by Tara Lain
“Yeah. I’m sure a hardware store can do it.” Ryder reached down and lifted Sammy under his arms to help him stand. Whoa. Shaky. But not too bad. Ryder wrapped the towel around Sammy’s skinny, dripping body, stuck an arm under Sammy’s knees, and up he went.
Sammy grinned. “You’re really good at that.”
Ryder grinned. “Thanks.”
He walked out of the bathroom and set Sammy on his feet beside the bed. He dried Sammy off, which sent his cock into another meet-and-greet session, then pushed him back on the sheets until Sammy’s head hit the pillow next to Aloysius. Ryder scooted Sammy over and covered him. “Rest while I get you some soup.”
More pans. Must have drifted again. Sammy opened his eyes when Ryder put an arm behind his head and helped him sit up. He propped a couple of pillows behind Sammy and pulled over a tray with soup and the advertised tea with some milk in it. A soup spoon was heading to Sammy’s mouth before he got half a wit together. “I can do that.”
“Humor me.”
Sammy took a mouthful of chicken and rice, the only soup he’d had in the cabinet. “Um, what time is it?”
Ryder looked at his watch. “A little after one thirty. You guys left the party early.”
“It feels like a lifetime ago.” He took another mouthful. “Tell me how you happen to be here again?”
“I thought Maybelle and Bilden were acting strange. I kind of fabricated an interest in Lucien”—he shuddered—“and asked her about her relationship with him. She proudly told me he’s bisexual and fucks her every chance he gets. Bilden told me practically the same thing, except for the bisexual part.”
Hot tears pressed behind Sammy’s eyes. “I knew it was too good to be true.”
“Nothing about that guy is good that I can see.”
Sammy looked down into the soup. “That’s the only kind of guy who would ever be interested in me. A cheating rat.”
“Sam, that’s not so.”
His voice shook. “Why the hell do you think he even bothered with me to begin with? What would he want with a stupid loser if he was planning on cheating with half the fucking college?” The tears squeezed out and started to drip down his cheeks.
Ryder put the tray on the dresser and wrapped Sammy in his arms. “You’re not a loser at all. You’re one of the finest people I’ve ever known. You’re kind and funny and so smart. You paint like a master. Even if you do pick strange subject matter sometimes.” Ryder chuckled and nodded toward the painting on Sammy’s easel.
“You saw that?” Sammy snuffled. Maybe if he didn’t move too much Ryder would forget to let him go.
“Hard to miss that painting in a room the size of most closets.”
Pretty embarrassing. But compared to having had your energy drained by a cheating pig and your neck chained by the selfsame bastard while you were blacked out, painting a picture was small potatoes in the shame department.
“Ready to sleep?”
No. “Yeah.” Sammy pulled the pillows out from behind him and lay back down. Al crawled up next to him. His eyelids felt weighted. “Thank you so much for taking care of me. I’ll rest tomorrow, and I should be able to go to school on Monday.”
“Yes, you’ll rest tomorrow, and I’ll see that you do. I’m not going anywhere. I want to make sure that asshole doesn’t come back. I’ll sleep on your couch and be here to take care of you in the morning.”
Sammy shook his head. “No way a human can sleep on that couch. Aloysius won’t even do it. It has lumps the size of Everest. I’ll be fine. Really.”
“Not leaving, so forget about it.”
Sweeter words were never spoken. I don’t want to be alone. He opened his eyes a slit. Ryder gazed down at him. That expression. He remembered it—from the painting. His deep eyes. So soft. So much like love.
A thick fog of exhaustion rolled over Sam, and his eyes wouldn’t stay open. “Sleep in the bed with me and Al. We don’t move much. Sleep here… prommmmissse….”
RYDER WATCHED Sammy sleep. He’s in danger. I know it. That charm was no lover’s knot. God, Ryder wanted to pick him up and run where no one could harm him. He wanted to hold him safe.
Aloysius stared up at Ryder and seemed to be asking What are you going to do?
What was he going to do? His head hammered with the litany Don’t get involved. Don’t get involved.
Fuck it. He was already involved. Had been for a long time. But what were his options? Not damned many. Not much time left. He could feel it.
