by Willow Cross
“All this anger isn’t going to get you anywhere with her. It will push her away. You don’t understand what it is like to grow up an orphan. Even though our family is odd, it’s still better than no family at all. At least for Sarah, anyhow. If it were up to me, I’d move back to Aunt Edna’s. But it ain’t up to me.”
A confused look came over Shad’s face as he asked, “What do you mean if it were up to you? You guys have to stay here? Someone’s holding you prisoner or what?”
“It’s too hard to explain. Our situation is…complicated. I don’t know that either of us want to be here, but we really don’t have much of a choice at this point. There’s stuff going on here you couldn’t possibly understand, Shad. I wouldn’t know how to begin to explain it to you. Even if I wanted too--and I don’t.”
Shad picked up a round flat stone and threw it at the water. It skipped across three times before sinking.
“That’s pretty cool. How’d you do that?”
“It’s easy. I’ve been doing it since I was five. Here, I’ll show you.”
Jason uttered a mental sigh of relief. Sarah was right; he was easy to talk to. Too easy. He’d almost let the cat out of the bag, that would have caused huge trouble for all of them. Maybe her seeing him was not a good idea after all. Oh well, I have a whole month to decide if he will make a good pack member. After that, it won’t matter what he knows.
***
A loud crack resounded as Thomas split another log. Even with everything going on, someone had to make sure the menial tasks were accomplished before winter set in. When the heavy ice came, power could be out for weeks. The chain saw roared to life as Pete and Jason began taking down another tree across the back yard. Thomas smiled as he looked over the expanse of the lawn. When they first came here, there was no room for grass and flowers. The trees grew nearly to the back door.
“Here’s the next load,” Jason said as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. The rusty wheelbarrow, laden with large chunks of tree trunk, sunk into the ground leaving tracks across the grass.
Thomas arched his back and popped his neck. “Thanks. Hard work, huh?”
“Meh, it’s not so bad. I’d rather do this than sit around and do nothing.”
“You’re a good boy, Jase. I don’t know how you managed to turn out that way with no parents to guide you, but you’re a good boy.”
Red faced, he looked at his feet.
“Hey, I’m not bringing this load up by hand,” Pete yelled.
Jason laughed, dumped the logs on the ground, and headed back toward Pete.
Yep, things are going pretty darn good around here, Thomas thought as he watched the boys throw the next load in the barrow. Seems like they’re getting along well. Might be just what the doctor ordered. Although Pete hadn’t said anything, Thomas noticed the way he watched Sarah when she was around. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, and it seemed like he was spending more and more time at the house. The boy’s too shy. I’m going to have to have a talk with him. If he’s going to stand a chance, he needs to learn how to court.
***
The day before her eighteenth birthday, Sarah sat in the woods alone contemplating what was about to happen. She was lucky. Unlike Jason, she knew it was coming. She wouldn’t have to worry about killing anyone, because she was prepared for it. The guilt Jason carried over those he’d murdered wore heavily on his heart. When he thought she wasn’t looking, she could see the pain of it pass over his face and knew what he was thinking. He’d been trying hard to spend as much time as possible with Shad and his sisters, constantly relaying messages back and forth between them.
Sarah didn’t understand why Shad hadn’t given up on her. She was relieved he hadn’t changed his mind, yet. That was the key word. Tomorrow everything would change for her. She was still having the dream about changing. It still woke her with a scream. Bad enough she'd be turning into a monster, but to have to take control and lead the pack was too much to comprehend. Everything about this was unfair. Why had they come here? Why didn’t they just leave it alone and stay where they were? Now her whole life was messed up. No college, no marriage, no kids…everything she wanted was out of the question. She couldn’t start a family, and bring more like herself into the world.
She lay back and watched the autumn leaves float to the ground. Dead. The trees were all dying, losing their last few leaves to hibernate for winter. It was as if they were signaling the end of her life. Angered by her inability to change things, her mind turned to Shana. Shana hadn’t caused all of this, but she sure hadn’t helped it any. If she would have just been a ’real’ aunt. If she’d just have loved them like she was supposed to. If she’d just… The sound of a twig snapping brought her out of her pity-party. Another snap came directly after.
Sarah’s head turned in the direction of the sounds. A bush rustled, but she saw nothing that gave any indication someone was near. Eyes closed, she let her mind and body relax. Her senses stretched out, feeling the change in air and hearing the difference in the forest sounds. Chirping birds had gone silent, even the bugs seemed to quiet. Each tiny hair on her arms and neck raised in response to the presence. Whoever it was seemed intent on not revealing their location.
“I know you’re there. You might as well just come out.” She called to the lurker.
“Crap,” a muffled voice answered.
Crouched behind a bush, Pete's reddish brown tousled hair popped up. He stood and brushed bits of leaves and grass from his long legs. Nearly as tall as Jason, he towered over the small bush. He watched his feet as he walked the few remaining feet to where Sarah sat, his face red with embarrassment. “Sorry.”
“What are you doing?”
Ice blue eyes, nearly the shade of her own, met her gaze. “I just wanted to keep an eye on you is all. It’s tough the first time even when you know it’s coming. I didn’t handle it so well myself. I just thought maybe you needed a friend to talk too.” Pete kicked at a rotting log, refusing to look at her face.
