Unwrapping the fish, she sighed in relief when she noted they were already cleaned and ready for the grill. She grabbed some sea salt and lemon pepper from the spice rack, and seasoned both sides with a liberal hand. Lighting the outdoor kitchen’s grill then grabbing a head of lettuce from the refrigerator, she turned up the television on the wall and listened to the local news as background noise.
Just as she threw the fish into the butter, sizzling merrily inside the frying pan, Sean appeared at the front door. “Something smells wonderful,” he commented. “What’s for dinner?”
“Pan seared rainbow trout with green salad and fresh bread,” Cassie answered. “Do you want to grab some wine?”
As she finished up the rest of dinner, he set the table and pulled out a light pinot from a well-stocked wine cooler as tall as Sean himself. When they sat down to eat, she grinned to herself. A proper dinner like normal married people didn’t happen in their household very often, even when they were together. Usually they ended up with carry out food, both too tired for cooking. The food was wonderful, and the wine allowed the tension in her shoulders to drain away.
“Penny for your thoughts, my lovely lass,” Sean queried as he helped clear the plates and load the dishwasher. “You’ve been more quiet than usual.”
“I’ve just been thinking how nice this will be, living as normal people. We really should have given this a try much sooner.” The smile on her face shared the sarcasm with her voice.
“Isn’t this what we’re doing now, love?” he teased in return.
“I certainly hope so.” She poured more wine into both their glasses.
“Now Cassie.” He frowned. “You don’t need to be drinking that much. You still have a butt load of Oxy in your system. We don’t need any overdosing around here.”
“I promise no more than what is in this glass.”
Taking their drinks down the stairs with them, Sean turned the lighting down to a more romantic level, and set the stereo to a soft jazz channel. They lay down together on the lounger and studied the stars in the deep black sky. Soon her eyes began to droop and she snuggled against Sean’s side.
“Are you being a cheap drunk again, my love? What am I going to do with you?”
She smiled lazily and held her arms out. “Anything you want.”
Sean leaned close, his lips brushing against her cheek with the lightest of touch. His fingertips ran ever so gently along the line of her jaw to the hollow of her neck, then lower until pausing between her breasts. She quivered with anticipation of his next move, and her skin rose and fell under her strained need. Her hand ran up his abs, the nails scratching and raising goose bumps on his arms.
****
“Slowly, Cass. It’s been way too long since I held you in my arms and made love to you. It may require more restraint than I want to employ.” Sean closed his eyes and counted to twenty in every language he knew until the blood stopped pounding in his ears and he knew she was no longer in danger from his uncontrolled excess.
“How do you put up with my neurosis?” she marveled running her fingers through his hair. “Any other man would have plowed ahead without thinking about my feelings at all. But you always remember me; the things that have happened before that require patience don’t bother you. That’s just one of the many wonderful things I admire. You always remember.”
His lips demanded she quiet down and answer his unspoken question. Her mouth parted and his tongue darted between her teeth. Cassie moaned in the back of her throat and he almost lost control again. Damn she was a good kisser. Every moment he probed her mouth and let his fingertips caress her jawline, he felt his heat grow dangerously out of control.
With expert fingers Sean undid the buttons of her shirt and slid it off her shoulders. He pulled the straps from her shoulder and slid one hand under to cup each breast in its turn as he freed them from the constraints of her bra. Free of the offending undergarment, he fell to worshiping the perfection of her body.
His lips pressed lightly against her neck, then pulled back as his tongue slid down her chest before tracing a circle around her navel, then back up again to circle each nipple. Sean always loved her breasts, or at least he claimed. They were just the perfect size, and although one was slightly smaller than the other, Cassie was proud of them as well. He lay his head down on her heart, listening to the steady beat, all the while running his hands up and down her taut stomach.
“You know I love you Cass, more than I can ever express to you?” Sean raised his face and stared in her bright blue eyes. “But I’m not going to press you. If you want to, eh…”
“Thank you Sean. It means so much to me that you’re letting me make the decision.”
“You need to regain your power. You’ve lost a big round to your father and Greg. You’re bruised and wounded and feeling pretty vulnerable. But that’s okay; I wouldn’t expect anything else after what’s happened. Once you’re ready to be mine again, I’ll be there. But we need to make sure you’re not just gut reacting to the situation. I won’t be a boy toy to keep your brain too busy to remember days long gone. Keep your mind focused on us for a while Cassie, please? This is a safe place. I’m safe.”
She laughed while running her fingers through his hair. “You sound like a shrink.”
“I did study psychology at Cambridge, along with military history,” Sean confessed.
“I should have known, to make you a better operative, right?”
“Well you can’t defeat what you don’t understand. Even the ancients knew the beauty and allure of the well informed assassin. But that’s in the past. All my psych work now will be used to make you whole again.”
When he leaned in to kiss her, Cassandra grabbed his neck and pulled him tight. Sean slid under her to lay on the lounger. Cassie straddled him and his hands undid the button on her pants. Her hands massaged his chest and he knew she could feel the proof of her effect on him pulsing below her crotch. She grinned at his obvious disloyal body, and ground her heated dampness against his cock, causing them both to burst out into loud and happy laughter.