Ryder’s heart hammered. He pulled the long-sleeved T-shirt over his head, then unzipped his jeans. With a deep breath, he pushed his pants down and stepped out of them. Wearing his briefs, he walked over to the lamp and turned it off, then crossed around the bed in the faint moonlight. As he sat on the edge, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door. A faint glow reflected off his chest. Not much time.
Aloysius moved above Sammy’s head like he was making space for Ryder. He crawled into bed and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. Sometimes a big mistake felt so right.
THE THICK black smoke surrounded him, crept into his eyes and nose, coating them with soot. The cloud slithered down his throat into his belly, and he gagged. Can’t breathe. Too thick. Putrid, acrid. Need breath.
Light. Like a blade cutting through the dark letting sweet air in. Breath, life. Yes, thank you. Yes.
Sammy’s eyes flew open. What the hells? Warm, safe. Yes, safe like in the dream. He took a breath and felt his back press against satiny smoothness. Skin. For an instant he froze. But no. He knew when he was in heaven.
Ryder had wrapped both arms around Sammy. Sammy could feel the hard muscle of Ryder’s thighs against his legs, and yes, the stiff rod of his erection pressed to Sammy’s ass. But judging by those deep inhalations, he was sound asleep. Oh man. Have to get out of this, or I’ll die of pure horniness.
He shifted a little to the right. That rigid rod, covered only in a thin wisp of cotton, slid to the side until it fit perfectly into the full length of Sammy’s ass crack. Shit. His whole body felt like it had been beaten with a stick, but his cock was willing to stand at attention. Maybe this wasn’t heaven. Having Ryder that close to the promised land and not being able to do anything about it felt a lot more like hell.
Uh, why is Ryder hugging a guy in his sleep? Sammy’s head was going to explode. Too many questions, not enough answers. He took a deep breath. A warm tingle, like fizzy champagne was being pumped out of Ryder’s skin and into Sammy’s body. Nice. Might as well enjoy this. It was his only chance. He scooted tight against Ryder, appreciated the lean, hard muscle and silken skin for a moment, sighed, and fell back asleep.
MORE POTS and pans. Sammy turned over, but no Ryder. These two ideas are connected. He opened his eyes. Light flooded in from the small window, and it didn’t even hurt to look at it. He moved tentatively from side to side, then tried to sit up. His muscles followed his commands and barely hurt. His neck still burned but not as much.
“Merwaow.”
Sammy reached out and scratched Al’s head. “Thanks, buddy. I think some of this is your doing. I feel pretty good.”
A deep voice came from behind the screen. “That’s good news.” Ryder walked into the sleeping area. He looked like breakfast, dressed again in his jeans and long-sleeved, dark blue T-shirt. His brown hair fell around his shoulders in a curtain, and his creamy skin stretched across the architectural bones of his face like marble. He also looked embarrassed. Okay, that meant he’d woken up with his cock pressing into Sammy’s ass and probably leaped to the other side of the apartment trying to get away. Humiliating. Gods.
Ryder smiled, though his cheeks were a little too pink. “Ready for some breakfast?”
Sammy nodded. Try not to think of what you’d like to eat. “I’m going to try to get up.” But he was nude. Damn. He glanced up at Ryder. It had been so easy and comfortable last night. Now he’d like to crawl under a rock.
Ryder did
n’t meet his eyes. “Uh, need help?”
“No, thanks. I’ll try it on my own. If I have trouble, I’ll call, okay?” Call, as in from a distance.
“Great. I’ll finish breakfast. Make sure you call if you need me.” He scampered away like a scalded cat, no insult to Aloysius.
The screen didn’t cover much. Sammy slid his bare legs over the side of the bed. No nausea or spinning. Good. He felt like he could sleep for a year. The angel charm banged against his chest like a monstrous whisper. Just what he needed, a reminder of the bastard.
Sammy pushed up from the bed, made it to his feet, and grabbed the dresser for support. Of course, he was bare-assed. He grabbed a rumpled shirt from the floor where he’d dropped it last night and put it on and then hunched so it covered his dick. Must look pretty funny. He made a dash for the bathroom and closed the door.
Weird. Ryder washed me last night, and today I don’t want him to see my bare butt. Of course, if Ryder wanted to see it, that would change things a lot. Fat chance.
