The guy reached up and picked something from her hair and I saw red at the thought of his hands touching her. It took everything I had in me to stay on the stage and keep playing. She leaned forward to say something to him and bits of her cleavage became visible. Patience wasn’t the kind of girl to do something like that on purpose, although I knew girls who did. I’d been around women enough to know when they were obviously bending over just right to show some tit, but not Patience. She was smiling innocently back at him and had no idea the fucker was ogling her bare skin. He took her in with greedy eyes and slyly smiled down at her.
She looked up at him with big blue eyes and smiled and then he touched her again as he put a hand on her back. I saw her smile become uncomfortable for a second and then she seemed to relax. I didn’t. Instead, I missed a chord and then another right after that, which prompted Tiny to poke me with his guitar and question me with his eyes. He was silently asking me if I was okay. I wasn’t, but I nodded and continued to play.
The more time passed, the more I could tell Patience wasn’t herself. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and she was definitely acting strange. The playful flirting, the cleavage, and those painted-on jeans… none of it was her. Then she picked up a shot glass and slammed the liquid down like she’d been drinking her entire life. They say liquor takes away all inhibitions and she was making sure to melt all her insecurities away.
By the time our set was over, I was fuming. I couldn’t get off the stage fast enough. I set my guitar next to Finn and then jumped down from the stage. I made my way across the room to the bar where they were standing and talking. I took flirty boy in as I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from him. He attempted to say something, but I turned back toward him and eyed him hard. He must have seen the anger in my eyes because he shut up and turned away.
“What are you doing, Zeke? Let me go,” she slurred.
I didn’t respond as I dragged her across the room to the bathroom. She was more clumsy than usual, which did nothing but piss me off even more since I knew it was because she was drinking. I pulled her into the bathroom and let the door slam behind us. Finally, I let her arm go as I made sure there was no one else in the bathroom with us.
“Are you going to tell me what this is about?” She crossed her arms, which pushed her tits up even more.
“Yeah, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” I motioned to her body.
She looked down at herself, then back at me like she was confused.
“Megan dressed me. It’s no big deal. I blend in better this way.”
“The hell you do! I suggest you not let her dress you again. Those guys out there were practically waiting to rape you.”
“First of all, there were no “guys.” There was a guy, as in one, and he was actually kind of nice. Secondly, I can wear whatever the hell I want.”
“Of course he was being nice. He was too busy enjoying the fucking show to be a dick.”
“What show?”
“That show!” I pointed to her cleavage.
She sighed and sucked her teeth.
“Every girl in there is showing cleavage. I stick out more when I don’t. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, okay?”
“I’m not worried, but I’m taking you home.” I swiped my bangs out of my eyes and bit my lip ring in aggravation.
“I’m here with Megan. I have to ride home with her.” She glared at me with glazed-over eyes.
“Have you stopped to look at your friend lately? She’s drunk as fuck. Chet’s taking her home and I’ll take you.”
“Why are you suddenly talking to me? You ignored me for the last few days.”
“I didn’t ignore you and I’m talking to you because you’re about to do something stupid. Stick close to the stage and then I’ll take you home after the show. Just listen to me. I know the kind of guys that hang out around places like this, snowflake, and trust me when I say you’re way out of your league.” I turned and started to walk out.
“You mean guys like you?” she asked from behind me. “Do you think you’re out of my league, Zeke?” Her voice sounded sleepy and slurred.
I turned back to her. She was using the bathroom wall to hold herself up and the sadness in her eyes angered me.
“No, you’re out of mine.” I turned, left the bathroom, and didn’t look back.
Twelve
Patience
Zeke ended up being right about the jerk at the club. No sooner than I got back to the bar with Megan, he was trying to get me to go outside with him and give him a blow job. Sick bastard. I spent the rest of the show next to the stage, but not because Zeke told me to. I did it because I couldn’t peel Megan’s drunken ass away from Chet for five minutes.
Once the show was done, the guys packed up the stuff and we all walked out to the cars. Like Zeke had said she would, Megan literally fell into Chet’s car so I told her goodnight and went to stand next to Zeke’s car. I wasn’t happy about Megan getting too drunk to drive. I was planning on staying at her house since my sister was staying at her friend’s house for the night.
Now I was going to have to go home, and I could only hope I wouldn’t be bothered tonight. Chances were, since Sydney wasn’t home, my dad would come to my room tonight. Just thinking about it made my stomach turn.
When Zeke came over to his car, he said nothing to me as he pulled open the driver’s side door and jumped in. Once he cranked up his loud engine, I pulled open the car door and got in too. He sat and talked to Finn a minute about something I didn’t understand. It was almost as if they were talking in code. They were talking about selling the loud and getting the green. I assumed they were talking about music and making money playing. I never did understand the different kind of slang that bounced around.
Once we were on the way out of Mount Pleasant, he leaned down and turned on the radio. I watched the mile markers on the interstate as we passed them and counted down the time I had before I was back home in hell. I didn’t want to go home. I’d go anywhere. I didn’t care where it was if it meant staying away from home tonight. My dad would come to my room. He’d smell the alcohol on my breath, see the makeup on my face, and I wasn’t afraid to admit to myself that I was scared of him. He was changing. It was never innocent, what he was doing to me, but ever since I got arrested, he’d been vicious about it.