As soon as Cassie could breathe again, she gasped out, “Only I could laugh at a hard on!”
Sean pulled her down onto his chest. Growling at her he ordered, “Stay put and you’ll see what this hard on wants from you.”
She bent down and bit on his bottom lip, then nibbled her way down the line of his throat to the scar above his heart. Cassie didn’t hesitate but ran her lips lightly around the jagged perimeter of the wound. Sean sighed heavily and pulled her tight to his chest. “I don’t feel anything around there. It’s just a dead zone.”
“I’m so sorry Sean. Does it bother you for me to touch it?” She prodded at the edges with one fingernail, tracing the line as it twisted to and fro across his chest.
He shook his head. “No, there’re no nerve endings in the skin. They are supposed to grow back but it hasn’t happened yet.”
“That’s weird. Is it the same inside and on your back as well?”
He shook his head, sadness and loss washing his face with pain. “There is nothing.”
She looked at him from underneath lids heavy with sleep and desire. “I love you, Sean. What’s to stop us from moving to the wilds of Canada or Ireland and starting over? Somewhere faraway from revenge and betrayal. We’re both scarred, inside and out. When does it get to be our turn?”
“Well for one thing, it’s hard for us to hide when you look like the bride of Frankenstein with all those bandages.”
“Ha, ha,” she intoned.
Sean grabbed her by the back of the head, pulling her down to the lounger. In a flash their positions were reversed. She reached up with steady hands to undo his pants. He closed his eyes and moaned when she suddenly leaned forward and kissed his bare abdomen while her fingers clutched at his ass.
“Oh God, Cassie,” Sean whispered. “What are you doin’ to me woman?!”
“Nothing.”
“Well then nothing wil
l get you in trouble if you aren’t careful.”
“Sean, do you know how wild that sentence sounds?”
“Love, with you lying inches from my penis, it’s a miracle I have any blood in my brain to think at all. Now, can I get on with seducing you or will you be protesting any longer?” Sean ended his question by taking one nipple in his teeth and nibbling.
“I want you to get on with seducing me. I’m quite enjoying your attention.”
With a sudden whisk of his arms, Sean pulled her pants off and threw them on the ground. The light from the fireplace made their reflections in the bullet proof wall appear smudged and watery. Outside a steady snow began, blanketing silence over the mountains and valleys. Before returning to Cassie, he threw more wood on the fire. In the brighter glow her skin showed as smooth ivory porcelain. Quickly he shed his own pants and joined her.
Pulling her to him, Sean wavered as again he focused on the bruises from her beating at the hands of Tsichevna, especially along the neck, ribs, and stomach. He smiled and whispered to her. “Are you ready for this, or do I just up and go watch television until I pass out either from drinking or boredom?”
“Don’t you dare turn on the television now.” Her nails grasped his shoulders, raking down his chest to the abdomen and lower; the light edge of pain set Sean’s teeth on edge and his blood to full boil.
He bit down on her nipple, using his free hand to gently massage the other breast. Her back arched in response to his attention and a gasp escaped, indicating her extreme pleasure at his attentions. Sean’s hand then began to wander down her belly to the warm spot that pulsed with need for him. As his fingers found the way to their desired prize, Cass quivered in anticipation of bliss. But Sean altered that, changing the mood with one sentence.
“I need you to say you forgive me, Cassie.”
Chapter Ten
December 1st, 11:30 p.m.—North Carolina
In Hiding
“Why do you want me to say it so badly?” Cassie murmured into his ear. “What does that do for you? It’s all history anyway.”
“It tells me you know you’re still in a bad place and need me, that you’re not having a knee jerk reaction to what’s happened in the past few days. It means you want me, not just someone to block your memories of a piss poor childhood and a brutal betrayal, and I don’t mean just this time with Tsichevna. It means you love me, not that you need a quick fuck to rebuild your self-esteem.” Sean grabbed her head and made her look into his eyes. “But most of all it will mean you’ve forgiven me for leaving and not being here when you miscarried.”
“Sean…” Cassie’s voice caught in her throat. “Wow, you sure know how to kick a girl when she’s hurting. I had no idea you felt this bitter.”
“I learned how to damage the ones I care for from the best.” He smiled at her, love radiating through his chest. “It isn’t how I wanted things between us to start again, but these words have to be said. You left and never said a word. We, I, need to reconcile this and find a way to move on with no regrets.”
Cassie closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her still bandaged nose. “For too long I blamed everyone else for my unhappiness and ran away as fast as possible when things got serious or hard. Even when I thought I was being noble and supportive, I was really being petty and cruel. I know the difference now; I didn’t then. I haven’t been a very good wife in the past, but then I never had a good role model.”
Sean kissed her gently, cutting her words short. Her arm snaked around his waist, pulling him close. Her skin against his sent shards of emotion stabbing into every corner of his soul. For the first time in months, he let go of the bitterness and loneliness and opened his heart to forgive.
“And…?” He placed soft kisses on her skin, working around to the nape of her neck.