Sarah laughed and shook her head in confusion. “I don’t even know you, Pete.”
“I know that. Look, I just know how things can be around here is all. People like to do a whole lot of talking, but no one’s real big on listening. I know you’re going to be the leader and stuff--and I’m not trying to step on any toes--I just want to help if I can,” He looked into her eyes, worry all over his face. “If you want me to leave, I will. But if I’m right, and you do need someone to talk to, it might as well be me. I’ve already done this, so I know what you’re going through.”
“It’s okay. Have a seat. I don’t feel like talking right now, but it’d be nice to have some company.” Sarah patted the empty space beside her.
Pete remained quiet and waited for her to speak.
It was nice to have some company. Sarah could feel warmth emanating from him. Although they didn’t speak a word, it was a comfortable kind of quiet. Just two people with much in common, enjoying the day. The last day. Sarah’s thoughts drifted away from her new friend, and back to the dark place she had been before his arrival. Back to the place where she knew she could never have the life she had dreamed of. Sadness overwhelmed her and tears began to trickle down her face.
Within seconds, Pete had his arm around her and she was crying into his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Sarah. I promise. It’s not so bad. If you don't fight it, there's no pain. It just feels weird. After the first few times, you get used to it. Jason's turning was difficult because no one trained him. You've done the meditation, you know it's coming. It will be different for you. You’ll probably start to even like it after a while.”
“I-I don’t know how I’ll ever like it. I hate it. It’s horrible.” She sniffed into his shirt.
Pete stroked her hair with his free hand and rubbed her shoulder with the other. “It just feels that way right now, but I promise, it does get better. You’ll see. There’s something about communing with nature, something special and different. When we’re huma
n we can sit out here and enjoy it, but it’s completely different when you’re a part of it. It’s, well, almost magical.”
Face pressed against his chest, she moved her head from side to side. This monstrous thing could never be magical. She'd never feel that way about it. No matter what he said.
His strong arms wrapped around her pulling her close as a deluge of grief spilled from her. As he felt his shirt become wet with her tears, he murmured, “It’ll be okay. Go ahead and cry. You’ll feel better after you get it all out.” Although he was concerned for her, Pete couldn’t quite keep the smile from his face. He’d wanted to take her in his arms a long time ago, and now that she was there, he wasn’t in any hurry to let her go.
If Sarah hadn’t been crying, she might have noticed the flash of light across the stream. With the newly developed strength in her eyes, she could have seen Thomas grinning ear to ear in victory. Her mate had been chosen, and whether she liked it or not, Pete would be her suitor and protector. Shad didn’t stand a chance.
Chapter Fourteen
B-day. Probably should be D-day. Chaos and dark thoughts wandered through Sarah’s mind. Thomas had already told her at least fifty times she needed to spend the day focusing on her transformation and getting her mind in order. She didn’t want to think about it. In fact, she wanted to think about anything other than that. She tried to think about Shad, but that just made things worse. She thought about how nice Pete was the day before. He was so kind. If she hadn’t already been interested in Shad, she’d probably have a huge crush on him. He was definitely too old for her. Twenty-five was an excessive age difference. Jason would have a cow. Thomas didn’t seem to mind him hanging around though, and that in itself was pretty weird. Pete had arrived before breakfast this morning. Sarah woke up, went out to make coffee, and there he sat at the table, talking to Thom.
He worked outside with Jason some and spent a large amount of time with Thom. God only knows what they were talking about. She could find out easily enough if she wanted to put herself into a trance like state, but that would take extreme effort and she didn’t care enough to try. Every so often, he'd knock on her bedroom door and ask if she needed anything. Each time she told him no, he looked disappointed.
His interruptions were becoming more frequent. She wondered if he was afraid to leave her alone in her room. It hadn’t been ten minutes since his last attempt, and again there was knocking at the door.
“Go away!”
The door opened and Jason strolled into the room, wearing a sheepish grin. “Get up and get dressed.”
“No. What’s the point?” Sarah grabbed a tennis ball from the floor and began bouncing it off the wall.
“Just do it and hurry up. I have a surprise for you,” he said softly, looking over his shoulder as if scared someone would hear him.
Sarah sat up, ball in hand, and whispered back. “What’s going on?”
“Just get dressed and meet me outside. Don’t say anything to Thom. He doesn’t want you leaving today. I know what’s best for you, and he’s not going to pull that ‘fatherly’ crap on me today.”
Sarah nodded in confusion and started digging through her dresser, looking for clothes.
“Make sure you wear something you look good in, and meet me out front in ten minutes. Don’t forget--mum’s the word.” Jason said as he closed the door.
I wish I’d have brought more clothes, she thought as she searched through her meager excuse for a wardrobe. All those times we’ve been shopping, and I never bothered to pick up more than a pair of jeans and a couple t-shirts. Geeze!
Sarah had no idea what her brother was up to, but it sounded like fun. It would definitely make Thomas mad, and anything that pissed him off was fine with her. She pulled on her jeans and threw on her favorite pink sweatshirt. She wouldn’t win any beauty contests but it’s not like they were going anywhere fancy. Before she managed to get her hair brushed and up into a ponytail, Pete was at the door.
