by Lisa Plumley
‘No thanks is necessary, I assure you. My pleasure.’ His voice held a faint rasp and his fingers flexed into a fist and released as if he were keeping a tight rein on his body.
‘But I wanted to.’ She drew a deep breath. She had to try once more. ‘I want to kiss you again...if you are willing. Out here where it is just us.’
His intake of breath was sharp and sure. ‘Don’t say things like that unless you mean them. Once we start, there is no going back, Kara. I’m not made of stone.’
She cupped his face between her hands. The soft bristles of his unshaven chin tickled her fingertips and sent little flutters through her body, teasing her and awakening a fire deep within her belly. His eyes became heavily lidded with passion. A sense of power surged through her. ‘I mean it.’
This time, rather than brushing his lips, she flicked out her tongue, running it along the outline of his mouth and lingering on the soft curve of his bottom lip. She caught it between her teeth and nibbled.
His arms came around her and roamed all over her back before crushing her to him. Her soft curves met his hard planes and his arousal pressed into her, leaving her in no doubt of his desire for her.
She knew she wanted much more and she was tired of waiting. Going back to the hall with all its people milling about and waiting until dark would take far too long. Even though it was autumn and a distinct chill hung in the air, she knew she wanted to experience it.
All of her hesitation vanished in the security of his arms. His mouth opened to her and she tasted the sweetness of him. Their tongues met and tangled, retreated and advanced.
He lifted his head. His ragged breath fanned her cheek. ‘We must stop.’
‘Why?’
‘This place...it is not what I’d want for you, for us, for the first time since my return.’ He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her, his face utterly serious. ‘If this continues, I will lose whatever small amount of self-control I have with you.’
She laughed softly. A small thrill rippled through her. He wasn’t tired of waiting. He was trying to go at her pace. Seven years ago, she’d been forced to go at his. But now they could move together. ‘Ash, I am tired of waiting. My dreams have become unbearable. Help me make them real.’
‘Dreams? You have dreamt of me. They cannot be half as vivid as my dreams of you.’
‘You have no idea.’
‘I used not to be able to sleep because of my memories of the shipwreck, and the men I’d killed, but lately I can’t sleep because of you and what I want to do with you.’ He cupped her cheeks between his palms. ‘A soft bed can do wonders, Kara. Out here is hard ground and cold air. Uncomfortable at the best of times.’
Her stomach clenched. If they waited and went back to the hall, something would stop them. She wanted to do this now before she lost her nerve. ‘I thought you disliked sleeping in rooms.’
‘Did I say anything about sleeping?’ He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He looked down at her face and sighed, putting her from him. ‘This is wrong. I’m sorry, Kara, but it is.’
‘Wrong?’ she whispered.
‘Before we make love, you need to know what I went through,’ he said slowly as if coming to a decision. ‘I want you to know before...so you don’t feel bound to me. You need to know everything or our marriage will still be false. I see that now as clearly as I see your face.’
Kara’s breath caught. Ash wanting to share was far more important than their joining. He had said that he might not ever feel comfortable sharing his past.
‘If you like,’ she said cautiously. ‘I’ll listen with a sympathetic ear. I want to know everything about you.’
‘I haven’t been able to sleep inside since I was trapped on the ship after the lightning struck. A good captain would have gone down with his ship, but something within me fought to live.’
‘You were asleep when the lightning struck?’
‘The ship turned over and I was trapped for a lifetime.’ Slowly Ash began to recount the story of his survival, including how he’d used the dead bodies of his friends as a shield to get out of the dungeon alive. Kara listened with growing horror at what he’d been through and respect for his survival. He spoke about the men he’d killed and when, leaving nothing out.
* * *
‘There, you know everything—the bad and the ugly.’ He started to turn away. ‘We can go back to the hall now. When you make your decision, you can let me know.’
‘I’ve made it.’ She leant forward, grabbed his arm before kissing him on the mouth. ‘We stay here. No more secrets between us. If anything, your story makes me admire you more. You went through all that and you remained determined not to give up or give in. I’ve seen you with Rurik and your men. What you went through didn’t destroy you, Ash. It made you.’
His eyes darkened. ‘If that is what you want.’
She undid her cloak and spread it out on the narrow strip of grass, sure of herself. She gestured about the hushed forest glade. ‘We have the rest of our lives for a soft bed, but right now, we have all this beauty and solitude. But if you are unwilling, I’m willing to give you time.’
His rich laugh rang out as he threw an arm about her. ‘If you knew how hard it has been for me, particularly in the past few days. I promised you time and I gave it, but I never said it would be easy on me.’
‘On either of us,’ she confessed to her cloak.
‘It’s good to know. I worried.’ His hand traced a line the length of her back, sending a warm pulse throughout her, enveloping her in its heat. And his touch was better than any dream.
She spun around and he grabbed her hands, holding them above her head. She glimpsed the vulnerability in his eyes.
‘Would you have taken me out today if I’d asked?’
‘I wanted to confess my deeds. You were right—you needed to know,’ he murmured against her mouth. ‘It couldn’t hang between us and I wanted it to be out here. I was certain you’d turn from me. All I had was one slender hope, but it was enough.’