“You look deep in thought. What’s on your mind?” Zeke asked from across the car.
I couldn’t tell him what I was thinking, even though I wanted to. I knew in the back of my head I could trust Zeke. I knew I could tell him my secrets. He thought I was a privileged rich girl and while I did come from a rich family, my life had been just as hard as the people in his world. I wanted to tell him that. For some reason it meant a lot to me that he know I was never more myself than when I was with him. I needed him to know that Patience, the soccer playing governor’s daughter, was just an act, but the girl I was when I was just hanging out with him… that was the real me.
But as much as I wanted to spill my guts and free myself, I knew I couldn’t. Not just because of what Zeke might think, but because I had my mother and sister to worry about. If Zeke did spill the beans and tell, it wouldn’t be long until rumors about the governor started to circulate and make its way back to my house, to my mom.
“Nothing much. I’m just thinking about stuff.” I turned in my seat toward him. “Let’s go somewhere, anywhere. I don’t care where you take me. I just don’t want to go home yet.”
He looked over at me with his signature grin. His eyes filled with laughter.
“It’s after midnight. I’m pretty sure your dad’s already going to kill you,” he said as he switched hands on the steering wheel.
“Then I guess I better enjoy my last few hours alive, shouldn’t I?”
Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was how comfortable I felt with Zeke, but I was actually flirting. The words even sounded flirty when they came out. He looked over at me with a serious look on his face and then
he shook his head.
“Don’t do that, snowflake.”
“Do what?” I asked.
“You’re flirting with me. I’m sure it’s the alcohol talking, but I’m no different from the guys at the bar. If anything, I’m worse.”
“What if I think you’re different?”
“Then you’re more naïve than I originally thought.”
We were rapidly approaching my house and I was running out of time to convince him to take me somewhere else, but I couldn’t think of a place for him to take me or a reason why I didn’t want to go home that sounded legit.
When we pulled into my neighborhood and I saw we were passing huge houses, I started to freak out. It wasn’t going to be good and I kept remembering what it felt like to be slung against the kitchen table and treated like less than nothing. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. If I had to sleep next to the pool in my backyard I would, but I wasn’t going in my house with these clothes on and alcohol on my breath. I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to say something.
“Please,” I said as calmly as possible. “Please don’t take me home, Zeke. I’ll go anywhere, anywhere but there.”
He looked over at me with a strange expression on his face, and then he pulled his car over on to the side of the road.
“What’s the deal? Why are you so afraid to go home? You can tell me anything, you know.”
I suddenly felt uncomfortable with the conversation and all I wanted was to get out of his car and away from my house.
“Just forget it. I’ll find somewhere to go.” I popped the door open and turned to get out.
His warm hand wrapped around my arm as he stopped me.
“Get back in here. You can crash at my place as long as you promise to be quiet. My dad will shit a brick if he sees me bring a girl home and I promise you my dad makes your dad look like a saint.”
He turned the car around and headed toward his house. If only he knew. My dad was definitely not a saint, and I’d face anybody or anything in his trailer park if it meant staying away from home for the night.
Twenty minutes later, we pulled into his yard. The lights in his trailer were out and I was finding it hard to maneuver my way to the trailer door. He reached out and grabbed my hand as we crept up the rickety steps. He put a finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet, as he softly popped open his trailer door. The smell that welcomed me could only be described as foul and the small space felt suffocating.
The light above the stove in the kitchen lit a small area through the living room and made it possible for me to see there was no one in the living room anywhere. Zeke closed the door behind us, locked it, and then ushered me down a long, dark hallway.
“Be careful of the floor right here,” he whispered into the dark.
He pulled me through a doorway and then he shut the door behind us and flicked on a dim light. His room was small, but organized. There was a small twin-size bed, a weight bench, and a dresser that looked like the only thing holding it up was the clothes in the drawers. He went to his closet and pulled out a blanket and started laying it on the floor. I sat on his bed and unzipped my boots. Once I pulled them off, I stuck them in the corner and crawled onto the pallet that he made on the floor.
“No. I’ll sleep down there. You sleep in the bed,” he said.
Then he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it in the corner. He filled the small space to begin with, but once his chest was naked he somehow felt bigger. I took in his tattoos and wondered to myself what he would do if I got a closer look. I watched from the floor as he unbuckled his belt and pulled it off. He did this as he kicked off his boots. His eyes never left mine.
I didn’t think he would, but he pulled his jeans down, revealing a pair of black boxers with guitars all over them. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face.
“More guitars?” I asked.
“Yes, more guitars.” He mocked me. “Do you want a T-shirt and some shorts?
The thought of sleeping in Zeke’s clothes warmed me and I shook my head yes.
He went over to his dresser, pulled out a black T-shirt and a pair of gray boxers, and then tossed them to me.
