Cosca nodded. “Got my perspective back on the way over, though, and got to seeing the humorous side of it. Well! I'm recovered, and I'd best get back to the office.”
“And let one of your mates come out and cool off?”
Cosca nodded. “And hope there's no mayhem been done while I've been gone. Well! Ta, chaps!” He headed for the door.
“And to yerself, Cosca.” Cholly waved. “Corve, would you mind the store for a bit? Dar and Sam and me got to talk over their list for the next trading trek.”
“Eh? Eh, surely now, Cholly!” Corve heaved himself up, ambled round behind the bar, and began whistling through his teeth as he poured himself another mugful.
Dar looked up at Cholly, already halfway to the back room, and frowned. Then he nodded to Sam and followed.
“What's this all about?” she muttered as she caught up with him.
“Don't know,” Dar answered softly, “but something's gone wrong. I wasn't supposed to go trading so soon.”
They stepped into the back room, and Sam stared.
Books. All around. Ceiling to floor, and the ceiling was high. Books bound, micro-books, molecue-books, holotapes, and readers for everything. Even some antique paper books.
“Just your average hole-in-the-wall tavern,” Dar said cheerfully. “What's up, boss?”
“Sit down, lad, sit down.” Cholly pulled a large box from a drawer and set it on the table. Dar sat down, looking wary. “The problem is,” Cholly said, shaking out a large white cloth and fastening it around Dar's neck, “that the General's likely to give the Honorable and his troop the freedom of the planet.”
Dar blanched. “I hadn't thought of that.”
“No, nor did I. Understandable lack, I'm sure, in view of the rush we were under; still, there it is. So you two've got choices: to hole up till it all blows over, or to go in disguise while they're here.”
“We can't be so well disguised that they won't recognize us,” Sam blurted.
Cholly held up a hand. “Have faith. I had occasion, one time, to travel with a group of wandering actors . . .”
“The cops were after him,” Dar explained.
“Be that as it may, be that as it may.” Cholly took some putty out of a can and started kneading it. “Took a small part now and again, myself, and didn't do badly, if I do say so. . . . Well. The long and the short of it is, I became reasonably good with theatrical makeup, and accumulated a trunkful.”
“Which we are now about to get the benefit of,” Dar interpreted.
“Close yer mouth, now; you don't need no prosthesis on yer tongue.” Cholly pressed the lump of putty to Dar's nose and began shaping it into a startlingly natural hook. “ ‘Robex,' this is—best way of changing the shape of the face that the theater ever came up with. Beautiful, 'tis—just knead it till it gets soft, set it on cartilage, shape it, and it'll adhere as tight as yer natural-born skin.”
“How do I get it off?” Dar muttered.
“With the solvent—and it tastes terrible, so close yer great gape of a mouth. Then it dries as hard as cartilage, this being Robex # 1.”
“It's changing color,” Sam pointed out.
Cholly nodded. “That's part of the beauty of it, don't yer see—it starts out pasty-gray, but takes on the color of the flesh it's on. Now, back in the old days, you'd've had to choose the premixed sort of base that came closest to yer natural skin tone and baste it on all over yer flesh—you would've had ‘Dark Egyptian,' lad. But with Robex, you see, all you do is blend it into yer skin, and it does the rest. No need for base.”
“That's great for cartilage. But if it hardens that way, won't it be just a teeny bit obvious if I use it to shape my cheeks?”
“Oh, we use Robex # 2 for that—dries to the consistency of whatever flesh it's on.” Cholly opened another can and scooped out a lump of dough. “Yer own mother'll never know ye when I'm done with you, lad.”
“My own mother,” Dar mumbled, “never wanted to know me at all.”
About an hour later, the door opened, and Corve stuck his head in. “Uh, Cholly, I believe as how ya might want to be out here.”
“Do I indeed, do I indeed!” Cholly whisked the cloth off Sam and over his makeup chest. “Ayuh, Corve, certainly.”
“Who's the strangers, Cholly?” Corve frowned dubiously.
“Why, this here's Enib Mas, Corve.” Cholly gave Sam a pat on the head, incidentally setting the roots of her wig into the adhesive. “And that there's Ardnam Rod. Just in off the freighter. Turns out Enib's had a year of college, and Ard's had two, so I thought they'd like a look back here.”
