by Ian Berry
The twins in their black shirts and pants simply vanished leaving Saskia and me with James and Lydia. “Off they go for a quiet afternoon at the plant, said Saskia. “They’ll enjoy the rest of the day. It was quite good fun.”
“And now we need to vanish as well,” I said. “Not quite like that - we’ll take the mini.”
Rob had delayed doing tea until he heard from us. I rang him from the mini as Saskia trundled it down James long drive.
“TV stars are on their way home. Don’t bother with the red carpet, we’ll manage without.”
It doesn’t take long to get from James and Lydia’s to our house. Rob was still in the kitchen chained to the cooker. We each gave him a kiss and retired upstairs.
“Just need to get out of these overalls, Dad,” said Saskia. “Not the most feminine thing we’ve worn recently.”
“Oh I don’t know. You look quite elegant.”
“Knock it off, Dad. We look like two of your mechanics.” She did have a huge grin as we climbed the stairs.
Changing into jumper and jeans took about three seconds. About two and a half seconds of that was taken up with deciding that that was what we should wear. Then we had to sit around for a few minutes.
“Wonder if anybody’ll ring to tell us they saw us on TV?”
“Maybe a couple. All our friends away at uni won’t have seen it.”
“Bet your dad recorded it.”
“No bet. I think he did as well.”
Back downstairs, Rob had just about done rustling up steak and chips. We’d just about done eating it when the first phone call turned up. Barry Grenville.
“The Hunt residence, one of the ladies of the house speaking. “Oh, hi Barry. You watched?”
I turned up my super hearing to listen. I knew Saskia would only have to repeat if for Rob but I’m naturally nosy.
“Mm, yes. I need to say a huge thank you.”
“Enough publicity for you?”
“No, it’s not for that - well it is, but you didn’t mention that we’re a bit financially ...”
“Barry, that’s between you and anybody else you talk to. It’s not for us to blast it all over. That wouldn’t be fair. Did you like the reason we used instead? About getting girls interested?”
“Actually quite clever I thought. Anyway, don’t change the subject, which was me thanking you for saying some things and not others.”
“You are more than welcome. I suppose we’ll have to wait until Sunday to see how well our PR campaign’s worked.”
“We can only wait and see. One last thank you then I’ll leave you in peace. Bye, Saskia. Say hi to Saskia for me.” Barry ended the call.
“Barry says to say ‘hi’. He’s quite pleased with us because we didn’t reveal the real reason for all this messing about.”
I asked a token question to make it seem as if I’d not heard anything, “Did he like the bit about getting girls interested?”
“More or less. He was more interested in thanking us but he seemed quite pleased overall.”
The phone rang again. Rio.
“Saskia! Seen you on TV! you were brilliant!”
“Glad you approve. You got a mention as well.”
“I know. Mum and Dad were jumping up and down, my name on the telly. Can’t wait until Monday”
“Er, Monday could be interesting for you.”
“Why?”
“Think about it. You are the reason all this started. This has been mentioned several times. I think you should be prepared to be interviewed by Frank Fletcher on Sunday.”
“Oh my. I couldn’t - I couldn’t possibly.”
“Yeah you can, we’ll be there, we’ll help you do it. It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”
“Well - ok If you stand beside me.”
“We’ll stand one each side and hold you up. Don’t you worry.”
When Rio was gone, I whispered to Saskia, “Might need to use some Saskia Magic on Rio.”
“She’ll be fine - once we tell her she can do it.”
Saskia decided she needed a nice hot chocolate. “Putting the kettle on Dad. Want a tea or coffee?”
“Coffee dear, please.”
Being en-route to the kitchen meant we missed the next phone call, Rob got there first.
“The Hunt residence, definitely not one of the ladies of the house speaking. Oh, hello, Ellie. How are you? Yes, I know - it’s unusual. Mind you, I’m holding them off as we speak, one with my spare hand, the other with a foot. Given that it’s almost certainly not me you want to speak to, shall I let them go and give one of them the phone? Ok, Ellie. Take care, here’s a Saskia.”
We’d been waiting patiently while Rob passed the time of day with Ellie, now Saskia had a hold of the phone.
“Hi Ellie. Don’t mind Dad. You know what he’s like.”
Ellie was chuckling at the end of the phone, “I just wanted to tell you I’ve spoken to Sir James and everybody else. You’re left ‘till last as usual I’m afraid - largely because I’m fairly sure you can fall in with almost anything I plan.”
“Hm. Was round at James and Lydia’s earlier this evening, they didn’t say anything. Mind you, been a bit of a day one way or another.”
“What’s been going on Saskia?”
“Did you hear anything about a school collapsing, perhaps on the national news?”
“Just a mention.”
“We had to organise Kyra and Katya for the police. Then we ended up on the local news, in the studio. We were going to be there anyway, some PR stuff we’ve been organising. All in all, we’ve spent quite a bit of time in front of the cameras today.”
“Yeah - all four of us,” I whispered.
“On the telly. Blimey. Wish I’d been able to watch it.”
“Might still be able to. I’ll be very surprised if Dad didn’t record it. Oh - yep - he’s nodding. Our embarrassing performance recorded for posterity.”
