by Jenna Bush
Get help if you need it
If you have been raped or sexually assaulted, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) recommends that you take these steps:
Go to a safe place. Ask a friend or adult to stay with you.
Don’t shower, brush your teeth, use the toilet, or change your clothes. These activities can erase evidence.
Call and report the attack to authorities. Call 9-1-1 to report to the police if you have been raped or sexually assaulted. You can also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE to help you understand what to expect if you decide to report the crime.
Get medical attention quickly. In addition to having your physical injuries treated, you can talk to a professional about the risk of STIs and pregnancy.
Have a doctor or nurse perform a “rape kit.” This exam collects evidence such as hair and fibers. Having a rape kit done does not mean you have to report the crime—that’s your decision to make when you’re ready. But the evidence will be there if you do choose to report the sexual assault or rape.
Talk to someone. No matter how long ago the attack occurred, talking about it can help. You can find a counseling center near your home by visiting the following website: tools.rainn.org/bin/counseling-centers.
It’s still abuse if…
Abuse isn’t always sexual. If you’re being hurt in any way, anywhere, don’t keep silent. Whether it’s a girlfriend, boyfriend, or older adult in your life, no one has the right to threaten, hurt, or overpower you either physically or emotionally. If you are being abused, here’s what you can do:
CONFIDE IN SOMEONE YOU TRUST.
Talk to a parent or family member, a friend, a friend’s parent, a teacher, a coach, a religious leader, or someone else you can trust. You can also contact a local youth services agency. To find one near you:
Visit www.childhelp.org/get_help/local-phone-numbers.
Call the Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD.
BULLYING IS ABUSE, TOO.
Like other forms of abuse, bullying continues—unless someone stops it. If you’re being bullied in school, at sports practice, in the neighborhood, or on the internet, Stop Bullying Now suggests the following ways you can help put a stop to it:
Talk to your parents, teachers, or coaches.
If you can, stay away from the bullies until the bullying stops.
Ignore your bullies as much as you can. Don’t respond to emails, but print them out and save them to show to an adult.
Stay calm. Bullies want to upset you. Stick up for yourself if it feels safe, then walk away.
Find out more at http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp
It’s not just about you
Protecting yourself can also help protect those you love. Making the decisions about sex that are right for you, whether it’s abstinence or practicing safe sex when you’re ready, also protects your partners. While you need to protect yourself, you also have an obligation to protect others when it comes to sex. Don’t be selfish or careless, and be honest with your sexual partner—relationships are a two-way street in every way.
Be a friend
Anyone who has been sexually assaulted—or is being abused in any way—needs friends. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do or say. RAINN and the Teen CASA have a few suggestions for helping a friend who is working through tough times.
LISTEN AND OFFER SUPPORT.
Don’t judge, and don’t feel you have to say something. Let your friend do the talking, and don’t betray the trust.
GET HELP.
It’s best if someone who has been raped is examined as soon as possible, whether they plan to report the crime or not. Call your local hospital to find out if it has a SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner) or SAFE (sexual assault forensic examiner).
If your friend decides to report the rape or abuse to the police or authorities, be there for them. You can go to the police station or make the call to 9-1-1.
GET INFORMATION.
Put together a list of counseling centers, hotlines, and websites that provide information and help with recovery. Let your friend contact them when he or she is ready, or offer to make a call or do more research for specific advice about how to help in this particular situation.
REPORT BULLYING.
Let a teacher, coach, or parent know that someone is being bullied. You shouldn’t encourage mean behavior; get help from an adult and put a stop to bullying in your school.
*Source: Texas Association Against Sexual Assault—www.taasa.org/teens/default.php
WEBSITES AND HELP LINES
Maybe you’re in crisis or just curious about health or how you can help. No matter what kind of information you’re looking for, you can go to reliable sources to get advice and answers. Here are a few you might want to check out.
adolescentaids.org
Adolescent AIDS Program,
Children’s Hospital at Montefiore
Montefiore Medical Center will answer all your questions about HIV/AIDS testing, including why it’s important and what you can expect. There’s even a clickable map so you can find a testing center in or near your community.
hivtest.org
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
How do you know if you’re HIV-positive? Get tested. You can learn about the different types of tests and type in your ZIP code to find a testing center near you. You’ll also get the 4-1-1 on National HIV Testing Day.
acsa-caah.ca
Canadian Association for Adolescent Health
Whether you’re looking for information on your mental, physical, sexual, or social health, if it’s a part of your life, it’s probably covered here. Alongside discussions of condoms and STIs, you’ll get the scoop on sports, homework, and the teen social scene and how they affect your health.
childhelp.org
Childhelp
This resource is for young people who are being abused or know someone who is. With tips and articles, resources, a child abuse quiz, and the misconceptions and facts about what happens when someone reports an incident, you’ll get important information to identify and prevent all kinds of abuse.
iliveup.com
Live Up: Love.Protect.Respect
Set to a calypso beat, this Caribbean media campaign hopes that youth action and activism will help stop the spread of HIV/AIDS in the region. The Play Safe area features games, quizzes, and animation, and Talk About It allows you to submit your own poems, artwork, videos, and personal story.
rainn.org
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
The most comprehensive online resource for information about sexual assault, RAINN’s online library highlights statistics, types of sexual assault and their effects, prevention, and the laws that can help you.
stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov
Stop Bullying Now!