“Oh! Welcome, welcome!” Corve bustled in, holding out a hand. “What ya up for?”
“Rather not say,” Dar rumbled in his deepest voice. He pumped Corve's hand. “Pleased to meet you.”
“Me, too,” Sam said in a high, nasal tone. “Do you ever get used to this place?”
“Quick enough, quick enough.” Corve shook her hand. “You don't look too well, lad—but don't worry, Wolmar'll put meat on yer bones. Well! Afraid I gotta be off, Cholly—if I know the boss, he'll've got over his miff, and be open for business again.”
“Best to be sure, best to be sure.” Cholly took Corve by the arm and guided him out. “See you this evening, Corve.”
“That ya will, that ya will. Here's yer company, Cholly. Good day to you.” And Corve headed out the door, leaving Cholly to face General Shacklar and Bhelabher.
“Had him totally fooled, didn't we?” Sam murmured.
“Not for a second,” Dar muttered back. “Why do you think he was so over-polite? And didn't ask where Dar and Sam were?”
Sam said nothing, but her eyes were wide.
“. . . nothing exceptional to look at,” Shacklar was saying as Cholly bustled over behind the bar, “but the drink's as good as you can get out here, and the food's excellent. Most importantly, though, this is really our community center. Groups meet here to discuss anything and everything, to socialize, and to work out personal problems into a sympathetic ear.”
“Hello, Sympathetic Ear!” Bhelabher reached out a tentative hand and smiled at Cholly with genuine, if confused, warmth.
Cholly accepted the hand as Shacklar murmured, “The Honorable Vincent Bhelabher; of the Bureau of Otherworldly Activities.”
“Pleased,” Cholly affirmed, with an eye on the General.
Dar choked in his beer.
“Yes . . .” Bhelabher murmured. “The General had mentioned something about your commercial enterprise. . . .” He seemed rather bemused.
“Enterprising it is, enterprising it is.” Cholly nodded. “Though lately, it's not been too commercial. . . .”
“Well, I'm, sure there're slack periods in any line of commerce. But the General seems to feel that this particular line of exchange offers his only real hope of any lasting peace with the natives.”
“The General's too kind,” Cholly demurred. “Has he told you of his war games?”
“Only a stopgap, Charles,” Shacklar murmured. “I was speaking of hopes for a permanent peace, which must be founded on mutual understanding.”
“I'm sure, I'm sure.” Bhelabher nodded genially. “Still, I'd like to witness one of these, ah, ‘games.’ ”
“As indeed you shall. I regret that I won't be able to conduct you, myself, due to the press of business; will you excuse me, Honorable?”
“Eh? . . . Yes, of course, of course!” Bhelabher seized Shacklar's hand and pumped it. “No need even to explain, of course, old chap; I've had responsibility for major administrative sectors myself. Of course I understand!”
“I hoped you would.” Shacklar's smile seemed real. “Charles, I trust you'll be able to spare the Honorable your best trader for a guide during his stay here.”
“Oh, of course!” With a wicked grin, Cholly slapped Dar on the back. “None but the best. General! Ard here, he's yer man!”
This time Dar managed to at least get the beer down the right pipe, and lifted
his head to give Cholly his best gimlet-glare. But Cholly just kept grinning, as though he hadn't a care in the world, which he hadn't.
“Ard will see you get a thorough look at our piece of this planet, and a good bit of what's outside the wall then,” Shacklar said. “In the meantime, please be assured we'll do all we can to recover your credentials.”
“Not unless they're awfully good at reconstructing ashes,” Dar murmured to Sam. She kicked him.
“I very much appreciate it,” Bhelabher said earnestly. “For my part, I've seen to it that the shuttle pilot carried back a note to BOA, an official dispatch, of course.”
“And the liner should be bound back inward in a week.” Shacklar nodded. “But I'm afraid I'll have to ask your indulgence there. Honorable—after all, it is a two-month journey to Terra.”
“Oh, I quite understand! But if all goes well, we should receive a reply in half a year, Standard Terran. Still, I have hopes we'll recover our credentials before then.”