He brushed his teeth, peed, and washed his face and hands. Clothes? He’d left some jeans in a heap on the floor sometime yesterday. Rumpled, but they’d cover the bottom half of his birthday suit. He put them on commando, then peered into his hamper for a less rumpled shirt and swapped it for the one he’d worn into the bathroom. Deep breath. Tiredness blurred the edges of his vision, but he had a little energy. Mostly due to Ryder and Aloysius—he’d be in really bad shape if it weren’t for them.
When he opened the bathroom door, the smell of toast made his stomach growl so loudly it practically echoed.
Ryder laughed. “That’s a good sign. Let’s get some food into you.”
He’d set two places on the coffee table, Sammy’s only eating area. A cup of coffee with cream already sat at one of the places, and black coffee sat at the other. Sammy swallowed his saliva. Ryder carried over two plates with scrambled eggs and toast with peanut butter. Gods, it smelled so good. “I’m really hungry.”
Ryder put down the plates, and Sammy sat on the couch edge, in front of the place with the creamed coffee. Ryder sat across from Sammy on a cushion on the floor. “Dig in.”
Sammy picked up the coffee cup like the answers to the mysteries of the universe lay at the bottom of it. He sipped. Oh man. Bitter and sweet at the same time.
“Taste good?”
“Drug of choice.”
He set down the cup and dug into the eggs. In about one minute—gone.
Ryder sipped his coffee. “Want some more?”
“Is there more?”
“Yep. I made extra just in case.”
Fifteen minutes later he’d consumed another plate of eggs, two pieces of toast, and two cups of coffee. Aloysius had half of Ryder’s eggs and sat on the floor washing his paws, then climbed on Ryder’s lap and curled up. Sammy leaned back on the lumpy couch. “Man, I feel better.”
Ryder smiled. “Good.”
“Because of you. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“No reason to thank me. I wanted to help.”
The word leaped out of Sammy’s mouth. “Why?”
Ryder looked surprised. “You’re my friend. I value you.” His jaw set. “And I won’t let anyone hurt you if I can help it. I wish I’d been there earlier. I wish I could have stopped him.” Tears glistened in his eyes.
“There’s nothing you could have done. I was the idiot for trusting him. You tried to warn me.”
“I should have tried harder.” Ryder stared down into his coffee cup, the brown mane falling around his beautiful face. Sammy wanted to paint him just like that.
The silence stretched out to a minute. The giant sleeping-together-in-the-near-nude elephant took up most of the space in the room. No way Sammy was bringing it up. But hells, he wanted to know why. Why had Ryder done it?
Ryder emptied his cup. “Guess I better go and get ready for class tomorrow. I have some studying for Dr. Barth.”
“Okay, yeah. Sounds good.”
Ryder looked up. “Unless you need me. Do you?”
Hells, yes. Sammy needed Ryder to hold him and press his silky skin against him and kiss his hair. “No, I’m good.”
“You sure?”
No. “Yes.”
“I’ll just clean up.” Ryder nudged Aloysius aside. The cat gave him an annoyed look and jumped onto the couch as Ryder got up and started carrying plates into the kitchenette. Sammy grabbed his plate and cup and followed Ryder, who was running water into the sink.
Sammy scraped a crust of toast into the garbage can. “You don’t have to do that. I’m up to it, thanks to you.”
“No problem.”
Aloysius watched them with a “see the funny humans” expression.
Ryder washed and Sammy dried. There were only a couple of plates, so it was a quick job. Ryder wiped his hands and looked around. He dropped the towel, went into the sleeping corner, and started straightening the bed.
Sammy laughed. “Hey, my bed will die of shock if it’s not messy.”
Ryder smiled but kept on pulling sheets. Could he be stalling? Finally the bed looked neat, and Ryder stood there staring down at the blankets, some kind of war being waged. But what was the battle?
Ryder raised his head. “Guess I’ll go.”
“Okay.”
Ryder walked around the screen and stopped in front of the canvas with his portrait on it. “Why did you paint this?”
Tough one. What should he say? The truth will out. “You’re beautiful, Ryder.”
