by t. h. snyder
Chapter 4
One Week Later
“You fucking son of a bitch, I told you I would kill you. Who do you think you are? Some hot shit kid that thinks he’s someone of importance? You’re nothing, Cliff, nothing do you hear me?”
“Yeah, I hear you,” I reply through gritted teeth.
Raphael continues to kick me as I’m forced down onto the ground, his men surrounding the two of us as they witness the beating. I know he won’t last much longer. He’s out of breath, his words are slurred, and eventually he’s going to fall flat on his face. The man has one of the shortest tempers of anyone I’ve ever meant. No one intentionally tries to piss him off or cross him. He’s just a fucking prick. Ever since I was put in charge of his territory, he’s found pleasure in attempting to make my life a living hell. Not my problem he couldn’t bring in the same amount of cash I do. He’s a snake, a thief and a man that would rather take his aggression out on others than do his damn job.
I could really care less, I’ve taken my fair share of swings in his direction, but today was different. It was more of a set up than anything else and now I’m tied up and served as his first course of revenge.
Another kick hits me hard in the ribs, my vision starting to waver in and out. Right now, I really wish he’d just kick me in the head so that I pass out. It would make this easier on the both of us, but no matter what, I refuse to show him that I’m internally suffering. The more he sees that his torment doesn’t faze me in the slightest, the angrier he becomes. You’d think that he would eventually realize that this does nothing to me.
For the past few years, I’ve learned to erase all emotion from my expressions. I refuse to feel pain and I’ll never give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that I’m hurting inside. Yes, the fucking pain of his steal tip boot in my side hurts like a bitch, but if not for the blood dripping out of my mouth, he’d actually believe I was enjoying his torture.
“Raphael,” a voice shouts from a distance.
Quick movement begins to sound in the opposite direction. I can’t see a damn thing. All I can hear is the shuffling of shoes against the hard floor. Trying to move with the pain in my side, it’s almost impossible. At this point I’m face down on the concrete floor within the warehouse.
The irony is lost on me considering this is the exact spot I was to pick up my shipment of drugs for weekly distribution.
Attempting to turn my head in the direction of the sound, I still can’t see the man behind the voice. Men are standing in all directions and I can’t for the life of me make out what the hell is going on.
“Get him to his feet, now,” the voice demands.
“Yes, Mr. Sabatino,” a few voices respond.
Within seconds, my body is lifted from the ground and I’m standing face to face with the boss. I’ve heard of him, but never been in his presence. He’s a tall, dark haired Italian man with a vicious past. Dressed in a grey pin stripped suit, he crosses his arms against his chest and stands toward me with determination and power in his eyes.
“Mr. Benjamin, I wish I could say that it’s a pleasure meeting you, but under these circumstances that’s not the case.”
Unsure as to why I’ve been brought here for him, my nerves become a bit uneasy.
With my hands still tied behind my back, I stand tall and shrug the hands of the men off my arms. No matter what is about to go down, I need to show that I’m fearless. I’m one of the best dealers in all of Miami. My profits alone outweigh his entire fleet of men.
“Do you have any idea how much grief you’ve caused me in the last twenty-four hours?” he asks.
I watch as he steps to the side and a man moves into his place, holding a revolver in his hand. He removes the safety and points the barrel in my direction.
Fear begins to course through me and I can feel the sweat beading up on my forehead. Not wanting to cause him to pull the trigger, I keep my eyes focused on Sabatino. The intense glare we’re sharing is riveting. I’m a dead man, yet I haven’t a clue as to why.
Perhaps I should speak up now . . . or forever I hold my peace.
“I don’t understand,” I respond.
As we continue our stare down, I watch through my peripheral vision as his partner in crime holds the weapon in my direction. Sweat begins to fall from my brow and a churning sensation builds within my stomach. I feel as though I’m about to be sick. Perhaps it’s the fear coursing through my veins, or the fact that I’m most likely internally bleeding.
