On August 23, 2006, I was sent back to the Coast Guard Academy for a follow-up due to my being an inpatient at the VA. The psychologist’s first reaction when seeing me there was anger. He was angry that I was an inpatient at the hospital especially since I was not suicidal. His main concern were the high costs of inpatient care. I went to the hospital against my will. I was sent there in tears, because of tears. How could this have been my fault? He was also angry that I had stopped taking Zoloft, and said that I was “refusing treatment” and forced me to start taking Zoloft again. I brought up the rape and he said that the rape wasn’t why he’s seeing me. He also said that I should “get over the rape” since I was no longer at Station Burlington. He then told me that I’ll be recommended for a medical board for adjustment disorder and was escorted out.
During another visit with the psychologist he noted I was sexually active prior to the assault and knew my perpetrator. He argued that because this was true—and because they give out condoms and birth control in boot camp—that I was “fully prepared.” I met with Coast Guard Investigative Service who investigated the alleged sexual assault. I met with them twice and had countless failed attempts to contact them to know the outcome of the investigation.
A lieutenant commander from District 1 legal team was assigned to be my legal advocate. According to him, it is dishonorable to “report a rape.” According to the Coast Guard’s core values of honor, respect, and devotion to duty, how am I honoring and respecting my shipmate for bringing a rape allegation against him? He also said he didn’t believe that I was assaulted, given that “One undergoes a security, background check to be able to serve in the Coast Guard. Only those that passed the criminal background check are able to serve and if he did not have a history of raping women in the past why would he be doing it now?” He also mentioned that I would go to prison unless I dropped the charges. Initially I refused to drop charges because I knew what happened to me, there was a confession by the rapist, and the evidence was there. I was naive in thinking that someone would actually do their job, put a criminal behind bars, but the system failed me. Eventually the threats from my lawyer were so severe and traumatizing that I had no other choice but to drop the charges.
The sexual assault allegation was not kept confidential. Almost everyone on base knew why I was transferred to Boston. On base I often heard my shipmates call me a “whore,” “slut,” and “a liar.” Another E-3 told me that “You’re hot, I’d love to rape you too.” Unfortunately I do not know his name. I was also receiving death threats. One day, while living in the barracks at ISC Boston, at around two or three in the morning there was a knock on the door. When I answered it, there were two intoxicated men in civilian clothes that threatened me and tried to get into my barrack room. It got so bad that I had to move off base.
On May 24, 2007, I received an honorable discharge under narrative reasons of “unacceptable conduct.” As a result of serving less than twenty-four months in the Coast Guard I am denied the GI Bill and a bonus that was promised to me by my recruiter. I am currently receiving ongoing medical treatment for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Military Sexual Trauma at the Boston VA. The Boston VA confirmed that the psychologist of the United States Coast Guard misdiagnosed me with having adjustment disorder and personality disorder.
Nathan Peld
Petty Officer, Second Class, United States Navy, Nuclear Electronics Technician
Deployments: USS Ronald Reagan
Hometown: Green Bay, Wisconsin
Age at Winter Soldier: 27 years old
I served in the United States Navy from 1998 to 2004. I was a nuclear electronics technician aboard the USS Ronald Reagan. This placed me in an unusual situation because it was a pre-commissioning unit, which meant that I was there from the earliest stages of construction. So this also meant that most of the ship worked regular, 7 a.m. to 3 p.m., and we were able to go home at night; it was really great for us.
As a member of the Reactor Department, we were divided into four groups that worked rotating shift work, and this provided twenty-four hours of security and testing, and we worked jointly with the shipyard in these matters.
On one of these off-ships when there was a minimal crew on board, there was a young woman who was working in her divisional office. She had a direct superior come in and after speaking he dropped his pants and exposed himself to her. Fortunately, she recognized that this was not an off-color joke or the usual barrage of playful flirting but more of a flagrant violation. She took the proper method and reported this up her chain of command, and when this reached the senior enlisted commander in my department he took it and tried to initiate a cover-up. There were many reasons for this: because he hadn’t actually hurt her, perhaps they could agree on a compromise, and because maybe from his perspective he didn’t consider it a hostile environment. He was also two years away from retirement and her speaking out could have ruined his career at such a key moment for him.
She did not agree to this and went above her chain of command. When this account finally reached the upper chains of command and the two men had to explain themselves, the man who exposed himself was finally put into procedure for court-martial, and he was dishonorably discharged.
The darker side of this story was that the man who initiated the cover-up was given only a reprimand. He was trying to do what was “best for the department” and that was to keep us quiet and so only receiving a reprimand was the only action that was taken against him. This scene shows how members of the navy who try to play games of male dominance receive all but a free pass.
Jeff Key
Lance Corporal, United States Marine Corps Reserve, Light Armored Vehicle Technician , 4th Light Armored Reconnaissance
Deployments: April 2003–June 2003, from Kuwait to al-Hilla
Hometown: Salt Lake City, Utah
Age at Winter Soldier: 42 years old
I was thirty-four years old when I walked in that recruiting station. I did so for the same reasons that I’m sitting here today; I love America. I know these are dark times, but I have great hope for the future.