You may be getting bullied, or maybe you’re the bully. Either way, the bullying needs to stop. With animated podcasts and games, this site has a lot of information about why kids bully and what to do about it if you see it, feel it, or do it.
No computer? Want to talk to someone now?
Whether you’re in crisis, just want to talk, or have a question, getting help and advice is a phone call away. As scary as that call can be, it’s important to get the information and help you need to stay safe and healthy.
1-888-988-TEEN
Break the Cycle
For twelve-to twenty-four-year-olds and the people who love them, this service provides legal advice, counsel, and referrals to teens and young adults who are wondering what to do about an abusive relationship.
1-800-4-A-CHILD
Child Abuse Hotline
Professionals answer calls twenty-four hours a day, offering counseling and resources and assisting youth who wish to report abuse. The hotline provides translations in 140 languages.
1-800-656-HOPE
National Sexual Assault Hotline
The Rape, Abuse & Incest
National Network’s free and confidential hotline operates 24/7. The hotline has answered more than one million calls from sexual assault victims as well as their families, partners, and friends.
WHAT’S THE REAL DEAL?
TEN MYTHS ABOUT HIV/AIDS
VIVIAN MERCEDES LÓPEZ
Regional Senior HIV/AIDS Specialist
UNICEF Latin America and the Caribbean Regional Office
MARK CONNOLLY
Senior Adviser
UNICEF Latin America and the Caribbean Regional Office
1. You can tell if someone has HIV.
Truth: You cannot tell if someone has HIV by looking at them. No symptoms develop immediately after the initial infection, so most people with HIV are unaware that they have become infected. But it is often right after initial infection that the person is most infectious and can transmit HIV to someone else, even though they look and feel healthy.
2. There is no need to get an HIV test.
Truth: Knowing your HIV status is your right and your obligation to yourself and others. If you know your HIV status, you can get early care treatment if you are positive, and if you are negative, keep practicing safe behavior to stay negative. The majority of people with HIV do not know that they have the virus, and that perpetuates the spread of the infection. Knowledge is power and prevention.
3. AIDS isn’t a problem in the United States.
Truth: It is estimated that more than one million people are living with HIV in the United States. AIDS was first identified in the United States in 1981. In the late 1990s the rate of AIDS diagnoses slowed down, but between 2001 and 2005 the estimated number of diagnoses has been increasing a little each year.
4. Only homosexuals are affected by AIDS.
Truth: HIV/AIDS is a disease that affects humans. Both sexes are vulnerable to HIV infection. Worldwide, the most common form of infection is through unprotected heterosexual sex. In fact, globally, there are about 17.7 million women living with HIV, and 2.3 million children (under age fifteen). Adolescent girls are at increased risk of HIV infection through sex for many reasons, including biological susceptibility, having sex with older men, not recognizing their partners’ risk behaviors, or because of their vulnerability to violence, abuse, or rape.
5. There’s a cure for AIDS.
Truth: There is no cure for HIV/AIDS, but AIDS does not equal death. You can live a long time with HIV before developing AIDS, especially if you have access to ARVs (antiretroviral drugs). There has been a lot of progress in the development of these drugs, but ARVs are not a cure. Many people claim to have cures, but the sad fact is that the cure does not yet exist.
6. Condoms don’t protect you from HIV.
Truth: If you are sexually active, then condoms are the best way to protect yourself from HIV infection. When used correctly and consistently, condoms can provide an effective barrier, blocking the pathway of HIV during sexual activities. If you are on “the pill,” DepoProvera, or Norplant, you still need to use condoms to prevent getting HIV or other sexually transmitted infections. If you are having oral sex, you also need to use condoms. You can use male condoms and female condoms. Both need to be latex to have the maximum protection. Remember, HIV infection is preventable!
7. You can get HIV from kissing.
Truth: HIV does exist in saliva, but there is no evidence that the virus is spread through saliva and there are no confirmed cases of infection by kissing. You can’t get HIV from hugging, having meals and drinks, or sharing a bathroom with someone who is living with HIV. The body fluids that have high concentrations of HIV are primarily blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breast milk.