“I'm sure we'll manage to conclude the manner in some fashion,” Shacklar assured him. Something beeped at his hand, and his brow netted. “Can't they get by without me for a short hour? Yes, Fordstam, what is it?” he murmured into his ring, then held it to his ear. After a moment, he sighed and spoke into it again. “Yes, yes, I'm on my way. . . . You'll excuse me, Honorable, but it seems one of my soldiers has been making decent proposals to a Wolman girl, and the tribe's mayor's concerned. Indecent proposals they're used to, but they don't know quite what to make of this one.”
“Well . . . I'm sure it had to happen sooner or later,” Bhelabher mused. “What's your policy on intermarriage?”
“None at all, at the moment,” Shacklar confessed. “But I hope to have one by the time I get back to HQ. Will you excuse me?” The General went out the door.
Dar counted mentally, ticking off seconds on his fingers. When he got to five, a joyful whoop resounded from the street outside. Bhelabher looked up, blinking, but Dar nodded. Shacklar'd been waiting a long time for this “incident.” He might not have had the policy, but he sure had it ready.
“Do your people always express themselves so exuberantly?” Bhelabher seemed smaller, somewhat lost, with Shacklar's departure.
“Not always,” Cholly admitted. “They're often depressed. Still, there's no sense just telling you—take the good man and show him, Ard.”
“Mm?” It only took Sam's elbow in his ribs to make Dar react to his new name. “Oh, yes! Yes. . . .” He heaved himself to his feet with a sigh. “Yes, if we hurry, we can just make the two o'clock war. See you later, Cholly.” It was more of a threat than a promise.
5
Dar lifted a glass in a trembling hand and drank deeply. “I tell you, I don't know if I can last it out.”
“What for?” Cholly twisted the empty out of his hand and replaced it with a full one. “There's never a chance that he'd recognize yer.”
“Yeah, but I'm running out of things to show him.” Dar started to sip, then stared at the glass. “I just emptied this.”
“And he just refilled it.” Sam shook her head. “You are in bad shape.”
“Come, now!” Cholly cajoled. “A whole planetful of marvels, and you can't find a week's tour? Come, indeed! What've you shown him?”
“Well, let me see.” Dar started ticking them off on his fingers. “The Wall—all—all thirty miles of it. The Two-O'Clock War. A Wolman village. The Eight-O'Clock War. He had a conference with Shacklar. The Two-O'Clock war. The enlisted men's recreation complex and organic market. The officers' recreation complex and fixed market. The Eight-O'Clock War. Conference with Shacklar. The Two-O'Clock War. A Wolman trading session. A Wolman information-barter . . .”
“Adult school,” Cholly murmured.
“That, too. . . . A Wolman workshop. The Eight-O'Clock War. Conference with Shacklar. The Two-O'Clock War. He likes wars.”
“I was beginning to get that impression,” Sam agreed.
“You still haven't shown him the parade ground. Or the gaol.”
Dar shook his head. “Depressing.”
“Or the Little Theater. The Concert Hall.”
“Boring.”
“How do you know? Could be he likes amateurs. Then there's the radio studio, the 3DT studio, the barracks . . .”
“All the high spots, huh?”
Cholly shrugged. “Nobody said you had to entertain the man—just to guide him. You wouldn't want him to get a false impression of us, would you?”
“Yes,” Dar snapped. “Definitely.”
Cholly straightened up with a sigh. “Then ye've nought but yourself to blame if he's hard to get along with.”
“That's the strange part.” Dar's brow knit. “He's not.”
“ ‘Course he would be. You'd be, too, if . . . how's that again?”
“He's not,” Dar repeated. “He's not tough to get along with at all. He's been getting more and more pleasant every day. In fact, today he was a real nice guy. I'm amazed at how wrong my first impression of him was.”
“I'm amazed at how good a psychiatrist the General is,” Cholly grunted.
Something beeped in the back corner, and kept on beeping.
Sam looked up. “A holophone? Here?”
“Why not?” Dar smiled. “Radio waves don't have to have plastrete buildings around them, you know.”