I’m an out queer man. I knew under Clinton’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy that things would not be easy, but I wanted to serve bad enough that I went along with that policy. I was naive. Once you’re in a fighting hole with someone who’s sharing the deep contents of their soul and willing to take a bullet for you, and you for them, to manufacture some bogus life is ridiculous. I would not spit in their face by doing so.
I have to say that my experience of serving as a queer man in the military was very different than some. People are still assaulted and sometimes murdered for being gay in our military, and those who institutionalize government-mandated discrimination of any sort such as a ban on gays in the military is wrong. It’s un-American. But those who think that lifting the ban on gays in the military will end homophobia are as naive as those who thought that in 1948 when we desegregated our troops that it ended racism. It did not.
I want to express gratitude for those marines who stood by me. They stood by me in war, they knew who I was, they knew everything about me, they stood by me in my wedding. They have gone very public and put themselves at risk to speak out on behalf of queers serving.
When I came back, I knew that I could not be a party to this occupation. I could not be true to my oath as a marine and continue to serve, so I went on CNN and came out of the closet to five million people and made them throw me out.
I heard too many stories about people who were coming out and getting deployed anyway. And I knew that because of my oath, my belief in God, and what I believe is right to do, I cannot participate in this very dangerous occupation.
At the core of this war machine is an ideology that is based on the gender paradigm and homophobia. That’s why even in the twenty-first century just about the worst thing you can say to a straight teenage boy is that he’s queer. I can tell you from personal experience that young straight men, otherwise goo
d men, will go to great lengths and do horrible things to prove that they’re not gay.
This is the only way I can explain the cruel way some of my fellow marines treated the kids who came up next to our vehicles during our deployment. It’s the only way I can explain that some of my fellow marines thought it was fun to feed a stray dog antifreeze, which the dog found delicious, but causes a slow and painful death. I remember one night in Iraq some marines were trying to chase a mouse from underneath my tent. They were trying to kill it. They seemed thirsty for blood, any blood would do. It made me nervous. One lance corporal swung an ax handle at the mouse like a bat, before bringing down the blade and snuffing the life out of the innocent beast.
Somehow this idea of men are beings devoid of feelings and compassion and that women are weak and just a ball of emotions is at the center of all this. I can tell you now that my highest idea of someone who serves in our military has everything to do with dispelling these old ways of thinking around gender and sexuality, and everything to do with standing up for what our country supposedly stands for.
Margaret Stevens
Specialist, New Jersey Army National Guard, Medic
Deployments: New York City after 9/11
Hometown: Newark, New Jersey
Age at Winter Soldier: 28 years old
Gender and sexuality issues go to the core of the war itself, and I think that that’s the point of the title of this panel.
I was at a club in Virginia last year, it was an 18-and-older club, so that meant that most of the girls were eighteen and the guys were like thirty. I see this guy and he’s attractive and he has on a military shirt, he’s a recruiter. You’ve got these big strong guys in this club trying to recruit these young, eighteen-year-old girls into the military. It’s very clear that the process of sexual trauma begins at the point of recruitment, not at the point of basic training. For many of these young women, their first sexual encounter with a man is the recruiter, if they don’t have a father figure, if they don’t have brothers in their lives. That wasn’t my experience. I didn’t join in that sort of desperate state, but that’s a reality for many people and I want you to keep that in mind.
In basic training there was a young, female recruit who was engaging in sexual relations with one of the drill sergeants. When we found that out, it was disgusting and demoralizing. It got exposed and he never tried to approach me or the other women and hit on us, but the dynamics were there.
I joined the New Jersey National Guard in 1997. I was a medic, a very woman-heavy field. We didn’t have the same sort of experiences as women in mechanic fields do. When 9/11 happened our unit was called up to do post–9/11 relief. At that moment, I just figured my life would change. We were going to war. But what I also knew that I could get pregnant. So I said to myself, “What happens if I get pregnant?” Maybe I wouldn’t have to go if I was having a baby. We’d have to be deployed in the next nine months and we could deploy a year later, I’d still have to go anyway. Then I’d have a three-month-old baby that I can’t stay with because I waited too long or because I did it too quickly. This is the type of math that people do.
A lot of men think oh, you’re a sellout or you’re a punk. You joined the military, why are you gonna get pregnant? You see? This is the type of tension that happens. I don’t think it’s important to go into my experience, but I just want you to know that many women do get pregnant. Many women do end up having abortions and many women did have babies. After 9/11.
Who are these women? These members of the National Guard are mothers and grandmothers. So now you have guys at home saying “Baby, I’ll go. You stay. Let me go for you,” and we know that that’s not reality. That’s not how it works. When you get called up, you are the one that has to go.
