by t. h. snyder
I could really enjoy doing this for the rest of my life.
“Well, you look all comfy cozy nestled into the window over there,” Jenn remarks pouring her own fresh cup.
“Mm hmm, I am,” I respond not yet willing to move from this spot.
“That used to be my favorite place to sit with a good book and read, especially on a rainy day. There’s just something about listening to the drops of water hit the windowpane while having your nose stuck in an amazing story. It was relaxing to me . . . weird I know.”
“No not weird at all, it actually sounds wonderful.”
“It is, but I can see that you’re already in world of your own without the rain or a book. I’m going to jump in the shower quick.”
Silence fills the space again as I allow my body to melt into the window, soak up the rays of the sun and take a quick mid morning nap.
My body is trembling; my breathing labored. Oh my God what is happening?
A deep voice calls to me, but I can’t make out who it is or what he’s saying. My entire world is spinning so fast around me I can’t decide if I should stay or go.
His voice resonates through my ears; he’s telling me to leave, to stop trying to find him and instead find my own way.
Who is he?
Why is he telling me to leave?
Where does he want me to go?
My body jumps awake at the sound of Jenn’s phone. Shit, that dream . . . it’s the same as before, but different. What does it mean and why does it continue to play through my dreams? Her phone starts to ring again alerting me of the importance of the call. Clearing my thoughts for a moment, I quickly leap off the window bench and set my coffee mug onto the counter before running towards her bedroom door.
“Jenn, your phone is blowing up out here,” I shout out to her.
“Can you grab it, I’ll be out in a bit.”
Rushing back out to the living room, I move to the coffee table reaching for her phone.
“Hello,” I chirp.
“Kris? It’s Christian, where’s Jenn?”
“Umm, she’s indisposed at the moment and asked me to grab her phone. Would you like to talk to her or would you prefer to leave a message?” I ask with a giggle.
“Kris . . . I . . . ah . . . I do need to talk to her,” he responds with hesitation and concern stemming from his voice.
“Is everything okay? Did something else happen? I thought—”
Shit, shoot . . . now I feel like an idiot.
“No, actually everything is not okay and yes, something did happen. I’m at work and the paramedics just brought Cliff in through the emergency room. I normally wouldn’t share details like this, and it goes against hospital policy, but after seeing and speaking with Etty I wanted to keep you both in the loop.”
“Oh my God, hang on and let me get her.”
Running down the hallway, I barrel through Jenn’s bedroom door and into her bathroom.
“Kris!” she squeals stepping out of the shower.
“Ugh, I’m sorry but it’s Christian and he needs to talk to you. Something happened again and Cliff was brought into the ER.”
“Oh shit! Okay, give me the phone,” she remarks before wrapping the towel around her body.
Handing over the cell phone, I can’t help but worry what in the hell is going on. First the explosion, then the break in and now he’s been rushed to the emergency room. This can’t be good. Listening to half of the phone call, I start to pace a path outside of her bathroom while I chew on my thumbnail.
Time seems to drag on the longer I wait. My thoughts immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion and I hate that. Silently I say a little prayer hoping that everything will be okay. That’s all I can really do until I know exactly what’s going on.
“Hey,” she says walking out of the bathroom.
“Hey,” I respond.
“You look like shit, Kris. Are you feeling okay?” she asks moving past me to sit on the edge of her bed.
I’m unsure how I’m feeling right now. My emotions seem to be a jumbled mess between that dream and this situation . . . both something I have no control over. I honestly don’t understand why this whole ordeal is weighing so heavily on me. Cliff is just a guy I recently met. He’s a friend of a friend to Jenn. Why is it that I’m so distraught over what could be happening to him?
“Kris?” Jenn’s voice pulls my attention back to her.
“Yeah, I’m just worried and I’m not quite sure why. Not knowing what’s going on and the fact that I’m not there is bothering me . . . I don’t know why,” I respond taking a seat next to her. “Anyway, what did Christian have to say?”
Feeling like a bit of an idiot . . . again, I take in a deep breath to collect my thoughts. I can only focus on what I can control. If there’s something I can do, great. If there’s not, I’ll survive regardless.
“So, it seems as though Cliff passed out at the shop this morning. Christian isn’t sure as of yet what happened, but he said he’d let me know. There are a few other things he said Etty was discussing and figured she could use the moral support. I don’t know about you, but I kind of want to go and see if I can help in any way. I know it may seem weird and all, but I want to be there for her. She means a lot to Christian so if she’s hurting I want to be there to support her however I can . . . is that weird?”
Letting out an unintentional laugh, I rest my head on my sister’s shoulder. We are two of a kind, fixers at heart and unwilling to let anyone struggle without our help.
“No, not at all. I’m feeling the same way. Were you planning on going into the office today or just working from here? I have absolutely nothing going on so if there is something I can do, I’m all for it.”
“Good, then it’s settled,” she says jumping off her bed. “I can get access to my work from the laptop later; I’m not too worried about it. Why don’t you go get yourself ready and I’ll text Christian to let him know we’ll be over later. Maybe we can bring the crew some food so they’re not forced to eat the treats of the hospital vending and cafeteria.”
