"How's she doing?" Kate asked.
"Okay, I guess," I said. "She never talks about it."
"How's she doing with the responsibility of being the only one working?"
"She's really stepped up," I said. "I can see that she's changed and matured a lot, but then again, she doesn't really have a choice."
"Do you think that God could be using this time of you being sick to show the both of you that she is capable of making it on her own?"
My first instinct was to be offended by her question. Something about it rubbed me the wrong way.
"That's pretty extreme measures for God to go to just to teach us a lesson, don't you think?" I asked, thinking about the pain I'd been in for two months.
She gave me a caring smile. "I'm not saying that's what's going on here, sweetheart. But we don't always understand God's ways. All I know is that He is good, and that He can use even the worst of circumstances to bring good in our lives."
"I think these qualify as the worst circumstances," I said, smiling a little. I bit my lip shyly and shook my head. "I'm sorry I unloaded on you," I said. "I probably shouldn't have said that about people with cancer. I'm not usually a drama queen. In spite of how I sound right now, I really do try to be a positive person."
"I don't think you're being dramatic at all," she said. "You've been through a lot. I can imagine how frustrating it must be."
"Thank you for listening," I said. "It might sound weird, but it helps just to hear you say that I've been through a lot when I'm used to doctors treating me like I'm making stuff up."
"Well, I'm no doctor, but I can see in you're face that you're not making anything up. You've been through a lot."
I gave her a relieved smile. "I didn’t mean to come across as hopeless," I said, trying to backpedal a little bit. "You just caught me on a bad morning. It's already getting better than it was at one point, and I do have hope that I'll get past this one day."
"I truly believe that," she said.
She was only there for a few more minutes. She asked if she could pray for me, and I agreed.
Her prayer was short and sincere. She asked God to ultimately bring full healing to my body, but to bring me comfort and peace in the meantime. She prayed that this ordeal and my life in general be used for His glory. Tears rolled down my cheeks the whole time, and afterward I told her how thankful I was that she'd taken time out of her day to stop by and bring me food.
I walked her to the door thinking that after she left I'd go to the fridge and make myself a ham sandwich.
She'd already taken a step down the stairs and I was in the process of closing the door when she turned back and said, "Hey, do you mind if I tell Zack?"
I gave her a look that reflected my confusion. "I guess so," I said.
She didn't elaborate on what details she wanted to give him or why, and at that moment I was too confused and disoriented by the question to ask.
"Thanks," she said with a smile. She turned and started down the stairs. I came really close to yelling at her to ask about what and why she wanted to tell her son, but she was gone before I knew it.
Chapter 11
Lexi got home at 2 that day, and was thrilled to find all that food in the fridge.
"Kate Martin," I said. "You remember, the lady who brought me to the hospital that first time."
"You mean the one from the church?" she asked with a mouth full of ham sandwich. I could tell by her face that she was as confused to hear that Kate brought the food as I was when she had first called earlier that day.
I shrugged. "She said Peter told her I was still sick," I said. "I think it's because she's with the church. I think it's their job to be nice to sick people and stuff."
Lexi laughed as she loaded her fork with mac and cheese. She held it in front of her mouth, but didn’t take the bite. "So she just brought food over, no strings attached? She didn't make you sign up for Bible study or become a member of that church or anything?"
"No strings," I said. "She was really sweet."
"That's so random," Lexi said, chewing that mac and cheese and shaking her head as if she still couldn't understand the out-of-nowhere gift.
"Hey Lex?" I said. "Do you think it's a positive thing that I've had to leave you alone with how sick I've been? You know—not worry about you so much."
She looked at me like she didn't quite know how to respond to the question, but said, "I mean, obviously it's not a good thing that you've been so sick, but I guess it sort of proves to you that I'm not gonna do anything stupid just because you're not there taking care of me all the time."
"I was never worried about you doing something stupid, Lex. It's other people I worry about."
"Why'd you ask me that question?" she asked.
I almost told her that Kate brought it up as a way of showing me there could be a silver lining to all this, but I remembered at the last second that it would clue Lexi in on the fact that I told Kate about the rape.
I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I was just trying to look for something positive in all this."
"I'm positive that it sucks that you've been sick for so long," she said laughing. "I'm just kidding, sister. I don't think it's a bad thing that I've had to grow up a little."
"You've done so much," I said, smiling at her. "I know I don't tell you enough, but I'm really thankful for everything you're doing and I'm proud of you."
"Aw, shucks!" she said, reaching out to fake a punch at my jaw.
"Seriously sister, no matter what happens with this whole San Francisco thing, you've been a superstar."
She pinned me with an impassive expression. I knew what she was thinking. We had this conversation the other day, and Lexi was convinced that I would get better and we could make it here.
"We're not going back to Washington," she said with conviction. "This isn't gonna last forever, Laney, and when it's over, you're gonna be a famous glass artist." She smiled. "And I'm gonna marry one of the San Francisco Giants."
"I thought you wanted a 49er," I said.