“Hey, it’s me. You need anything?”
“Nope, I’m good. Thanks for asking.” Sarah finished brushing her hair and pulled it up, tying a light pink ribbon around it for effect.
“Sarah, can I come in and talk to you for a bit?” Pete nervously kicked at the bottom of the door frame.
“Umm… I’m getting dressed right now, can it wait?”
“Yeah, sure--sorry to bother you.”
“It’s not a bother. I’ll be out in a flash.” She said through the closed door.
Sarah jumped as a rock hit her window with a loud clack. Jason stood by the car pointing to his wrist. She threw her hands in the air with an overly exaggerated shrug, quickly checked herself in the mirror, headed out the door, and collided with Pete.
“Oh crap, sorry.” She said as she looked up into his shocked face.
“It's all good. I was just waiting on you. I kind of hoped we could talk in private, ya know?”
Standing on her tip toes, she whispered in his ear. “Can you keep a secret?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Jason is taking me somewhere special for my birthday. Don’t tell Thom. I’ll be back way before it’s time.”
At first, Pete looked upset, then he smiled and said, “Sure, go ahead. I won’t say a peep. But when you get back, can we talk?”
“Absolutely. It’s a date.” In her exuberance, Sarah kissed him on the cheek before slipping down the hall.
Pete’s hand came to his face touching the place where her light kiss burned. He smiled as he watched her walk out the door. She kissed me. And we have a date? I must be doing something right if she called it a date. Pete followed her out the front door and waved to them as they drove away.
“What’s going on?” Thomas asked from the doorway.
Pete turned to answer him, still grinning. “Jason’s taking her out for a drive to get her out of the house.”
“Did you get to talk to her?”
“Nope, but we have a date when she comes back.”
“A date huh? Well that’s good, that’s very good. Who set the date, you or her?”
Pete wanted to tell him about the kiss but instead answered, “She did.”
Thomas chuckled as he walked away. Things were coming together nicely. It wouldn’t be long before the Indian boy was ancient history, and once he was, the pack would take care of the White Horns. And those three were definitely White Horns.
***
“Would you slow down? I’m getting a headache from all the bumps in the road.” Sarah held on to the brace bar above the car door with all her might.
“We’re late. I’m trying to make up time.”
“Where we going?” The car bounced as it flew over another bump in the road and landed hard. Sarah grabbed at the dash with her free hand to steady herself.
“It’s a surprise. Don’t make me ruin it.” Jason’s mouth slid into a wide grin as he glanced out the corner of his eye.
“I hate surprises, you know that!”
“Quit your whining, would ya woman?”
“Oh, I’m woman now?”
They spent the last few minutes of the drive in their usual banter. Teasing each other and pointing out how each was correct in their statements. Jason turned off the old dirt road into a gravel driveway. As they reached their destination, the trees opened to reveal a huge log cabin nestled in a clearing. All across the front porch hung pastel streamers and balloons. Someone had gone to great trouble to decorate for her birthday. Just as Sarah was about to thank Jason for his kindness, the front door opened and Shad walked out.
“What’s going on?” Sarah asked.
“He’ll tell you, just wait.”
Shad walked to the car and smiled as he opened the door for her. “Happy Birthday!”
“Thanks. Did you do all of this?”
“You’re welcome. And no I didn’t do it all by myself, I had some help,” he said as he nodded toward the twins standing on the porch. “As to why, well let’s just say now that you’re e
ighteen, I think our troubles are over. Don’t you agree?” His eyes sparkled with a humor Sarah couldn’t feel. Their troubles weren’t over. If anything, the real trouble was about to start.
“What, no smile? Aren’t you glad to see me?” Shad’s eyebrows drew together as his head cocked to the side.
“Of course I’m glad to see you. I missed you, it’s just…never mind. Let’s have fun. I haven’t had a real birthday party before.”
“Well it’s about time you did then. Come on, we even baked you a cake!”
Jason followed them up the stairs of the front porch and Ashley grabbed him and kissed him. “Was she surprised?”
“Oh yeah, very.” Jason slid his arm around her waist and kissed her again. They both followed the others into the house.
This is working out just right. When it’s all said and done--Sarah will have Shad and I will have Ash, and everyone will be happy. Jason thought as he watched his little sister’s happy face. Little did any of them know that other plans had been made…
***
Sarah was having such a good time with Shad and his sisters, time passed without much notice. Shad kept her occupied and laughing the entire day. They were finally alone. Jason and the twins were watching a movie in the house while they sat on the porch swing in quiet, comfortable, silence. Shad scooted closer and put his arm around her shoulders. Without thinking, she cuddled up to him, resting her head on his well-muscled chest. “This is nice,” he said.
“Uh huh, very nice.”
“I wish things could be different with us, Sarah.”
“Me too.”
“It seems like there is always something on your mind. Something that makes you sad. You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Sarah leaned back and gazed into his eyes. There was truth there, she could see it clearly. For just a moment she thought about telling him everything, but the moment fled when the reality of what she wanted to tell him set in.