I can speak on behalf of a good friend of mine who was raped and there was no evidence. That’s a huge problem, that there’s no evidence. When there’s no evidence you don’t qualify for benefits and you can’t claim that you have PTSD because there’s no documentation of the crime. When one does try to document the crime, they’re coerced and told that they’re a sellout, and other men who might want to be on your side are also coerced and made to feel like if they speak up they’re turning against their own. That’s not just against the women, because these young men have to live with that too. They have to decide whether they want to be on the side of the victim or the victimizer, when in fact we are all in a situation where all are being forced into an occupation that none of us are really happy about.
When we have women in command, will that solve the problem? There are people who are lobbying to say that women should be higher up and they should have more power. I’m not convinced that having women in command will change the nature of our situation in the occupation itself. There are women who are trying to fight, there are women who are trying to speak out. The military is scared out of its mind to have this panel right here. This panel is history. Because women are in combat now, and they’re so scared that this is gonna get out.
The Crisis in Veterans’ Health care and the Costs of War at Home
Introduction
Eighteen American war veterans kill themselves every day.1 One thousand former soldiers receiving care from the Department of Veterans Affairs attempt suicide every month.2 More veterans are committing suicide than are dying in combat overseas. These are statistics that most Americans don’t know, because the government has refused to tell them. Since the start of the Iraq War, official Washington has tried to present it as a war without casualties.
In fact, these statistics never would have come to light were it not for a class action lawsuit brought by Veterans for Common Sense and Veterans United for Truth on behalf of the 1.7 million Americans who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan. The two groups allege the Department of Veterans Affairs has systematically denied mental-health care and disability benefits to veterans returning from the conflict zones. The case, officially known as Veterans for Common Sense v. Peake, went to trial in April 2008 at a federal courthouse in San Francisco. The two sides will no doubt be battling it out in court for years, but the case is already having an impact.
That’s because over the course of the two-week trial, the VA was compelled to produce a series of documents that show the extent of the crisis affecting wounded soldiers.
“Shh!” began one e-mail from Dr. Ira Katz, the head of the VA’s Mental Health Division, advising a media spokesperson not to tell CBS News that one thousand veterans receiving care at the VA try to kill themselves every month. “Our suicide prevention coordinators are identifying about 1,000 suicide attempts per month among the veterans we see in our medical facilities. Is this something we should (carefully) address ourselves in some sort of release before someone stumbles on it?” the e-mail concludes.3
Leading Democrats on the Senate Veterans Affairs Committee immediately called for Katz’s resignation. The chair of the House Committee on Veterans Affairs, Bob Filner (D-CA), weighed in as well. “We should all be angry about what has gone on here,” Filner said. “This is a matter of life and death for the veterans that we are responsible for and I think there was criminal negligence in the way this was handled. If we do not admit, assume or know then the problem will continue and people will die. If that’s not criminal negligence, I don’t know what is.”4
It’s also part of a pattern. The high number of veteran suicides weren’t the only government statistics the Bush administration was forced to reveal because of the class-action lawsuit. Another set of documents presented in court showed that in the six months leading up to March 31, 2008, a total of 1,467 veterans died waiting to learn if their disability claim would be approved by the government. A third set of documents showed that veterans who appeal a VA decision to deny their disability claim have to wait an average of 1,608 days, or nearly four and a half years, for their answer.5
Other casualty statistics are not directly concealed, but are also not made public on a regular basis. For example, the Penta
gon reports regularly on the numbers of American troops “wounded” in Iraq (32,224 as of June 1, 2008) but neglects to mention that it has two other categories: “injured” and “ill” (together 39,430).6 All three of these categories represent soldiers who are so damaged physically they have to be medically evacuated to Germany for treatment, but splitting up the numbers minimizes the sense of casualties in the public consciousness.
Here’s another number that we don’t often hear discussed in the media: 287,790.7 That’s the number of returning Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans who had filed a disability claim with the Department of Veterans Affairs as of March 25, 2008. That figure was not announced to the public at a news conference, but had to be obtained using the Freedom of Information Act.
Each number in these statistics represents the suffering of a patriotic American who signed up for the U.S. Armed Forces and agreed to go anywhere in the world at the order of their commander in chief. As the testimony offered at Winter Soldier shows, veterans have been lied to twice—first about the reasons for going to war and second about the government’s commitment to take care of them when they get home.
Zollie Peter Goodman
Petty Officer, United States Navy, Flight Director, Salvage Crew Operator
Deployments: USS John F. Kennedy; November 2004, Fallujah
Hometown: Gainesville, Florida
Age at Winter Soldier: 24 years old
Regardless of your political viewpoints, regardless of your personal feelings, one day the United States military will leave Iraq. When we do, all we will have to show for it is thousands of dead Americans. In the meantime, the war ends every single day for our soldiers, because someone is discharged from the United States military every single day. They’re discharged with no assistance getting into the VA system. Some people are discharged without knowing that they qualify for veterans’ benefits, like I was.
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