8. You can’t get HIV from someone on ARVs.
Truth: ARVs can help keep down the viral load in an HIV-positive person, and this will help keep them much healthier, but these drugs won’t keep someone living with HIV from infecting someone else with HIV.
9. Two HIV-positive people don’t need to use a condom if they’re having sex together.
Truth: Practicing safer sex is important for HIV-positive partners too. Reinfection can happen, and this could impair the impact of the ARV medicines if drug-resistant strains of HIV are passed on from one partner to another.
10. HIV-positive women can’t have children.
Truth: Women living with HIV can have children, and can have children who are not HIV-positive, thanks to medicines and special treatment that can be implemented to prevent HIV infection passing from the mother to the child. Without any interventions, though, between 25 and 30 percent of mothers will pass the virus to their newborn because HIV can be transmitted to an infant during the mother’s pregnancy, labor, or delivery and through breast-feeding.
DO YOU KNOW THE WHOLE STORY?
TEN MYTHS ABOUT ABUSE
CLARA SOMMARIN
Child Protection Specialist
UNICEF Latin America and the Caribbean Regional Office
1. Children are rarely abused sexually.
Truth: Unfortunately, child sexual abuse is more common than you think. It happens every day. Exact statistics are impossible to track because many cases are not reported.
2. If somebody abuses you, it’s your fault.
Truth: It is never your fault if you are abused. The abuser is responsible for his/her own behavior. It doesn’t matter what you wear, what you say, or what you do, no one has the right to abuse you verbally, physically, emotionally, or sexually.
3. Touching or fondling is not sexual abuse.
Truth: Sexual abuse is defined as the forcing of sexual acts by one person onto another. It may be in the form of fondling, touching, intercourse, or exposing sexual parts of the body.
4. Children are only sexually abused by strangers.
Truth: Statistics show that most sexual abuse is committed by someone the victim knows and trusts—a family member, family friend, or someone else close to the child.
5. Bullying is part of growing up. It’s not abuse and can’t hurt you.
Truth: Bullying is one of the most common forms of violence in our society. According to the National Education Association, an estimated 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. Bullying = abuse.
6. It is a parent’s right to discipline a child however they want.
Truth: No one—not even your parents—has the right to abuse you in any way. If you face any abuse at home, talk to a trusted adult and get help!
7. Abuse only occurs in poor and dysfunctional families.
Truth: Abuse can happen in families of all ethnicities and socioeconomic and educational backgrounds. Money, education, and appearances don’t necessarily protect anyone from abuse.
8. If you don’t talk about the abuse, it will go away.
Truth: Not talking about the abuse won’t make it go away. Memories may be temporarily blocked, but the effects will often surface later in life. Telling a trusted adult or a good friend will help you confront the situation, put a stop to the abuse, and begin the healing process.
9. You can always tell when a person has been abused.
Truth: Signs of sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse are less visible than those of physical abuse. Every individual has a unique reaction to abuse. Some withdraw, some become angry and aggressive, and many just want to forget about it so they pretend it never happened. That’s why talking about it is so important.
10. Children who are abused will abuse others when they grow up.
Truth: Many children and young people who have been victims of abuse heal and go on to lead normal lives like everyone else. Abuse in childhood does not automatically lead to aggressive behavior. However, being abused is not an excuse for becoming an abuser.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS FOR
Ana’s Story
Now that you have read about ways that you can make a difference, use these questions to discuss the important themes in the book while or after you read it. Bring them to literature circles or book clubs and start a dialo
gue about
Ana’s Story.
1. Ana’s prized possession is the photocopy of her mother’s photograph. Why is this so important to Ana? Do you have an item that you cherish? Why is it important to you?
2. In chapter five, Ana’s barrio (neighborhood) and her country are described. How is Ana’s community similar to yours? How is it different?
3. Her grandmother warns Ana not to tell anyone she has HIV. Do you feel this was for Ana’s own good or for another reason? What might her grandmother’s motives have been?
4. In chapter eight, Abuela tells Ana that boys and girls are sometimes asked to leave school because they are infected with HIV. In what ways do their teachers violate their rights? Have you ever witnessed discrimination, and how did it make you feel?
5. Those boys and girls are excluded from their right to an education. In what ways do you see exclusion in your school? How has exclusion affected you? How can you help those who are being excluded in your community?
6. Why do you think Ana is worried about telling anyone that she’s HIV-positive? Which events in the book create the feeling of fear of disclosing her secret? If you were Ana, would you tell? Why or why not?
7. After Abuela and Ernesto fight, Ana plays a game she calls Orphan. Why do you think Ana does this? In what other ways does Ana use her imagination to cope?
8. How do you feel about Abuela’s response when Ana tells her that Ernesto has inappropriately touched her and Isabel? Do you think she really didn’t believe her? How do you think Abuela should have responded? Why?