“I’ve held my resentments against you, long after saying I’d let them go. It was easier to blame you for my pain than to look at myself in too bright a light. I couldn’t love you because inside I didn’t feel I deserved you.” He felt her body shaking as if sobbing while he continued his trip around her body. “It never occurred to me you might hurt just as bad as I did.”
He paused with a gentle nip between her breasts and looked up. “We left each other alone with our individual pain, forgetting how to rely on our love for strength. I discovered that little truth lying alone on a stretcher in the desert waiting for a helicopter. There wasn’t a doubt in anyone’s mind I was gone, the last rites were conducted by some village shaman and things were bad, but I wouldn’t let go. I couldn’t let myself die without seeing you again and letting you know how much I love you.”
With a swiftness that frightened him, Sean swept Cassie into his arms, ripping away whatever remnants of clothing they both possessed. The last vestiges of restraint gave way, and he slid his hands down her hip to pull her leg over his. He felt her quivering underneath and managed to pause long enough to look for what could be the matter.
Through her tears, love and need shone with fresh desire from her eyes, those eyes that had pulled him to her for more than seven years. “I forgive you.”
That one simple sentence ran through him like a laser. With tenderness and need his lips continued their trip down her abdomen. His fingers located her slit and the heat from her body burned his skin to the point of no return. Sliding one finger inside he wasn’t surprised to find her already slick.
With a patience Sean didn’t know he possessed, he pressed the head of his cock against her, afraid she would freak out and run away now that he was at the point of no return. But instead Cassie pulled on his hips, which suited him fine. He longed to be buried in her warmth. Sliding, inch by inch until he touched the spot deep inside he remembered so well, it felt as if he were home at last.
She gasped and locked her ankles around his waist. Her nails dug into his thighs as they began moving together in the fulfillment of their need. Sean tried to be gentle, but months of self-enforced celibacy worked against his good intentions. He needed her so badly, it was a physical pain that threatened to blind him to Cassie and her need to feel worthy.
“Holy shit,” he moaned quietly, unwilling to move and spoil the intense feelings currently racing through his veins. “I forgot how good this feels.”
“Me too,” Cassie agreed. “But don’t stop.”
“Not for anything,” Sean promised fervently as he leaned closer to kiss her again. “All I want is this moment to go on forever.”
She giggled with a deep, seductive murmur. “Well that depends on you, my wild Irishman.”
In response, Sean rolled her onto her side, and thrust inside again as the change in position tightened her muscles around him. Her nipples crinkled and he used one hand to pinch each tightly for a quick pain response. Her gasp in reply tightened his balls against his groin, and he slowed down, teasing her by drawing almost all the way out with maddening slowness.
“Sean, don’t tease me when you know how I need you,” she panted.
“I need you too,” he groaned. He lay down on the bed, rolling Cassie onto him. Holding her hips, he guided her onto his upright shaft. One hand slid between them, rubbing her clit with his thumb, as the other caressed her breasts. It was becoming difficult for him to withhold, but the look on Cassie’s face told him she was approaching her first orgasm.
He was entranced by the pleasure expressed in every line of her face, her passion driving her down upon him and bringing the physical gratification Sean was attempting to hold off for himself. As the first spasm crested, Cassie threw her head back to groan and shudder through as the waves of ecstasy released her body’s rigid self-control. Her jaw hung slack and she braced her hands against his chest, shuddering as each crested and ebbed. The bruises and bandages only made her sexier.
At that moment, there was nothing he’d ever seen lovelier than his wife. It was a memory such as this he’d carried with him through every mission the past seven years, the memories that kept him going when the
odds weren’t always in his favor. The rush they got from the complete freedom she allowed herself with Sean was a drug to both of them. When the last spasm wracked her frame, he hooked one leg over hers and rolled Cassie onto her back. He paused to stare into her refocusing eyes, now flush from the hormonal infusion released during her orgasm.
“Feeling better, love?” He nuzzled her breast as he slowly resumed his own motion. Cassie had her reward, now it was his turn.
“I’ll never tire of making love with you,” she purred as his tongue made lazy circles around each nipple. “Your body is made for me. No one ever made me feel this way, just you.”
Sean altered his rhythm, slowly speeding up as he worked toward his own release, hoping to bring Cassie along with him. Her eyes closed as she responded to his thrusts. The walls of her core tightened and squeezed on his shaft. After a few minutes, the skin of his sac crinkled and drew up against his body. His vision went pure white as every nerve in his body sent its charge into his cock, and he cried out in relief just as Cassie began her second orgasm.
Finally, Sean collapsed onto the lounger alongside her, breathing heavily and laughing with the relief of knowing she was safe in his arms, and the enemies they shared seemed very far away. Cassie curled up against his side and drifted off to sleep. Sean stayed awake for a while, watching the night sky overhead and praying for a different outcome for them this time.
****
Sometime after midnight it began to snow in earnest. Sean carried the still sleeping Cassie into the bedroom. She roused up though, as he slid her onto the cold sheets, protesting the loss of warmth.
“Shh, love,” Sean murmured. “I lit a fire in here, so snuggle up to me until you feel warmer.”
“I had a bad dream.” She seemed confused with their change of location, staring around in all directions.
Welcome to the Family Page 11