking care of things.”
She arched a brow. “Hernan?”
“Carissa, about Hernan. We need to talk. He can’t go on, and you can’t expect me to stand by and watch it happen. I know where he’s at—I’ve been keeping an eye on him and… making sure he doesn’t leave the area, we’ll say.”
She almost choked on her tongue. “I don’t expect you to do nothing! It’s why I called you.”
“Yes, but you don’t want me to get physical with him, do you?”
“No,” she said at once.
“Well, I can’t just have a heart-to-heart with the kid anymore. He’s unwilling to listen, in case you didn’t notice. And the only way to get through a thick skull like that is to…” He broke off.
“To knock him around?”
He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “Look, I think I have a way worked out to make it stop, but you’ll need to trust me and don’t ask questions.”
Could she do that? He was used to taking charge and only answering to the government for his actions. But this was her brother they were talking about.
He took hold of her shoulders again, looking deep in her eyes. “Carissa, you have to trust me. All right?”
She nodded but she didn’t know if she could let things go down and not intervene. She loved them both, wanted the easy route.
She lifted a hand to wipe away the wetness from her eyes. “I need to think for a bit, Roades. I…” She looked back to the crowd, where another truck had rolled up. Her throat tightened again. “Thank you for this.”
&nb
sp; She turned and started walking, hurrying her footsteps to carry her away from him, to gain distance to think about all that had transpired today. Her emotions were rioting and skipping between the happiness he’d brought to her town to her brother hiding out trying to evade Roades, who was just waiting for her to give him the order to stop Hernan.
All these thoughts kept her on edge—except one. The one where Roades called her his fiancée.
That one melted her heart.
Chapter Nine
First thing Carissa always did after being away from home was check the clinic. Often patients would sit outside on the step and wait for her to return. But this time, someone had walked right inside.
The door hung open, and as she neared, she zeroed in on the lock, which had been forced.
Heart thumping, she stopped in her tracks. Anybody breaking into her clinic would only do so for the drugs she kept there, and that would make them dangerous.
She pressed a palm over her chest to quiet her heart, but it did no good. She listened hard but heard no thumping coming from inside the clinic as someone shifted crates or opened cupboards.
Feeling weak-kneed but determined, she stepped inside.
The place had been ransacked, the contents of the cupboards spilling out onto the floor, many things smashed. One look at the storage closet told her that her entire stash of narcotics had been stolen.
She stumbled back and caught the edge of a counter, gripping it for support. She had nothing left to trade, no way of getting anything she needed and once the supplies she could salvage ran out, her days of treating patients would be finished.
A tear leaked down her cheek, already so close to the surface after what had happened back in the town square with Roades.
She pushed off the counter and flung back the storage room door. Sure enough, the space was empty. Only a roll of gauze lay on the floor, dirty with a boot print.
Hopelessness swallowed her. Despair followed.
She sat down hard on the floor and drew her legs up to her chest, hugging her knees as she looked at the four bare walls. It didn’t surprise her that somebody had finally broken in and stolen what she stored here. But the real question rolling around in her mind was who.
Any number of thugs who worked with Angel.
Angel himself.
Or even Hernan.
Her brother would see it as family rights. Anger hit her full force. Her fingers twitched toward the phone she carried. One call to Roades and he’d take necessary steps to stop her brother. But was she ready for that outcome? She couldn’t live with herself knowing her brother had been hurt—or worse—at her command.
She rose to her feet and closed the storage room door. The wood hung crookedly on its hinges, and it popped back open, swinging.
She turned away and left the clinic, not bothering to lock the door. If anybody wanted to sort through the destruction there, more power to them.
Maybe it was time to call it quits here in Puerto Rico. She could make a go of it Stateside, and she heard nurses were in high demand there. She could easily find work, get an apartment. Start over.
What was holding her here anyway? Not family. She loved Hernan but would not stand around waiting for someone to kill him for the wrongs he’d done. And she adored Mari, but her cousin had her own life.
Moving to the US would put me closer to Roades too.
Now the tears really flowed.
He was a good man—and the only one she’d wanted then or now. The only obstacle had been his family and their age. Now would they have objections to him marrying her?
She had no answers to the questions burning in her brain, so she made a pot of tea and sat at the table in a ring of sunlight, sipping, and alone with her thoughts.
* * * * *
Roades was pretty damn sick of this town and all the crap it brought with it. He’d like nothing more than to carry Carissa into waiting transport and whisk her out of here. But since he didn’t think she’d like it that much, he’d done his best to make her world a better place.
The supplies were a start, and there was more help on the way. But all these things were worthless with people like Hernan on the streets.
Which circled Roades back to his big dilemma—how to handle Hernan and still get the girl.
Because he wasn’t giving up on Carissa again. This time, when he left the island, he’d do it with her by his side.
At least he fucking hoped.