“Saskia, I know you - and Saskia - your performance will not have embarrassed you. Quite the reverse.”
“Thank you, Ellie. Now, the reason you rang? Details please.”
“Oh, yes. Seven o’clock at James’ on Saturday the twenty first. Is that ok?”
“Should be, Saskia’s writing it down. On her hand at the moment but we’ll find an old chip wrapper or something to make a note on later.”
I wasn’t writing it on anything. I’d not forget it, and even if I did, Saskia wouldn’t have forgotten it either.
Sixteen
Saturday. I’d remembered we still had Rio’s camera at the plant on Friday. Lucky really because she needed it on Saturday to do Rob’s weekly photo shoot. She still had the tummy flutters.
“I can’t be interviewed tomorrow. I’ll die.”
“Rio, you won’t die. Where’s the Rio who pushes people around to photograph them, the Rio who rubbed shoulders with the Prime Minister, the Rio who’s a friend of Sir James Robinson?”
“It’s her weekend off, ok?”
“Dan will be there to hold your hand.”
“I know.” Then in a small voice, “I know.”
“Rio, do you think Dan will feel anything less for you if you make a mess of your interview?”
“He might.” Then an even smaller voice, “He might.”
Ah-ha. Now I saw the problem. I held her arms with both hands and looked into her eyes.
“There are a few things you should know. First is that if you make a mess it’s onto tape. Frank will just ask you again. Then they’ll cut it together. That’s first. Now, second. Dan will not have a problem if you have a problem. Trust me, I know. Third is last and is most important. You won’t mess up anyway. I know you, Rio dear. You can do this.”
Because I had her complet
e attention, the Saskia Magic hit her like a club. I saw her eyes lose focus just for an instant as her brain was rewired or reprogrammed or whatever the Magic actually does.
“Yes - yes I can. I’m being silly aren’t I? Dan won’t mind at all, he’ll hold my hand and help me to be strong.”
“Yes, he will. It’s what boys do, it’s what they’re for - to lean on and take strength from.”
With that apparently sorted out, Rio collected her camera and went off to bully Rob’s ‘lads’ - most of whom were well over twice her age. Saskia had a question.
“If boys are to lean on and take strength from, what do we do, Twin?”
“Dear Saskia, we have each other. We need nothing more.”
“Yes. You’re right. Don’t mind me, I’m being silly.” She was due a cuddle later when we were alone.
Sunday. For once we didn’t have anything to look after. Barry Grenville had organised it all. We just had to turn up and race. Wrong.
Anybody with a question asked us first. Mostly we just referred them to Barry. He’d done a wonderful job really. He’d managed to get some more people to take his little cars for a spin. I suspect most of them weren’t paying for the privilege but it got people interested. The highlight of the day was still going to be the truck race and our race together. That was due to happen in the middle of the afternoon.
There was a nominal charge to come and watch and Barry had got ice cream vans and burger vans and a bouncy castle. It seemed like a good day out for your average punter.
James and Lydia turned up mid morning. I had an idea.
“Saskia, what happens when the groups in the racing cars finish? They get an award or a certificate don’t they?”
“Think so. We never did but then we weren’t really punters. Why do you ask?”
“How much more would it add to the day if James was to hand out stuff like that?”
“Brilliant idea. We need to put James and Barry together. I’m sure James’ll be up for it.”
Once we’d started the ball rolling, James and Barry found all sorts of other things James could ‘help’ with. All in all I was reasonably sure we’d increased Barry’s bookings by doing that alone.
Saskia and I walked around being conspicuous. Not difficult in our red outfits and long hair. Many people took pictures of us, some wanted to be in the picture with us. We grinned and put up with it. It was why we were there after all.
Frank and Ray were around as well. they wouldn’t get really interested until the main event - us. Ray was shooting ‘stuff’, what he called packshots and GVs. I had to explain to Saskia that GV meant General View and was telly-speak for extra stuff to pad out the edited piece.
“The trucks are getting quite a bit of interest,” said Saskia. “Perhaps people are waiting to see if one of them falls over.”
“If one does, I hope Rio’s around. Where is she anyway? Not seen her for a while.”
Rio and Dan were on the pit lane wall taking pictures of the racing cars being driven round as fast as the amateur drivers could get them to go.
“Hi Saskias,” said Rio when we nipped across to see what was going on. “Nervous yet?”
“No, don’t get nervous. Probably got no nerves. What’re you doing?”
“What I originally came for. Taking pictures of stuff going fast. Can’t wait for you two. This lot are a load of snails. Hey, Dan’s shown me loads of stuff. Wait’ll you see these pictures.”
Dan shook his head. “I might have shown her but she gets the idea really fast. She’s better than me already.”
“Shut up, you,” said Rio, “This is how it goes. You know stuff I don’t, I might know stuff you don’t. We teach each other.”
“Well how about if you teach me how to eat a burger and chips,” said Dan with a grin.
“You need to be taught? What have you been doing all your life? Come on, Aunty Rio will show you how it’s done.” The pair of them left arm in arm, heads together, laughing to themselves.
“I think I feel Ellie the Fixer arranging for Dan to come to James’ party coming on,” grinned Saskia.