“I won’t peek,” he said as he dropped to the pallet of blankets on the floor and attempted to get comfortable on his back.
“Why can’t I just go in the bathroom?”
“You might wake up my dad.”
“Oh, okay. You promise you won’t peek?”
I didn’t really mind the idea of him seeing me naked and that freaked me out a little.
“If I wanted to see you naked, then I’d just get you naked.” He yawned and threw his arm across his eyes.
There was no way I could respond to that. It bothered me that he didn’t want to see me naked, but at the same time, I didn’t want him to try and get me naked. I could say all day that he wouldn’t be able to get me out of my clothes, but something told me I’d eat those words if he ever tried.
I turned my back to him and peeled off my top. I thanked every god I could think of that I’d worn a bra even though Megan swore I didn’t need one. I snatched up the shirt and pulled it over my head. I peeked behind me to see his arm still over his eyes, so I unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them down. They were tight, so tight I couldn’t get them off as fast I wanted. Once they were down around my ankles, I bent over and pulled them off. Zeke’s boxers slid over my panties as I threw them on like I was dressing for a fire.
The shirt almost reached my knees when I tugged on it. I turned quickly to turn off the light and ran right into Zeke. Staring at his naked chest, I sucked in a deep breath. When I exhaled, I could feel my heated breath against my cheeks as it reflected off of his skin. I was so close, too close. My usual reaction would have been to jerk away immediately, but my palms landed on his hard pecks and they stayed there as if they’d melted into his hot flesh—not because I was feeling him up, but because I was so shocked by being this close to a naked man and it not being a tragedy.
I should’ve been appalled. I should’ve been thoroughly disgusted given my history with the opposite sex, but I was none of those things. Just like in his car when he touched my leg, my body buzzed and hummed and physically I wanted to mold myself to him and swim in his warmth. However, the mentally disturbed parts of me were still present and making themselves known in the back of my mind.
I felt his heartbeat racing beneath my palm. Looking up at him through my lashes, I was struck once again by how handsome he was. He peered down at me with his steely gaze that I was now accustomed to and the air around us crackled and popped. I knew I needed to say something or do something, but my legs felt boneless and I couldn’t seem to find my voice. When I finally did, I said the first thing that popped in my head.
“You promised.” It was barely a whisper.
My body tensed against my will when I felt his hands slide up my sides. The corner of his mouth tilted up and his small smile tugged at his lip ring. His dark eyes could see inside me. I was almost positive of that and it freaked me out more than him touching me.
I held my breath as he leaned his face closer to mine. Technically, I’d never been kissed and secretly I was hoping Zeke would be my first kiss, but instead of pressing his lips to mine, he brought his mouth to my ear.
“I told you I was a bad guy. You can’t trust guys like me.” His deep voice worked its way down the back of my neck, leaving goose bumps along the way.
He told me before that I shouldn’t trust him, but the funny part was that I did. I don’t know why I did; I just did.
“I trust you.” My voice sounded foreign to me, like I had something stuck in the back of my throat.
“If you knew what I was thinking you wouldn’t. My mind is filthy. I’m not sure you could handle it.”
He was right. I probably couldn’t handle it, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to know what the hell he was thinking.
“I can.” My voice shook like a scared little girl’s.
&nbs
p; “Is that so?” he asked as he nuzzled my neck.
I started to get jittery. My insides were shaking so hard and I couldn’t decide if it was from fear or excitement.
“Remember the other day in my car, when you told me you’d let me do things?” His tongue flicked over my ear lobe and I let a soft hiss slip through my teeth.
“Uh-huh.” It sounded childish, but it was all I was capable of saying.
The room suddenly felt smaller and hotter. A rush of warmth spread throughout my body and I could feel my pulse in my temples my heart was beating so fast and hard. I breathed in through my nose and took in the scent of his heated skin. He smelled amazing, like men’s cologne and fresh laundry.
He surprised me with a soft kiss to the side of my neck and I split right down the center. The top half of me wanted to run out into the cool night air and jog home, but the bottom half of me wanted to fade into him and become one.
“You let me hold your hand. What else will you let me do, snowflake?”
I used to hate it when he called me snowflake, but now I was beginning to think she was who I really was. There was Patience, the governor’s daughter, and then there was Snowflake, the girl who was starting to melt in Zeke’s very capable hands. Given the choice of who I’d want to be for the rest of my days, I’d choose Snowflake every time.
A soft noise pushed past my moist lips and I felt him smile against the side of my neck. His breath shifted the hair that hung against my cheek and it made me shiver even more. Everything in me trembled as my insides began to push at my seams. The healthy girl deep within me wanted to be free. She wanted to explore all the dark corners of Zeke, but the scarred me, the one who’d been broken down beyond belief was still holding her back.
“Will you let me do this?” he asked as he slipped his hands down my sides and brought them around my backside.
I stiffened for just a second as a tiny hint of panic seeped in, but the minute he started drawing lazy circles on the back of my thighs with a single finger, I squashed that panic and let pleasure take its place. A tiny murmur came from deep within me and he softly growled his approval against my ear.
Playing Patience Page 12