“I’m ready when you are boss,” the fucking tool bag remarks as my eyes move to his.
Dark orbs stare back at me as I’m beginning to see my life flash in front of my face. The memory of the years I struggled to understand why my mother would choose her habit over her own flesh and blood run through my mind. As much as it pained me to watch her slowly kill herself, there was nothing I could do. Now, the man I’ve become is no better than the woman that gave birth to me.
He takes a step forward and I close my eyes as I attempt to swallow the golf ball sized lump in my throat.
“Wait,” Sabatino’s voice barks.
My eyes flash open to see his hand raised out in front of the other man.
“Why did you do it? Not that I really care, just curious. You were our best man. You had the world by the balls.”
Unsure as to what he’s referencing, my brows scrunch together. I don’t know what to say, I’m at a loss for words.
“No words?” he asks. “Suit yourself. Tony take care of him and be sure to clean up the mess when you’re all done. I’m out.”
With that, I watch as Sabatino walks away and realize my life is seconds from being a memory.
Closing my eyes once again, I begin to count to ten. These are the last ten seconds of my life so I want them to be at peace.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five . . .
The revolver goes off, my now limp body falling to the ground as a loud noise sounds from the doors of the warehouse. Voices shout through the large space, orders thrown in a million directions. There’s no way this is happening. How . . . why . . . what the fuck is going on? My world begins to spin, my heart beating so hard I feel as if it’s going to beat through my chest.
I bolt upright in my bed, sweat dripping from my face. With shaking hands, I run my fingers down my chest to my scar. The raised mark on my flesh is a constant reminder of the life I once lived. Even though ink now covers the once gaping hole, I’ll always know it’s there. I’ll never forget that day for as long as I live.
Resting my head in my hands, I fall into a trance reminiscing about the past few years. A lot has transpired since that day. I was given a second chance and there was no way in hell I was going back to that world. There was a full life ahead of me and I planned on living it with a clear head.
Once I moved back home to Birmingham there were a few things I needed. Starting fresh, I had to find a good job and a place to pour my heart and soul into my rehabilitation. Becoming a delivery driver wasn’t the dream job I had always wanted, but it helped to get me on my feet. I picked back up the pencil a few times and loved the sense of relaxation I felt creating works of art. I knew I had found my true passion. One night I decided I needed to draw a tattoo that would cover my wound. I couldn’t stand to see it anymore, it was too much . . . it had to be hidden like the rest of my memories. I wanted something inspirational, something with meaning, and something that would remind me that even though I was fighting a constant battle with myself, I was still able to overcome the demons that haunted me.
After I had exactly what I wanted, I set an appointment at the local tattoo shop. Being my first tattoo, I didn’t know what to expect. Anxiety filled my nerves as I walked through the front doors of the rundown building. I was like a kid in a candy store, my heart leaped as I scanned the walls of art. This was the place I was meant to be in. This was where artists created works that would forever mark the skin of the people who walked through their doors.
Handing the tattoo artist my d
rawing, he looked up to me and smiled. We spoke for a few moments about the piece and before I knew it, I was sitting in his chair.
Looking down at the phoenix on my chest, I admire my first tattoo and am honored that Cricket was the man who etched it into my flesh. I was a horrible person, a loser and a deviant, but I wanted a new life. The man I once was, is not who I am now. I’ve risen above the ashes and started anew. Some days it may not seem so, but I am striving to be a better man because of the ways in which I choose to live.
Cricket taught me a lot. He took me under his wing and showed me that a change in life was possible. I still miss him every day that he’s gone, he was the father I never had and the man I wanted to become. Thinking about all that he did for me, I can’t take back my past nor turn away from the recollections, but I can change and I’m determined to keep the life I now know and love.
I let out a heavy sigh and can hear his voice speaking loudly in my ears, “It’s time to get your shit together, Cliff . . . focus on moving forward not falling back into the past.”