“Not sure Rio would come without him. Think he’s up to meeting our wacky friends?”
“He puts up with us. Aren’t we the wacky-est of the lot?”
“Point is taken. Speak to Ellie. Make it so.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.”
“Speaking of burgers, what about some lunch ourselves. I spy a burger van. Ahead warp factor seven.”
We chose a different burger van to the one Rio and Dan had gone to. Not because we wanted to be alone but more because we wanted to let the two of them be alone to enjoy each other’s company without a couple of interfering Saskias getting in the way. Over lunch, another brainwave hit.
“Mm. Another thought, Twin.”
“What - another one? That’s two this morning. Do you need a lie down?”
“I’d give you a thump but it’s a bit public. Maybe later.”
“Whenever you’re ready -”
“- and as hard as I like, I know, I know.”
“Going to tell me this thought?”
I grinned. “Ok, yeah. James is doing stuff, how about a task for Lydia?”
“Ok. What task?”
“I know we don’t really need it but how about if Lydia waved a green flag at the start of the timed laps and a chequered flag at the end?”
“Hey, brilliant. Raise the profile even more. I like it.”
“Think Lydia’d do it?”
“Can ask, but I’d think so. I get the impression she’s a little bored.”
Lydia was only too pleased to add flag-waving to her list of accomplishments. She was a little surprised when she found out that there’s a right way and a wrong way to actually do it, and then a bit more surprised when she picked it up first go after I demonstrated. All down to the Saskia Magic of course.
By now it was more or less time for the big event. The big trucks were first. Charlie and Steve had agreed to race against the clock in exactly the same way as Saskia and me. This was good as it meant the timing was easier. Arthur had put a small box with a transponder in it on each truck so the timing would be automatic.
Rio and Dan were in position on the pit lane wall, Saskia and I stood next to Lydia to make sure she remembered which flag to wave when. A general announcement having been made, people congregated to watch. Charlie went first.
The two trucks had been parked in the pit lane one behind the other, Charlie’s truck in the front. Barry waved at him and he moved out of the pit lane exit and onto the circuit proper.
How he coped with driving round a twisty race circuit I had no idea. Our little cars had a six-speed gearbox, these big tractor units had about twelve! He must have only had one hand on the steering wheel most of the time.
At the end of the first lap he passed the start line and Lydia waved the green flag to signal the start of the timed runs.
“Blimey, Charlie was right,” said Saskia. “It does look like it’ll tip over.” We could hear the crowd “ooh-ing” and “aah-ing” even without super hearing.
Charlie did three timed laps, at the end of the fourth lap Lydia waved her chequered flag for the end of the timed runs. Charlie did a further lap of honour and ended up in the pit lane parked behind Steve.
Barry had Charlie’s fastest lap time, three minutes and thirty four seconds. I thought that was really good. The whole thing was repeated by Steve. His time was three minutes and thirty eight seconds. Charlie won by four seconds.
Saskia and I dragged the pair of grinning drivers to an improvised podium. To the cheers of the crowd, James shook Charlie’s hand to proclaim him the winner. Rio and Dan were on hand, both with cameras - and so was Ray! Rio shouted instructions.
“Saskias. A kiss for
the winner.”
What could we do? We each gave Charlie a kiss. Then we kissed Steve as well so he didn’t feel left out. We let them down off the platform to meet with family and friends, I thought their grins were even wider. Was that because we’d kissed them? I had to suppose that this was so.
Then it was our turn. Charlie and Steve drove the big trucks out of the way and one of the little cars was wheeled into middle of the pit lane. To increase the tension even more Saskia and I got Barry to toss a coin to see which of us went first. I won.
I put on the helmet and let Saskia and Arthur help me into the driving seat. As before, I had a momentary strange feeling to be doing this after I’d once promised myself I’d never do it again. I realised that Richie had told himself that - Saskia didn’t feel bound by this promise. I still wouldn’t do it on a regular basis but for now it was ok.
Then there was no time for further thought. I could see Rio, Dan and Ray all with cameras poised waiting for me to start. I let the little car roll down the pit lane and out onto the circuit.
Gently I picked up speed until by the time I was back at the start line and Lydia with the green flag I was travelling close to a hundred miles an hour. You can’t go round corners at this speed so I let my autopilot take over, braking and changing gears as required.
I took the corners, left and right, accelerated down the straight bits. I found I was enjoying myself. In fact, so much so that I lost count of the number of laps. It was a good job we’d press ganged Lydia, her chequered flag was the only thing that reminded me to come in on the next lap.
I brought the car to a smooth stop more or less where I’d started from. What seemed like a million people appeared to help me out of the seat, although it was probably only one or two. I spotted Ray with his camera. It reminded me of the phrase we’d used several times. I took off my helmet and carefully shook out my long hair. I hoped the effect was all I’d hoped it would be. It was.
“Twin, Ray’s grin is nearly touching his ears,” whispered Saskia.
“Good. See if you can actually make it touch them,” I whispered back.
They told me my time, no secret, it was all over the pit lane and paddock. Two minutes and thirty seven seconds. That’s what Saskia had to beat.