“Good call, give me a half hour and I’ll be ready.”
With our arms full and carrying enough food to feed an army, Jenn and I walk through the emergency room doors a short while later. As we enter the waiting area, we are immediately met by Linc and Ashley who are more than willing to help grab some of the load.
“Hey, guys, is there any word?” Jenn asks.
“No, not really,” Linc responds in frustration. “To make matters worse, they won’t tell us anything because we’re not immediate family. I’ve tried telling them he has no one but us . . . they’re a bunch dumb shits.”
I can see he is internally struggling with all of this, it’s written all over his face. Cliff is his family and I know Linc would do whatever he could to get the answers he needs to help his friend.
“They are being serious dicks about anyone seeing him. Etty and Steve are the only ones they’ve let in and that’s pretty much thanks to Christian. The cops have been here for the last hour, but there’s nothing they can do ‘til he wakes up.”
I instantly perk up as soon as hear that last part. He’s still out. He hasn’t woken up yet. My heart sinks to the floor, my stomach churning with worry.
What in the world is wrong with me? I need to play cool . . . chill your shit, Kris.
“So he’s still out, huh. Umm . . . did the doctors say anything or give an indication as to why he passed out?”
“Yeah, as far as I know he’s still unconscious. The guys have been going nuts since we got here. I swear when all this shit is said and done we need to go on a magical relaxation retreat. The past few years have been hell on these guys and they deserve a little rest and relaxation,” Ashley replies.
Giving her the best grin I can muster. I step over to a nearby table and set down the bags.
“We brought a lot of stuff. Will you let the others know that it’s here? I’m just going to step outside for a few mi
nutes to get some air.”
“Yeah of course, thanks again, Kris.”
Before Jenn can realize I’ve slipped away, I quickly duck out of the waiting area and outside. Walking around the building, I pay close attention to the smallest details in hopes to help ease my mind. Cars pass along the street, some turning into the hospital others continuing along their daily commute. The traffic lights change from red to green, signaling the traffic to stop and go. Men and women walk past me on the sidewalk, taking, laughing, and moving through their everyday lives. From a distance, everything that surrounds me feels at peace, but then again I’m an outside perspective looking in. I haven’t a clue as to the inner turmoil that stirs within each of the people I’ve come in contact with on my walk. They’re strangers to me, but to someone else they could be a mother, son, sister, uncle . . . someone loves and worries about them regardless of what it is that they’re doing.
My chest starts to feel tight as a wave of nausea pulls from my stomach. I know this feeling and the ache that has consumed me for the past year. I want to move past this feeling. I want to be able to have friendships and possible relationships without stressing if that person will always be here or if I’ll lose them. Having lost a loved one is a pain that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I want to feel less, worry less, and not have to stress about life as much as I have. But right now, it’s just not possible. The man who is resting under this roof is just a man I met a few times, yet the pull I felt and the way he was able to look into a part of my soul is something that most have never been able to do. In a split second, we formed a connection that with others may have taken years.
Maybe I’m crazy, maybe this is just me trying to fill a void, but I don’t think so. There is something about that man in there that has me so drawn to him. I don’t know what has happened or what his past may be. All I do know is that for one reason or another we are two cursed souls looking to be made whole again.
Chapter 20
Where am I? How did this happen? What the fuck?
Struggling to open my eyes, I attempt to lift my head as pain starts to shoot down my neck into my lower back. Realizing I’m not able to move, I rest my head back onto the pillow and take in the space around me. There’s a beeping noise to my right and bright lights overhead separated by large white ceiling tiles.
Am I in . . . the hospital?
Sounds of muffled voices alert my attention to the other side of the small room. I just can’t seem to make out what anyone is saying, it’s too hard to focus, and my head is pounding. Trying to concentrate on why I’d be here and what the hell could have happened, I can’t seem to remember the last thing I did before just now.
“Cliff? Steve, I think he’s waking up. Cliff, can you hear me?” A soothing voice alerts me that Etty is close by. I know it’s her, I can recognize that voice anywhere.
A soft hand grazes my knuckles and I can sense warmth on either side of me. Working to open my eyes again, I can see both Etty and Steve are by my side. Trying to move my lips to speak, I can’t. My throat is so dry.
“Don’t try to talk, give me a second,” she states before rushing away from me.
Within a few seconds she’s back and placing a straw to my lips. Sucking through the plastic, cool water fills my mouth, quenching my dry throat.
“Ahh, thank you, sweets, I needed that,” I croak. “What happened?”
Again, I try to remember the last thing that led me to here. Everything is set in a fog. I can barely remember where I woke up this morning.
“You passed out, man, gave us all quite a scare,” Steve says with concern. “You’ve got a brew of cops out here waiting to talk to you too. I swear, man, if this doesn’t light a fire under their asses . . . I will.”
“Wait . . . why would me being here . . . what happened?”
“Shh, relax, Cliff. Here let me help you get more comfortable. I’ll lift the bed here so you’re not straining your neck and you can see us better,” she remarks before reaching for the bedside remote and lifting me to a semi-sitting position.