‘You had hope.’
‘Without hope, I’d never have survived. Somewhere deep within me, I wanted to see your face again and feel your skin against mine.’ His lips captured hers, slowly moving across her face, raining kisses on her eyes, cheekbones and nose, making a memory.
With each touch, Kara realised her dreams had been a pale copy of the real thing. She moved to touch him, but he shook his head.
‘Patience,’ he murmured, capturing her hands. ‘I intend to enjoy this. You have led me on a merry dance, Kara. It is time you knew a bit of pleasurable suffering.’
Their hands remained intertwined as he eased her back onto the cloak, before he took off his cloak and tunic. The autumn sunlight turned his skin to gold, but she could see a network of scars across his torso and recalled his story about the way he’d battled to return.
She hated to think about the pain he must have borne for each scar. She reached out a trembling finger and traced the nearest scar. His flesh was molten hot to her touch.
‘Not the perfection I used to be,’ he said, kneeling beside her and taking her hand between his. ‘Is that what you are trying to tell me with your serious stare? I don’t match your expectations?’
She looked up at the deep blue autumn sky and tried to regain control of her emotions. How could he think such a thing about her? ‘I’m sorry you had to feel pain.’
‘Take away pain and you take away life.’ He lifted her hand to his lips. His tongue made a little circle on the underside of her wrist. ‘You’ve lessened my pain today considerably, the pain I have in my soul.’
She passed a hand over her eyes. The scars might not be visible like the ones on his torso, but they were there. ‘Yes, of course.’
Very deliberately she leant forward and placed her mouth on
the most jagged of his scars, the one which ran from his right breast down to his left hip where someone once had tried to slice him open. His second battle with the Franks. She ran her tongue along the length of it, feeling its silken smoothness which contrasted with the faint roughness of his unblemished skin.
‘May I see you?’ His breath tickled her ear. ‘Let me feast my eyes on your perfection.’
‘Hardly that. I’ve had a child.’
‘You will be perfection to me.’
She leant back on her heels and started to undo her belt, but the knot stuck and refused to work loose.
With nimble fingers he undid her belt before pushing her gown and undergarment up. The cool autumn air kissed her skin.
She gave a faint shiver. He pulled her into his arms. And the heat of his skin slid over her. ‘Shall I warm you?’
His body covered hers, providing instant searing heat. His lips made a trail to her earlobe and nuzzled it, pulling and tugging it.
Each touch sent a fresh wave of desire through her, reminding her of the times he had made love to her in the past and how good it had been once. He seemed to know how to play her body and precisely what she liked.
Her body bucked upwards. His hand cupped her breasts and flicked the nipples. A tiny movement of nail against the delicate rose-coloured skin, but it increased her desire to fever pitch. Then he bent his head and his tongue circled her nipples, sucking and exploring.
She made a mewling noise at the back of her throat.
Later they could go slowly, but right now she knew she needed him inside her or she’d die. She tugged at his shoulders and spread her thighs wide.
‘Hush now, let me explore,’ he rasped in her ear.
His hand slipped down to the apex of her thighs, going between the folds and smoothing her innermost core, stroking and probing until she thought she could bear it no more.
‘Please,’ she whispered as her body was alive with fire.
He relented and drove himself between her legs. Her body opened and welcomed the length of him. Fully sheathed him.
They lay there, unmoving, adjusting to each other. Then he gently began to rock, going deeper and then retreating. Her body remembered the rhythm, moving along with him.
She knew it was not going to be like her dream and he wouldn’t vanish in the mist, but her legs still locked about him, holding him within her, keeping him there as she shuddered to a climax.
* * *
Slowly Ash drifted back to earth and raised himself up on his elbows so he could look down on Kara’s peaceful sleeping face.
She might be asleep, spent from the passion they had just shared, but he felt wonderfully awake and alive in a way he’d not felt for years. He had forgotten such feelings existed. He had told her the truth about his past and she hadn’t pulled away or made him seem less of a man for what he’d done.
He wanted to ensure that nothing ever harmed her. He’d made the right decision to keep his fears about his uncle from her. That was the future, not the past.
He ran a hand down her smooth back, marvelling at the silkiness of her skin. Even the gentle touch made his body harden and he knew it would be a long time before he’d had his fill of her.
Ash concentrated on keeping his breathing even. They had all the time in the world. She belonged to him now. He would be worthy of her. Some day she would see it.
He gave her backside a gentle tap. ‘Time to get up.’
‘Get up?’ Her voice remained slurred with spent passion and sleep. She snuggled further into the crook of his arm. ‘I’m far too comfortable here.’
‘You might be now, but the temperature rapidly drops when the sun goes in.’ He dropped a kiss on her shoulder, rather than gathering her to him. Even the tiny touch was enough to send his heart racing. He’d been seven times a fool to stay away as long as he had. ‘We don’t want Rurik worrying about us.’
At the mention of their son, she sat up and reached for her clothes. Her cheeks became a delightful pink when she realised the state of them. The pleats of her under-dress were hopelessly creased. ‘What will he say if he sees me like this?’