Shaking my head, I need to get a grip on my reality. It was just a nightmare, but my memories are all coming back to me in full force and I don’t think I can live knowing that they’re after me again. I left. I ran. I started a new life. That was a part of my past I never thought would consume me again. I thought I was safe. Too much time has passed since the incident at the shop, the police should have something by now, but there’s nothing. No trace to a suspect, no idea as to whether or not my life—our lives—are in jeopardy. It scares the hell out of me that the crew could be in danger . . . because of my past.
As much as I want to come clean, share the tales of my past with them, I’m scared. I’m a coward. Right now, I don’t know which way is up or down. I feel like my world is falling apart right in front of my eyes and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
Trying to regain my composure from yet another nightmare flashback, I kick my legs off to the side of the bed and make my way to the bathroom. With my right hand, I flip the switch and the fluorescent lights come to life. As I step into the room, I glance at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is a twisted mess of brown sweaty strands. Running my fingertips through the mess, it’s no use. I need a shower and way to make this all go away. Light blue eyes stare back at me, deep into my soul. We all have pasts, I just never thought mine would come back to haunt me.
Today I’m making it my mission to get the answers I need. Someone has to know something, anything to give me a lead on who’s trying to get to me. It has to be one of Sabatino or Raphael’s men. I just need to do some investigating of my own. The smallest piece of information may help me to uncover who is here and who is watching us.
No matter what happens to me, I have to make sure that the crew is safe. Answers are what I need and revenge for whomever is after me. I will not lose. I will not go down without a fight.
Chapter 5
“Come on, lady, stay for a few more days or, hell, you’re welcome to stay longer if you’d like. It’s not like you have anything waiting for you at home.”
My eyes bulge out of my head as I give me sister the death stare. I appreciate her wanting me to stay, but she knows how hard things have been for me. It’s only been a little over a year since I lost Brody. Does she honestly think I don’t know what I’m not going home to?
“Kris . . . I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
I lift my hand into the air. I can’t even speak right now. The threat of tears is causing my eyes to burn. I don’t want to cry. I want to be strong. He’d want me to be brave.
The expression on her face shows me that she’s well aware she’s spoken out of line. Removing my glare from her face, I begin to twist my fingers in a tangled web upon my lap. My heart starts to hurt all over again as the tears begin to fall from my face. I can’t help it, when it comes to Brody I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to cope through life without him.
The couch cushion dips as she takes a seat next to me. Pulling me into her arms, she runs her hand up and down my back in a soothing gesture. The comfort of being here with her over the past week has been a huge help. She’s kept me busy and my mind free from thinking about going home. Now that the time has come, I’m scared to death of leaving. She’s right. I don’t have much of anything to go back to South Carolina. The house is just about empty and I still haven’t found an apartment to rent. Ugh! The more I think about leaving the more tears fall.
“Shh, it’s okay, sweetie. Let it all out. You’ve been so strong the past few days. It’s time to let the dam burst. I’m here for you, no matter what you decide to do. We’re sisters, always and forever.”
Leaning back from me, she pulls my long brown hair away from my face and wipes away the falling tears.
“I’m so sorry I’m a mess. I really am trying to keep my shit in check. I hate feeling like this. Will the pain ever go away, Jenn? I miss him so much it hurts.”
“I know it hurts, I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. All I can say is that it’ll take time. Brody was a huge part of your life and even though he’s gone, that won’t ever change. But you’re young, beautiful, and smart with your whole life ahead of you. Don’t stop living just because he’s not here with us anymore. He wouldn’t want you to do that . . . don’t ya think he’d want you to be happy?”
With hesitation, I look up to my sister’s face and nod. I don’t know how to go on without him, but she does have a point. I know that Brody wouldn’t want me to live my life in misery. He’d want me to be happy and carefree . . . the woman he knew and loved. I haven’t been that person in a long time. As much as it pains me to think this way, I have to move on. I have to find the things that once mattered to me.