“Thank you,” I respond with a wink.
With a smile, she moves in closer and grabs my hand with hers.
“The doctors won’t tell us much because we’re not immediate family. It took all I could to get this little bit of information from Christian,” she pauses for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. “Cliff . . . I don’t . . . err, I mean we don’t want you getting upset. They’ve been running some tests and it’s shown a serious amount of toxicity in your system. It had to be ingested shortly before you passed out. Did you eat or drink anything while you were at the shop with us?”
“Poison! They . . . someone fucking poisoned me!” I shout, my body bolting completely upright.
Fuuuuuuuck!
My hand quickly grabs my head as a rush of pain leaves me feeling lightheaded.
“Shh, come on, Cliff. We need to keep you calm and relaxed,” Etty urges. “Please rest your head back onto the pillow. I can tell you’re in pain.
“Relax! How the hell would you be reacting right now if you found out someone tried to kill you with poison?” I grit through my teeth.
Resting my head back against the pillow, I close my eyes as a wave a nausea hits.
“Damn it, Cliff, don’t you dare take it out on Etty. She’s here to help you, not hurt or agitate you. Besides, once the cops get in here you’re going to become more of a miserable son of a bitch. ‘Til then, lighten up on the ones who actually love and care about you.”
Fuck me.
Opening my eyes, I turn my head toward Etty. Her eyes are filled with tears, because of me.
Damn it to hell.
“Etty . . . I’m an ass, I’m sorry,” I respond. “This is a lot to take in, my head is spinning in a million directions and for the life of me I can’t figure out which way is up or down.”
“It’s okay, I get it. Like Steve said, I’m here to help. First, do you need anything right now?” she asks wiping away a fallen tear. Her eyes now filled with empathy and love.
“No, sweets, thank you,” I respond, squeezing onto her hand.
“Good, now think. We need to figure out where the hell you would have consumed this stuff,” Etty says while pacing around the hospital bed. “I don’t want to meddle with what the police are going to do, but I do want a heads up on what we are dealing with here. They don’t seem to want to tell us shit, we need to be on our game from now on and know what or whom we should be looking out for. Think back through your morning. What did you eat or drink?”
“I haven’t eaten anything since I woke up at Steve and Ashley’s. The only things I’ve had to drink were a cup of coffee at their place, the water Jo gave me during my panic attack, and then I grabbed a bottle of water that was sitting on the display case at the shop.”
Silence fills the small space of the ER room. No voices communicated, just the wheels in our heads spinning.
Poison . . . how far are they willing to go to get what they want? This is insane and for the first time since this has all started . . . I’m scared.
“Wait . . . where did you say you grabbed the water bottle from?” Etty asks in confusion.
“The display case as soon as you walk in. I wasn’t even thinking whose it was at the moment. I just grabbed it and took a long sip. Why?” I ask, feeling even more confused myself.
“How would a bottle of water get on the display case? Everyone in the crew knows how anal I am about putting shit on that glass. Who could have—?” she asks with a puzzled expression, her hands on hips.
Again, the room goes quiet. The beeping sound of the monitor begins to increase as my heart starts to race.
My God . . . was someone in our shop?
Waking up in a fog, my eyes begin to scan the white walls as the sunlight streams in through the room.
Where in the fuck am I?
Attempting to sit, my hand flies up to my chest as the pain begins to radiate down my torso. Looking down I can see that
a large bandage covers my pectoral muscle.
What happened?
Memories start to flash through my mind of the warehouse. The gun, the sound of the bullet flying out of the chamber and launching into my chest . . . I fell to the floor and everything went black.
Now . . . now I’m laying here in this bed, but I’m not exactly sure where here is? Again trying to sit, my eyes scan the room. Am I in a hotel?
“Hello . . . Hello . . . Is anyone there?”
What in the fuck is going on here?
Lifting my body from the bed, I move to stand and begin to look around the small room.
I’m alone; no one is here, at least not right now.
Stepping in front of the mirror, I remove the bandage and look at my wound. My stomach begins to churn as my fingers graze over scabbing. I could have died, maybe I should have died, but I didn’t. Someone brought me here. Someone fixed this, but who?
I can’t figure out what is going on, what happened, or how the hell I got here. I need answers. Turning on the TV, I flip to the local news station. Reporters and feds take up the screen with news of the Sabatino Family’s demise.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I try to put together all of the puzzle pieces.
They got busted?
Someone ratted them out?
That’s what Mr. Sabatino must have been referring to . . . he thought it was me.
Continuing to watch the local station, I see that both Mr. Sabatino and Raphael are awaiting trial. This is crazy, it’s fucking insane. The way it sounds, both of them are looking at years, possibly decades in prison.
Confusion ransacks my brain. I haven’t a clue what the fuck is going on and why I’m here in this hotel, but I do know one thing . . . I need to get the fuck out of here. I can’t stay in this town . . . not with what just happened.
Looking around the room, I check to see if there is anything here that will help me get the hell out of town. Someone helped me get this far, there could possibly be more to help me along the way.