‘He will be glad that we are trying to give him a brother or a sister.’
She put a hand over her mouth. ‘Of course, I hadn’t thought. You want more children.’
‘You do want more children?’ he enquired softly, trying to understand her change of mood. ‘You always said that you wanted a big family.’
‘Yes, of course.’ The words were far too quick. Her hands tidied her kerchief and neatened her dress. ‘I simply wasn’t thinking about that. You have only been back a little while.’
‘I was.’ Ash captured a strand of her hair and ran its silky smoothness through his fingers. ‘I’d like a girl with blond hair and her mother’s spirit.’
‘And what if it doesn’t happen?’
‘We enjoy each other and the child we do have.’ He put his hand on her shoulder and felt her flesh quiver. ‘If you want me to be a farmer, Kara, I’ll try. I want to be the sort of man you want for your husband.’
Kara gnawed at her lip. ‘That would be good.’
‘Is there something wrong?’
‘Nothing at all. The hour is late. People will get concerned.’ She leant forward and nipped his chin. ‘I shall tell whoever asks that I had a lovely lesson in tracking.’
Ash allowed his laugh to ring out and startled several wood pigeons. Things would work out this time. He would defeat his uncle and then he could work at being the sort of man Kara wanted him to be.
Chapter Thirteen
Kara inhaled deeply as she slipped off her cloak in her chamber. Ash had gone to make sure all the equipment he’d brought with him was properly stored, leaving her to make her own way to her chamber. She thanked the gods for a small piece of luck—she managed to get to her chamber without encountering anyone and having to suffer knowing stares or, worse still, questions.
She plucked a stray twig from her hair. His declaration about being willing to be a farmer had unsettled her. It was the last thing she expected from Ash and she had trouble thinking of him being happy, yet he had seemed sincere. It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Someone by her side to share the burden. Her perfect mate. It made no sense. She should be happy, but it unnerved her as if there was something Ash was keeping from her.
‘My lady, thank the gods you have returned. Visitors are in the hall.’ Thora rushed into the room without knocking. Her kerchief was askew and the relief was etched on her face.
‘Have you made them comfortable?’ Kara automatically straightened her dress, silently blessing whichever god had watched over her earlier. If she had gone straight to the hall, everyone would have guessed what had happened and it was far too new to share.
‘Yes, my lady.’ Thora twisted her pinafore.
‘What is the trouble, Thora? You appear distressed.’ Kara straightened her gown. ‘Is it Harald Haraldson? You don’t need to fear that his men will behave badly this time. Ash and his men will keep the peace.’
‘It’s Valdar, my lady.’
Kara’s heart knocked. Valdar. She wasn’t ready to see him. Her relationship with Ash was far too new. They were still getting used to each other.
‘Valdar,’ she said, biting the back of her thumb.
Thora smiled. ‘Rurik is beyond excited, but considering your recent history and the master being here, do you really want him here?’
Kara hoped her colour stayed normal. The hall traded on secrets and she wasn’t ready to share what had happened in the forest with anyone. She and Ash hadn’t even begun to discuss sleeping arrangements. He might not want to share her bed because of his nightmares.
‘I’ve no choice in the matter.’
Ash strode in. He glanced at Thora, who blushed, and
then purposefully went over to Kara and kissed her lips. Thora hurriedly backed out of the room, stammering. The news would be all over the estate before night fell.
‘Problems?’ Ash asked, tightening his grip on her waist. ‘Whatever they are, they can wait. Let’s take a bath together, wash the dust away. I can scrub your back.’
She broke away. ‘Visitors.’
‘I know.’
Kara froze. He knew and still suggested bathing. Had he known they were near before he took her out into the woods? ‘You knew.’
He laughed. ‘Hard to miss a half-dozen extra horses.’
Her neck relaxed slightly. There was a logical explanation. ‘Oh, I thought...it doesn’t matter. But there is no question of bathing, Ash. That would...that would be rude.’
‘A suggestion in case you wanted to look your best, rather than like you’d had a delightful tumble in the forest.’
‘I...I can’t abandon my duties.’
He shrugged. ‘Always one for duty, Kara.’
‘The honour of the house is at stake.’
‘What do you intend to do about him?’
There was no mistaking the jealousy in Ash’s tone. She smiled inwardly. After all they had shared this afternoon he should know which man she preferred.
‘I will greet him with the usual warmth. Valdar has been a good friend. Only a friend.’ She began to walk towards the hall with brisk steps. The last thing she wanted was for Ash to start some unnecessary competition with Valdar where she was perceived as a prize. That was all his suggestion about bathing had been about—a way of presenting her as a trophy to Valdar. She liked Valdar. She’d no wish to hurt him.
‘My lady,’ Ash called, ‘aren’t you forgetting something?’
Kara stopped. ‘Such as?’
‘Your husband. You never know if the visitors will be friendly. One day you may have cause to thank my past life as a warrior.’
Kara’s stomach knotted. She hoped Ash hadn’t decided to be a farmer simply to please her.