She shook her head. "I think baseball's better. Football's too dangerous."
I smiled at her even though a wave of nausea had suddenly washed over me. "What time do you have to be back at work?" I asked, intentionally changing the subject from how everything was gonna be all right. I knew she was working a double today and would be headed back to Miller's soon. "Not till six," she said. "Gabby and Trina were both asking about you today. You should really try to go in and see everybody sometime when you're feeling up to it. They always want to know how you're doing and when you'll be back."
I just smiled like I'd have to do that some time, trying not to show her how hopeless I was feeling.
I stretched out in bed for the next two hours while the wave of symptoms passed. By 5, I felt slightly better and went into the living room to watch some TV with Lexi. It was a rerun of Family Feud and we sat next to each other yelling out answers to questions and talking about how we'd definitely win the money if we went on there. I was sure we both knew we couldn't go on since you needed five family members to play and all we had was each other, but neither of us mentioned that.
I always referred to my symptoms as "the grip" because instead of listing all the individual ailments, I just grouped them all together and said it felt like something was gripping me. Anyway, as I sat there on the couch watching Family Feud with Lexi, I enjoyed a moment of feeling like the grip had loosened somewhat.
I was smiling and feeling somewhat human when my phone rang. It was another number I didn't recognize, and I picked it up without even considering who it could be.
"Hello?"
"Is this Laney?" a guy's voice said.
"Yes." It dawned on me that I might just know who it was, and nervous jitters washed over me. It couldn’t be Zack Martin, could it?
"This is Zack Martin," he said.
An uncontrollable smile spread over my face and Lexi made an expression asking me who in the world it was.
"I was wondering if I could stop by."
"What?" I asked. I cleared my throat. "Why?"
I could hear the laughter in his voice. "To see you. I heard you were sick and I just wanted to stop by if that's okay."
I cleared my throat again, but mostly just to buy time. I couldn’t possibly entertain Zack Martin. "The grip" was loose, sure, but that didn't mean I felt like putting on makeup or even showering for that matter.
"You're mom came by today," I said. "She brought food."
Lexi heard me say that and her eyes grew huge as she put the pieces together. Her mouth hung open and I had to look away from her to keep from laughing.
"I know she came by," he said. "That's why I wanted to do the same. She told me where you live. I'll be there in about an hour. Will you be home?"
I should have told him I wouldn’t, but I couldn't think straight. "Yeah, I guess," I said doubtfully.
"Good," he said. "I'll see you in a bit."
"What was that all about?" Lexi asked the second I disconnected. Her eyes were still about to bulge out of her head, which made me giggle.
"That was Kate's son."
"I know that. I heard you talking to him, but what did he want?"
"He's coming over here."
"For what?"
I shook my head. "I have no idea."
I took a shower, but I didn't have the energy or desire to put on makeup or do anything with my hair. I left it hanging over my shoulders in loose waves so it could dry naturally.
Lexi was extremely curious about the eight millionaire as she called him, and waited till the last second to leave for work. She was supposed to be there at six, and it was ten till when she headed out reluctantly. She was on her way out when Zack showed up. The TV was on, but we both still heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. She opened the door and watched as he came into view. I remained on the couch, watching as she tried not to react to his strikingly good looks.
Lexi was a beautiful girl, and I was sure Zack would notice, but I'd never been jealous of my little sister, and I wasn't going to start now. It helped that I knew I'd never have a chance with someone like him.
They introduced themselves and she said she was just on her way out the door. She stepped back to let him come in, and when he did, she made a face behind his back and mouthed some words. I assumed it was some exclamation about how hot he was, but I didn't really pay attention to reading her lips because I knew it would make me laugh.
"Bye sister," she said out loud as she walked out the door. "Bye Zack. It was nice meeting you."
We both told Lexi goodbye and seconds later, the door closed and we heard her footsteps going down the stairs. I stood up to greet him with a cautious but friendly expression. He was wearing jeans and a fitted t-shirt. It was extremely flattering, although I couldn't imagine anything looking bad on him. He had a broad chest and was obviously very fit.
"Hello," I said, shaking his hand.
He took my hand and used it to pull me into his arms. It was a warm, friendly greeting that wasn't awkward at all in spite of the fact that I'd never been much of a hugger.
"Mom said you've had a rough time," he said. He let me go quickly and I glanced up at him to see a caring smile. He walked over to my couch and asked, "Mind if I sit down," even as he was already in the process of sitting.
I came to sit beside him.
"I guess you're wondering why I’m here," he said, getting right to the point.
"It crossed my mind to wonder that," I said smiling.
He turned and regarded me. He seemed like he was looking for the right words to begin. "I sold an internet company a while back," he said. He paused and I thought he was done.
"I heard something about that," I said.
"I invested most of that money and I've been blessed with my investments," he said.
I nodded and smiled. "That's great."