Ryder’s head snapped up. Sammy heard his intake of breath. “Thanks. Well, see you at school.” Without a pause, he walked out the door.
Chapter Seven
SAMMY SANK to the floor in front of the easel, and Aloysius came over and started licking his hand. It felt like someone had stuck a butter knife in his heart and was turning it slowly.
“What the hells just happened?”
“Merwaor.”
Sammy hung his head between his bent legs. “Why did he come here? He could have warned me at school. Why did he care for me and sleep with me? Oh gods, Al, why did he hold me?” Heat pressed behind his eyes. “I never wanted anyone else. Not even Lucien. Even if Lucien had been the most faithful boyfriend on earth, I didn’t really want him. I’ve always wanted Ryder, and that’s stupid and useless like everything. And now he’s made it worse.” Sammy collapsed on his back, holding his stomach. “Why did he do it? Why did Ryder—”
The front door flew open with a crash against the wall, and in two steps Ryder stood in the middle of the room. “Am I beautiful to you? Am I, Sammy?”
Sammy sat up. He couldn’t catch his breath. “Yes. You always have been.”
Ryder stared at Sammy, his green eyes like emerald lasers. In a big step, he cleared the space between them, reached down for Sammy, and pulled him to his feet. “Good, because I’m sick of pretending you’re not beautiful to me.” He dropped his head and covered Sammy’s mouth with his perfect lips.
Sammy’s mouth fell so far open in astonishment that Ryder’s tongue slipped right in. Does he know what he’s doing? Has he lost his friggin’ mind? Do I care? Hells, no. He wrapped his arms around Ryder’s neck and sucked that sweet tongue into his throat. No strawberries. Just Ryder deliciousness. His new favorite flavor.
Somewhere in the background, Aloysius began to purr so loud the neighbors must have heard him.
Sammy let his tongue dance with Ryder’s. The man really knew how to kiss, but the idea that it was Ryder he was kissing practically made Sammy faint. His cock stood at full attention, but he tried to keep his hips away from Ryder. Didn’t want to scare him.
Until Ryder gripped Sammy’s butt with strong hands and pulled him tight against a rigid pole in his jeans. Oh yeah, he recognized the cock he’d tried so hard not to feel last night. But now he’d gotten a full-on invitation. He raised a leg and hooked it over Ryder’s hip to get closer. Ryder grabbed his calf and pulled Sammy even tighter until the ridges of their cocks
were rubbing together hard and hot. Sammy pulled his head away from the kiss. “Is this really happening?”
Ryder pressed his lips against Sammy’s ear. “Believe it. I could barely keep my cock out of your ass last night. I wanted to fuck you so bad I was hard all night.”
“I thought you were sleeping.”
“No, dreaming of pushing my dick inside you. Can I, Sammy? Can I?”
“How fast can we get to the bed?”
Ryder picked Sammy up. “Last night I was practicing.” He laughed. It only took a few steps to get to the bed. Ryder laid his burden gently on the straightened covers, unfastened Sammy’s fly, and dragged the jeans down his hips. Then he stopped and stared. “I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long. Seeing your cock.”
“You saw it last night.”
“But I didn’t think I could have it then.”
Sammy’s head was going to explode. “I had no idea you wanted it. Aren’t you straight?”
Ryder grinned. “Never.”
“Then why in hell have you been drooling over every pair of tits in New York?”
“It’s complicated. Can I fuck you now and explain later? My cock hurts.”
“Mine too.” Whatever the explanation was, would he regret not knowing sooner? Hells, no. “Fuck me, Ryder.” Three words he’d previously only said in his dreams.
“Have you got supplies?”
“Top drawer.” Sammy waved at the dresser.
Ryder rummaged around and came up with some condoms and a bottle of lube. He looked at them with wide eyes, then sat on the edge of the bed. Sammy’s cock stuck up like a flagpole through the flaps of his shirttails, and Ryder eyed it and licked his lips. “Truth is, I haven’t done this a lot. Maybe I should ask if you top or bottom.”
“You said you wanted to fuck me. Do it.”
Ryder looked serious. “Are you sure you won’t be bothered by, you know, him?”
For a minute Sammy had forgotten about “you know, him.” “No. I want your light to chase his darkness.”