His plan was to corner Hernan and lure him into a fight. Only kicking his ass and having enough hurt to break through the haze of bullshit in Hernan’s mind would stop him.
At least that had been what Roades thought. Now he wasn’t so damn sure.
He ran his fingers through his hair and released a sigh. He should have talked to her about his intentions rather than pushing her to make decisions about how he handled Hernan. Dammit, would he ever stop messing up when it came to Carissa? He fucking loved her, didn’t want to go on living without her, yet when was he going to get his shit together and bring it all into one prettily-tied bow?
Looking over the town, one would see bright-colored homes and lush greenery growing rapidly in the tropical heat, overtaking the areas that were no longer inhabited. Just a few weeks on the island had shown Roades differences. The morale had begun to change since his arrival. After losing everything, these people had fought back and were gaining ground by the day. Making headway in the cleanup efforts and finding ways to make life work again.
Areas were already being restored with electric and clean water. When those efforts reached this town, what could Hernan possibly do but stop extorting money from his people? He’d need to move on to some other pursuit.
That was the issue. Hernan would forever be in trouble, it seemed. Roades had heard of it before—people who just couldn’t straighten up despite knowing it was morally wrong of them. A deep-seated need for power or money was a driving force, and he suspected the same in Hernan.
Eventually, the guy would end up dead at the hands of somebody he crossed. Or in prison. Either way, Carissa would be left to pick up the pieces of her life and move on without him, just as she had her parents.
Roades had to convince her to come with him. He had money saved, enough for a down-payment for a house. Hell, he could get his maman on the job and have a place for them to live by the time they got off this island.
His family would accept her, see nothing to stop them from the love that had kindled long ago. He had to make this happen—he needed to know Carissa was safe and cared for, especially once he was back with Knight Ops.
Again, it circled back to his life’s work. Could she handle being the wife of a man like him, as Ben had said on the phone?
When his phone rang, he didn’t acknowledge it at first, he was so caught up in the wild beauty of the view and his thoughts. He brought the phone to his ear.
“Roades here.”
“Dude, you’re back!” His brother, Chaz, practically yelled into his ear.
Roades held his cell out to keep from being deafened and let the words sink in.
“Back?”
“Back on the team. Jackson was looking for you this morning to tell you himself, but he can’t find you. Now get your ass back here so we can do some fishin’ before the next mission.”
“That’s great.” Why didn’t he sound excited? It was all he’d wanted since the moment Jackson put him on probation.
“Need me to send Cohen back to pick you up? We can have you home by tomorrow morning.”
“Um. About that. I need some time to wrap up something I’ve got going here.”
“Carissa? Bring her home with you, man. She’s welcome. You know our parents don’t give a damn who you love now that you’re not seventeen.”
His chest burned with happiness and yet he had a heavy heart. “It’s not Carissa. I’ve got something to do first. And I’m not sure about Carissa.”
“That’s cool. You were seeing that old friend from high
school—”
He cut Chaz off. “I don’t want to date anybody.” He wanted to marry somebody. He just had some shit to work out before he could think about asking.
“Bachelor it is,” Chaz said. His brother was forever a playboy and viewed women as a personal conquest.
“Dude, this isn’t about women. I’m doing some good here, and there’s something I need to handle before I come back. I hope I’m there in time for the Knight Ops, but if not…”
The line went silent as if Chaz didn’t know what to say. Finally, he spoke. “I get it. Well, I don’t know what’s going on. But I know how it feels to be torn between life and the team. Just know we’ve got your back, okay?”
The knot in his chest loosened a bit, and he was able to breathe. “Thanks, man. Guts and glory.”
“Guts and glory.” Chaz rang off, leaving Roades more conflicted than he’d been five minutes before. But it took all of thirty seconds for him to formulate a plan—he’d always been able to think under pressure. He pocketed his phone and turned from the view.
His plan was to take care of Hernan the way Knight Ops had taught him to. The good of the people came first.
Then he was taking care of Carissa. Getting on his knees and begging her to come back to Louisiana with him, if need be. Because she belonged with him.
His strides were long as he set off into the barrio where he knew Hernan had been hiding. The slum area was one of the worst Roades had seen, and it practically reeked of desperation.
Well, he’d do his best to help anybody he came across, unless it was Carissa’s brother. Then the kid was having a coming-to-Jesus moment.
“Oye, senor!”
He turned at the child’s voice. Sitting on a curb was a little boy with a scrappy-looking dog next to him. The dog had a chew mark on its ear, as if it’d been in a recent fight. The boy was just as skinny with bruises on his shins.
Roades approached them slowly, so as not to frighten them. He spoke to the boy softly in his native tongue, learning the dog’s name and if the child was going to school. He wasn’t, which didn’t surprise Roades but saddened him. The kid looked to be bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders, when he should be out riding his bike and playing stickball with friends.