“I think it’s time for me to find myself again, Jenn. I’ve wanted to; it’s just been so long since I focused on me and what I want out of life. I loved . . . no, I still love Brody and I planned to help him follow his dream of serving our country. I dropped out of school and was a stay at home wife for far too long. Can you help me find who I once was?”
Her hands rise into the air and she begins to clap. I can’t help but laugh as she beams with excitement. I haven’t a clue what’s going through her mind right now, but I can guarantee it’s going to be something interesting.
“I have the perfect plan, well not really, but I’ll totally come up with one. Christian asked if we wanted to go to dinner tonight. I say let’s go out, have a few glasses of wine and just laugh the night away. Tomorrow we’ll figure out what your next steps are and go from there.”
Taking a moment to think about it, I don’t see how it could cause any harm. If I say no, I’ll just sit here alone watching Netflix and most likely cry myself to sleep over some sappy ass romance movie. If I go, I’ll get out of this place and actually have the company of my sister and her boyfriend.
Hmmm . . . decision made, I have to get out and do something.
“Yes, I’m up for whatever. It’s about time I let my hair down a bit,” I say with a smile and a nod.
“Perfect!” she squeals getting up from the couch and moving into the kitchen. “I’ll just text him real quick to pick us up in an hour.”
Rising from the couch, I move to stand next to her, wrapping my arms around her neck and pulling her into a tight embrace.
“Thank you for being the best sister in the world. I’m so glad that Mom talked me into coming here for a visit. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
She squeezes me back and we stand in one another’s arms for a few minutes. I don’t know what is going to happen, but having her along for this journey of finding myself again is all I need to know that I really can do it.
Walking out of Jenn’s apartment, we are met on the curb by Christian. As soon as he sees us, he steps closer and pulls Jenn into his arms. I watch as they curl into one another and for a moment, I feel as though I may be a third wheel. I don’t want to interfere in their time together. Perhaps I sho
uld offer to stay back at her place so they can have some time alone.
Looking down at the ground, I ponder over what I should do. I think I saw the Notebook on Jenn’s shelf of Blu-Rays. I could really get lost in that one with a box of tissues.
My head snaps up as Christian’s hand grazes mine.
“You ready to go, sweetheart?” he asks moving his hand behind my back leading me to his car.
Guess I’m going with them after all.
Being the kindhearted gentleman Christian is, he opens the door and I slide into the back seat. Jenn turns around and flashes me her million-dollar smile. I return an attempt at a grin in her direction and turn my head to watch out the window as we pull away and head to dinner.
“So what are you ladies in the mood for? Etty mentioned that the crew may be heading over to Duke’s later tonight if you’re up for it.”
“Yes,” Jenn’s voice booms throughout the car. “We are totally getting Kris plastered. She’s agreed to let her hair down for a night, so we’re all in.”
She starts to giggle and I can’t help but smile looking up toward the front seat. I watch as she leans her head onto Christian’s shoulder and a pang of jealousy sweeps through me. Simple moments like this are the kinds I grieve for the most. I’m not a fancy girl. I don’t need material objects to make me happy. It’s the love and caring touch that I miss the most from Brody. I never needed him to perform those grand gestures. It just felt right when he’d hold my hand or pull me in close to him. He knew exactly what I needed when I wanted it the most. Some of the best memories I have of us are when we’d be sitting alone together in each other’s arms. The way he’d trace my face with his fingers, place gentle kisses along my jaw and sweep me off my feet with the way he’d look into my eyes. Those are the moments I’ll miss forever.
Releasing a heavy sigh, I turn my gaze out the window as the scenery flashes past the moving car. Alabama really is beautiful, at least during this time of the year. The trees are in full bloom, the blossoms budding and showing the most beautiful colors along the streets. I think maybe, just maybe, I could see myself staying here for a bit, if not wanting to live here eventually. It’s a lot to think about and a huge decision on my part. I know that it would make Mom and Jenn feel better knowing that I’m safe and close to family.