Cholly ambled back to the phone and pressed the “receive” button. “Cholly's Hash House, Bar, an' Natural Food Emporium. . . . Oh, it's yerself, General! . . . Who? . . . Oh, yes, he's here! You want to . . . You don't want to . . . You want to see him? Right now? Begging yer pardon, General, but—what's he done? . . . Oh? Oh, I see. Yes, yes, right away . . . Same to you, General. . . . Right.” He switched off and ambled back to Dar. “Well, well, my boy, seems you've attracted notice.”
Dar's mouth went dry. “What'd I do now?”
“Nothin', it seems, except maybe a good job. He says it's not what you have done, but what you will do, if you follow me.”
“I don't.”
“Neither do I. But that's what he said, and if you've any hopes of our scheme working out, I think ye'd best get over there. Hop to it now, Dar! Lick-split!”
Dar hopped.
“Yes, I really must thank you,” Bhelabher agreed. “Seeing the way this colony's been organized has been a revelation to me.”
“My thanks,” Shacklar murmured. “Still, it's scarcely in the same category as changing wine into water.”
“It certainly seems not far less.” Bhelabher beamed at Dar with owlish enthusiasm. “Do you realize what this man has managed to induce here? Hope! Optimism! An atmosphere of opportunity! A growing, progressing society!”
“Well, yes, I had sort of realized something of the sort.” Dar wondered if he was missing something. “And it sure is darn near a miracle, compared to the ball-and-chain world this place was when I came.”
“Compared to Terra! To the Proxima Centauri Electorate! To any of the Central Worlds! Do you realize what a paradise this is?”
Dar stared. “You like outdoor plumbing?”
“I'll take it any day over the spiritual septic tank the Central Worlds have become! We've become stratified there, young man, stratified! Do you know what that means?”
“Uh-h-h-h-h . . .” Dar rewound his memories to a conversation with Cholly, six years ago, about the nature of tyranny. “Yeah. It means you're either a subject or a ruler, and there's no way to change it.”
Bhelabher looked startled for a moment; then he nodded. “Well put, well put!” He turned to Shacklar. “Isn't it amazing how the simpler way of stating something so often catches the essence of it?” He turned back to Dar. “But you're quite right, young man, quite right—no one can move up. So the vast majority live out their lives in dull, repetitious desk jobs, with only 3DT, euphorics, and cabaret passes for pleasures.”
“Sounds wonderful,” Dar sighed. “When do I get a chance to be bored?”
“I'm sure any of our Terran
slaves would be delighted to trade places with you if they really had the slightest inkling of what you have here. And our ‘fortunate few' would be even more eager—they can have anything they want, but find nothing worth having. Still, they're convinced there must be some job worth having—so they spend their lives in pursuit of some meaning in pleasure.”
“I'll find it.” Dar raised a hand. “Won't take me long, either.”
“I'm sure you would. The pleasures of the senses only seem to have meaning when they're rare. So our poor privileged ones never can find the purpose they're seeking—but they keep looking for it.”
Dar frowned. “Are you trying to tell me that the only real difference between the classes and the masses is that the classes' desperation is noisy, and the masses' desperation is quiet?”
“No, I'm trying to tell you that the only difference that matters is between them and yourself—or, more accurately, between Terra and Wolmar. Here, a mere private has as good a chance as the General of getting whatever pleasures are available—that is, if he earns his points and saves his credits.”
Dar nodded. “I do. And now that you mention it, we all do have pretty much the same, ah, forms of recreation . . .”
Shacklar nodded. “The advantage of having very few pleasures.”
“. . . and Cholly and the General, between them, keep opening up more upper-level jobs, such as . . .” Dar swallowed “. . . trading.”
“The advantage of an expanding economy.” Shacklar leaned back, locking his fingers across his chest. “Fortunately for us, the Wolmen had a very unsophisticated technology.”
“True, you found all the elements here when you came,” Bhelabher admitted. “But you also had the wisdom and ability to combine them!” Bhelabher's smile saddened. “Such traits are rare. I, for example, lack both.”
“You're wise to realize your limitations.” Shacklar picked up a data cube and rolled it between his fingers. “But I wonder—do you have as sure a grasp of your strengths?”
“Oh, I think that I do.” Bhelabher fairly beamed. “That cube you're playing with, now—give me a million of them, and the tools of my trade, and I'll set them up for you so that I can have any of their septillions of bits for you within thirty seconds of your asking for it.”
Escape Velocity Page 8