He sighed again and even in my sick state, I couldn't help but take in the curves of his gorgeous face. He had a handsome, rugged face with full lips and a strong jaw. I let my eye roam over it, but only for a second before switching my focus to some neutral ground in the form of his knee.
"I'll just get to the point," he said. He leaned onto one side and pulled a piece of paper out of the pocket of his jeans. He held it out for me to take. I could tell by the size and shape of it that it was a check, but before I could open it, he said, "I want to help out with your medical expenses."
My eyes stung with tears the second he said it. My emotions were already on edge, and mention of the overwhelming medical expenses had me ready to cry.
"No," I said, shaking my head and trying to hand it back to him. "I can't."
He pushed my hand away. "This isn't for the medical stuff. It's just to help out a little since you haven't been working. I want you to get the bills over to me when they come in, and I'll make sure they get paid."
I shook my head, but was unable to say the words to deny him, because I couldn't speak past the bubble that had formed in my throat. A silent tear fell onto my cheek, and I used the back of my hand to quickly wipe at it before he could see.
"I really can't—" I said, trying to sound composed.
He wrapped an arm around me in a comforting gesture. "Mom said you'd probably refuse, but I promised her I wouldn't let you."
I was so overwhelmed that I just rested my face on his shoulder. I wiped at my cheeks again and took a deep breath. "I don't know what your mom told you, but I'm fine," I said, not looking at him when I spoke.
He had an arm around my shoulder and gave me a little rub. "I was looking for something to spend some money on, and she said she thought you could use a little, that's all. She did me a favor." He patted my shoulder again. "If I don't give it to you, I'll end up wasting it. Please save me from that."
I let out a laugh. "That's not true and we both know it." I sat up and looked at him, holding out the check for him to take back. "Listen, I can't do this. It's really sweet for you to offer, but I already feel terrible about taking that food from your mom today. You guys really can't just come over here and give me things. I don’t even know you."
After a few long seconds of silence, he said, "Don't you think it's good for one human to help another human if it's within his means?"
I didn't respond.
"Don't you think it would make me feel good to use a tiny piece of what I have to help someone?"
I shrugged and he nodded.
"It would make me feel good," he said. "And if you don't let me do it, you're taking that pleasure from me."
I looked up at him, and he smiled. "So, now that you see it's for selfish reasons that I help you, maybe you can do me a favor and just take this without arguing."
I let my hand fall to my lap cautiously, and regarded him with a skeptical expression. "Did you somehow just turn this around where I'll feel bad if I don't take this money?"
He smiled. "I hope so."
I stared at his smile wondering if there had ever in the history of the universe been a more beautiful one created. I doubted it.
"It's really not that much," he said gesturing to it. "It's just enough to help out a little bit while you recover. What I'm really concerned with is making sure you agree to send me the bills when they start to roll in. That's the real reason I came. Mom said you had several trips to the hospital. She told me about it and I decided I'd love to help."
I thought about all the scans and tests I had—the ones that had done me no good. I couldn't imagine how much those bills were going to be. I sighed and shook my head. "I can't," I said.
"You really can," he said, smiling and nodding. "Remember what I said about stealing my pleasure if you don't let me do this?"
"You're impossible!" I said.
He looked at the ceiling as if he was relieved. "I'm so glad we established that. You're a smart girl for figuring it out t
his early." He shifted to sit on the edge of the couch and extended a hand for me to shake. "So, it's a deal?"
I shook his hand reluctantly, and just like that, he stood up. "Okay, so I'll give you a call in the next few days to check on you and see how things are doing," he said.
Before I knew it, Zack was gone and I was left holding a check—a check for five thousand dollars.
Chapter 12
I was sleeping when Lexi got off work so I didn't tell her about Zack's visit till the next morning. It was the nature of the illness I was experiencing to make it seem like I was in a dream-like state most of the time, and when I woke up and thought about him coming by and leaving that check, I couldn't really believe it myself.
It was a Tuesday when he came by and the rest of the week passed in a blur. Lexi had a busy week at work and the only night she was off, she ended up hanging out with a friend. She asked if I wanted company, but I was fine being left alone.
I had good moments and bad, but the days just sort of jumbled together, and before I knew it, the weekend was there.
It was now Saturday morning and Lexi was sleeping soundly, so rather than hang out in the apartment, I went outside to get some fresh air. Ken and Kathy had gorgeous flowerbeds along the front of the house that they tended to regularly, but the one along side the garage was sometimes forgotten, and I took pleasure in pulling weeds. Kathy noticed me doing it a few weeks before, and went out of her way to thank me, so it was something I now did regularly. I enjoyed the feel of dirt under my nails, and it was nice to think I'd actually accomplished something at a time when I was too sick to do anything else.
I was at the backside of the flowerbed when I heard a car pull into the driveway. I assumed it was Ken or Kathy, so I didn't bother standing up to look. A few seconds later, I heard the car door close and the sound of footsteps going up the iron steps toward my apartment. I couldn't see the steps from where I was, and curiosity got the best of me, so I went to check it out.
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